Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders, Lucy is umm mine :D

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Living For

Typical Day

"Oh I almost forgot to tell you guys, Dally's back in town."

Johnny and Pony cheered as they stood up. "Woo, I wonder where the big guy has been." Johnny said in his quiet voice of his. Darry just nodded before saying goodnight to us. Telling us not to stay up to late.

Taking my head off Soda's leg I stood up. He gave me a confused look. "Where ya goin silly goober?"

"Bed, school tomorrow. Remember monkey butt." I looked over at Ponyboy.

"Don't stay up to late." than I pointed my finger at Johnny and Two-bit. "You too, we all have things to do tomorrow. Get some rest." they all nodded at my motherly ways. Something that I have adopted after Mom passed.

"Night checkers." Soda said as I looked at him puzzled.

"Where did you get checkers?" he smiled sweetly at me.

"Couldn't think of anything else." shaking my head at him I went over to Darry's door and knocked.

"Come in." He called so I entered, he was just done getting dressed for bed I think. Dar was wearing some sweatpants and no shirt, smiling at me. I don't know why but I need a hug from my Dad, and Darry was the closest thing I could get at this point. He looked like him, smelled like him, sometimes sounded like him but definitely didn't act like him. I think the mentioning of Dallas being back was my buzz kill. Frowning I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him.

"What's wrong baby girl?" closing my eyes I pictured my Dad asking me that. Him holding me close and him with his warmth.

"Nothing." liar. "Just wanted a hug."

"I needed one too." he admitted pulling away. "Thanks for that."

"No, thank you. You get some rest." I told him as I left his room. He nodded back to me.

"You too sis, if ya need anything…" I interrupted him.

"Than don't hesitate to wake me up, I know. You too brother." saying with a smile I shut his door. Saying goodnight one last time I walked into my bedroom. Leaning up against the back of my door I closed my eyes. Why did he have to come back? He left for no reason, he can stay there for no reason. Opening my eyes I glided across the floor to the window.

Locking it I made sure it wouldn't open, Dally was not coming through this window ever again. I don't want him too, such an asshole he is. Turning the light off I slid under my covers then I sat up again. Double checking the window I sighed. Paranoid is one thing that I am, especially when I know I would get hurt in the situation. Look what happened the last two times I was paranoid, they ended up in disaster because I ignored the feeling. If Dallas came through my window, I would wake up to him. If I woke up to him in here, than I couldn't ignore him. If I saw his eyes looking at me for forgiveness I would forgive him . I need time, and that is something I don't have. Dallas is not on my priority list of things I need to care about.

I need to focus on the gymnastics team, school, my brothers, coping, living, social worker, money, everything else but him. It will be tough but I can get through it. I've been through hell before, now I'm fire resistant. That devil's son, Dallas Winston, can't touch me. Okay, he isn't the devil's son, but he is pretty close to being one. Damn, I just hope he stays away from this house for awhile. Especially away from me. Really, I don't need the extra stress! Smacking my forehead I tried to throw all thoughts of Dallas out of my head. Closing my eyes sleep consumed me for the entire night.

The next time my eyes crept open it was Monday morning, the house was quiet. Looking at my clock I sighed, five twelve. Darry doesn't even wake up this early, well at least I have the bathroom to myself. Usually if I wake up late I have to share it with a guy so I hardly ever shower. Lately they haven't cared about the lock that doesn't work on it, they knock but they just waltz right in if I'm in the shower. Take a leak, grease the hair, take a dump…. You think they would be embarrassed to be in there when I am, but they aren't. It's not that I feel uncomfortable, its that it is gross and that's my private time. I told Darry that if he doesn't fix it soon than I will do it myself. Right afterwards I felt bad for ordering him around since he isn't procrastinating to fix it, just too busy or tired.

Gathering my school clothes I jumped in the shower. It wasn't a long shower but it got the job done. I got dressed in a pale gray dress with a red ribbon on my middle. It made me look nice. After brushing through my hair I braided it in a long braid that came over my shoulder. Putting in a cute little red clip on the side of my head, I smiled at myself. Mom would have been proud to see the day I wore a dress to school. Brushing my teeth I headed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Six-o-nine, I made breakfast for my brothers, eggs and bacon.

Glancing over in the living room I noticed that no one had slept over, and Tim wasn't there either. I was half way done with the bacon when Darry moseyed into the kitchen. Handing him his mug full of steaming hot coffee I kissed him on the cheek. He cupped the mug in his hands and smelled it happily. Than he left the room and woke up our brothers, who were already getting dressed. I made everyone's plate and while I was I heard the roaring sound of teenage boys coming through the door. It sounded like all of them where here, including Dallas Winston. Giving myself a pep talk I set down my brother's food and drinks. Don't look at him, no eye contact, ignore is voice, don't pay attention to anything he does.

"HEY YA'LL!" Two-bit yelled as Pony and Soda sat down at the table, I was next to Darry. "Look what the cat dragged in."

"Hey Dal, where ya been?" Soda asked shuffing ketchup into his eggs.

"Had to make a trip up to New York, had some business." he said, God that voice. I can't even stand it. Ignore it Lucy, ignore it!

"Hey Luc, lookin good." he talked to me, don't look up. Eggs are the center of the universe, stare at them. Don't look away! I started stuffing my face with eggs, wanting to get out the door as fast as possible.

"Slow down girl, the world isn't going to run out of eggs." Steve told me eating a piece of cake next to me. Hurriedly I grabbed a full glass of milk and started to down it. Not pulling the cup away until it was empty. Accidentally I slammed it down on the table as I stood up to go to my room.

"Damn girl, we should enter you in a drinking contest at Buck's one of these fine Saturdays." Two-bit joked as I rushed to my room to find Dally sitting on my bed. NO EYE CONTACT! Looking away fast I didn't pay attention to him, not even telling him to get the hell out of my room. I grabbed socks out of my top compartment of the dresser. Throwing them on my feet I fell to the ground looking around for my shoes, having no luck.

"Luc, slow down would ya? Your making me dizzy." why is he acting so normal? I want him to go away, he needs to go. But I wont tell him that, just ignore him. He will tire of you not speaking to him, he will leave you alone eventually. Right? Standing up I rushed to my closet and searched through Mom's shoes having no luck finding my converse. Going out of my room I went into the living room searching everywhere.

"Anyone know where my shoes are?"

"Over here." Johnny said pointing to the other side of the couch.

"How the hell did they get there?" I muttered to myself while slipping them on. Standing up I slung my bag over my shoulder ready to go out the door. I was stopped by Darry."Where you going?"

"Umm, school." I said, I know where this is going.

"Wait for a ride, Pony is almost ready so go with him, Johnny, Steve and Two-bit." sighing I sat down on the couch bobbing my leg up and down impatiently.

"I've never seen the girl want to go to school so bad before." Two-bit said as he sat on my lap, even though there was an open space between me and Johnny.

"Must you sit on me so early, when there is a perfectly good spot right next to me?"

"Yes." he said looking down at me.

"Well get off anyway because your bony butt is killer to my bruised skin." during training I have gained over twelve different bruises all over my body. All the guys think they are really tuff, except Dar. He just fusses over them, at first he thought I had been abused. He demanded that I told him who hit me, he didn't believe it was from training until I showed him the amount of them and the strange spots there were in. Like I have one on the top of my right foot, go figure.

Two-bit slid to the empty space next to me as Dally shuffled out of my room and sat in the armchair. He kept glancing at me, I couldn't see it because my shoes had suddenly become interesting, but I could feel them. His striking, burning stare with those ice cold eyes. I couldn't take it anymore so I quickly stood up and waited next to the door. "Pony hurry the hell up." I ordered to him.

"Shut up Lucy, it ain't like we're late or something." excuse? Excuse? Excuse? Oh yeah…

"Sorry, I just want to see if I made the team or not."

"Oh, sorry for barking at you." Pony said as he joined me at the door as I nodded.

"COATS!" Darry ordered as he put his on. My siblings and I all put on our coats and were followed out the door by the gang. My four friends and I squeezed into Steve's car and were off to school. I could breathe now, no more Dallas around. Leaning my head on the back of the seat Two-bit looked at me.

"You've acted strange this morning girly, what's up?"

"Just anxious about the tryouts."

"Well don't be, you did amazing last night." Johnny told me in his low voice. I smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks Johnnycakes." we listened to the music blasting the whole way to school, like everyday. After we parked I walked inside with Steve and Two-bit, we departed with Johnny and Pony because we were going different directions. Than Two-bit left to talk to some chick from last night, so Steve and me went to the locker we shared. He put in the combination while I leaned up against the locker. I glance around the hallway as I got grins, smirks, and dirty looks. Brian started walking up to me, pointing in my face."Hey Luc, how's my favorite greaser gal doin?" he was sarcastic. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Steve roll his eyes.

"Hey Brain, how's the fungus that you call your girl friend doin? Heard she wasn't doin so hot, being pregnant and all." Steve snickered handing me my notebook and taking my bag.

"What? She? Where?" I smiled evilly at him and he realized that I was just messing with him.

"Look who's talking, I was just trying to be friendly grease." He snarled at me as Julie came up behind him and hid in his armpit. She fits so perfectly there.

"So was I ape face." Okay I got that one from Two-bit, but still caused Steve to laugh since it was coming from me.

"Shut your mouth slut."

"I'm not the one who banged half of the varsity honey." I said turning and walking away with Steve, he whispered to me.

"Did she really?"

"Nearly half." he snickered again.

"I'll get you Curtis, you just wait." I waved behind me not looking back.

"Sure thing pal." Steve dropped me off at my literature class while he went off to biology, we only had one class together now that I'm no longer in his gym and that's fourth hour. Just as the bell rang Julie and her third ass cheek walked in. I mean, she walked in with Ruth and sat down in the front of the classroom. She popped her bubble gum and turned to look at me, she waved. With a good sneer I waved back, man I hate her.

Second hour was alright, just study hall with Two-y. We passed notes most of the time. Gossiping about his newest blond tramp, well in my words anyway. He kept mentioning Dallas being back but every time he did I ignored the statement. Third hour was slow as usual, geometry….yuck. Lunch with the gang was pleasant, while sitting at the table I read. Being interrupted, I got asked out by some hood named Jonathan. It's funny but I've never seen nor heard of him before. I still have feelings for Dallas, even if he is an asshole. Right now I don't exactly want a relationship, it is the last thing I need. Next to worrying about Dally, which is at the bottom of the to do list. Politely I declined, but he didn't get the message.

He just sat right next to me and started to lean into my face. I put my hand on his cheek and he started to put his on my thigh. He was getting awful close to my underwear as he rubbed his hand up my leg. Grabbing his ear I pulled him in a standing position and leaned into his face more. Our lips were almost connected as he closed his eyes. Without warning, in a strong and very firm grip I grabbed his manhood. Jonathan squealed in pain and I leaned into his ear, pulling hard on his jewels.

"Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again." he screamed out and everyone looked at us, including the guys. "You dig?"

Jonathan nodded furiously as I let his little man go free. Immediately he grabbed himself and shuffled away. A few people cheered as I sat back down and started to read again. Pony was the first to say something to me as he sat down next to me.

"What was that all about?"

"Mr. Pigheadedness made a mistake. No worries, I set him straight."

"What he do?" Steve said standing next to Ponyboy.

"Put his hand down my dress." I said looking back at my book. "But don't worry I made sure he can't have children anymore, so just forget about it."

I saw my kid brother's face flash with either anger or embarrassment, Steve definitely looked angry though. Really, I could care less if they wanted to get into a fight with the likes of him, be my guest. Fourth hour was hard to stand because it was pretty much the end of the day. Fifth was just as unbearable. As soon as the social studies teacher dismissed us with the bell, I ran out the door. Usually I'm the last to leave but not today, I had to know if I got on the team.

At the locker Steve had it already opened, I grabbed his hand and jumped up and down. "Come on, come on, come on!"

"Cool you jets Luc, I'm going as fast as I can." I sighed and let go of his hand tapping my foot. As one of his friends came up they shook hands and started to talk, I grunted at him. Steve turned around with a chuckle.

"Here take your stuff, met us by the tree." Sling the bag over my shoulder and holding my coat, I took off down the hall in a fast pace toward the office. In that hallway it was deserted since it was the end of the day and no lockers where down there. Seeing the paper from twenty feet away I jogged over there in excitement. With my pointer finger I scanned down the list. Madison Lucky, Bethany Smithing, Caroline Heartly, Lucile Curtis….I made it.

"YES!" jumping up in the air I shot down the hallway at a fast pace. The hallways were empty so I had no problem getting to the doors. Everyone was waiting by the tree; Pony, Steve, Two-bit and Johnny. I throw my bag at Steve who caught it.

"I made it!" they all cheered and slapped me on the back before I sped off in the other direction.

"Hey crazy, where are you going? We haven't even celebrated yet." Pony called after me.

"Tell Darry I'll be home for dinner. Gotta watch Georgia in a bit so I'll be there after I take care of something." I said with a giggled.

Man am I on a high or what. This is the best thing that has happened to me since forever, even before Mom and Dad passed. Running down the road I would giggle just out of sheer excitement. Eventually I made it to the cemetery and was standing in front of my parents graves. This time smiling down at them instead of having a freak out. Bending over I traced their names with my fingers.

"Hey." I bent down further as if someone was going to hear me.

"I did it. I'm on the team, I did it just for you Mom." closing my eyes a breeze flew passed me. Making my lose hairs from my braid brush over my face.

"I hope your proud of me now. I'm sorry I didn't do anything worth praising when you were alive, but now things are different." I smiled and kissed my palm than planted it onto the top of my mother's grave.

"Take it easy." I told her as I planted a kiss onto Dad's grave.

"Miss you, love you." I said looking into the distance. After a moment to taking in whatever there was to take in, I pulled the weeds around the grave. Than I walked out of the grave yard and down the street to the bus stop at the end of the road to pick up Georgia. I really do hope they are proud, I tried really hard. Just as I came onto the street, Georgia came off the school buts.

"Hi Georgia, how was your day?"

"Awesome! I made a butterfly today, see." she held up her purple and blue cut out of a butterfly.

"That's beautiful! Is that for your mama?""Hmm." she hummed a yes. "They are her favorite colors."

"She's going to love it." I said taking her hand as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Do you have homework?" I asked her.

"I have to read a little bit than do some math, you?" She is so intelligent, a lot smarter than the yahoos in this town.

"I've got geometry." frowning at her she giggled.

"I don't like math either." she said.

"Well it has to be done." we both giggled.

"Do you mind if we stop by my house before heading inside? I've gotta grab my stuff and a snack. Ya want one?" nodding with a giant smile we entered my gate to my house. I can't wait to tell Darry and Sodapop!