Sorry this has been a while coming, I have been thinking hard about what is coming up in the story. I have concluded that I will be including an M Rated scene - I feel that it is too important to the characters' development to leave out. But I am warning that the next chapter after this will be mostly M rated for some rather explicit M/M action. Please don't read it if you dislike that kind of thing, I have made it a separate chapter so people don't accidentally read it - but it is a continuation of the end of this chapter.
Rodney sat on the bed, bored. He wasn't allowed to leave, but wasn't allowed to do anything while there either. Carson had insisted he go with him to work, which had seemed a nice idea at the time… but now, he wanted some freedom.
It wasn't that he was being ignored, but he was being just 'looked in on'. All the staff of the infirmary occasionally poked their heads around corners and beds just to glimpse that he was still there, but none of them cared to come up and talk to him. Dr Heightmyer had come by, and he'd had a good talk with her. He hadn't bothered trying to pretend, or try make it seem like he was better. He didn't even have to hide that he had been seeing her before. But, she still had other things to do and so he'd been left alone.
Rodney huffed. Why wasn't Carson paying more attention to him? He HAD tried to kill himself, and the next day on, was like nothing major had happened. He didn't care if it sounded selfish, it seemed perfectly reasonable to expect more attention than the glance of a random doctor after a suicide attempt.
"I mean, what's really stopping me just leaving and going home?" Rodney uttered to himself. He then got the idea to test that… and so sat up, stood, and casually walked away. He tried not to meet anyone's eye, and made sure that he looked like he was supposed to be walking about.
He managed to slip out the door and into the hallways, and walked away.
"Humph, that was a lot easier than it should have been." Rodney huffed to himself as he walked back home. He was annoyed to begin with, but as he walked away, his mood dropped sharply. No one noticed that he disappeared. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by sadness. He didn't care for what people thought anymore, and so just curled up on the ground where he was and started crying.
Two marines walked by, and exchanged nervous glances between each other and kept walking. Not long after, a scientist walking back to his quarters heard Rodney's sobs and went investigating. He found the man curled up against a pillar, not even hidden away from everyone. He walked up to him and knelt down.
"Dr McKay, can I help you with something?" He asked, as there was clearly something wrong.
"No, er…you can't. Probably only Carson can and he can't be bothered." Rodney muttered as he looked to see who it was. He recognised the man, being one of the pudgier scientists, but also as a very kind and caring soul.
"Thank you, though." Rodney said as the other man sad down with him.
"I'm sure Dr Beckett would do anything to help you. Carson's always been eager to help with anything."
"Oh, you… you know him well, do you?" Rodney sniffed. He intended saying it in a snide manner, but it became genuine once he'd started.
"Fairly, yeah. I'm one of the few scientists here that also studied medicine at some point, and so he's been helping me get up to speed to work as a nurse or field medic if needed in a crisis. To be honest, I can't really do much open trauma stuff… it's part of why I stopped in the first place. He's nice about it though."
"Oh, so you mean you're collegues." Rodney said, not sure why he was trying to out-compete for Carson's affections.
"I guess we started out that way but he's a good mate now." The scientist said, his Australian accent bleeding through. Rodney squinted at him to get a better look at his face in a hope to remember his name.
"Dr McKay, I know just from what Carson's told me that you're not going so well right now… it's ok, though. I've had a lot of trouble with the same in the past, so I get what it can be like. You can talk to me if you need, I'm not qualified or anything, but I just wanna offer in case you find it hard to open up to people you're around all the time."
"Thanks, er…" Rodney responded, realising it was now too late to pretend he knew the man's name.
"Dr McTaegan."
"Right. Well, I should probably go."
"No worries, don't let me stop you." He spoke, his accent poking though strongly again.
"I… I just don't know where."
"Don't worry, sometimes that happens. Just go where you feel you need to be, and if you don't want to be there, go somewhere else." Dr McTaegan said, shrugging as he got up.
"Though, if you don't mind me saying, you might like to go where you'll find some comfort. Sometimes just feeling someone is there for you that you care about is enough to help."
The man smiled and then left. Rodney was skeptical of his advice to go back to Carson - he was still a little mad and hurt that it had been so easy to just walk away. But it was true… he did want to be cared about by Carson, and to feel him being there to support him. So, as a compromise, Rodney decided to go wait for the doctor in his quarters.
He turned around and walked back towards the infirmary. He knew Carson's shift would be over soon, and so he wouldn't have to wait long alone. Rodney didn't get the chance, however, as he was grabbed suddenly by two marines accompanied by a doctor.
"We've got him, we're headed back to you." The doctor spoke into his radio.
"Oi, let go of me!" Rodney snapped, resisting the grip of the man and woman holding him.
"No, sir, we must take you back to the infirmary." The woman spoke, her voice detached.
"Well I can walk on my own!" Rodney said, still struggling. The marines looked at the doctor, who nodded, and they let him go.
"Dr McKay, you must return with us or you will be sedated and carried there, is that understood?"
Rodney nodded gruffly, however was a little pleased that at least now he was receiving some due concern. He walked with the guards back to the infirmary, where he was lead back to his same bed.
"No, that'll do, thank you." A familiar Scottish voice spoke from behind him. The guards nodded and left, having been stationed at the door.
"You, Rodney, are coming with me." Carson said, and Rodney turned to face him. He didn't expect what he saw. The doctor looked very angry. He looked like he was tired, and under a lot of strain, but there was an energy vibrating out of him that Rodney couldn't place. To be honest with himself, he was a little scared. He hadn't seen Carson like this before. Was Carson going to restrain him in isolation? Or even hit him?
Suddenly Rodney felt guilty over leaving Carson today when he knew how hard it had been on him lately. A voice in his head told him that Carson should have been paying more attention, but he knew that Carson had other duties to perform that couldn't be overlooked to sit with him. It wasn't often that Rodney felt sympathy for the position of others, but at this moment he felt sorry about position Carson was in. It was hard to remember that others were hurting too, when he felt so horrid.
Rodney's stomach dropped and he felt a panic overwhelm him as Carson forcefully grabbed him by the arm and pulled him. It was so uncharacteristic, he wasn't sure what was about to happen. He was practically dragged out of the infirmary, and down the hallway.
"C-Carson? What are you doing?" Rodney stammered.
"I need you." Was all Carson responded.
"For what?" Rodney asked. He knew Carson likely meant just to be alive, and his disappearance scared him, but there was still that worry that Carson was going to chain him up somewhere to be SURE that he wouldn't go anywhere.