Guys. Guys. GUYS. I'm alive. I took months to upload. MONTHS. /cries/

I'm so sorry! I had to move, and I got into high school, and now I'm tutoring geometry and I have so much homework and life just got so hard.. /sniff/ Also I got nail polish on my keyboard. Kaminari, you're a failure. Tsk.

Oh, by the wayyyyy...

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

thank you inazuma kaiten! *:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*

So.. I should probably tell you guys what's up in my totally swagtastic life. WELL...

Uh..

Hm..

/awkwardly ends author's note/

PS: you have TheHiddenDreamer to thank for this chapter. otherwise I might've waited a couple more months to upload~~

PPS: this is unedited pls no attack pls be nice to me ;-;

Bubbles. Oh god, there were so many. So many. I think I might've gotten carried away. Unfortunately, it was something I couldn't help. The more and more I practiced, the cooler and cooler my bubbles got. Soon, I was able to make shapes out of them, and even later than that, I unlocked the ability to make actual objects out of my bubbles. It was like, so awesome-sauce that soon my apartment was filled completely with rainbow-y bubbles and iridescent kunai knives (that I had skillfully crafted with my cool jutsu).

Ramen was hopping around, lunging for bubbles and popping them. I felt pretty good about myself, since I managed to entertain my cute little bear with deadly and sparkly bubbles. Calling it the best thing ever wouldn't be far from the truth. I was pretty tempted to tell Gaara about my achievements, but refrained from doing so, because my superior knowledge and wisdom told me otherwise. It would certainly be a lot more badass if Gaara and I were cornered by a bunch of goons and I miraculously defeated them all without any help whatsoever. Imagine the look on Gaara's face when I reveal that I, Ayumi Akahana, possessed the abilities of the gods!

Oh man, I'm just so cool I can barely stand myself sometimes.

After a couple hours of ~magical moments~, I proceeded to fall asleep. Right there, on the floor. I just fell asleep. It was super weird but I didn't have time to think that it was super weird because I just passed out.

When I woke up later that day, I realized that I probably shouldn't pull an all-nighter practicing my jutsu because I still didn't have the amazing endurance all the other ninja had. Also, when I woke up later that day, my hair got tangled in the locket Misaki gave me and that really sucked because I had to wrestle with it for about fifteen minutes. When I finally pulled it free, I heard a knock on the door, because people are always knocking on my door.

I dismissed the knocking, because I was starving, and amazing, beautiful kunoichi like me don't deserve to starve. I made myself some ramen, but the knocking persisted, until finally, Kira-chan knocked down my door. Right off its hinges.

I was about to scream the signature Ayumi scream. But no KYAAAAAAAAA~ came out. Instead, like a moron, my face fell into my ramen in shock.

"OH MY GOD THAT'S HOT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD KIRA-CHAN HELP ME I'M DYING," was what I ended up screaming instead.

"Ayumi, you're supposed to be training right now." Kira narrowed his eyes at me sadistically, probably enjoying my agony.

"NO YOU DON'T GET IT!" I shrieked. "MY FACE IS MELTING OFF AS WE SPEAK I SEE THE LIGHT KIRA-CHAN I SEE THE LIGHT."

"Then don't look at it." Kira-chan rolled his eyes before taking away my ramen and dumping it down the sink. "We have training to do. The Kazekage will be sorely disappointed if we don't train," he notified with importance.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME DO YOU NOT SEE MY FLESH BEING SEARED OFF BY THIS BOILING LIQUID, YOU ASSHOLE?!"

"I suppose I'll just call Kazekage-sama in here so he can see you behave like a little Genin." Kira-chan sniffed.

I paused. "You do realized being a Genin would be an improvement for me, right? Seeing as I am below the rank of a Genin?"

"Oh, god.." Kira-chan burst into laughter. "That's right, I almost forgot what a pathetic kunoichi you are! Fifteen years old, and not even a Genin!"

I glared at Kira-chan with all the ferocity I could manage, but that only made him laugh harder.

"Look at the little Ayumi trying to scare me! Not even a Genin, honestly!"

"Kira-chan you're bullying me!" I finally wailed. "Stop iiiiit!"

"Always so whiny.." Kira-chan abruptly stopped his teasing to grumble about my behavior.

"Kira-chan, you suck!" I whimpered, gingerly touching my face.

"Come on, we have to train."

I sighed and followed him, face still wet. When I remembered that I had super awesome ninja powers, however, I brightened up. I'd show Kira-chan that I was far more superior! It would be the best thing ever! HAHAHAHHAHA!

We got to the training field in a matter of minutes. I was already hopping around in excitement. There was no way Kira-chan would feel an ounce of disappointment with me once he witnesses the awesome power of my super cool jutsu!

"Now, then," he began. "Show me what you've practiced so far."

I put all my focus into the jutsu where I made a super sweet kunai knife out of my bubbles. I knew Kira-chan would like that one, since he had this weird fascination with sharp objects that all ninja seem to harbor. Without stumbling, I formed my hand seals, which were different than the ones Kira-chan had showed me the other day, of course. I took the liberty of experimenting with my bubbles.

After a few seconds, a little yellow bubble began to form in my palm. I concentrated the best I could, slowly morphing it into a kunai with my super secret mind powers. I didn't even have time to study Kira-chan's reaction, because I was too busy making the best possible bubble I could. After a few more long seconds, the bubbles popped and revealed a shiny new kunai in my hand. It was so awesome.

I finally looked up at Kira-chan, who was standing there with him mouth wide open. A little fly buzzed around his face before finally entering his mouth and down his throat, which managed to snap him out of his weird little trance. With a fit of violent coughs, Kira-chan finally turned back to me.

"Ayumi, where on earth did you manage to learn that?" He breathed.

"I don't know, I kinda just.. Did it." I shrugged, feeling too proud of myself to have to offer an explanation. "Pretty cool, right? Right? You think Gaara-kun would like that? Would he, would he?" I stood on my tippy toes, trying to look as cute as possible. Just for the moment.

"That's not what's important right now!" Kira-chan snapped. He looked really stressed out.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Kira-chan seemed really disheartened. "I.." I choked up.

"What?"

"I was wrong." He finally said. "Somehow, you have amazing potential."

"How is this a bad thing?" I wondered, screaming on the inside form the praise I got from my asshole of a mentor.

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD NINJA!" He cried. "YOU DON'T QUALIFY AS A GOOD KUNOICHI."

"Wow. Hurtful." I gave him an upset look, hoping to move him. It didn't work. Instead, dear old Kira-chan continued his rant.

"Honestly, it's like the universe is all messed up," he muttered. "Fangirls obsessed with teddy bears and awkward stories aren't supposed to be this talented."

"I'm talented?!" I squealed. "I mean, I always knew I was special, because come on, look at me. But to hear it from another ninja, it's so great! You should compliment me more, Kira-chan. It's pretty obvious I deserve it."

He shot me a disdainful glare, but I kept going, much like he always did. "Seriously, I bet you feel so dumb right now. All that time you doubted me and my abilities.." I sighed happily. "This is truly a great day for me. For the Great and Powerful Ayumi Akahana! Soon enough, I'll have my own kingdom! I'll be more powerful than all the Kages combined! And you, Kira-chan, will be my dutiful servant!"

"I don't want to be your dutiful servant.." Now it was Kira-chan's turn to look downcast. "I'm supposed to be the dictator of the universe.."

"There's only room for one ruler of the universe." I challenged. "Let's fight to determined out worth!"

Kira-chan looked excited. "Yes, let's! But beware, I shall beat you!"

This was the dumbest thing I had ever done. Ever. Okay, maybe not that stupid.

"I won! I won!" Kira-chan cackled. You'd think he's be more mature, seeing as he's the adult.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I let you win." I scoffed.

"You are inferior!" Kira-chan grinned. He actually looked kinda cute when he was so happy. Like Ramen cute. Awh..

Since I'm a great persona and didn't want to ruin his fun, I played along.

"Yeah, I am totally inferior.." I said dully.

This little charade went on for a while, until Kira-chan stopped being happy and turned all mean and serious all over again.

"AYUMI. GET TRAINING. WHY ARE YOU WASTING ALL THIS TIME WITH YOUR TRIVIAL LITTLE MATTERS?!"

Yup, that sounded like the normal Kira-chan.

That was a super bad super short chapter what is wrong with me. Once again, say thanks to TheHiddenDreamer and stuff. MAYBE I'LL UPLOAD IN TIME FOR MY FIRST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL :D

bluh bluh bluh anyone here a fan of homestuck

hOnK :o)

bluh bluh Kaminari is OUT.