Alyssa's POV
For the first time in forever, I cannot stop looking at myself in the mirror. Tonight is homecoming, and Nicole offered to come over and help me with my hair and make-up. I haven't had a girlfriend since last year, so I jumped at the opportunity to spend some one on one time with her.
"You look absolutely beautiful, Alyssa." Nicole says as she stands next to me in front of my mirror.
Even I have to admit that I look incredible. My royal blue dress makes my eyes pop, and Nicole did a fantastic job with my makeup. My mom is amazing with hair, so she helped me curl it before Nicole arrived. I haven't felt this pretty since God knows when.
"Thanks. You were such a help. You look great as well." I say as I glance over at my friend. She is wearing a short red dress, and her blonde hair is packaged into a trendy up due. Nicole sure is a hottie.
"I'm so excited for this dance! I haven't hooked up with anyone since this summer. Hopefully I can find a hot and dirty dancer who wants to lip lock." Nicole says as she reapplies her lipstick.
Nichole's words cause a shiver to run down my spine. After what I went through in New York, I have no idea how girls are so comfortable making out with total strangers. Kissing Blake was difficult enough, and I trusted him at that point in time.
"Can we have some serious girl talk?" Nicole asks me suddenly.
"Sure. What's up?" I ask her curiously.
"Do you like Jesse? I mean, do you like him as more than a friend?" Nicole asks as she raises an eye brow.
Jesse is one of the most handsome boys I've ever met, but I wouldn't say I'm interested in him romantically. I wish I was because on paper, Jesse is absolutely perfect. He's smart, athletic, and incredibly charming. Any girl would kill to be going to this dance with him, but I honestly couldn't care less. Obviously something is seriously wrong with me.
"I-I don't know. Why?" I ask Nicole nervously.
"Because he's totally into you, Alyssa. Jesse would totally hook up with you tonight." Nicole says with a wide smile.
The thought of kissing Jesse doesn't excite me in the slightest. If anything, it makes me feel queasy. Then again, I feel this way around all guys. All guys except for Blake...
"I don't want to ruin our friendship." I say, unsure of what else to tell Nicole.
"I get it, Alyssa. You care about Jesse, and you're afraid of losing him if a relationship doesn't work out. I've been best friends with Jesse since kindergarten, and he's an amazing guy. He would never stop being your friend merely because you tried something that didn't work out. If you have feelings for him, you should let go of your fears and go for it." Nicole says as she rests a hand on my shoulder.
"Nicole, can I be completely honest with you?" I ask as I turn to face the girl.
"Of course! What's up, Alyssa?" Nicole questions.
"I don't- I don't think I'm interested in Jesse. I think I might like someone else." I say in a barely audible whisper.
"Oh my God! Who is it?" Nicole asks as her eyes grow wide with shock.
"It's totally stupid and it would never work out. He's a total jerk, and I hate myself for liking him..." I start to ramble.
"You like Blake!" Nicole exclaims as a look of disgust washes over her face.
"Don't look at me like that, Nicole. I already told you that I know it's stupid. Besides, how did you know it was Blake?" I ask her curiously.
"Jesse tells me everything, Alyssa. He was genuinely worried about you, and honestly so am I. Blake isn't a good guy, Alyssa. He's literally slept with half of the girls in our grade, and after he gets in their pants he just dumps them like a sack of rotten tomatoes. You seem like a genuinely sweet girl, and it would kill me to see Blake ruin your innocence." Nicole says as she stares into my blue eyes.
Little does Nicole know, someone else already ruined my innocence. Blake could break my heart a million times, and it wouldn't matter. He couldn't possibly damage me more than Douglas already has.
"Nicole, Blake kissed me." I blurt out suddenly.
"Yeah, I figured. He kisses all of his dates. What's the big deal?" Nicole asks with an eye roll.
"I-It's not. It's just that Blake is the only boy I've ever kissed. Willfully at least." I say, immediately regretting the last part of my sentence.
"Willfully? What are you talking about?" Nicole asks as she furrows her brow in confusion.
"Look, forget I said that last part. All you need to know is that I have feelings for Blake. I know it's wrong, but I can't help the way I feel." I say with a breathy sigh.
"Oh sweetie, I totally get it. I've fallen for the bad boy a time or twenty, and they're never easy to get over. Do you know what I do whenever I feel the way that you do?" Nicole questions.
"What?" I ask her curiously.
"I kiss someone else. I know it sounds slutty, but it always reminds me that there are plenty of fish in the sea. You are a beautiful person, Alyssa, and you shouldn't have to settle for the Blake's of the world." Nicole says as her voice begins to soften.
"I wish it was that simple, Nicole." I say as I try to fight back tears.
"Why can't it be that simple?" Nicole asks me.
At that moment, the doorbell to my house begins to ring. Jesse and Noel are picking us up here so our parents can take pictures before the dance. Thank God they're here! I could have used that distraction about ten minutes ago.
"We should get going. The boys are here." I mutter before grabbing my purse and hurrying out of the bedroom.
As soon as Nicole and I make it to the stairway, I see all of the parents. My eyes dart over to my mom, and I gasp when I realize that tears are pouring out of her eyes. Is she honestly crying right now?
"Mom, are you okay?" I ask as my cheeks turn bright pink.
"Yes, yes, of course. You both look incredible." My mom says with a smile.
"They do indeed. You look just like your mother did at seventeen, Alyssa." Hanna says as tears begin to flow out of her eyes.
I decide to ignore the emotional mothers and approach Jesse, who is wearing a black suit and a blue tie to match my dress. He looks handsome. Maybe even handsomer than Blake. All of the sudden, I don't feel too disappointed that he is my date.
"Our moms are absolutely right, Alyssa. You are beautiful." Jesse whispers as he stares into my blue eyes.
Before I can respond, Hanna and my mom are hovering over us. Great. What do they want now?
"We need to get some pictures. Jesse, have you given Alyssa her corsage yet?" Hanna asks as she turns to face his mother.
"Maybe we can get some of Alyssa putting on the boutonniere?" My mom suggests.
"Mom!" Jesse and I both exclaim at the same time.
"Both of you stop whining. We're going to get pictures, and you're going to enjoy it!" Hanna says as she pulls out her camera.
Line Break
The dance is much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. My old school's homecoming consisted of a sweaty gym and greasy chips. I can tell that Rosewood High goes all out for its dances. There is a live band playing, and there are several game booths surrounding the dance floor. Not to mention, the desserts are absolutely fantastic.
And then there's Jesse. The entire night, he's kept his arm around my waist. For some reason, it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable in the slightest. If anything, I feel happy that he's not embarrassed of me. Every time one of the football players comes up to Jesse he pulls me close to him and introduces me by saying, "This is Alyssa. My date." I know it's not a huge deal, but it makes my stomach feel all tingly.
"Want to go get our fortunes read?" Jesse asks as he gestures towards the fortune booth at the end of the gym.
"Sounds fun." I say before grabbing Jesse's hand and dragging him over to the booth.
As soon as we get to the booth, an overweight woman in a gypsy costume gestures for us to take a seat. I sit next to Jesse, and keep my hands intertwined in his. I don't know why, but this woman gives me the creeps.
"What are your names?" The woman asks as she stares directly at us.
"I'm Jesse, and this is Alyssa." Jesse says as he gestures towards me.
"Yes, yes. I can see that." The woman says as she abruptly closes her eyes and holds her palms facing up. She looks intense, and Jesse and I glare at each other nervously. What the hell is going on here?
"You two are the same person. You don't realize it, but you're more similar than you think." The fortune teller says as she opens her greyish eyes.
"H-How so?" I ask her curiously.
"Both of you are terrified of letting the course of true love flow. Alyssa, you have been betrayed. Someone hurt you, and now you're afraid of nearly everyone. Jesse... Your fortune is more cloudy. You love someone, but you're afraid of letting her know. You don't want to lose her." The woman murmurs as she seals her eyes shut again.
"I don't- I don't know what you're talking about." Jesse says as he begins to shake his head vigorously.
"Yes you do. You are both here with the wrong person. Both of you are pretenders. Jesse, you should have asked your friend to the dance. You're in love with her. Alyssa... Why are you trying to be someone you're not?" The fortune teller asks as she looks directly at me.
"I-I'm not trying to be anyone but myself!" I exclaim as I cross my arms over my chest.
"Lies, child. You speak nothing but lies." The fortune teller murmurs.
"I'm not lying!" I argue.
"No. That is not true. Deep down, you wish you had stayed home tonight. The real you feels incredibly uncomfortable, and wants to know why you're sitting so close to Jesse." The fortune teller tells me.
"That's it, we've had enough. Come on, Alyssa. Let's dance." Jesse says before grabbing my hand and leading me away from the fortune teller.
I've never been superstitious, but that fortune teller gave me the creeps. How did she know that someone hurt me? How did she know that a part of me wishes I had stayed home? Maybe I'm a pretender after all. All night I've been ogling over Jesse, when I don't have feelings for him at all. Perhaps I'm in love with the idea of being "normal" after all. I want to go school dances and have a good time for once. I want to look beautiful and feel confident in myself. Most of all, I want to fall in love with the football player who looks perfect on paper. Why can't I do those things? Why can't I just be normal for one freaking night?
"Alyssa, what's wrong. Did something that creep said resonate with you?" Jesse questions.
"No, not at all. Did it resonate with you?" I ask him curiously.
"N-no. Of course not." Jesse says, only hesitating for half of a second.
Before I can respond, the band stops playing music. The singer stands up on stage, and everyone around me freezes.
"Alright ladies and gentlemen! It's a beautiful night tonight, and there are some beautiful girls out on the dance floor. We're going to slow it down, and let the course of true love flowwww." The singer says before sitting back down and picking up his guitar.
"The fortune teller and the band totally planned that." Jesse says as he shakes his head slowly.
"Totally." I murmur.
"Can we please just stop being awkward and dance? You're amazing Alyssa, and I wouldn't want to spend the night with anyone else." Jesse says as he grabs my hand.
"Okay. Let's dance." I say as I force a smile and follow Jesse to the dance floor.
Jesse wraps his arms around my waist, and wrap my arms around his neck. Then we sway, just like we're supposed to. I never know where to look during slow songs. I try looking into Jesse's eyes, but it doesn't feel right.
"What's wrong?" Jesse asks me softly.
"Nothing. I'm just so happy we're here together." I lay, lying through my teeth.
Instead of responding with words, Jesse tilts his head towards mine. He wants to kiss me. At first I'm too shocked to move, but eventually I find it in myself to push away. The fortune teller was right. This isn't what I want.
"Wow." Jesse murmurs has he shakes his head slowly.
"I-I'm so sorry." I say as tears begin to well up in my hazel eyes.
"It's okay. I get it. I just thought we were starting to connect." Jesse says with a breathy sigh.
"Jesse, the fortune teller was right. I'm a pretender." I say with absolute shame in my voice.
"So you've been playing me?" Jesse asks as his eyes grow wide with furry.
"The truth is, I've been playing both of us. I wanted to believe that I could come to this dance and have an incredible time with you. For once, I wanted to be the girl who got to kiss the hot football player in front of the entire school. I guess I just wanted to be normal. But the thing is... I'm not normal, Jesse. I don't know what your mother has told you about me, but I've been through a lot in the past two years. As much as I want to pretend like none of it ever happened, I can't. What happened happened, and it's changed me for good..." I start to ramble.
"Alyssa..." Jesse says as his voice begins to soften.
"Stop. I need to get this off my chest. Once day, I'm going to be okay. One day I'm going to kiss someone, but it's going to be because I want to do it. Not because I'm trying to prove something to myself, or to anyone else." I with a sniffle.
"Alyssa, I'm so proud of you. The truth is, I'm a pretender too. The fortune teller told us the truth." Jesse says as he stares down at his shoes.
"H-How are you a pretender?" I ask him curiously.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm in love with Nicole. I've been in love with her since kindergarten, but I never had the balls to tell her the truth. Other than Nicole, you're the only girl I've ever felt such a strong physical attraction to. I thought that if I started fresh with you, I'd be able to forget about Nicole." Jesse confesses.
"How's that working out for you?" I ask him curiously.
Jesse sighs, and shakes his head slowly. Wow. I read this situation totally wrong.
"Please don't take offense, Alyssa. I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I wasn't lying when I said that you're beautiful and amazing..." Jesse starts to ramble
"Shut up. You didn't hurt my feelings. I get why you did what you did. You're trying to survive, just like I am. Maybe you should tell Nicole how you feel. For all you know, she could be in love with you too." I tell Jesse softly.
"You're kidding, right?" Jesse asks as he gestures towards Nicole, who is making out with a hockey player in the middle of the dance floor.
"Maybe she's afraid too. She cares about you, Jesse, and I know she doesn't want to lose you." I say as I think back to my conversation with Nicole earlier this evening.
"Maybe, but either way you're right. I don't want to pretend anymore, Alyssa." Jesse says as he stares into my blue eyes.
"So don't." I tell him softly.
"I do, however, want to give you a hug. Can I at least do that?" Jesse asks as he raises an eye brow.
"Of course!" I say as I wrap my arms around Jesse.
"You're still my date for the night, and I promised that we'd have an amazing time. Noel is throwing a huge party at his lake house, and both of us are invited. Will you come with me?" Jesse asks me hopefully.
"I don't know..." I start to ramble.
"Come on, Alyssa. It will be fun." Jesse says as he gives me his puppy dog face.
"Fine, but only because you've been such a good friend to me." I say with a defeated sigh.
Line Break
Jesse lied. The party isn't fun. The music is so loud that it hurts my ears, and Nicole is so drunk that she can't even stand. Jesse is busy making sure she's okay, so I have no one to talk to. I'm not angry at Jesse in the slightest, but it still sucks.
"Hey, Alyssa." Jesse says as he walks over to me with an incredibly wasted Nicole in his arms.
"Hi, Alyssa. You're soooooo hot. I'm sooooo jealous that you're sooooooo hot." Nicole says as she bursts into a fit of giggles.
"In case you couldn't tell, Nicole is sooooo drunk and I need to make sure she gets home safely. I talked to one of my best friends named Ryan, and he offered to drive you home. Is that okay?" Jesse asks me softly.
I don't want to drive home with a stranger. What if he's a total creep? Maybe I should just call my mom and ask her to pick me up. She always says that if I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I should call her.
"He's a good guy, Alyssa. I know him well, and I promise you're in excellent hands." Jesse says, obviously sensing my uneasiness.
I trust Jesse and if he says that Ryan is a good guy, I believe him. I should just suck it up and take the ride with a total stranger. What's the worse thing that could possibly happen?
"Yeah. That's fine." I say with a defeated sigh.
"Thank you so much. I owe you, Alyssa. His car is parked down the street, and he's already waiting for you. Do you want me to walk you over to him?" Jesse questions.
My eyes dart over to Nicole, who is giggling like a maniac. There is not way she'll be able to walk down the street without tripping over her own two feet. I can walk to Ryan's car by myself. I'm a big girl after all.
"It's fine. Just get her home before something happens." I say as I gesture towards Nicole.
Jesse responds by letting go of Nicole and pulling me in for a tight hug.
"Thank you so much. I'm sorry I couldn't take you home. I had a lot of fun with you tonight, and I hope you did too." Jesse says as he stares into my blue eyes.
"I did have fun." I tell him truthfully.
"Good. Will you text me when you get home so I know you're safe?" Jesse questions.
"Of course." I assure him.
Jesse hugs me one last time before grabbing Nicole's arm and dragging her out of the lake house. I suppose I should find Ryan so he doesn't have to wait too long. I walk out of the lake house and absolute shock overtakes my body as soon as the air hits my skin. Jesus Christ it's cold. Why can't dresses cover more skin? I finally regain my composure and take a long step onto the driveway. As I walk down it, I begin to warm up. Hopefully Ryan has a heater in his car...
"Hey look, it's the slut!" I hear a familiar voice say.
Before I can comprehend what's going on, I'm on the ground. Someone just pushed me. I try to scream, but I can't. The attacker has my mouth covered with his hand. I look around to see if anyone will help me, but I don't see a single person. Everyone is inside.
"Grab her. I heard there's a soundproof basement upstairs." A different voice says. Before I can kick, I'm being carried off the driveway. My worst nightmare is coming true. These boys are going to rape me just like Douglas did.
AN: Sorry to end this on a cliffhanger! What do you think will happen to Alyssa? Were you surprised by the way she acted at the dance and by Jesse's confession? Please review and tell me your thoughts. Thanks for reading.