Voices
February 3: 15th-21st
16.02.15
Monday
Kido Jyou
So, uh... Wow. Where do I start?
On Saturday, Sora-chan and Eimi-chan gave me treats during homeroom. They're the first I've gotten from someone besides Mom, so I was thrilled. But when Mimi-chan distributed her gifts, she told me that I'd have to wait for mine. She winked, and it was the most mischievous expression, I felt my knees go watery. Thank god I was sitting down!
I won't lie, I was jittery about it during school and my club. I'll have to ask Koushiro-kun and Eimi-chan for their notes, so I can see if I missed anything. Just the memory of that wink makes my heart jump. This has to be bad for my nerves...
That afternoon, Mom opened my bedroom door while I was studying and let Mimi-chan in. Even though I was half expecting her, I kind of panicked. She was wearing the cutest red dress and carrying a huge cake holder. She held it out to me and cried, "Happy Valentine's Day!"
I stumbled forward to take the cake, since it looked heavy. She smiled and said, "I made you something special to thank you for all of your help. Tell me what you think of it, okay? It's a new Mimi recipe!"
As shocked and happy as I was, I still managed to feel a little wary. I've seen what can happen when Mimi-chan gets creative in the kitchen. I tried to than her, but of course I got tongue tied. She looked at me for a few seconds, and I thought she was going to start teasing me. But her smile was kind of... different. Not playful.
Suddenly, she put her hand on my shoulder, stood on her toes, and kissed my cheek. Then she giggled, turned towards the door with the perfect skirt twirl, said goodbye, and left.
I don't even know if I managed to say goodbye to her. Everything kind of shut down, and at last I realized that I had food, and food belongs in the kitchen. So I shambled over there and put it on the counter.
My parents and Shin were home, and they crowded me, asking about what I got and teasing me about Mimi-chan. I opened the cake carrier and took off the lid. The scent of chocolate slammed into me, along with a bunch of undertones that I couldn't place, and that made me nervous.
My family was stunned, and I guess I can't blame them. The cake was enormous, and of course they all know Mimi-chan by now. How could I go from no chocolate one year to three presents from classmates, with one of those being this massive cake?!
Shin said he wanted a piece, and I almost told him no. I wanted to keep it to myself- when have I ever gotten something like this? But obviously I'd go into diabetic shock if I tried to eat the whole thing. I cut the cake and was alarmed to see that different sections of the cake had different types of frosting and garnishing, although the outer icing was all chocolate. But like I said, I knew I would need help eating the cake, so... I handed out slices without mentioning anything.
At first, everyone said it was good. But eventually, Shin made a choking sound, and his face went all pinched in, like he had eaten something sour. I asked him what was wrong, and he gasped, "It's umeboshi!"
Umeboshi. Mimi-chan put pickled salt plums in the cake. Made icing out of it, somehow, in fact. It was so ridiculous, so random, so like her... I completely lost it laughing. "What does yours taste like, then?" he asked. "Here, where the icing is red between layers."
That shut me up. But what could I do? I knew Mimi-chan would ask if I liked it, so there was no choice. I ate a piece of red icing and cake. The first thing that hit me was a punch of saltiness, followed by heat and the sweet bitterness of dark chocolate. I coughed and dove for my water cup.
"Salt and jalapenos," I gasped. Mom giggled, but Shin and Dad asked for a bite. And you know, it was good! The flavor profile was really strong and complex. It definitely helps to have a warning, though. Otherwise, your taste buds short circuit.
My parents ended up with a more conventional raspberry flavor. The umeboshi slice wasn't too good. I like the sour saltiness of umeboshi in small doses, but it didn't pair well with the cake. But the jalapeno section is shockingly good. I told Mimi-chan about our reactions, and apparently she wants to try making jalapeno chocolates.
I'll be honest, I really don't know what to make of Mimi-chan's gift. It was way bigger than what she gave the others, but I have spent a lot of time tutoring her. And while the kiss was a lot by Japanese standards, that sort of thing is more common in the states. I'm trying not to torture myself with picking it apart. I just want to be happy about it.
But I probably should do something to counteract my sugar intake recently... Maybe I should jog…
16/02/16
Tuesday
Yagami Taichi
I told you this could be my year!
When Momoe-chan handed out her gifts for the team on Saturday, she gave everyone a little box of homemade chocolates. I got cupcakes. Yes, multiple cupcakes. Packaged in a heart-shaped box.
I wish she hadn't given it to me in front of everyone, but I guess Momoe-chan is upfront like that. My teammates teased me about it, but... Hey, who's embarrassed by getting a honmei gift from a cute girl? They're just jealous.
Geez, I was already doing really well. Hikari and Mom gave me nice gifts, and I got something from Sora-chan, Eimi-chan, and Mimi-chan. Haha, I'll finally have enough to eat for a few days! I'm usually hungry all the damned time.
Anyway, I guess I have to think about how I feel about Momoe-chan. She didn't say anything in particular, but I'm pretty sure that counts as a confession. I've never thought about her like that before, but she's cute, nice, she likes sports, and then there's those legs... Maybe I should ask her out, you know, just something casual. See how it goes. I think it would at least be fun for both of us, and there might be something there.
I was feeling pretty damned good until I ran into Yamato and his brother on the way home. They each had two enormous bags stuffed with presents! What the hell! Why would you pile more stuff onto a guy who has so many girls after him? I don't get it.
But I saw Hikari's gift to Takeru on top of one of his piles. Mine is still bigger, so try harder, kid. Onii-chan wins this round.
I hope I do this well next year, too! But what should I do for White Day?
February 17th, 2016
Wednesday
Anami Eimi
Dear Kitty,
It's been days, and I'm still trying to process everything. I feel like my whole world shifted, and I haven't figured out the new configuration yet.
I like Koushiro-kun. It's the only interpretation that makes sense. And he might like me, too. That's what he said on Saturday, more or less, and lately he's been paying more attention to me, initiating on his own, and we held hands under the table at the study group the other day, and I must have done it by accident, but he didn't move away, and, and-
It's kind of a big deal, okay? To me. I think it is. And, uh... Yeah, that's all my brain is giving me right now, because that's all it's been able to do since Saturday. So... bye.
Yours,
Eimi
16/02/18
Thursday
Ishida Yamato
I cannot believe the number of chocolates I received on Saturday. The apartment smells like a candy store. Dad and I don't even like sweets that much...
We celebrated Valentine's Day at school on Saturday, and band practice got overrun by girls bringing The Teenage Wolves gifts. I've gotten treats on Valentine's Day before, including honmei, but this... I think nearly half the girls in the school showed up to drop something off for at least one of the four of us. There was a line out the club room door. I think we were all feeling pretty damned pleased with ourselves until Eimi pointed out that we have to reciprocate on White Day.
We decided to hold an event with treats and new music for the girls, but I'm already wondering how much of the baking will be left up to Eimi and me. I hope I can get the whole band to help. Maybe we can use the home ec lab... We'll need a lot of prep space.
Sora and I met up with Takeru on the way home to give him presents for him and Mom. I was shocked to see that he had just as much chocolate as I did! He's not even in a band! He's a member of the basketball team. That's not normally something girls go crazy over, is it? Dear God. Maybe I should recruit him for my band...
Apparently Hikari gave him jelly beans and handmade chocolate. Sora was there, so I couldn't say it then, but I called to tell him to make sure that Hikari isn't intimidated by all of the other gifts he received. I hope he listened. Although he's younger than me, he'd rather give advice than take it.
I wasn't expecting anything from Mom, but Takeru gave me chocolates from her. It's been a long time, but I think she's changed the recipe from years ago. The taste was fuller and more bitter. She called to thank me for the macarons.
I spent Sunday with Sora. We spent the morning shopping and looking at fashion sites, trying to get ideas for Teenage Wolves outfits. Afterward, we played tennis. I was surprised by how intense the game is. I've seen the players moving so much and so quickly, but I didn't realize how hard it really is until I tried it. There's a lot of mental demand, too. There's hand-eye coordination to hit the ball, but your whole body needs to anticipate where the ball will be and start moving in an instant.
It was tough, especially when there was so much temptation to look at Sora. God, I love her in tennis skirts, even with the leggings for cold weather. Especially with them. It doesn't matter. She's so beautiful, and I love her focused expression on the court.
I want to keep practicing with her. Obviously there are… perks, but I haven't put enough time into fitness in general. I can't nag Takeru about his diet and habits if I'm not exercising.
After tennis, I invited her to my place. I have some French in my background, and I wanted to be very clear about what Sora means to me after all of those gifts from Saturday. I figured, why not celebrate Valentine's Day as a European man would?
I did some research and did the whole thing: sweets, roses, candles, music, and a home-cooked meal. Sora's not the type to squeal or swoon, but I think it went over really well.
I wanted to do all of the cooking, but she asked to help, and I figured it's best to let the lady do as she pleases. I haven't cooked with anyone since I lived with Mom. It's weird how much I enjoyed a mundane task with Sora there. Teasing her, making excuses to touch her, just talking to her and hearing her voice... I wish she could always be around. I don't dislike being alone- in fact, it's preferable to being with most people- but with her... I guess this is why people like having other people around.
I wonder why Sora's an exception? Before her, I was happy to keep my distance from everyone except my nuclear family. Lately I've made a few more friends, and I do like them. But if I had to part with them, it wouldn't kill me.
Sora's different. Why? I never thought anyone would approach being as important to me as Takeru is, and of course it's different with Sora, but... Here we are. I could sit here and list her positive traits, but I could make other lists for other people. There's still a sense that Sora is more. Almost other, but also like me. And when you add how it feels to kiss her until I can't think- Well, I should probably leave it at that.
I wonder what we should do for White Day? I tried to dance with her on Sunday, but we don't know much about it. Maybe I should sign us up for a dancing class? I've never been interested in dancing, but that was before I had Sora to partner with.
I could definitely get into learning how to move with her.
16/02/19
Friday
Tachikawa Mimi
Dear Diary,
I had a great time delivering Jyou's present on Saturday! He went all slack jawed when he saw my gift, and I couldn't help myself. I kissed his cheek, and he turned so red in an instant! It was like someone spilled red paint on his face, omg, toooooo cuuuuute!
I delivered the cake in person because it was too big to carry at school, but also because it gave me a chance to see his bedroom. I checked, but I didn't see any bags or boxes in there besides the ones from Sora-chan and Eimi-chan, so I don't think he got other presents. Go, Detective Mimi!
I don't like to think about this stuff too much, but I keep remembering what Sora-chan told me about hurting Jyou. I would never! But I can't help liking the way he fusses over me. Any girl would! I'm not sure if that means I like him.
I've definitely been more attracted to other guys. For example, I went with Sora-chan to watch when she brought some prototype clothing to a Teenage Wolves practice to check the sizes. Those boys looked amazing! Sora-chan really knows how to play up their natural vibes, and she had Yamato-kun looking particularly drool-worthy.
I don't really feel that when I look at Jyou. I mean, he's tall. That's nice. And his body shape is good, broad in the shoulders and narrow through the hips. But he doesn't have Taichi-kun's athletic definition or Yamato-kun's good looks and presence. He's not bad looking at all, although I hope for his sake that he grows out of his gawky, lanky stage.
I guess back in the states, I kind of went for the bad boys. Cool, tough, popular, handsome, edgy, you know. But... Well, maybe that's how my problems with rumors got started. I don't know. I've been kind of turned off towards dating since then, anyway.
But if I really think about it, I never respected anyone I dated the way I respect him. Really, I don't know if I've respected any boy my age the way I respect him. He's nice, patient, smart, caring, and mature. He's definitely wound too tight, though! Would I even have fun with him? But he makes studying almost not bad...
But what's the point of thinking about this stuff? If there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. I'm starting to sound like Eimi-chan, going back and forth like this!
Oh, speaking of, I think there's something going on between her and Koushiro-kun, finally! I haven't gotten much out of her yet, but I'm a girl! I know these things! I should text her and see if I can get her to talk!
XOXOXO,
Mimi
16/02/20
Saturday
Takenouchi Sora
I've been designing clothes for Yamato's band. I had no idea I'd enjoy men's fashion this much! I only hope it isn't because of the quality of my models. The Teenage Wolves are a good looking bunch, and outfitting them in rock band clothing has been so fun!
I wonder if I could convince them to model street clothing designs for my site? I don't think I'd ever be without a wait list if they did. Just Yamato and Takeru-kun would probably be enough, though. I had no idea he was so popular, but he got just as much chocolate as Yamato on Valentine's Day. The more I get to know Takeru-kun, the more I wonder how Yamato's stayed sane so far. Takeru-kun's really something else.
Dad called to thank me for his chocolates. Mom must have mentioned Yamato to him, because he asked about him. I was a little embarrassed on on-the-spot, because I'm his little girl. I was afraid he'd feel put out by me having a special boy in my life, especially since I so rarely see Dad. I ended up rambling about Yamato for a while, probably saying a lot more than I should have out of nerves.
In the end, Dad told me to be careful, but he said that he trusts me. I really wish he could meet Yamato, so that he'll know he doesn't have to worry.
I was playing tennis with Mom the other day, and I was shocked when she challenged me to a contest! She said the loser of our match would have to make dinner. I agreed, mostly to see what would happen. I had no idea Mom was so good at tennis. She played harder than she has with me so far, and I had to go all out. I wonder if this was her way of letting me know that I was going too easy on her? We're playing together so that I can improve, so it's no good if I hold back because I think she can't keep up with me.
I won, but just barely. I said that we should shop and cook together, since Yamato taught me that it's more fun than cooking alone. And I'm grateful to Mom for helping me with tennis, even if I wish she would directly tell me to play harder.
Maybe moms want their kids to step up on their own? I wish I understood her better, but I'm glad that I've made progress.
16.02.21
Sunday
Izumi Koushiro
I believe I might have inadvertently set something in motion.
My school celebrated Valentine's Day last Saturday. Eimi-san distributed her treats during homeroom, but I knew I would be unable to explain my gift at all, let alone in front of others. When she approached me, I requested a meeting in the computer lab after my club meeting to spare myself the embarrassment of publicly flubbing the exchange.
Despite time spent systematically searching for an acceptable explanation for my motive in giving her a gift, I had nothing ready. My plan was to give her the chocolates and hope she didn't ask. Brilliant, I know, but I conceived of no better option.
As unskilled as I am at reading social cues, I knew Eimi-san was unsettled as soon as she entered the computer lab. Her color was high, and she was twitchy, which was starkly at odds with her typical comfortable behavior around me. This confirmed my fear that I might be unable to restrict the encounter to strictly platonic exchanges. I admit that my nerves were engaged, along with some other emotion strangely akin to excitement.
There was a horrible silence as we faced each other holding our gifts. I began to falter, even before an exchange of greetings or... any sort of acknowledgment of one another, really. I froze up, and Eimi-san was forced to move the encounter along.
I've never seen her quite like that before, crimson and jittery. Her skin is so pale, it has a nearly translucent quality, and the flushing was so visible. The effect was... charming? Attractive? Endearing? Regardless of how I categorize it, those odd feelings further incapacitated me.
Eimi offered me her gift and began to babble in English. My understanding is that defaulting to one's mother language is a sign of emotional strain, and I wondered if I had placed to much pressure on her with my request for a private meeting.
As I opened the package, she said that Mimi-san told her it was important to explain a Valentine's Gift. That was a bit of subterfuge on Mimi-san's part that I (somewhat uncharitably, I fear) neglected to correct. With much stuttering and staring anywhere but at me, she told me that she likes, admires, and respects me.
Such an admission can hardly fail to please, especially when delivered so earnestly. Although I was uncomfortable, I couldn't help but smile. Then I found that her gift was chocolate-covered strawberries, in contrast to the cookies she gave everyone else.
Somehow, this reinforced all of the times when Eimi-san has paid me particular care and attention, and I experienced a swelling sensation shooting from my chest to my throat. It was hard to think, and harder still to speak. I'm afraid I can't exactly recall the rest of our conversation. It was veiled to me even at the time, half drowned out by a vexing distortion of my senses.
I did manage to register that we're both drawn to one another, and that this pull confuses and disorients us. And when something puzzles me, I can't help but investigate. I asked her to provide me with more data, and her response of blushing and squeaking was extremely satisfying.
I've been making an effort to engage her more frequently since then, and while these unfamiliar emotions strain me, I can't deny that I've been enjoying myself. I'm suddenly pleased to attend classes, rather than enduring school when I'd rather be programming at home. And if my mother's smiles and gently teasing questions are any indication, the difference is noticeable.
While we were studying at Jyou-san's apartment the other day, Eimi-san's hand brushed me under the kotatsu. I truly doubt she noticed her hand closing around mine; she was focused on a math problem. I faltered over how to react for so long that I lost the option of backing out smoothly. I felt the moment when she realized what had happened; she twitched, glanced at me, colored, and tightened her grip. She didn't release me for a long interval. Generally, I would strongly prefer not be touched, but in Eimi-san's case... I've found contact from her is simultaneously stimulating and comforting. In a word, enjoyable, to the point where I've wondered if more contact might yield a stronger reaction.
I still have no idea how to categorize our relationship. I'm no longer sure if that matters. Whatever we are, it's pleasant and worth pursuing. My goal now is to try to still my mind and enjoy her company, but I fear that I remain awkward. It's fortunate and comforting that she doesn't seem to mind.
I only wish I could help her relax. This seems to be as intimidating to her as it is to me, and her emotions clearly run stronger than mine. I wish I knew how to open a discussion about it with her, but I can't begin to conceive of what to say.
It's infuriating how something that comes so naturally to some people is nearly impossible for others.
Author's Notes: There are four chapter left of Voices! Please stick around and tell me what you think :) Thanks for reading!