So I did change the title for this story from All the Colors on the Canvas, to The Secrets She Keeps, since it fits the overall plot better! Just wanted to throw it out there! Also for some reason reviews weren't showing up for the last chapter, I hope that gets fixed so I can see the ones left for this one! Some big things happening in this chapter! I won't spoil it for you by giving you any details. The only thing I will say is that there is descriptive and brutal violence in this chapter! You have all been warned! I DO NOT OWN TRANSFORMERS!

(Sunny's POV)

"Where the frag is she?" I muttered to myself as I paced through the living room.

Athena had left to go to the market two joors ago, and while the list she had was large, it shouldn't have taken her this long to make it back. If anything she should have been back a groon ago at the latest! At this rate I was going to have to go out looking for her!

There was just no way it should have taken her this long to get back! I wasn't doing a very good job keeping my emotions from seeping through the twin bond either.

(Sunny? What's got you so worked up bro?)

(Athena's late coming back from the market. I should have gone with her!) Instead I'd wanted some time alone to work on a new piece…

(She's probably fine bro. You know how busy the market can get sometimes! She probably just got held up in the lines.)

(She would have commed me to let me know she'd be late.)

(Not necessarily. Maybe she didn't think of it?)

(I think I'm going to go look for her anyways. I need to make sure she's okay.)

(Alright. Let me know when you find her.)

(I will.)

With that I made my way out onto the street and transformed, before making the short drive to the market district. Upon making it there it was clear that Sides was right and it was very crowded. Bots were milling about in large groups near the stands, and quite a few others were making their way up and down the streets.

I transformed and quickly pushed my way through the crowd with the intent to visit the stands and stores that I knew Athena was going to visit today. I was no tracker, and the best place that I could think to start at were the places I knew she would have gone to.

Hopefully somebot would remember having seen her and could point me in the right direction.

First stop: The pet store.

When I made my way inside there weren't many bots milling around, and the counter was being overseen by a black, lanky looking young Polyhexian mech with blue optics. He looked up when I approached. "Can I help you with something?"

"Did you happen to see a purple and gold Praxian femme come in here yet today?"

He nodded. "Yeah she was in here about half a joor ago buying supplies for stream gliders I believe."

I turned away without another word since I knew Athena wouldn't have told anybot else where she was going next. From what she had told me before leaving, she was going to the pet store, energon stall, detailing store, and then to the art store. It looked like I would have to systematically check all those places.

With that thought in helm, I made my way back onto the street and made a beeline for the energon stall that Athena liked to get her weekly reserves from due to all the different flavors they had. It wasn't a very busy place normally, and today was no different evidently from the lack of bots standing around the stall.

It made it easy to just walk right up to the older mech running the stand. "Excuse me!"

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Did you happen to see a purple and gold Praxian femme stop by today?"

"Ah yes! You're talking about Athena yes?"

"Yeah I am."

"She stopped by not too long ago… maybe around half a joor or so. We talked a bit while she perused what I had in stock, and then she bought her reserves and left."

"Did she say where she was going?"

"The detailing store."

Figures… Frag it all to the pit! I was just going to assume that I'd get the same answer there and save time by just skipping to the art store instead of wasting time stopping at the detailing store.

I turned and sprinted through the crowd, pushing passed anybot that got in my way. For some reason I just had a really bad feeling that something was wrong that I couldn't quite place. I had to find her! I had to know that she was safe!

The door of the art store actually slammed against the wall as I rushed inside, startling Lithium who was busy stocking shelves.

"Sunstreaker? What are you doing here?"

"Have you seen Athena yet today?"

She stood up and approached me. "Yes I have. She stopped in for a while, bought some paint and brushes, then she left. That was about… a groon and a half ago?"

"Did she say that she was going anywhere else after she left here?"

She pursed her lips in thought. "Why yes as a matter of fact she did. I believe she was planning to go refuel at the café that she frequents often. Why? Is something wrong?"

I turned and ran out without answering her.

Why didn't she comm me to let me know that she was going to the café? If I got there and she was fine after making me worry for the last few joors… I was going to chain her to the berth and never let her leave the housing unit again!

As soon as I hit the road I transformed and took off towards the café we liked to frequent. I had to calm myself down! She'd be there safe and sound, and I would have to admit that I'd blown everything out of proportion… Everything would be fine…

If I really did believe that why didn't I ease off the gas until I screeched to a stop in front of the café, where I transformed before racing inside? As with everywhere else it wasn't busy inside the café. Only a few waitresses and patrons were milling about, along with Zenarith who was standing behind the counter running the register.

I walked passed her to look into all of the booths, and like with everywhere else I'd gone today Athena was nowhere in this building from what I could tell. Where the frag could she be?!

"Ah Sunstreaker! It's nice to see you!"

I turned to look at Zenarith who had approached me from behind. "Have you seen Athena today?"

She nodded. "Yes as a matter of fact I have. She just left about a breem ago."

I sighed. "Did she say that she was going anywhere else after?"

"She said that she was going home."

"Ok thanks." With that I turned and exited the café. Ok so she should be fine… she was just running late, and when I got back she'd be in the prep room putting things away. "Yeah… she's fine."

At least I was hoping so, but when I passed by a dark alleyway I noticed something laying discarded on the ground. I slowed to a stop and turned towards it, optics widening when I realized that it was the bright red tote bag that Sides had given her to carry her things in, and that happened to include groceries.

Upon closer inspection it appeared that the contents were spilled all over the ground… Meaning something had happened and I wasn't crazy for worrying about her!

I opened my mouth to call out for her when the sound of something crashing to the ground echoed from somewhere further down the alley. But it was the feminine yelp of pain that had me rushing towards the sound as something that I hadn't felt in a long time stirred… My vision bled red, my systems started overheating as something akin to feral rage encompassed my spark. My denta sharpened, and my plating bristled as my hold on sanity started slipping.

I stumbled onto something that made the last bit of restraint I had snap like a rubber band. Because the sight of the majority of my femmefriend's armor laying haphazardly discarded on the dirty ground, while a tall, lanky, black Polyhexian mech had her pinned against the wall with one servo covering her mouth, and the other attempting to yank off the last barrier between her valve and his exposed spike, enraged me like very little could.

Sides wasn't here to help me fight it this time.

Nobot was here to stop the events that were about to occur.

And I didn't care enough to stop myself from succumbing to the energon lust that made me want to rip everything apart. In this case the mech who was trying to rape Athena.

I opened my mouth and released an enraged roar, charging at the mech at the same moment that he looked up at me in surprise and fear. He let go of her and turned to flee, but I bowled him over from behind, pinning him face down on the ground.

He was going to die…

(Athena's POV)

I don't know what happened… One moment I was minding my own business, and the next some mech snatched me off the street, forcing me to drop my bag of groceries as I attempted to fight him off… but my old fears came back… and I couldn't do a thing to stop him. I just froze, and before I realized what had happened he was ripping my armor off, even as more memories of the same thing occurring flashed through my processor, making me feel weak and useless…

Filling me with old fear and self-loathing.

But then Sunny had shown up out of nowhere and tackled my attacker. Now I sat huddled against the wall, shaking and watching what was happening in front of me.

I'd never seen him like this before…

Optics glowing white, stream drifting up in thick plumes from his vents…

He jabbed a knee into the other mech's back strut while he was pinned face first on the ground, then he latched onto his upper arms and yanked back with enough strength that his bicep armor bulged out from the strain.

But he seemed not to care as he ripped the mech's arms clean out of their shoulder sockets, sending energon spewing up onto his face and chassis while he growled like a rabid cyber-animal. Some spilled onto the ground as well, quickly forming a large puddle around the mech as his thrashing caused more to flow through his systems more quickly, while he screamed so loud that his vocalizer exploded in a shower of sparks.

Sunny seemed not to notice or care… Instead he got up and dropped the mech's arms on the ground before walking down towards his legs… And he reared back and slammed his peds onto the area where the hydraulic system was built into the thigh, with enough force to completely decapitate the legs…

I whimpered, even if it was not out of fear of him. I couldn't explain why, but I just wasn't afraid that he would hurt me. But seeing this reminded me of so many things that I never wanted to think about. Things that I wanted to forget forever, but that were thrust in my face today.

But I couldn't move to make him stop… I could only sit there and watch as he flipped the half dead mech onto his back, and ripped at his chest plates and abdominal armor until he literally shredded it… exposing the internal cables and systems, more energon spurting up from the wounds to join the huge puddle already on the ground. Some had even reached me and was coating my aft and legs…

He reached inside of the mech's internals and yanked the squirming internal cabling out, gripping it in both servos and tearing at it until the mech's optics scrunched up in even more agony. He ripped more out, bringing it up and wrapping it around the other mech's neck so that he could lasso him and pull on his own cabling to suffocate him with it.

No remorse… His optics continued to blaze a crazed white.

He wasn't stopping.

He wasn't slowing down.

He just kept going.

Turning to use one servo to beat the mech's helm in with his own severed limb, shattering his optics, and denting it so far in with one blow that I was sure he died instantly at that moment, because his entire frame went completely still. And then within astroseconds it started turning gray…

But Sunny didn't stop. He turned to tearing the frame apart piece by piece…

Until there was nothing left but scraps and energon splattered all over the ground. And still he persisted in continuing to mutilate what was left…

I stood up to approach him on shaky legs. "Sunny stop."

He looked up at me with another servo poised to strike the puddle of remains.

I reached out and grabbed hold of it, gently lowering it. "He's dead. It's ok."

He turned and bared his denta at the dead mech, growling low in his chassis.

I stepped over him and lowered myself down onto his lap, curling up and pressing my face against the energon splattered plating there. "Please stop."

His arms locked around me as his venting picked up in speed, along with the whine of his racing systems. After a moment his hold tightened. "Athena?"

I pulled away to look up at his now clear blue optics. "Are you okay?"

He looked around dazedly for a moment, before his optics landed on the deceased frame behind me. "I went berserk."

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm okay."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. You got here before…"

His grip on me tightened. "Good. We need to go before somebot comes to see what the commotion was about."

"Ok." With that we got up, I put my armor back on while he quickly took care of the energon stains all over himself, then together we recovered my bag and hurriedly left the scene of the incident.

During the trek back to the housing unit I clung to his side and he kept an arm wrapped around my shoulder. I was thankful for it because I was still really shaken up over what had happened… or almost happened. It was something that I had never wanted to experience again… and being so close to it again… terrified me…

That was why I had myself pressed so tightly to his plating that I was sure we'd both end up chipped at the point of connection. I kept myself there even as we made it onto the street where the housing unit was, where the first thing I saw was Sides racing down the street towards us in a panic.

He nearly toppled us over. "SUNNY! PRINCESS!"

As soon as he did that I latched onto him and pulled him closer so that I could bury my face into his middle.

"What happened? Are you okay? Is Princess okay? I felt you go berserk over the bond!"

"Let's go inside and I'll explain there."

Sides just slid around on my other side and pressed a servo to the small of my back as the two led me into the housing unit without another word. They locked the door and pushed me through the entryway towards the living room.

"Are you really okay Athena?" Sunny asked as we stepped into the living room.

I looked down and nodded, servos tightening their hold on the strap of my tote bag. "I'm… going to go put this stuff away." With that I shrugged their servos off and turned to go into the prep room.

They didn't follow me, which I was actually thankful for. Because I didn't want them to see the way coolant pooled in my optics, or how it spilled down my cheeks as I tried distracting myself by sorting the energon cubes to put in their proper places. It was monotonous, yet it did nothing to actually serve the purpose for doing it.

I still cried regardless.

The memories of the past still overwhelmed me.

And I ended up slumping against the counter because of it.

Feeling weak once more.

Always the victim at somebot else's mercy.

That's all I would ever be…

I'd just keep causing the twins trouble if I stayed with them. As it was Sunny could be prosecuted for murdering that mech… even if he just did it to protect me…

It was all my fault…

I bowed my helm, digging the sharp tips of my digits into the countertop until it gave way beneath, leaving smooth gouges in the surface. So deep in my thoughts was I, that I jolted when somebot pressed themselves against my back and red arms slid around my front to keep me locked in place.

"Sunny told me what happened. Are you okay Princess?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, but even doing so didn't make my next words sound any less meek. "Yes I'm fine."

He turned me around until I was facing him. His expression was one of concern, optics far more serious than they normally were, mouth set in a firm line. "I don't think you are."

"Sides I'm fine. Sunny got there before he made it that far." Thank Primus for that…

He just stared at me without saying anything.

I went to turn away. "I need to get everything put away."

"I'll do the rest."

"No that's ok. I can do it."

He tugged me over to the entryway. "I can do it. You can take your pretty little aft upstairs and get in the tub so that you can relax and clean yourself up." And with that he gently shoved me out into the hallway.

Leaving me standing there doing nothing…

Until Sunny rounded the corner separating the living room from the hallway and prep room. "Didn't Sides just tell you to go take a bath and relax?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you standing there staring at the wall?"

I shrugged.

He gently took my upper arm and tugged me up the stairs and into the wash racks. Once inside he shut the door and moved over to fill the tub with hot solvent, working silently while I stood near the counter watching.

After a moment he turned and started taking his armor off. "Take your armor off and we'll put it in the buffing machine."

I slowly did as I was told, and he gathered all the pieces up before shoving them into the receptacle. Once it was loaded up he hit the on cycle, and then he turned and coerced me into the warm bath. I hadn't really paid any attention until now, but there was dried, caked energon staining my protoform…

Just like… all those times…

Only this time the energon wasn't mine… But that didn't make it itch any less now that I remembered its' presence. I couldn't resist the urge to take a rag and started scrubbing at each spot meticulously, almost in a crazed manner.

I scrubbed…

And scrubbed…

And scrubbed some more…

Until the nanites making up my protoform turned from a pristine white, to a dark splotchy gray from the pressure I was exerting. But even then I continued rubbing at myself, long after the stains had disappeared.

"Athena."

A whimper escaped me as more images of energon spilled all over me invaded my processor.

"Athena stop."

Coating my chassis…

"Athena!"

Abdominal armor…

"Dammit femme!"

More on my thighs… Leaking down my legs from the source…

"Are you listening to me?!"

Splattered across my back, leaking down from the soft spot between my wings that was torn open…

Servos suddenly clamped down on my wrists, ripping a startled scream from my vocalizer as my helm whipped back with such force that I clipped it against the wall.

"Whoa easy Athe!"

I vented harshly, trying to calm myself down so that I could focus on the here and now. So that I could focus on Sunny staring down at me with my servos caught in his grasp. My mouth opened and closed a few times as I struggled to say something… "Sorry."

He pulled me against his chassis. "Don't be. I just didn't want you to hurt yourself any more than you already have. You were scrubbing so hard that you bruised your protoform."

"Oh."

"Yeah." The padded contours of his servos trailed up and down the middle of my back. "You're okay. You don't have to be afraid anymore. We're at home and you're safe."

I slowly wrapped my arms around his back, even though it didn't feel as right as it normally did. How could it when what happened today had forced me to remember every dirty little detail of everything that I had been forced to endure at the servos of others?

It made me feel dirty and disgusting… Like the fact that I had at least come into this relationship while pure of spark didn't matter, because my frame was too soiled for it to really make a difference. Pit, if it had been possible to take advantage of me in that way without killing me, it would have been done.

If leaving me pure there had no real purpose… it would not have remained so.

I would have had nothing real to offer these two… and even then, the fact that I had given them that didn't really seem as important anymore.

Because I was still too soiled to be worth anything…

(Sunny's POV)

Sides came downstairs after disappearing a while ago to take Athena some spiced energon. "She fell into recharge… the light sedatives I put in her energon should hopefully keep her from having nightmares." He plopped down beside me on the couch, for once leaving the remote and gaming equipment untouched.

I just stared at him, because the inkling I had the other day made complete sense now… and he knew the whole time. I wasn't mad per se, but I did wish that he'd told me earlier. "You knew that she was our sparkmate and you didn't tell me."

He sighed quietly. "I wanted you to figure it out on your own. If I just told you it might have made you want to fight it… Primus knows that you don't like feeling like you have no choice in certain situations."

"But I wouldn't have cared this time Sides! Who would willingly turn down finding their perfect mate? Primus! Do you think I'm that stupid?!"

"I don't think you're stupid… just stubborn. You don't like having things pointed out to you. Instead you like working things out for yourself."

"Sides… I found out when I went berserk over some mech trying to rape her! I'd rather have found out some other way, you know, when I wasn't traumatizing her by ripping some mech apart in front of her!"

He winced. "I know… But at least she doesn't seem scared of you."

"Yet. What if she-!"

His helm whipped around, optics narrowed. "She's not going to be afraid of you! If she was scared we'd know it!"

I slumped forward, elbow joints resting on my knees, and my face cupped in my servos. "I don't want to scare her off." I admitted quietly.

"You won't."

"I don't want to be the one to screw everything up again."

"You haven't screwed anything up yet! Just give everything time to settle and you'll see that everything is ok."

Leaning back, I let my helm fall back against the couch. "What do we do now? This was… never really supposed to happen Sides. I mean what are the odds? It's uncommon for a normal bot to find their true sparkmate, but for split sparks it's unheard of."

"But it did happen." He pointed out.

"Yeah… As crazy as it is… we're lucky to have found her."

He nodded as his mouth spread in a wide grin. "We're going to have a sparkmate…"

Our own sparkmate… A kind of love that could be matched by nothing else… To find somebot that was literally fated to meet and be with you from the time their spark first came into the world… I never dreamed that it would happen to us.

"What now Sides? What are we supposed to do?"

"Propose to her? I've checked into Praxian courting rituals, and I know exactly what we need to do! There's a jewelry store that has a really nice Dephronite! Ya know, like a blue diamond?"

I just stared at him. "You really were way ahead of me weren't you?"

"Absolutely. I've known for a while. If we want to do things by her rituals we need to propose to her by giving her a shiny object, then if she accepts we take that object back and use it to make something for her. I was thinking a crown engraved with gems, and adorned with the Dephronite in the middle."

That sounded nice… "Maybe something that compliments her chevron? It could curve underneath and then come up through the center?"

"Yeah. You can do some sketches for designs!"

"I will. What do you think of having parlimons engraved around the Dephronite?"

"That's perfect! We can go out and… wait… when do you think we should ask her?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Cuz you're supposed to be smarter than me."

Well I couldn't argue with that… I was smarter. "Well the sooner we ask her, the sooner we can stop skirting around the subject and bond."

"So soon then?"

"On our next day off we'll go get the Dephronite."

"We got enough in savings?"

"Yeah. If we have to take a little extra out, I'll actually see about doing some commissions to make some extra credits."

"Sounds like a plan."

My spark pulsed…

That sounded like a good plan…

R&R! So don't hate me for this because it's really not that bad in comparison to what's going to happen later! This story will get dark, very dark. Just a fair warning to anyone that doesn't like disturbing content.