What Life Could Have Been
A/N: I have returned with a very, very long chapter for your readeing pleasure. I hope you enjoy! Updates will probably be more sporadic because I have started college...
A Year in the Life
July
Sirius stayed the month with Elise in France. She devoted her time to Soline, and when he was not with them, Sirius found that playing a game called soccer with the local adolescents was a pleasant distraction. But truthfully, he did spend most of his time with Elise and the little girl. He would chase her and play with her as Padfoot and fly around upside-down on his broomstick, which amused her to no end.
Elise was constantly surprised by the things Sirius was capable of. She would never have imagined that he would be so captivated by Soline, but here they were not a month out of Hogwarts and she had to keep reminding herself they weren't a little family. At least not yet. Elise found herself thinking of the afternoon by the lake on an almost daily basis as she and Sirius cared for Soline.
"You're such a different person when you're just with me," she commented one day. They had taken a picnic lunch out in the fields while Soline napped.
Sirius shrugged. "We're not at school anymore, makes sense to grow up."
Elise laughed. "Now that's something I never thought I'd hear you say."
"Is it so hard to believe I would finally realize I was in love with you after five years? I'm sure you realized it sooner than that…"
She smiled and leaned against him. "Not hard to believe. Just a relief I guess. You boys could be so single minded. No wonder it took Lily and James ages…"
Sirius toyed with a strand of her hair. "I wish we could stay here forever…"
August
They returned to England mid-August. Elise brought Sirius home with her to tell her parents about the engagement. They were delighted of course; they remembered Elise's summers spent away from Sirius vividly, especially the last one…
That night they met up with James, Lily, Remus and Peter for a 'night on London,' as James advertised. This simply consisted of dinner at the same Muggle sushi bar the four boys had discovered at the beginning of the summer. Apparently, it was a fascinating place that they frequented whenever they had the chance. Lily, being Muggleborn, did not find anything inherently interesting about sushi and laughed the whole evening as the others tried many dishes of questionable origin. The fortune cookies didn't have any particularly enlightening news this evening.
The only part of the evening that bothered Elise at all was the way James was acting. He kept shooting Remus and Peter meaningful looks which were received and returned with annoyance and confusion, respectfully. She couldn't quite place the kind of look he was giving them either, and she considered herself an expert on the looks of James Potter and Sirius Black after five long years. When she finally asked James if he was quite alright he just coughed and looked inconvenienced so she dropped it.
"Want to go for a walk? I know a nice neighborhood," Sirius asked once they had paid the bill and gone their separate ways.
"Sure."
They walked in silence for a long ways. Sirius took them past a quiet residential area where they didn't look out of place at all. The route through the neighborhood park was lined with fragrant flowers and crickets chirped in the hedges as the sun set and the street lamps came up.
"What do you think?" he asked as they turned out of the park and down a street flanked by charming little houses.
"This is a beautiful place, it feels magical at sunset. And the houses are adorable…" Elise trailed off, still looking around.
"Do you want to go inside one?"
"Sirius, do you really think that's wise?"
"Well, it's not wise, but it would be fun and I know you'd enjoy it. C'mon Ellie, we're wizards. We won't get caught."
She looked up and down the street; it was deserted. She sighed. "Okay, but you be careful when you pick one."
When he had picked an empty house, though she didn't know how he did it, Elise stepped cautiously over the threshold, afraid an alarm or something would go off.
"It's okay. I checked," Sirius said from the living room. "Come in here."
"This is the most beautiful house," she whispered. Elise happily explored the whole house, forgetting completely that they were trespassing.
"Muggle homes are so clean," she remarked to Sirius when she came back to the living room.
Sirius was lounging on the sofa, watching her closely as she moved to the mantelpiece and began examining the knick-knacks arranged there. Elise thought they were rather odd knick-knacks for a Muggle mantelpiece, but then she had never been to a Muggle home before. It was only when she got to the picture in the middle that her hand paused.
The picture was moving.
"Sirius," she whispered urgently. "Sirius this picture is moving. Muggles don't have moving pictures…"
He sat up. "Who's it of? Do we know them?" She shot him an angry look and re-examined the picture.
Elise gasped and dropped the picture. The glass cracked as it hit the floor.
"Careful," Sirius said. "That's a good picture."
He repaired the glass with a wave of his wand.
"Sirius, why are we in that picture?"
He grinned.
"What?" she pouted.
"I wanted it to be a surprise."
"What do you mean a surprise?"
"Welcome home, Ellie."
September
September was a great month. Elise found she was very suited to having her own home and she loved more than anything else being able to come home and have Sirius there, and vice versa. She loved cooking meals in her own kitchen and getting her own mail, their own mail. More than anything Elise loved waking up nestled in his arms, being able to lie in bed just listening to Sirius breathe in his sleep. Sometimes she felt clichéd but the feeling quickly vanished.
September was also when the Ministry began its annual Auror training program; both Elise and Sirius were very busy with that as well. They quickly found out that regardless of your OWL and NEWT scores you still had to do the boring theory work in training and both quickly tired of the paperwork that needed filing on a daily basis. At least they saw nearly everyone from Hogwarts who wasn't in Slytherin.
Finally, September was also the month when Albus Dumbledore called the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. All of the former Gryffindors were invited to the meeting and they noticed many others from their days at Hogwarts, though no Slytherins were among the familiar faces. Dumbledore had called the meeting because, in his words, they could no longer ignore the warning signs and action that the Ministry had not taken needed to be taken by someone else. It was a solemn affair and few besides Dumbledore spoke on the matter of the coming war. Elise held tightly to Sirius's hand throughout the meeting, pale-faced and attentive.
October
"Are we going to have candy for the Muggle children on Halloween?" Elise asked Sirius one morning.
"I hadn't thought about it. Couldn't we do something more fun, since we're wizards an all that?"
Elise considered this. "That could be fun, what would we do? Don't they usually say something about treats and then we give them candy?"
"Ellie, why do you think I know about Muggle traditions?"
She shrugged.
"But I'll give you a treat if you want," he said nonchalantly, pouring himself a glass of pumpkin juice. He looked at her from the corner of his eye.
"Why do you still do that? We're getting married; you can't offend me with your sexual innuendoes. Not that I found them particularly offensive in the first place…"
Sirius just shook his head.
"What?" she asked. "It's not like anyone could completely resist your shameless flirting. Now, are we getting some candy for the Muggle kids or not?" she repeated, crossing her arms and fixing him with a stern look.
"Ooh, I love it when you get angry with me. If I resist giving you an answer for another half-hour, will you punish me?" he taunted.
"Don't push your luck Sirius Black." She turned and left the kitchen.
He grinned, jumping off the kitchen counter and following her.
November
"I can't believe I'm getting married in a few weeks," Elise commented to Lily one afternoon.
Lily scoffed. "I can't believe James hasn't asked me yet. I honestly never thought Sirius would get it together before James, but I guess I was wrong."
"But he is going to ask you," Elise encouraged.
"If he doesn't do it soon I'm going to ask him. There's a war brewing! It's not like we can plan years into the future; who knows what'll happen."
Elise grimaced.
"Don't tell me you haven't had those same thoughts," Lily said.
"Of course I have. I just try to ignore them because I get really upset. And I don't like Sirius to know how much all of this Auror training and Order business scares me. I know he'd want to take me away if he knew how I felt."
"That's ridiculous, we're all scared."
Elise nodded, staring at the coffee table.
"You've sent out invitations already, right?"
"Most of them…"
"Having second thoughts?
"Lily! How could you say that? No, I'm still thinking about the uncertain future. It terrifies me."
"Can I help with wedding stuff to get it off your mind?"
Elise smiled. "Sure. Will you be my maid of honor?"
December
They were married December 9th in a small church in London. The ceremony sped by and all Elise could really remember was saying 'I do' and receiving a very passionate kiss right in front of her parents. The next thing she knew she was swirling around a dance floor in her husband's arms, positively beaming. She had quite a good time dancing and feeding Sirius cake and she wasn't at all surprised when Lily caught her bouquet and had to excuse herself because she was blushing to match her vibrant hair. James ran after her and neither was seen for quite a while.
"We never picked a place for our honeymoon. Where do you want to go?" Sirius asked. The evening was winding down and they were the only couple left on the dance floor.
"I don't care, I just need you."
He smiled and drew her closer.
"Although…"
"Yes?" he asked.
"I've heard rumors that the cloak closet is pretty cozy," she said innocently.
His eyes widened. "Have you had too much to drink?"
"What?"
"We could just go home," he tried to say seductively.
"Sirius Black has lost his sense of adventure now that he's tied the knot. I never thought I'd see the day. What am I going to do now that you're boring?" she said forlornly.
"Did you just say 'boring'?"
Elise batted her eyes at him. They had stopped dancing, not that anyone was paying any attention.
"C'est une possibilité, mon cher."
"Cheating."
"Quoi? Qu'est-ce que ce mot 'cheating'?"
Sirius sighed and jerked his head towards her desired destination.
"Who knew I'd develop a weakness for her French?" he grumbled as she danced ahead of him towards the cloak check in question.
January
Married life didn't feel remarkably different to Elise, with one obvious exception.
"What, every night?" Lily asked in astonishment.
Elise shrugged. "Mostly. Sometimes in the morning."
Lily gawked.
"Oh stop. I don't see any reason not to. I mean," she blushed, "he's so very good at it. Our banter somehow just naturally leads to…"
"Sex. All the time."
"Like you and James haven't fooled around. C'mon Lily. I'd like you to give me a believable answer as to where you disappeared to at my wedding."
Lily blushed.
"I thought as much," Elise said smugly, finishing her tea.
"Are you going so soon?" Lily asked.
Elise winked. "Why, of course. It's my birthday; I've got to be getting home."
February
"Damn."
"It's Valentine's Day, Sirius. What did you expect me to wear?"
"Um…something?"
March
Elise came home one day to a strange sight. Parked in front of the house was an odd shiny black…vehicle? It looked a little beat up. She knew it was Sirius's doing.
"Sirius?" she called, walking into the house. "Are you home?"
She climbed the stairs, hearing motion on the floor above.
"Oh! What happened?" she gasped when she saw him.
Sirius was in the bathroom cleaning a long scrape down the length of his arm.
He looked up when she came in and then back to what he was doing.
"Nothing, love. It'll be fine to heal once I've cleaned it."
"Were you attacked?"
He looked sheepish at her continued questioning, knowing he would not get off without answering.
"Well, I was riding that motorcycle out front. I'm not too good at it yet, but given some time I will be. What do you think?"
She blinked. "Motorcycle? Isn't that a Muggle vehicle? Sirius, why do you have a motorcycle?"
He shrugged. "It was cheap."
"So you mean to say, it was a passing fancy of yours and you just bought a motorcycle?"
"But Ellie, that's not the best part," he said excitedly.
"What's the best part then?"
"It can fly!"
"Oh for Merlin's sake! Why on Earth would you want a flying motorcycle?"
"Well if you want to look at it that way, first of all, wizards don't ride motorcycles, so I'll be relatively safer from Dark Wizards. Secondly, if they do show up, I can fly!"
She shook her head. "Why do I love you so much? You're just going to get yourself killed…"
He finished cleaning his wound and muttered a spell to heal it. "Good as new. I promise I won't get killed."
"But look what you did to your arm!"
Sirius picked up his torn and grubby shirt. "Will you mend this for me? I've never been good with the spell and I like this shirt a lot."
Elise was leaning against the doorway, contemplating what to do with him.
"Are you still mad? I love you, you know, even though I do reckless stuff."
"I can't decide whether your recklessness is attractive or annoying," she said from the doorway.
"I can help if you like," he said, coming to stand by her.
"What? And go do something more dangerous? I don't think so. I just might have to put you under house arrest until you learn how to mend clothes by magic."
"I'm a fast learner, what will we do with the rest of the day?"
"I'll think of something. Maybe I can teach you to cook!"
"Ellie…"
April
Sirius and Elise arrived home from the latest Order meeting in silence. Neither spoke until they were in bed, or rather Sirius was in bed and Elise was sitting on the covers next to him staring at the opposite wall.
"Ellie…?"
"Please don't do it," she whispered.
He sat up and put his arms around her.
"You don't have to," she said, burying her face in his chest.
"Be reasonable. It's a very important mission. Besides, no one but you, James, Remus and Peter know that I'm an Animagus. I'll be able to conceal myself quite well."
She cried softly and shook her head.
"You've been worrying about something like this for a while, haven't you?"
She nodded. "For months."
"I know the whole situation is dangerous, and I wish there was a different way. I just don't think there is." He paused, took a moment to comfort her and continued, "I think it would be safer if you went and stayed with your cousins for a few months. It'll be over the summer just like before…"
Elise looked up at him, horrified. "You want me to leave you?"
"I want you to be safe. I don't want anyone to hurt you to try to get to me."
"I'd never let you do that."
"You wouldn't have a choice; you know I'd do anything to protect you. Please. You'll feel better with your cousins. As far as the Order knows, the danger is only here."
Elise opened her mouth to argue but Sirius silenced her with a kiss. She sighed into his touch, eager to occupy her mind with more engaging activities.
May
The first few days in France were difficult for Elise. Most of the chateau was empty this early in the summer. She spent most of her days in the library, reading difficult books in French to keep her mind busy; though even this could not keep her from thinking of Sirius indefinitely. Elise made herself sick with worry on many occasions, often waking in a panic to find him not there.
When Manon and Julien arrived with Soline for the summer, Elise had mixed feelings. Seeing the darling girl brought back memories of the previous summer, though she had grown so much that Elise had to be on her toes all day just to keep up with her. All in all it was better that they were there.
June
As the summer progressed more and more members of Elise's extended family arrived at the chateau. She was able to escape her anxieties for most of the day, surrounded by people, but her mornings and nights were not improving. She was restless and sleep deprived and often had no appetite for all the nausea her worry caused.
One day when she had not appeared by mid-afternoon, Manon went to her room and knocked softly on the door.
"Elise? Elise, are you okay?"
She opened the door when she did not get a response.
Elise lay in bed crying softly, her well-loved copy of Les Misérables clutched in her hand.
"Elise, ma chérie, what is the matter?" Manon asked, coming to sit at her side.
"I'm so worried. I miss him so much and we can't have any contact. I just…I…," she managed, wiping at her tear-stained cheeks.
Manon hugged her, stroking her hair. "It will be okay, chérie. He will come back to you."
Elise nodded, still crying.
"Are you okay physically? You're not sick or anything, are you? I could have a doctor here by this evening if you think you might be ill. Or I could make you a potion. Please, let me help you."
Elise wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I can't think of anything. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary lately, unless excessive crying and worry can make you sick."
"Maybe you're just depressed. Sunlight will make you happier," Manon suggested.
A look of realization spread over Elise's face.
"Oh," she said quietly.
"What? What did you remember? Elise…?"
She was quickly counting on her fingers and did not answer her cousin.
"Elise…"
If a face could be both overjoyed and miserable at the same time, then Elise's was a perfect example. In a tiny voice Manon could barely hear she said, "I think I'm pregnant."
A/N: Gasp!
FRENCH TRANSLATIONS
"C'est une possibilité, mon cher."/ It's a possibility my dear.
"Quoi? Qu'est-ce que ce mot 'cheating'?"/ What? What is this word 'cheating'?
Ma chérie/ my dear