Author's Note: And here we are at the second to last episode of season three. It's probably one of the most intense episodes I've ever written, but that's probably because of the 'race' to the million thing. Anyway, read on to see who's guaranteed a spot in the Final Two
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And to answer some reviews:
That British Guy: Well read on and see if you're right.
Derick Lindsey: It was a mini challenge I gave myself after a reviewer suggested it. I honestly never considered Sugar cutting Harold's rap. I did however at one point consider him not doing it. Out of curiosity, what animal were you thinking for Mal because all I could think was 'deer because Mike'. and Harold got second because his lei actually made it on the raft. I'm also glad you like the minor extension to the first song, I was worried it might be a tad repetitive. And I won't go into specifics about Scarlett's offer to Matthew other than she stroked his ego. But it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
StarHeart Specials:Thanks! Well I can definitely say you've got the right pair in your review! And don't worry about the bad jokes, I make them a lot myself.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! I can't believe it either, or the fact I've managed to turn Scarlett into a fan-favorite.
Remaining Competitors:
Boys: Matthew, Mike
Girls: Scarlett
Today they'll have to somehow make their way from Drumheller to Tijuana to Hawaii, and it's sure to be an adventure of a lifetime. Enjoy!
Episode 25: Planes, Trains, and Hot Air Mobiles
"Last time, on Total Drama World Tour!" Chris opened as the plane icon was shown flying northward from Rapa Nui to Alberta, Canada on the season's world map, and the jumbo jet itself was shown blowing past a precariously-balanced boulder and knocking it off its perch. "Alberta! It'll blow you away!" The barren pit in Drumheller they'd visited was shown, as was Matthew sitting in the electric chair. "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!" the host asked angrily over a clip of the plane exploding in the distance.
"Well first, Matthew decided it would be in his best interest to side with Mal," the hipster was shown talking with the troublemaker in first class, then shuddering in the confessional, "and Mal stuck with his plan of blowing Sierra and Scarlett apart." Both the hipster and the troublemaker were talking to Sierra as she dug. "But their plans imploded when the girls became closer than ever," Scarlett and Sierra were shown talking as they dug for oil barrels, "and together they tried to get the boys to turn on each other." Sierra was shown trying to convince Matthew to vote for Mal, then Scarlett was shown interrupting Matthew's confessional.
"And Matthew once again showed his weasely nature by exploding his alliance with Mal to vote him off," the hipster was shown taunting Mal, followed by the third and final vote against him being read, "and the dude sooo would've been a goner. Except Sierra," the super-fan was shown trying and failing to catch the flaming marshmallow she'd accidentally flung towards a pool of oil, "demolished my plane!" The host was shown standing in the moonlit wreckage of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet, bringing an end to the recap montage.
"Did I mention we've got no ride now?" Chris asked, he and Chef now sitting in the remains of the cockpit in their usual piloting outfits, the sun now shining overhead. As the host spoke, Chef grabbed the control stick, looked shocked as it immediately detached, and threw it away with wide eyes. "HMM? BECAUSE SIERRA BLEW IT UP?!" Chris continued angrily, slamming his hands down on the broken console and standing up towards the camera.
He sat back down, pulled out a paper bag, and started to breath into it. After a few seconds he calmed down enough to stop hyperventilating, letting go of the bag and looking back at the camera. "Our Final Three are jetting to Hawaii...," he said as the series's capstone music began to play, "without a jet, so...get set for some other kind of race to the million, right here on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
The camera zoomed out as always, showing the morning sun over the wreckage of the plane that was now stranded in Drumheller, Alberta. The front part of the fuselage, which had been intact enough for Chris and Chef to use the cockpit, promptly fell off whatever had been supporting it leading to a pained "Ouch!" from the host.
XXXXX
[The sequence opens with a tilted shot of a stagelight swinging up and turning on in front of an airport control tower, followed by another light popping out of an overhead compartment along with a pair of oxygen masks; then a camera forcibly ejecting a raccoon from a wing engine and another camera bursting out of a suitcase, sending undergarments flying. A pair of white-skinned arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, which then flies down the aisle of first class seats. It passes a drink cart, then forces Chris to jump to the side as the camera flies into the cockpit.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine
[Chef is piloting the plane in the cockpit, bobbleheads of himself and the host sitting on the control panel. For a single frame he turns his head and glares at the camera before it passes through the windshield and out onto the runway, the silhouette of the CN Tower visible in the distance as the camera flies over and through several baggage carts.]
You guys are on my mind
[Fading through the whiteness of a baggage cart, the camera emerges close to the CN Tower. The camera flies up along it, the sun shining bright at its peak. The scene arcs downward towards a lake, and speeds forward into it with a splash.]
You asked me what I wanted to be
[The bubbles from the splash fade to show Noah underwater in his bathing suit, with crossed arms and a scowl on his face. He does nothing to stop himself from sinking, and the camera pans up to the surface.]
And now I think the answer is plain to see
[On the roof of the cabin of a boat woven from reeds, Scarlett is calmly looking down and writing something on a notepad.]
I wanna be...famous
[The camera pans down and to the right to where Sierra and Leshawna are having a slap fight as crocodiles leap out of the water on either side and snap their jaws. The boat leaves the screen, and on 'be' one of the reptiles winces; the camera moves back to the boat, revealing that it had crashed into an inflatable raft which Harold on. The raft begins to sink, and while Harold sinks the two girls reach for him at the same time, only to end up in another slap fight.]
I wanna live close to the sun
[The camera flashes to the Statue of Liberty, immediately cutting to the top of its head as Sky helps Victor climb to the top. He gives her a grateful smile.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won
[The couple stops with shock on their faces as Mike, sporting a dark grin and hair over one of his baggy eyes, suddenly runs past, pushing a terrified Duncan in a baby carriage. The punk opens his mouth in alarm as the comedian stops and launches the carriage straight into Staci, who had gotten down on all fours in their path. The carriage flips over, sending Duncan over the edge of the statue.]
Everything to prove
[The camera quick-pans to Matthew with a sneer on his face in a frozen setting. Duncan lands on the boy and knocks him down. The punk smirks at the hipster, who sends him a hate-filled glare.]
Nothin' in my way
I'll get there one day
[Another pan to the right shows Heather with a compact mirror in her hand and doing her make-up. Her eyes widen in alarm as she spots something in the reflection, and then she runs away. The camera pans to a polar bear glaring at the queen bee... which reveals itself to be Kitsune wearing a costume when the goofball takes of the head to giggle to herself.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous
[The camera zooms out to show a baby seal snarling at the goofball, who gives it a confused look until it attacks her and causes her to run away. The camera zooms in on the glacial background, and flashes over to Tyler and Alejandro surfing a rather large wave. The jock tries to double-point to the camera but he crashes into the charmer, sending both into the water.]
(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[Malcolm and Zoey were next, taking over-exaggerated steps along a certain British crosswalk as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet suddenly flew down the road, forcing both teens to duck in terror as the plane blew cars and trees past them. The scene changes again, now showing the entire cast in a human pyramid on top of the jet wearing parachute packs, singing the lyrics, and kicking their legs to the beat. On bottom are Alejandro, Sierra, Harold, Leshawna, Staci, and Malcolm. The second row consists of Heather, Scarlett, Zoey, Sky, and Victor. The third row is Noah, Matthew, Tyler, and Kitsune; while on top are Mike, looking like himself again, and Duncan.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The jet flies right past Big Ben, causing one face of its clock to spring off; the jet flies over the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, startling a very French mime into dropping a croissant; the jet flies past a rock balancing on a stone pillar, causing the rock to fall off and land in front of the camera with a cloud of dust.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The dust clears to show Mike and Duncan in close-up on top of the human pyramid, with the punk suspiciously eyeing the comedian. The camera then pans down to Sky and Victor as they smile at each other, then down again to Malcolm as a bird flies into his face, causing him to frown.]
[The lyrics end as the scene cuts to Chef Hatchet in the cockpit, looking above him with a scowl on his face. A guitar is strummed as the hulking pilot looks forward and turns the plane sharply to the left, and the last few whistling notes play as, back outside, the cast falls through the open air. Most soon deploy their parachutes and float down safely, the camera panning down as Matthew and Sierra arrive to show the majority of the cast lined up and smiling at the camera. The hipster lands on the far left end; to the right are Leshawna, Harold, Noah, Zoey, Mike, Sky, Victor, Scarlett, Heather, Duncan, Alejandro, and Sierra. Malcolm is sitting on his butt in front of Sky and Victor, the couple looking at the boy in concern. Tyler had landed on his stomach in front of Matthew, Leshawna, and Harold, and Kitsune had landed on her butt next to him in front of Noah, giving the camera a peace-sign. The jet speeds in for a landing behind them as the song ends, the logo for 'Total Drama World Tour' on its side. Only then does Staci finally land flat on her face in the middle of the group, causing everybody to avert their eyes from the camera and look down at her with surprise.]
XXXXX
"The hot tub with my name spelled out in Italian tiles...gone...," Chris muttered despairingly, the episode opening on a pan across the wreckage of the plane to where the host stood with Matthew and Mal near the remains of last night's campfire pit. "My monogrammed sneakers!...gone...," he added, looking at the two uncaring villains. "My custom-calibrated stubble-trimmer," Mal crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow and Matthew put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes, "gone..."
"Can we get back to the game now?" Matthew suggested.
"For once, I agree with Matthew," Mal chimed in.
"As usual," Chris turned to them, "you two are thinking of nothing but yourselves."
He looked to the side as Scarlett grunted with effort, then pushed a large sheet of broken metal away from the wreckage. "Excuse me, but could somebody help me with this?" she asked the others.
"What about the bigger humanitarian crisis?" Chris asked the two villains. "How am I supposed to keep this face fresh," he pointed at his stubbled visage, "without my hyperbolic chamber?"
With another grunt of effort, Scarlett leaned down and lifted a bald and scuffed Sierra out of the wreckage on her back, dragging her feet along the ground. "Wow, thanks," Sierra said woozily. "Looks like you have to help me for once."
"Why were you even in there?" Scarlett asked as she dragged the girl away from the jet's remains.
"I dunno," Sierra shrugged. "I guess I rolled around a lot in my sleep last night, and was just in the wrong place when some more stuff fell."
"I suppose that's plausible," Scarlett said, pausing a few seconds before following up with "Well, are you okay?"
"Yeah, totally!" Sierra answered enthusiastically. "I mean, y'know, except for my left wrist, right earlobe, scalp and both ankles, which are kinda throbbing with every step you take," she added with a brief glare. "But other than that-"
Scarlett groaned, then collapsed under Sierra's weight.
XXX
"Now that Sierra's out of the game," Matthew mused in the remains of the restroom confessional, its camera still surprisingly functional, "I can leverage both Scarlett and Mal against each other to catapult myself to the finale. Which should be easy considering how much they hate each other. I'll start with Scarlett."
XXX
The static cut away to show the camera focused on a wheelchair, pushed by a just-out-of-frame Matthew. "Here," he said as he reached Scarlett and Sierra and the shot zoomed out, "use this." He lifted the super-fan into the wheelchair, and even brushed a bit of dirt off of her shirt.
"Uhh, thanks," Sierra said warily.
"That's...unexpectedly considerate of you," Scarlett added suspiciously.
"Don't mention it," Matthew told them, turning to walk away.
The shot cut to the wreckage and Chef pushed a giant metal box out into the open, earning an excited look from Chris. "Hey! My emergency kit! We're saved!" he declared, running towards the giant box with a hearty laugh. "That's right, kids," he turned back with a grin, "get ready for surf, sun, and beauties in grass skirts, we're going to Hawaii!" He did a few short hula moves as the Final Three cheered.
"I know," Chris said as he walked over to Chef, "best host ever! Never doubt me." It was then that Chef pulled on the rope he'd been holding, causing the walls of the metal box to fall away and reveal the small red helicopter inside.
The four teens moved closer, and Mal was the first to speak. "That's a two-seater."
"That it is!" Chris replied happily. "Chef flies, I supervise."
"And we?" Mal followed up.
"Will be competing to land on the big island first, using only your wits, and whatever you find out here," Chris explained.
"But we're miles from any sort of civilization!" Scarlett complained.
"True," the host told her, "so check these fancy GPSes I'm generously giving you!" he said as he took a trio of walkie-talkies and GPS devices from the helicopter and tossed one each to each finalist.
Matthew raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the GPS; the screen showed a single yellow dot and nothing else around. "Middle of Nowhere, Alberta," he read before looking up and scoffing. "What do you know? It works."
"Set 'em for Tijuana Beach," Chris told them. "It's right on the Mexican border. Now move it!" he commanded as the helicopter started up behind him. "Go! Go! Go!"
Mal, Matthew, and Scarlett frantically entered the destination into their devices, and the shot moved over to a confused Sierra. "Wait, what about me?" she asked the host.
"Make like you took the Drop of Shame," Chris answered angrily, standing in the doorway of the hovering helicopter, "and figure it out yourself!"
Sierra gaped, then scowled.
XXX
"Okay Mom," Sierra said in the ruined confessional, still in her wheelchair, "I know how hard it is to end a crush, but he's a total jerkface! When I get home, the Chris McLean Museum-slash- guest room better be, destroyed!"
XXX
"Don't worry!" Chris called out to the Final Three, "you're all totally gonna make it!" The helicopter finally took off, leaving the four teens to watch in stunned silence for a few seconds.
Scarlett was the first to make a move, turning and heading back into the wreckage with Sierra right behind her. "If Matthew was able to find a wheelchair in the wreckage," she reasoned, "then maybe we can find something to help us get to Tijuana."
"Sounds great!" Sierra told her. "And...wait, did you say 'we'?"
"Well, yes," Scarlett replied, looking back over a large piece of sheet metal. "I'm not going to leave you out here, not after everything we've been through together. I mean, it can't be too much harder to get two people to Mexico instead of one, right?"
Sierra stared at her for a second, then smiled. "Makes sense to me!" Scarlett smiled as well, and the two went back into the wreckage.
The camera cut to Mal and Matthew, watching nearby. "So, is this the part where we team up to make the finale?" Matthew asked.
"No," Mal answered coolly. "Why would you think that?"
"Well we've been allied since the Amazon," Matthew explained. "Remember, all those votes we made together?"
Mal snorted in contempt. "I remember you attempting to betray me several times when you thought is suited you," he replied. "Last night's attempt is especially clear."
"Oh that?" Matthew asked with a nervous smile, rubbing his arm awkwardly. "Well sometimes it's just in my best interest, that's how the game works. I never meant it personally."
"I know you didn't," Mal told him. "You're a coward Matthew, and a weasel. The only reason I kept you around was because I needed your vote. But now I don't, and this is where we part ways."
"Wait! You don't want me to help you get rid of Scarlett?" Matthew asked in an almost desperate tone.
"So you can use that to distract me into knocking me out of the game?" Mal asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well," the hipster started pitifully. "I'm not opposed to it happening, but if it does I-"
"You're lucky you made it this far," Mal told him. "I'm going to Hawaii, and I suggest you don't get in my way," he threatened. "Otherwise your luck might run out," he finished before spinning on his heel and walking away.
Matthew watched him walk for a few seconds, then paled.
XXX
"There goes that plan," he told the confessional.
XXX
"And with that," Mal explained in the ruin restroom, "I'm finally done with that little twerp. He's not going anywhere fast without my help, which means my only competition left is Scarlett. Beating her's gonna be like getting gum off my shoe, a little stick but oh so satisfying."
XXX
"Well if that's how you're gonna be," Matthew said into his walkie talkie, "then good luck winning without my help!"
"I don't need luck," Mal retorted, the radio feed cutting off before Matthew had the chance to respond.
"Fine," Matthew said. "He was only holding me back anyway. Now I'm the only one who's making it to that million dollars. As soon as I find a way to get there..." He looked around a bit, then started walking in the same direction Mal had gone.
The scene moved to the wreckage of the first class cabin, where Scarlett and Sierra were searching through the rubble.
"Let's see now..." the brainiac said before pulling out a large inflatable raft...with a hole in it. "No, that won't work," she said, putting it down. "Oh, this might!" she said, pulling out a rusty bicycle...that promptly lost its front wheel. "...or not," she said. She tossed the broken bike away, then sighed sadly. "I don't see anything here that will get us to Hawaii," she said as she walked past Sierra.
"I know," the super-fan said. "All I could find was a parachute, a meal tray, and this seat belt!" she held up the last item she listed.
Scarlett's eyes widened in realization. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?!"
"Think of what?" Sierra said, the seat belt now wrapped around her head.
Another scene change took the focus to a large rock formation as Mal hauled himself up from behind it to get a better look. He smirked and chuckled to himself as he looked down at the other side of the formation. "Perfect." The perspective moved over his shoulder to show the plane's wreckage, and more importantly two interns with a caged baby panda outside a truck. The camera zoomed in as the interns picked up the cage and loaded it onto the truck.
Mal dropped back down behind the rock, and was heard running off.
\
The camera cut to the blazing midday sun, then panned down onto Matthew. The hipster was walking through the cactus-filled desert with his eyes locked on to his GPS, until he suddenly tripped and fell over something.
"Gah!" he said, the camera moving down to show him lying on train tracks. "What kind of idiot leaves train tracks in the middle of nowhere?"
He looked to his right, and spotted a building and windmill next to the tracks off in the distance. "Train tracks..." he repeated thoughtfully before grinning in excitement.
\
The scene flashed to a head-on view of the truck, a walkie-talkie switching on inside it. "Attention 'competitors'," Mal announced, the shot cutting inside to show a monkey, baby panda, baby seal, and book-reading bear sitting in cages listening to the nearby troublemaker talk, "As of right now, I'm heading south at 90 kilometers per hour. In other words, winning."
Just as he ended his message, a caged sasquatch behind him reached out and pulled him into a kiss. He immediately pushed away and recoiled in disgust, but lost his balance as he backed up and tripped into an open crate...the lid of which promptly closed on top of him.
"When I get out of here!" he said over the walkie-talkie.
The camera cut back outside as he made his declaration, showing the trucking driving away and honking its horn.
\
Another flash took the focus to Chris and Chef in the helicopter, the camera quickly cutting in for a close-up of the host's master GPS device. It showed three dots moving along a simple roadmap: a yellow dot unmoving in the upper right; a blue dot on the road approaching it, and a red dot further behind unmoving on the same road.
"Matthew's ahead but stalled," Chris commented with a gleeful smile over his own walkie-talkie, "and the yeti's new boyfriend is quickly catching up! But Scarlett can't seem to get her butt in gear."
\
The camera flashed to a shot of a deployed parachute, then panned to the right as Scarlett was heard explaining "I just moderate the flow of fuel," as the pan ended on her pulling a lever on an orange fuel barrel, making a small flame appear, "and that causes the balloon to go up or down."
"But you need a basket!" Sierra retorted. "If there was any grass," she said while looking around, "I'd weave you one."
"All that I really need is a chair," Scarlett said thoughtfully. "Preferably one with arms. But all the seats were destroyed in the explosion."
Sierra gave an annoyed look to the camera, then cleared her throat. "I'm sitting in a chair with arms," she said. "Just sit in my lap and you're golden."
Scarlett palmed her face. "Once again, something I should've thought of beforehand."
"Are you sure you're a genius?" Sierra asked playfully. "Now come on!" she patter her lap eagerly. "We've got a beach to get to!"
Scarlett smiled. "Then let's go!"
\
Whoops and hollers of excitement were heard as the footage skipped forward, showing the makeshift hot air balloon in flight tied to the wheelchair. Sierra was sitting in the chair, with Scarlett in her lap and holding her walkie-talkie.
"Attention boys!" she said into it. "This is the girl power dream team, and I'd like to announce that we are now airborne!" She and Sierra laughed again, then high-fived as the balloon ascended off-camera.
\
"Airborne?" Matthew repeated, the scene cutting to him walking down the aisle of a train's passenger car and stopping in front of a young white woman dressed in black typing on a laptop. "Whatever, I'm still gonna win," the hipster muttered as he sat down in the seat opposite the woman in black. "What?" Matthew asked the woman upon noticing her stare, prompting the woman in black to roll her eyes and return to her work.
"Idiot...," Matthew muttered, sitting at the booth and grabbing a newspaper that was on the table.
The camera moved to the window behind them, showing a certain truck driving past. Cutting outside, the truck was shown dumping its cages and crates into a cargo car of the train, and Mal could be heard yelling in alarm from his wooden prison.
"Update time, kids!" Chris said over his walkie-talkie as the scene cut back to the helicopter. "Mal has gotten awful close to Matthew, so its only a matter of time before they find each other. Fun, right?"
Back down below, the train let out a burst of steam and started moving. It blew its whistle, and the scene cut back to the car Matthew was in, now looking up and down the aisle with narrow eyes.
"Hello, passengers!" an unfamiliar male voice came over the train's intercom system, immediately gaining Matthew's attention. "And welcome to this non-stop trip to Mexico!"
"Hah!" the hipster cheered. "My brain is better than everybody's!"
The woman in black gave him a questioning look, to which Matthew angrily replied "What? It is!" The woman in black wasn't impressed.
Back outside again the camera zoomed in on a boxcar, then cut inside to show the caged Total Drama animals... and the smaller wooden crate that Mal promptly and finally burst out of. "Finally," he groaned as he took in a breath of fresh air; kissy faces from the nearby sasquatch earned another groan and a quick spit and mouth-wiping.
"Now to make sure Matthew's trip ends here," he declared, standing up and stepping out of the crate. "Wherever here is," he added, looking around the room.
He made his way to a nearby doorway, but stopped upon hearing a dog-like whine from inside another crate. He opened it, and recoiled in shock when Staci and Clone lifted their heads out of the crate and flopped it up onto the side, bags under their eyes and their arms tied behind their backs.
"How did you two get here?" Mal asked in wide-eyed disbelief.
"I don't know," the girl whined, "I think the interns threw us in here while we were sleeping."
Mal smirked. "Well, I think it's time you repaid me for sneaking you all the food on the plane."
"I'll do whatever, just let me out of here!" Staci whined again, prompting Mal to bend over and work on their bonds.
\
A flash took the scene back to Scarlett and Sierra, still sailing through the sky. "Stop giving it so much fuel!" the super-fan said to her companion.
"I've worked out the calculations in my head," the brainiac replied in slight annoyance, "and I'm giving us the exact amount of fuel we need to get to our destination."
"LOOK OUT! Sierra cried in alarm as she pointed ahead of them, and the viewpoint changed to show that they were quickly approaching a certain red helicopter.
Scarlett and Sierra screamed in alarm, then Chris and Chef screamed in the helicopter, then Scarlett and Sierra screamed again, then Chris and Chef, and finally the helicopter swooped under while the balloon ascended, the two airborne groups safely passing each other.
"Uhh, Scarlett?" Chris asked into his walkie talkie.
"Be careful!" the brainiac answered.
"Are you sitting on Sierra's lap?" the host followed up, the helicopter moving to keep pace next to the newly-annoyed girls.
"We only have so much room up here," Scarlett replied.
"Okay, you do remember that we already have two cling-ons named Staci and Clone, right?" Chris continued. "We don't need another one."
"Cling-on?!" Sierra exclaimed in outrage. "Give me that!" she yelled as she tried to snatch the radio from Scarlett.
"Well, you did say we could use whatever we found back at the crash site," Scarlett smugly told him.
Chef nodded, and Chris smirked. "Hey, it's your funeral," he told her.
He ended his broadcast there, just as a message came over the helicopter's radio. "Attention, an extreme weather warning has been issued for all aircraft," the voice announced.
Chris shut off the radio, then turned to Chef. "I should probably warn them," the host said, holding a smile for a second or two before he and his assistant burst out in laughter.
\
"Okay," Matthew muttered to himself as he paced back and forth in the passenger car, "once he arrives, I'll say 'Fancy meeting you here! Which one are you anyway?', and then-"
"Tickets, please! Tickets!" an unseen man called out, quickly earning Matthew's attention.
The announcement was answered by a more familiar voice, explaining "My borther and his girlfriend don't like strangers, and don't speak English." The shot cut to Mal, standing before a conductor and holding Staci's arm behind her back in what looked to be a painful position with Clone standing nearby.
"Mata mata, saza," Clone said frantically, pointing at Mal.
"See?" Mal said while Clone sniffed the air, then looked behind the conductor.
"Victor says that Matthew's over there," Staci whispered to the troublemaker. "Just, like, fyi."
The conductor stared at the trio in suspicion, and it was then that Matthew stepped forward; immediately locking eyes with Mal in a horizontal split-screen.
"You!" the two villains exclaimed at the same time.
"Fancy meeting you here!" Matthew added as the split-screen went away. "Which one are you anyway?"
"The one who's gonna take you down!" Mal retorted, looking toward Clone and pointing at the hipster with his free hand. "Get him!"
Clone looked at the hipster then back to Mal, and the troublemaker tightened his grip on the chatterbox's arm. Clone saw the look on Staci's face, then charged after the hipster. Matthew turned and ran away, and Mal chased after the two laughing with Staci following behind.
\
"Come fly with us! Come fly with us!" Sierra was singing as the scene cut back to them in the balloon, "We're on our way to the finals so speed is a must!" she finished.
The camera zoomed in on the two girls as they began another verse. "Come fly with us! Come fly with us!" Scarlett sang happily before turning around and looking alarmed. "If we don't move now we're going to bite the dust!" she screamed as they flew into a very dark and ominous mass of clouds. A bolt of lightning flashed as they disappeared from view, and the shot cut down to the top of the train as Matthew slowly backed up along the roof of a car.
"You wouldn't really push me off a speeding train would you?" he asked as Mal advanced menacingly into the shot.
"Considering I threw Duncan off the plane in Jamaica," the troublemaker said as Matthew reached the edge of his current car and nervously looked over his shoulder at the gap to the next one, "I'm pretty sure I would."
"Well I didn't know that," Matthew said nervously.
"Of course you didn't!" Mal mocked, advancing enough for Matthew to turn and hop to the next car of the train. He nearly lost his balance on the landing, but recovered quickly enough to turn around and proudly face down the troublemaker over the gap. "You're so caught up in your own ego that you couldn't even see that I was using you to get ahead!"
"You weren't using me!" Matthew told him. "You stuck to the shadows and pretended to be someone else! And you couldn't even take out all your targets like I did!"
"I eliminated more people than you!" Mal said. "I waged psychological warfare against half the people on this show and won! You're just a coward who can't see how outclassed he is!"
A clap of thunder echoed ominously, and the sky opened up in a downpour of hail. Matthew, who'd started backing away again, slipped on one of the icy pellets and fell on his butt with a pained grunt.
"Goodbye Matthew," Mal said mockingly. He jumped the gap and did a mid-air triple somersault before landing without slipping or sliding even once. The weather offered up immediate rebuttal, however, in the form of a greater downfall of hail that made both villains wince and flinch with each tiny impact.
\
Up in the clouds, Scarlett and Sierra were also being battered by the elements, screaming as they struggled to keep their balloon aloft in the wind and ice.
\
The hail rained down upon the windshield of the helicopter as well, but it only elicited a hearty laugh from the host and pilot. "Will the game be called on account of deadly weather?" he asked the camera following him. "Will anyone be left to take home the million? Find out right after this break, on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
Lightning flashed right outside the helicopter, earning a panicked yelp from Chris.
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode faded back in to the girls in their balloon, both still screaming in alarm.
"Steer Scarlett!" Sierra cried out.
"What do you think I'm doing?!" Scarlett replied as she tried to steer the balloon.
\
The scene flashed back to the train as the two villains stared each other down amidst the storm.
"So what?" Matthew asked. "You can't beat me, so you'll beat me up?"
"Normally yes. But this time I'm taking a page from your book!" Mal countered, suddenly turning around and dropping into the gap between cars to Matthew's confusion. The camera cut to show him standing outside the door to the forward car stomping his foot on the coupling pin. As he tried to break the pin and set the rear cars free, Matthew suddenly jumped back over the gap and grabbed the edge of the roof, to Mal's shock and displeasure.
"Well I'm not gonna make it easy on you!" Matthew told him as he pulled himself back up to the hail-battered roof.
Mal grit his teeth angrily, then began to climb the rear ladder. "Why didn't I ask more of Staci and Clone?" he muttered as he got back onto the roof as well, and faced down Matthew once again.
The two villains looked up, and the helicopter descended into view hovering above them at pace with the train.
The musical note icon promptly appeared, the two dings signaling the contestants of what was next.
"I pride myself on my timing," Chris said impishly into his walkie-talkie.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Matthew, Mal, Scarlett, and Sierra said as one, the former pair on the left half of a split-screen and the latter pair on the right.
"You know the answer to that by now!" Chris answered with a broad smile on his face.
/\/\/\
[A rock and roll guitar riff kicked things off as the camera zoomed away from the helicopter, then panned down to Matthew and Mal as the song began.]
This season you were a footnote; I only kept you for your vote
[Mal sang, grabbing his foe by the hand and pulling him to his side into a close dancing position. He glared sternly at the hipster as he sang, and Matthew just rolled his eyes in annoyance.]
But now it's time for you to go; And watch me as I win this show!
[He lead them a step to his left, then back to his right, then violently shoved Matthew towards the gap between cars. As he finished the line, he put his hand to his ear to listen to the thud of the hipster's landing.]
Listen up Mal, here's the deal! Between us I'm the one, who's real!
[Matthew began as Mal smugly ran back along the top of the train, the camera cutting to the hipster opening the door to the passenger car, then following along outside the windows as he charged through it.]
You wouldn't still be in the game; If Sierra hadn't blown up the plane
[The camera cut back to Mal as he continued his smug run, reaching the front of the car and jumping across only for Matthew's hands to reach out and grab him by the ankle, causing him to trip and slam down on the roof of the next car. Matthew then climbed up, and finished his line with a mocking grin.]
I'm gonna make it! You can't stop me now, just you try!
[The two villains sang together, a riff leading to an image of a GPS device lowering onto the screen. It showed two parallel train tracks, a blue train icon on the left and a yellow icon on the right which Mal and Matthew promptly jumped onto as they sang at each other, pausing between lines to bob their heads to the beat.]
My fortune's waitin'! It's time for you to say, bye, bye, bye!
[The two 'trains' came along a large rock on the left and a cow skull on the right, which the two villains promptly jumped off to grab and admire while they continued their song. They then turned around and threw their chosen weapons, Mal ducking under the skull and Matthew dodging the rock. With startled looks on their faces, they finished the line and jumped off the bottom of the GPS screen.]
I never thought I'd make it here; After causing all that fear
[Scarlett sang as the scene cut to her, then zooming out to show Sierra listening to her sing.]
But now I'm in the Final Three; Sierra watch out for that tree!
[The two girls bobbed and tilted their heads happily in time with the music, then Scarlett looked forward again and noticed the large tree they were flying right toward. She promptly tugged on the fuel line, but was unable to get the balloon up in time. The camera panned past the balloon as Scarlett was heard saying "No!"]
You're gonna make it! They can't stop you now, let them try!
[Sierra sang as the scene switched to them flying over the GPS screen. Another tree came up in their path, but the super-fan leaned back and they easily swerved around it.]
Your fortune's waitin'! And they can kiss it all, bye-bye-bye!
[As they continued over roads and rivers and the spaces in between, they came across an angry black bear. It growled and swiped at them, but the super-fan leaned forward and they avoided it while Sierra glared at it. At the end of the line, the girls bobbed their heads to the music again.]
You're not a threat, you're clearly beneath me
[The melody became something more tango-like as the scene cut back to Mal and Matthew on top of the train again, in dancing position once more and turning around at the midpoint of the line.]
This has always been my game to win you see!
[As they moved to turn around again, Matthew tripped his 'partner' so that he stumbled, then hip-checked him hard enough to send him reeling off the train entirely, crying out "Noooooo!" as he fell. Matthew let out a sigh of relief under the music.]
I'm gonna make it! They can't stop me now, let them try!
[The view switched back to the GPS screen, showing Matthew smirking on his train while Mal, now on the ground, looked at a black horse standing behind him. Just as he moved off-screen Scarlett and Sierra flew onto it, singing along with Matthew as the two competitors instantly locked eyes. The hipster became nervous, however, as his train suddenly turned and took him off-screen entirely leading the flying duo to bob their heads to the music between lines.]
My fortune's waitin'! It's time for you to say, bye, bye, bye!
[Matthew's departure was short-lived, however, as the train soon brought him back on screen as the next line began, much to Scarlett and Sierra's shock. Even worse for them, the train was moving faster than the balloon, so it soon managed to outpace them and Matthew waved mockingly before passing under a set of power lines and off the GPS screen. The music ended as the scene moved back to the real challenge, the eyes of Sierra still closed from a few final head bobs while Scarlett's were wide open.]
\/\/\/
"Sierra?" Scarlett said in rapidly rising panic as she saw them approaching the power lines. "Sierra?!"
Sierra finally looked ahead again, and the girls screamed.
\
"Update time!" Chris said as the scene flashed to the helicopter, now hovering in a storm-free sky. "According to the latest da-ta, Matthew is the only one still moving towards Hawaii!"
\
The scene flashed back to the inside of a passenger car as Matthew dropped down outside the rear door and walked in. "Yes!" he said, eyes on his walkie-talkie. "Million dollars, here I come!"
A white finger tapping on his shoulder caused him to turn around, but the annoyance quickly faded when he saw Staci and Clone behind him.
"Hey, can we-" was all the chatterbox managed to get out before Matthew turned and fled. Staci and Clone quickly gave chase, calling out "We just wanna borrow your GPS!"
The camera zoomed outside just then, and the shot panned rightward to Mal on the back of a charging black steed. "Yah! Faster!" he said, urging his horse forward as well as the herd that was following them. "Oh Matthew," he called out with a dark smile, "I'm coming!"
\
Another flash took the scene to the parachute of the makeshift balloon hanging across the power lines. A few crackles of electricity were heard, and the whole thing exploded. The camera cut to the right to catch Scarlett fly on screen and land painfully on her butt.
"Sierra? Are you okay?" she asked in a pained voice.
Sierra wheeled herself on screen and said "I'm okay," brightly. "Now let's hurry and get back in the air!"
Scarlett sighed. "I don't think that's happening," she said while pointing to where the balloon had been. The camera briefly cut to the crash just in time to see the parachute burn to a crisp.
"That's not good," Sierra said as the camera cut back to the girls.
"So this is it then," the brainiac said dejectedly. "I should've known better. Villains don't win the million and you don't get more villainous then attempted murder."
Sierra looked from her friend and then back toward the crash. The camera cut to a small stand a little ways away with a large striped firecracker on its front sign and a slender white man with a hook for a hand and an eye patch manning it, then back to a pensive looking super-fan.
\
"Don't tell me Scarlett wants to give up again," Chris asked as the scene cut back to his master GPS, the red dot now stationary. "I thought she was over that," he added in annoyance.
\
"Like, seriously, we just want that GPS!" Staci said angrily as she and Clone advanced on a wary Matthew inside another empty passenger car.
"Why?" Matthew said defensively, holding the device behind his back. "So you can stop me from getting to Hawaii like he asked you to?" He backed into the next door just then, then quickly spun around and flung it open and fled to the next car before Staci or Clone could react.
The alien growled in exasperation, then he and Staci gave chase.
\
"Fireworks!" Sierra said as the camera flashed to her wheeling herself to the stand. "Perfect! Except," she added thoughtfully, "I'm broke. But my best friend's in a race for a million dollars and she'll totally pay you back when she wins!"
The man just stared at her.
"I didn't wanna have to do this," she said while reaching in her pocket. "But I can't let Mal or Matthew win!" She handed the man photo of a certain Total Drama based band, and the camera zoomed in to show signatures of Trent, DJ, Harold, and Malcolm. "This should be worth more than enough on the internet.
"Is that a signed photo of all the Drama Brothers?!" the man asked in glee.
"You're a fan!" Sierra said happily. "Yes it is, and right now Harold's sister Scarlett's in the Final Three with Mike's evil personality Mal and a total jerkface named Matthew. But don't tell anyone."
"Matthew? Is he about this tall?" the man asked, holding his hand at about Matthew's approximate height, "wears ironic T-shirts and insults everyone whenever he has the chance?"
"You know him?" Sierra gasped.
"Know him?" the man said. "He's my ex! Take what you need!" he declared, tossing a box of fireworks onto her lap.
"Thanks!" Sierra said as she wheeled away. "You're the best!" The man waved her off happily.
\
"Just give me the GPS, okay!" Staci yelled at Matthew as the three continued their chase, the camera showing it through the windows before cutting inside just as the hipster reached a dessert cart. "I don't care who wins, I just wanna go back home!"
"If that's true," Matthew said, clutching the device to his chest as Staci and Clone approached the dessert cart, "then why are you helping Mal?"
"Who the heck is Mal?" Staci asked.
"Mal!" Matthew replied, dodging Clone's pounce. "Mike's evil personality, he's been running the whole game!"
Staci skidded to a halt. "Wait, Mike's been evil this whole time?" she asked in shock and confusion.
Matthew rolled his eyes. "What, you've been stowing away all this time and you never knew?" He sighed, then smirked and said "In that case, let me fill you in."
\
The box of fireworks was tossed in front of a cross-legged Scarlett as the scene moved back to the two girls. Sierra wheeled on-screen and said "Get up."
"Why?" Scarlett said. "What's the point?"
"The point," the super-fan said angrily, "is that you're not the villain! You're the good guy this season and you're making it to Mexico, even if I have to drag you the whole way!"
"But-" Scarlett tried to say.
"No buts!" Sierra told her. "Now let's get these fireworks on my chair and fly!"
"Sierra," Scarlett said. "That's incredibly dangerous and may very well be the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Sierra scowled, but it turned into a smirk when the brainiac followed up with "Let's do it."
The two girls smiled at each other.
\
"Yes," Mal whispered into his steed's ear, "keep running!" The horses were now running alongside the train, and the ruthless troublemaker was smirking confidently.
That is, until the perspective changed to a head-on view and two familiar figures burst out of a train window. A male one somehow was able to land gracelessly on the back of a rather startled horse and caught the female one, and Mal looked at them with utter shock. "Staci?! What are you two doing?"
"She's getting her revenge!" another voice declared, and Mal looked to his other side to see Matthew standing dramatically on the roof of the train. The hipster jumped as well, and like Staci managed to somehow land on a horse's back in a perfect riding posture.
"Uggh, I don't have time for this," Mal muttered, turning his gaze forward as the odd couple got into proper riding position with Clone behind Staci. "Hurry!" he told his mount, the camera changing back to side-view as his horse sped up.
"Yah, you better run, you...evil guy!" Staci yelled, hers and Clone's horse speeding up as well.
"Yeah!" Matthew chimed in with an impish grin, trailing behind them but still ahead of the rest of the herd. "Let's get him!"
\
"Wooww," Chris said as the shot cut to the screen of his GPS device, now showing the blue and yellow dots heading forward at an even pace. "They just don't seem to really want it that bad, hmm? But barring any hilarious accidents," he told the camera as it moved to show his face, "I guess they're our Final Tw-wait a sec!" he interrupted himself, his eyes going wide at something on his screen. He looked around outside, and the shot zoomed out just as a familiar pair of excited cries echoed through the air.
"Woo hoo!" Scarlett shouted as she and Sierra flew by tied to the super-fan's wheelchair, the chair shooting off fireworks as they rocketed up past Chris's helicopter.
"Scarlett's still in it!" Chris announced dramatically. "Like a phoenix burnt to a crisp, before rising up anew!" The shot cut back to the two flying on their makeshift rocket, and he corrected himself with "No wait, that's Sierra! Anyway, it's a dead heat, people!" he told the camera.
"I knew you could do it!" Sierra told her friend excitedly. "I knew we could do it!"
"Haha, and look!" Scarlett pointed out giddily. "There's Tijuana Beach!"
"Lean!" the super-fan said excitedly. Both girls leaned back, and the chair angled downward.
\
"I will burn you like overcooked kale!" Matthew shouted as the scene cut to him, Mal, and Staci and Clone racing along the beach on horseback.
"I will squash you like an insect!" Mal retorted.
The camera changed to a head-on perspective as Mal tried to backhand his opponent only to get his hand ducked, and an off-camera shout of "Look out!" from Chris caused both villains to look forward in shock.
"WAAAAAH!" Chris screamed, the camera inverting to show the four rapidly approaching a finish line in the sand, the host below it waving his arms. The two lead horses skidded to a halt with a panicked whinny, but the momentum caused Mal and Matthew to be launched forward over the banner. Chris looked back as they landed with a thud, and Staci and Clone rode up to him.
"Hey, you two aren't supposed to be here!" Chris yelled at the odd couple.
"Yah, like I care," Staci said, she and her boyfriend jumping down from their horse. "You're just lucky I have something to do right now, okay." With that she ran off in the direction Mal and Matthew had flown, and with a scowl Chris followed them.
The camera cut to the two lying on the beach next to a dock, Matthew on top of Mal so that the two were face-to-face. "Get off of me!" Mal shouted, shoving the hipster off as Staci, Clone, and Chris arrived on the dock.
"Uhh, I still have a race to the million going on," Chris told them, "ya interested? Hawaii's over there," he pointed as a few heavier notes began the music's increase in intensity. "Grab a boat, head to the big island, and-"
As he spoke, a faint whistling noise heralded the arrival of the rocket wheelchair and its passengers in the distance behind Chris. The chair crashed into the sand and sailed to the dock, the host quickly running out of the way. The girls screamed in terror as they skidded along the beach, only to hit a large rock and be thrown into the air both flying toward the boats.
The camera cut in close as they landed in the middle boat, Sierra gracefully on her but in the driver's seat and Scarlett gracelessly on her face.
"We made it!" Sierra said excitedly as Scarlett got to her feet. "We actually made it!"
"The GPS says Hawaii's over there!" Scarlett said, pointing off in the distance excitedly as she took a seat in the back of the ship, pulling the GPS from her sweater as Sierra started the engine and sped the boat off.
"And Scarlett plus one takes the lead!" Chris announced.
"No!" Mal swore as he ran down the docks alongside Matthew, Clone, and Staci, heading for the last two speedboats.
"I really love this show," Chris said with a small smile as he watched the race unfold.
\
The footage skipped ahead to the three boats nearly even as they raced across the Pacific Ocean, constantly vying for the lead. Matthew, Clone, and Staci's boat rammed into Sierra and Scarlett's from the side as it passed by, the hipster shouting "See ya later, loser!"
The shot cut to the hipster, his confident smile fading when his boat was rammed into. "What the?" he said, looking to his left, the camera zooming out to show Mal alongside him. "These aren't bumper boats!" he told his former ally. "Get him guys!" he said to his passengers.
"You'll pay for your lying ways!" Staci said as Clone took a swipe Mal's boat with his clawed hand, but missing entirely.
"Not likely!" Mal laughed as he swerved his boat away from the three, then quickly darted in to ram them further away. He continued on for another few seconds before looking down and gaping, the perspective changing to show a small leak in his boat. "Not now!" he groaned in frustration, the shot zooming out again as Scarlett and Sierra's boat came up alongside his.
"See you at the finish line, Mal!" Scarlett said with a taunting wave as their boat took the lead, but Mal just grit his teeth.
"No, I'll see you at the finish line!" he countered, quickly turning around to pick up a large swordfish that had somehow been in his boat, then throwing it like a spear at his foes. Sierra gasped in panic and dodged away from the pointed fish, but all that meant was that it got lodged into the steering wheel instead.
The shot zoomed out again as Matthew, Clone, and Staci passed the other two by. "Yeah!" Matthew cheered. "I'm back in the lead!"
"Like, look out!" Staci said, darting forward to point over Matthew's shoulder. The shot cut to a large naval mine floating on top of the water; a hapless seagull landed on it, causing it to explode just before Matthew's boat passed through the area, both humans screaming in fear.
Cutting back to the other two boats showed Mal pulling ahead again as Sierra struggled to remove the swordfish and regain control of her vessel. "Haha! I've finally taken you out, Scarlett!"
"LOOK OUT!" Sierra screamed, causing the two rivals to look ahead.
The camera cut to a head-on shot of Sierra, Scarlett, and Mal screaming.
It was revealed that they were screaming at another naval mine, which they promptly sailed into; launching their boats into the air.
Matthew, Clone, and Staci were shown looking back with delight as they approached their destination, but a sudden spluttering from the engine caused them to look at one another with concern. "We're out of gas!" Staci exclaimed.
"Paddle!" Matthew demanded, and the three promptly took oars from the boat and began to row.
\
The scene moved to the beach, where the other former contestants had assembled to await the arrival of the Final Three plus three. The camera panned across them, ending on an annoyed Trent and Gwen next to Chris. The camera pulled back and panned further over to the right, and just as it hit the beach a boat arrived.
"Yes!" Matthew cheered, eagerly jumping up and down in the boat. "I did it! I won!"
"Matthew makes it into the Final Two!" Chris announced with a dramatic point. "One question remains," he told the camera, "who will Matthew battle?" The camera cut to the hipster grinning smugly in his boat. "Scarlett, or Mal?"
As he spoke Mal, Scarlett, and Sierra's screams of terror were heard, followed by a thud and the camera cut over...
"Oh, wow," Chris said in shock, looking over the strewn forms of Scarlett, Mal, and Sierra alongside a disembarked Matthew, Clone, and Staci, "that's what you call a tie people! I'd go to the slow-mo to declare a winner," he said, tapping his chin in thought as the camera moved in for a close-up, "buuuttt there's no need," he said with an impish smile. "Because Matthew is out!"
"WHAT?!" Matthew declared in shock.
"Yup!" Chris told him. "The first two on Hawaii become the Final Two!" the camera zoomed out to show the entire cast, most of them staring at the host in disbelief. "And since you never actually touched your feet to the island until after they landed, that means that our Final two are Mal and Scarlett!"
Matthew's eye just twitched, and the series's capstone theme began to play.
"So come back next time to for the final battle," Chris said, drawing the camera's attention back off the six on the beach. "And see someone finally win the million! Or die trying," he shrugged impishly. "Right here," he double-pointed at the camera, "on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
\
(Bonus Clip)
The clip opened up to The Hipster walking along the Hawaiian beach.
"This is unbelievable!" he complained. "I should be in the Final Two! Not them! They don't deserve the money! I do!"
He stopped walking. "And I'm going to get it!" he declared, turning and running back the way he came.
Author's Note Post Script: And there we have it, folks. Mal and Scarlett are the Final Two, and Matthew's been eliminated. I'll explain why after the finale, which might not be the normal three-day wait.
As for this chapter, I really like how it turned out. Mal pretty much followed Alejandro's path, from the truck to the train to the horses, but I think it still worked. Needless to say, Mal's relationship with Matthew is much different that Alejandro and Heather's in canon. Matthew ended up getting the Heather path, because quite honestly I feel like 'walking blindly through the desert and tripping over rails' is such a Matthew thing to do. He also ended up getting an odd ally in Staci and Clone, who I decided to give a much bigger role to than what Ezekiel had in canon - in part because I didn't want them to just show up in Hawaii out of the blue like Ezekiel, and also because Staci still has her wits about her and should be treated as a human character. And Scarlett and Sierra, meanwhile, build the hot air balloon which is more believable than Cody doing it in canon in my opinion.
And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDWT ELIMINATION TABLE:
Eliminated: Noah
17th Place: Staci
16th Place: Malcolm
15th Place: Heather
14th Place: Leshawna
13th Place: Sky
12th Place: Duncan
11th Place: Kitsune
10th Place: Harold
9th Place: Victor
8th Place: Noah
7th Place: Zoey
Eliminated: Blaineley
6th Place: Alejandro
5th Place: Tyler
4th Place: Sierra
3rd Place: Matthew