Chapter 24 – Re-Offender
("Re-Offender" by Travis)
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, their characters, setting, or plot. All of those belong to Ryan Murphy, FOX, and their affiliates.
The next night, I felt like the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. By some miracle, Quinn and I had gotten our duet together and performed it Friday afternoon. Right after we sang, the glee club voted. With Breadstix on the line, I really wondered how Mr. Schuester was gonna do this. Let's be real, everyone would vote for themselves. Then again, Artie and Brittany hadn't done their duet, so I guess that would break any kind of five-way tie or something. As I wrote my vote down, I couldn't help but think how perfect it would be to have that date with Quinn. The perfect chance to get her one on one, no duet to work on, no one interrupting us, just time to talk. Time to prove to her that I'm the guy she wants. I watched as everyone turned in their votes. Recapping the duets in my head, my rendition of Lucky seemed kinda dumb. The only group that did worse was Finn and Rachel. I was still amazed at how rude their duet was. But Mercedes and Santana could hit notes I thought only Aquaman's seahorse could make, Kurt had somehow figured out how to sing a duet by himself, and Mike and Tina had the cute couple thing going, not to mention his sick dance skills. It looked like an uphill battle, but before I knew it, I had a gift certificate to Breadstix in one hand, Quinn's hand in the other, and Santana coming at me like a rabid animal. Yeah, I could tell I was fitting in already.
On the way out the door, Santana grabbed my arm and grinned, cocking her head back. "Hey Trouty Mouth," she said, boring holes into me with her eyes. "The last guy who went to Breadstix with Quinn ended up being a baby daddy." She let go of my arm, before pointing one finger into my chest. "I know under the warm glow of the restaurant lights with the smell of delicious garlic sticks wafting through the air she may look like the girl of your dreams, but just remember, under all that make up and skin cream are the stretch marks of a former teenage sperm dumpster." I raised my eyebrows as Quinn shot back at her.
"Well, if anyone on the football team actually decides to take you out in public, make sure you wipe the grass stains off your knees," she said, taking my hand. I gave an approving smile as Santana's mind worked for a comeback, but before she could get the words out, I gave the toxic-tongued cheerleader a gleeful shrug before Quinn pulled me out of the choir room.
"What was that about?" I asked, giving a little laugh.
"Last year was a very…intense year for me," she responded.
"You have no idea," I responded, almost slipping up.
"Oh, I'm sure I do. I uh, well, I was dating Finn," she explained, stopping at her locker and looking up at me, fixing the strap on her Cheerios uniform. "And Puck got me pregnant. And I tried to pass it off as Finn's and almost gave away my baby for adoption to Mr. Schuester's ex-wife who was faking her own pregnancy." I looked down at her blankly, my mind still trying to catch up with the story she was telling.
"Oh," I replied dumbly. "And I take it none of that happened?" I asked.
"Not quite," she said, leaning against her locker. "My parents threw me out of the house, everyone found out it wasn't Finn's baby, and Mr. Schue realized his wife was lying about being pregnant and they got a divorce. "
"But you still had the baby?" I asked.
"Yeah, the night of regionals. I went into labor and Beth was born. And I gave her up for adoption to Shelby Corcoran. She's our rival glee club's former advisor slash Rachel Berry's biological mother slash the adoptive mother of my baby slash my wrists if I have to tell this story again."
"I'm sorry," I said, still processing it all, but at the same time understanding that her year was probably just as hard as mine. "You don't owe me an explanation or anything," I said, trying to make her feel better.
"It's okay," she said, opening up her locker. "The point is that last year was a hard year and I'm not looking to get into the same mess again. I'm not going to sit here and try to keep up appearances. Yeah, I had a baby when I was 16 and yeah I was disowned by my parents and yeah the entire school judged me. But I'm a better person for it and I found out who my true friends were. And I learned," she continued, placing her books neatly in her locker, "that I don't have to be anybody but myself to get back on top." She shut her locker and finally faced me again, staring right into my eyes. "So there's my baggage. Take it or leave it."
"I'll take it," I said smiling. "You had a lot of courage to go through all that. Now the question is do you have enough courage to chance a date with me?" I asked, holding up the gift certificate.
"You know, you're not as charming as you think you are," she responded playfully, snatching the certificate from my fingers.
"And you aren't as intimidating as you think you are," I answered back, giving her a smile. "So I'll pick you up at 6?"
"I'll meet you there at 6:30," she responded, turning on her heel and walking the other direction. "Don't be late," she said, waving the gift certificate in the air, "or I might find some other geeky boy to have dinner with," she called back, grinning.
As Quinn and I sat down at Breadstix that night, I knew it was my chance to win her over. It wasn't easy, but I tried my best to just be myself and be real with her. Well, as much of myself as possible. And even though the conversation might've been awkward at first, by the end of it, I knew I had come out on top. She began putting the gift certificate away before we paid.
"What are you doing?" I asked her as a grin crept onto my face.
"We're not using that," she explained. "You're paying."
"Why?"
"Because," she said, "a gentleman always pays on the first date." I couldn't do anything but smile. It worked. Even with my goofy Matthew McCoughnahey impressions and my lemon juice-infused hair, she still wanted to date me. The newfound honesty with her was turning out to be my key to her heart. Even though I knew I wouldn't be able to tell her everything, I knew I could be real with her.
As the weeks went by, I was surprised at how easy it was for me to be with Quinn. Don't get me wrong, I had to work hard to keep up the reputation, especially when Mr. Schue tried to have me wear some tight gold shorts for Rocky Horror or when Quinn somehow thought I was having some kind of intense love affair with Coach Beiste. But regardless of all of that, I somehow managed to keep my head above the water and as time went on, I could tell that Quinn was falling for me. And to be honest, I was falling for her too. I don't know whether it was the fact that she really held her own against anyone, especially other dudes, or if it was just the fact that she was always game for a fun time. Even for Halloween, a holiday I hadn't celebrated in years, she managed to get me out of my house, into a costume, and to Finn's house for a party. When she showed me my costume, I thought she had gone crazy, but then she showed me hers. And that was when I knew she was perfect for me. Let's just say that Han Solo and gold bikini Princess Leia may have won best costume at Finn's Halloween party, even over Rachel crying that her Gypsy Rose Lee costume should've taken the prize.
Being around Quinn also opened the doors to getting know a lot of different people. Up until that point, I had really only known the football players and the people in glee club. Even though I wasn't very social, Quinn did most of the talking and I just sat back and threw in the occasional joke or funny impression. I was climbing up the social ladder without much work and had nothing to complain about.
The best part about drowning myself in Quinn was that it distracted me from thinking about Blaine. The entire way through October, I barely thought of him and didn't dream about him once. Quinn was a refreshing change from the usual heavy feeling in my stomach when I thought about Blaine. Any time my mind would wander and I would think of where he was or what he was doing, Quinn would come out of nowhere and distract me again. It was perfect. I was almost sure I was over Blaine. At least, that's what I thought. But on the first day of November, Mr. Schuester came into glee club practice with Puck, free from juvie. As Puck told everyone what a badass he was, Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Wow, what a catch, can't believe I ever let you go," she said sarcastically, throwing him daggers with her eyes. But Mr. Schue spoke before Puck could get a comeback at her.
"And now, drum roll Finn. Because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month," he announced, holding up a piece of paper. "First, the a capella choir from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers." My stomach dropped. I had to let my brain catch up to the shock of hearing a name I didn't expect, especially not from Mr. Schuester.
"Okay, hold up. Like, a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head," remarked Santana with a snarky grin that made me want to blow up at her. I didn't even hear the other competitor or the assignment for the week. I was too busy in my own mind. Just when I thought everything was over, when I finally broke the emotional ties to Dalton, not just the physical ones, this was thrown in my face. And then my mind shot to the fact that I was going to see him again. I was going to have to watch him perform with the Warblers. Look at him in the flesh, not just some image in my mind. Not some bad memory that made my heart heavy. And then he was going to see me perform. I knew I would have to do everything I could to stay on the down low, keep everything on an even keel, and just get through sectionals. Then one of us would lose the competition and I would never have to see him again.
Things only got worse. Two days later, Kurt offered his ideas for the guys versus girls mash-up competition and the rest of the guys wouldn't lay off of him. "Isn't this lesson about opposites?" asked Artie, looking at Kurt's costume display. "I mean, you wearing a sequined gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect."
"Okay, who said anything about a gown?" asked Kurt, definitely offended. I knew I should've stood up for him, at least to give him a chance. But what did I do? I sat back and kept my mouth shut.
"Uh dude, why don't you make yourself useful and go put some rat poison in them old folks' Jello or visit the Garglers," offered Puck, turning on him in the front of the classroom.
"The Warblers," Kurt corrected him.
"Whatever. See what they're up to," he said. In my head, the last thing I needed was for Kurt to go visit my old school. What if he started sharing information? What if he told someone that I was in the glee club and they recognized the name? What if he actually met Blaine? I should've stood up for Kurt, but in that moment, I did what I do best. Nothing.
"Fine," Kurt said, taking his display board and leaving the room. I knew I should've run after him or said something to make him stay. But that would've looked too suspicious. I needed to make sure I appeared chill about it. I needed to be sure I looked like one of the guys. So I let him go.
That night, I was nervous as hell. I couldn't focus on my homework. I sat at the dining room table and my mind was anywhere but on the English assignment in front of me. My mom was sitting across the table reading a magazine as I did my work. I read the same line over and over in my English book before my eyes wandered around the room. And then it hit me. Something was different. I had noticed it a little bit over Halloween, but I never really caught it until that moment.
"Mom," I said looking around the dining room awkwardly. "You didn't decorate for Thanksgiving," I told her. "Or Halloween for that matter."
"I know," she responded barely looking up from her magazine. I didn't know who the woman was in front of me, but it definitely wasn't my mom. My mom always decorated our house, especially around the fall. Up until this year, our house looked like it came out of Home and Garden. But as I looked around our dining room, nothing was decorated. Don't get me wrong, everything was clean and organized, but it didn't look like a catalog. Not like it had for years before.
"Did you just run out of time to decorate this year?" I asked, pushing for an answer. It was just too unlike my mother not to take the appearance of the house into account. Not when it was a constant show to display the picture-perfect home and family, the picture-perfect family I was saving by burying my secret.
"No," she said, finally putting her magazine down. She sighed before looking at me from across the table, brushing her blonde hair out of her face. "I just didn't think it was important. Really, it was our talk in the hospital that made me realize it."
"Realize what?" I asked with a questioning grin.
"That I was focusing on things that didn't matter," she answered. "You know for years I spent so much time trying to show everyone some perfect life that I had. I wanted everyone to look at our house or see our car or even our family and think how absolutely perfect it was. But after we talked in the hospital, I realized that by spending all that time keeping up appearances and creating this perfect image, I was losing out on living my life. I was missing out on enjoying time with you and being a mom for you." Her eyes got glossy and I could tell she was about to cry, something I barely ever saw her do.
"Oh," I said dumbly, not really sure what to say. She got up and walked around the table, sitting in the chair next to me, her arm resting on the back of mine.
"I was cleaning your room this weekend and I found a ring," she said. I looked up at her in surprise. She found the ring I planned on giving Quinn. Things were going so well and with all of the feelings from Dalton going away, I felt like it was good to make a solid commitment to Quinn. My mom pulled the box out of her sweater pocket and put it on the table. "It's for Quinn?" she asked, staring me in the eyes. I gulped and nodded slowly, not really sure how she was going to feel about it.
"It's just a promise ring," I explained. "I'm not proposing or anything."
"This is really sweet, Sam. But is it really what you want?" she asked, her eyes never leaving mine. I nodded again, looking back at her, feeling more like a child than I had in a long time.
"Yes, at least, I think it is. Quinn makes me happy. I want to show her that."
"I'm just afraid for you Sam. I don't want to see you miss out on something great because you have some idea of a perfect life that you can't make happen or because you're trying to be something you aren't." Her words cut through me. And I knew in my heart she was saying them out of love. But as much as I knew she wanted me to be happy, there was no way she could seriously understand the decision I had made. Or how I made it out of love for her. I just nodded again. "If you feel it's right," she said, sliding the small jewelry box under my hand, "then give her the ring." She put her hand on top of mine, her eyes unwavering. "But don't make the same mistakes that I did. Don't try to be anything you aren't just to look better than you are. I'll love you no matter what."
"I love you too, Mom," I said, giving her a hug. It wasn't something we did often, but it felt good. And even as I repeated my thoughts in my head, that it was better this way, all I thought about was Blaine.
The next morning, I found Kurt at his locker. I was determined to make sure I was still in the clear and my secret was safe. "So how was your trip to Delta?" I asked.
"Dalton," he corrected me with a stern look. "And my trip was fine, thank you very much," he said, closing his locker and walking toward his second period class.
"So what did you, like uh, do?" I asked, trying not to sound too interested.
"Look, I didn't spy on them," he said, turning on me. "So if you're trying to get information out of me, then I'm about to be a bigger disappointment than Avenue Q winning the 2004 Tony for Best Musical over Wicked."
"I don't know what that –"
"The point is," he interrupted, falling back into a strut down the hall, "there's nothing to tell. I saw them perform a song, I talked with some of them, and I left. Plain and simple. No nonsense, no spying, no juicy gossip."
"Sounds good man," I replied, convinced that he was more worried about me thinking he was a spy than finding anything out about me. "I was just wondering. And for what it's worth," I added, "your ideas for the mash-up competition weren't half bad." I cocked my head in a slight shrug and made a turn at the fork in the hallway. "See you later." As I walked away from him, I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew that, for now, I had kept everything under control. I could do this. I could keep this up. At least through sectionals. And then any tie I had to Dalton, physical or emotional, would be gone.