It was only later, in the quiet of the night, when she first wished things were different. She wasn't exactly sure when. She just knew at some point that night, part of her longed for a change.

Lissa didn't know what woke her. One minute she was dead asleep, the next she was halfway out of bed, her blood charge screaming in her ears, heart slamming in her chest. It was a truly terrifying way to wake up. And there wasn't even time for her to recover because a moment after the initial book that shook the walls of the palace, the glass in her windows, and her very core, the alarm went off. Her room was already dark, but she saw the hallway go dark, along with the light in her bathroom, and the lights in the gardens beyond her curtained windows. Even her phone still plugged into her charger, went dead before she even saw what time if it was.

All she knew was she had to get out.

Lissa pulled herself together long enough to throw on some clothes over her pajamas and a pair of sneakers, but her hands were shaking so bad she could hardly tie the laces. The hall was dark, and the screaming alarm was only louder out here. The dark was pierced only by the flashing silvery light on the smoke alarms that she'd never really paid attention to before. There was no one else around as she ran down to the third floor, where she had stood only a few hours earlier with Nat and Nicole. There were a few more servants and guards down here, but Lissa didn't stop to observe the general mayhem, she just ran to the nursery.

Her pulse pounded in her ears and somehow her brain was scared enough to make her terrified body move. The faster the better.

The war was supposed to be over.

Queen Christine was already there, holding Aidan on one hip and trying to get the girl's shoes on. All three kids were crying. There were two guards also, urging the queen to get out of there. Lissa immediately jumped in to help, getting Evie's shoes on and grabbing their fluffy pink robes.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Christine was in pajamas too, looking like a regular mom and not a queen in her hoodie and leggings. "The guards took Andrew away so fast," she said, face drawn.

"Mommy, what's going on?" Sophie blubbered, barely letting go of Christine's arm.

"Your Majesty, we need to get you to the safe rooms immediately," one of the guards said.

"It's going to be alright, honey," Christine said, standing up and switching Aidan to the other side. "We're going to go be with Daddy in just a few minutes, but we have to be quiet first, okay?"

Lissa was surprised how quickly the kids crying turned into tearful sniffling. Sophie wouldn't let go of her mom, who was already carrying Aidan, but Evie seemed to understand more what was going on and just clung to Lissa's hand with all her six-year-old might. They followed the guards out of the nursery and then the second guard fell behind the small group. In her previous time at the palace, the safe rooms hadn't been installed until several months into Ethan's Selection, and the one time she had used them there had been only minimal access points. She didn't even know where they all were this time for security reasons.

About halfway down the hall, the guards took them into a small windowed nook parlor, which contained a hidden door right where the room dipped off from the hall. There was a narrow stone staircase, dimly lit by grayish light on the gray concrete walls. Christine, Lissa, and the kids followed the guards into the stairwell, and the doors boomed shut behind them, plunging the staircase into sudden silence. It left Lissa's ears ringing for several more minutes. They went down several flights of stairs, and somehow that quiet was almost scarier than the chaos of the alarms.

Finally, the stairs ended, and they were left with just a long hallway, more gray concrete. There were more guards down here, and other security looking people in black uniforms instead of red, even a few servants. There were several rooms and doors, but they passed lots of them. Finally, they stopped at one, and the first guard swiped a keycard, and the door opened.

She'd been here before, Lissa realized, remembering. During Ethan's Selection, once they had come back from a vacation at Trentworth, a mob of rebels had attacked the palace. She'd been so stupid back then, running back into danger to get to Wesley and only barely making it down here in time. She hadn't saved him, she just had to be with him back then.

Well, he wasn't here now. A quick scan of the room showed her that.

Christine and the kids ran to where Andrew was, conferring with some important looking guards and security people. The king stepped away and was mobbed by his little family, with the girls around his legs and Christine almost crushing Aidan between them as she threw her arms around her husband and he kissed her. Lissa stepped away, making sure to avoid the dowager Queen Francesca, who set in repose in a corner, a long coat over her nightgown. Her face was pale like it was carved from marble and she didn't take her eyes off the door. Lissa knew she was waiting for Wesley, still her baby after twenty-one years, just like she had five years ago when Lissa had last been in this room.

She saw a few of the Selected mixed in with all the various palace people, and just after she and Christine arrived, the guards brought in several more in pajamas and various thrown on clothes. Being back where she had been when she had been one of them was strange. They grouped together, with terrified looked on their faces, never having been through this before. Lissa looked around for Joseph but didn't see him, though she did see a couple of the higher-level staff that were his friends. More and more people kept arriving in the huge room, bunching together in their own groups of staff and whatnot—all giving the royal family plenty of space. Someone even came with the two Shreave dogs. Still no Wesley.

Lissa found Nat and Nicole, holding a somehow still sleeping Jamie, and she was glad that all the others had gone home hours earlier and no one was staying over tonight. Worry was written all over their faces, and both Ethan and Ben were absent, so it didn't take a genius to figure out why.

"You guys okay?" she asked as she joined them.

Nicole managed a smile at her. "Yeah, this is a lot better than the first few times the alarms went off."

"Haven't been in here in a while," Nat said with a grin. "I think the last time was with you, Lissa."

"Yeah, when the mob attacked the palace on the Report."

Nicole tightened her arms around her sleeping son and rolled her lips together. "That was terrifying."

"It doesn't get any less terrifying, does it?" said Nat. The other two shook their heads.

"What's going on?" Lissa asked, hoping that because Nicole was a princess, she might know a little more.

"I don't know. No one's told us anything yet, we're still waiting for everyone to get here," Nicole said. "Ethan should be here by now. He said he would be right behind me."

As if to answer her question, the doors opened up and a large group of people joined them. Ethan and Wesley were first through the doors, followed by the last of the Selected, Veyra, Ophelia, Alyex, and Eleanor. Barring Ethan, the others were all sparkling with a fine sheen of glitter and didn't exactly look like they were sober. The girls were all wearing cocktail dresses and carrying high heels, and Wesley was in a suit, or at least the remains of one. His shirt was unbuttoned over a white t-shirt and his jacket was slung over his shoulder.

Ethan and Nicole met in the middle of the room in a tight hug, with Jamie between them, and they stayed like that for several moments. Queen Francesca went to Wesley and pressed her hands to either side of his face before embracing him.

"Ethan wouldn't go to the safe rooms without Wesley," Nat explained quietly to Lissa. "And that boy was still partying even at three a.m. He-"

Nat didn't finish, because Ben had just come in, along with several more important looking people and Ben was making a beeline over to his wife. She jumped up to greet him and threw her arms around his neck, and he lifted her feet off the ground just a little.

Nat pulled away just long enough to speak. "Don't you ever leave like that again. I don't care what was so important, you're an important person now too, remember?"

"Security stuff," Ben explained, giving her cheek a quick kiss. "And you had to go with Nicole, anyway. But hey, I just came to make sure you were okay. We've got to have an emergency Council meeting."

He left them as quickly as he had come and joined the small group of hastily assembled members of the Council, though it was only Ben, Ethan, Wesley, and Andrew. Everyone else was home or at least somewhere else. Lissa hoped that whatever the hell was going on here wasn't going on everywhere.

She watched them as they met with some important looking guard people, trying to figure out what was going on. Wesley stood to the side of the group, she noticed, bouncing his leg up and down as he leaned against the wall. He didn't look like he was paying much attention as he stared sightlessly into the safe room. He kept fiddling with something in his hand, and Lissa saw it was a lighter. None of the Selected were even watching him, they were just focused on themselves and their own personal trauma.

And maybe it was because he looked so scared and so small and helpless. Or how it made her sick to see someone who she had cared about in another life look like that. But whatever it was, it made Lissa mad.

He didn't say anything to the other Council members. He went from leaning against the wall to striding quickly to the doors before anyone had the chance to stop him. The conversation of the others stopped as he abandoned them but resumed after a second. None of the Selected even saw him leave. Even his mother, who was with Christine and the kids, didn't notice. No one saw. No one cared.

Lissa didn't say anything to Nat or Nicole, she just followed him. No one else was going to.

The guards were all too busy with everything else, so she slipped out of the safe rooms into the long hallway that wasn't exactly a safe room but probably was pretty safe, just the same. A few people were outside but farther down, coming in and out of another room, mostly guards and other security personnel. No one close enough to question her or the prince half-hidden in the shadows in between two of lights that illuminated the corridor in pockets

He was struggling with his lighter in one hand, the other trying to hold a cigarette steady at his lips. His hands were shaking, and he couldn't get it to light. As Lissa got closer heard him muttering a long string of curses that was getting more and ridiculous with each word. He finally got the cigarette lit and sucked in a lungful of smoke. He must have heard her footsteps and turned slightly toward her, his eyes open wide.

This was so stupid. There had been absolutely no reason to go after him. The only thing she was doing was making this harder and harder for herself. Too late now.

"Hey," she said softly, in a way that was supposed to sound casual, but given their circumstances, was not at all.

Wesley quickly lowered his hands, stuffing his lighter in one pocket and half-trying to hide his cigarette. He looked down at his shoes and he blew smoke out of his mouth. "Hi."

"Smoking's bad for you, you know."

Wesley nodded, eyes on the ground. "I know. I tried to stop when I got back…" he shrugged. "I hate vapes. They smell disgusting."

Lissa crossed her arms. She didn't know what to do with her hands. "Most people say it's the other way around."

"Yeah, well," he took another drag of smoke. "Vapes always try to be like oh it's okay! You're breathing in cereal! But it's not, it's just dumb juice and it always made me want whatever flavor it was. At least cigarettes don't pretend. I don't know." He looked up at her then, finally. "Please don't tell anyone? No one really knows and I would like to keep it that way. People…tend to think badly of princes who, you know, smoke."

Lissa nodded. "Of course." She actually already knew he smoked. Joseph told her all the time how annoying it was to go run errands for Wesley, and she had smelled it on him the night after the Report he had come to hang out with her, and when they were trapped in the Woman's Room together. He wasn't as sneaky as he thought, trying to cover it up with body spray or aftershave or whatever he used. It smelled nice, though.

"Is it safe to be out here, you think?" Lissa didn't ask him what was going on, though she desperately wanted to. He was watching the doors to the safe rooms and the guards down the hall very carefully.

"I don't know, probably." He ran his hands through his hair and shrugged again. "I just couldn't be in there anymore. I hate that room."

"I know what you mean," Lissa said. "I haven't been there except that one time during Ethan's Selection." Wesley stared at her blankly, so she continued. "Remember? The mob that marched on the gates and interrupted the Report feed?" She didn't mention the part where she ran back to be with him. Kind of like this time too.

"Shit, I forgot about that," he smiled, just a tiny bit at the edges of his mouth. "Damn."

He didn't mention it either. Perhaps he didn't remember.

They were quiet as Wesley smoked. Lissa didn't know what to say or what to do. Wesley leaned against the wall, resting his head against it.

"I thought this was all supposed to be over," he said, very quietly.

"What happened?" she said before she could decide if this was an appropriate time.

"A bomb, apparently. Somewhere between here and the city. As far as I know, it was only one and nothing else really happened, and all this is just a precaution."

"Do you need to get back in there?" Lissa didn't ask if they were all in danger of dying, or who set it off, or if he was even allowed to smoke out here, or if he planned on quitting. She just hoped he wasn't going to ask her why she was out there too. She didn't have an answer to that.

His hands were steady as brought his cigarette to his lips again. "Yeah," he said, accompanied by more smoke. By now, she was sure they would be able to smell it on her too. "But I don't want to."

She tucked her hair behind her ears, and then remembered she was in her PJs and had gone to sleep with wet hair. She had a hair tie, like always, and quickly pulled it into a ponytail. "Me neither. I kinda don't really know anyone in there anymore," she rambled, more embarrassed than ever now. "I mean, I do, but like, I don't. I don't know, sorry," she trailed off, looking at the ground like he had been doing earlier.

"You know me."

"You left."

He finished smoking and put the remains away in a little receptacle she hadn't noticed that was probably well used by the guards. "And we're friends, right?"

Lissa finally worked up the courage to look up again. She smiled. "Right."

"Well, you have me." Wesley smiled back, just a little. It was lopsided and goofy, and his eyes were kind of bloodshot around the edges. But it was nice. "I'll go back in there if you do."

"It's probably safer, anyway," Lissa said. She waited while he tried to rub the smell of smoke off his hands on his pants and dug out a piece of gum out of the depths of his pockets. It didn't look very clean, but he chewed it anyway.

"Hey," he stopped right before they got to the door. "Thanks. For coming out here to see if I was okay. Or maybe you were just lurking, idk. I wasn't doing so hot for a minute there."

"Did you actually just say 'idk'?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

Lissa smiled and rolled her eyes. "Nothing…much." She reached for the door handles.

"No, but seriously. Thank you. It was nice to have a friend, even if you just listened to me rant about vapes. It was better than being alone."

Her hand hesitated for a second on the handles. "Well, like you said. You have me."

No one noticed them much as they came back inside. Well, they noticed Wesley, but not her. The Selected were all sitting in a little group by themselves, some napping and some talking quietly. The royal family, minus the Council, were sitting together as well. Everyone else assembled stood in little groups, there weren't really chairs and places to sit for everyone and it was pretty obvious who was going to get them. Lissa found some of the ladies' maids that she knew and sat down on the floor with them. Wesley made eye contact as he joined his brothers and shot her some nice finger guns.

And maybe that's when she wished things were different.