It Takes Time
By: Le tired
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters, blah blah blah, etc.
Rated: T for some language and…stuff?
Author's Notes: Yay another chapter. Wow these last two chapters were so hard to write, I went in so many directions before finally settling on this one; I was tempted to make the massage in the last chapter into a super sexy massage, but instead…I've decided to introduce some emotional conflict! …but only a little, because...it takes time (ahahahaha I'm a riot…not). I'm still not entirely satisfied with the second part of the chapter, it's a little wordy and disrupts the flow of the story, in my opinion. On the other hand, hey it's a fanfic and more about enjoying ourselves than literary correctness, so I went ahead and verbosed it up. The idea of what might happen if they encountered the same event that caused them to meet in the first place again just tickled me…I guess I like situational irony/symmetry? And I thought it would be a good chance to examine how far they might have come since then. Anyways, enjoy! And thanks one last time to everyone who expressed concerns and well wishes for my health. I was really amazed at the outpouring of kindness from people, and it absolutely warmed the cockles of my heart :).
bandgirlz: Oh yeah definitely, canon rehash chapters can be real challenging to write, especially when it's an action part, and you know there's really nothing additional going on besides fighting. On the other hand, having those canon scenes in there gives a framework and can make it easier for readers to see what you're describing. I think that's why writing fanfics is easier than writing an entirely new story, the background and characters is already established for you. Haha but I know what you mean, I've read some bad rehash chapters too, so I'm glad mine wasn't too boring!
sagitgirlth: Haha that's funny, I was pretty embarrassed when I wrote that scene when he took her hands. Literally, I was squirming in my seat while typing, and I almost took it out, but I guess it came out well in the end! And now you can find out what Matsumoto thought about the whole thing!
Prince of Winter Dragons: Thanks! I'm glad you got what I was trying to write about the rooftop scene. I also think one of the nice things about their relationship is how easily they blend friendship, love, and professionalism. It shows discipline and selflessness and maturity to be able to separate personal and work matters, and I think they're one of the Bleach couples that do it best :).
The Quiller: Thank you for the review! You are indeed correct, I'm gearing up for the Hitsugaya-Hinamori talk, and super excited about it! Haha I still wonder if I should have steamed up the massage some more, but it felt a little clichéd (isn't it like a porno plot? :P), and yeah, I thought it'd be a good time to bring Hinamori up a little, because there's no denying she still means a huge deal to Hitsugaya.
WindMiko: Wow thank you that's such a huge compliment! I always feel I don't deserve it, but I'll work even harder to keep these chapters a good read for you all! Thanks again, I really appreciate it!
: Aww I'm glad you liked that chapter. It's been what, two years since I started this, so it's always cool to be reminded about older scenes. Thanks so much!
Kohryu: Haha yes he should have. Oh well, hopefully he makes it up to her in the next few chapters! ^_~
Chapter 24
Matsumoto sighed as she gave herself another little push and swung higher in the playground swing she'd parked herself on approximately one hour ago. Or was it two hours? She hadn't exactly been keeping track of time since she'd excused herself from Orihime's apartment.
Mouuu…things had been going so well. Where did it all go wrong? She looked up at the slowly setting sun and its rays blazing their way across the reddening late afternoon sky. No answer. …well, she hadn't really been expecting one.
She supposed she ought to be happy the massage had gone as well as it had. That she had somehow actually got her prudish taichou to undress and suffer through a touchy-feely massage was a miracle in and of itself. And then he'd held her hands, stroked them, spoken so gently and tenderly to her…while half-naked, inches from her, and wearing that strangely super sexy look of his when he was super earnest. If Matsumoto didn't know better, she'd think he wanted her to jump him and kiss him silly and then maybe do some R-rated things to him.
And she'd been seconds from doing that anyway (regardless of what Hitsugaya wanted), when his expression had gone dark.
"Hinamori…will probably bear scars after this too."
She doubted her captain knew he'd even spoken aloud. He was so good at withdrawing into himself when he was upset, she was pretty sure for that instant, Matsumoto Rangiku hadn't even existed for him.
And that hurt. God, it hurt, being cut off like that.
For Momo.
That was the absolute worst part. Because…for the slightest of seconds, Matsumoto had felt the ugly twinge of jealousy within her heart.
It was ironic, she'd been telling poor Orihime to embrace all her feelings for Kurosaki Ichigo, jealousy included—like she knew anything about jealousy. Gin had never shown any interest in anyone, and most women found him creepy; although they'd never been romantic, Matsumoto had always felt secure in her position as the most important woman in Gin's life.
This was not so with Hitsugaya. For years and years, it'd been Momo he cherished and watched over. Matsumoto had thought it so cute back in the day—her little taichou struggling with his first crush. Then, as decades passed, and Hitsugaya continued to make nary a move and Hinamori remaining oblivious and infatuated with Aizen, amusement had turned to impatience, then doubt. Surely, no one could be this slow to act. Perhaps, just perhaps…Hitsugaya really just cared for Momo as a friend?
And that was as far as Matsumoto's assessment of that relationship got, before she'd developed her own feelings, and she'd decided, what the hell. If Hitsugaya really was in love with Hinamori, nothing Matsumoto could do would change his mind, so what was there to lose in confessing how she felt?
And things had worked out well in her favor, it had seemed, since Hitsugaya hadn't refused her—which meant he did not believe himself in love with Momo, at least at this point in time. Her taichou was a sensitive and thoughtful person who would have thought this through before allowing any further development between the two of them. But...no matter how you looked at it, his emotional ties to Momo ran older and deeper. Just because there was no love now didn't mean there wouldn't be later.
In these times when almost all of Soul Society was feeling vulnerable, it was easy to turn to another for comfort. In her sorrow, Matsumoto had quickly befriended the other lieutenants, especially Kira and Hisagi, when she'd barely known them for decades. It wasn't a very romantic concept, but feelings between two people could easily transform when united by a common loss or challenge. All it would take was Momo to sob and throw herself into Hitsugaya's arms, and feelings could blossom. What then?
What would Matsumoto do?
That was a foolish and pointless question, in truth. She couldn't do anything. Hitsugaya's feelings were his and his alone. If he preferred Momo, Matsumoto would have to stand aside. It was just a matter of how graciously she did it. And even that was pretty predictable, since it was Momo. Sweet, gentle Momo, who would likely bow and apologize and look so sorry that Matsumoto would end up hugging her and wishing them the best of luck. Yeah, no way they'd end up fighting over Hitsugaya. She tried to visualize her and Momo shouting, 'He's mine, bitch!' as they released their shikai, and ended up bursting into loud peals of laughter.
"What's so funny?"
Matsumoto screamed and fell off her swing. Flipping her hair back out of her eyes, she looked up to see Hitsugaya looking down at her in exasperation. "Oh…it's Hitsugaya-taichou. You really need to stop creeping up on people, you know…ehehe…erm, how are you, sir?"
"As a matter of fact, I'm very interested to see how you're going to explain what you've been doing away for three hours after saying you had to make a quick call to Soul Society."
"Oh…uh…"
Hitsugaya sighed, as it was obvious no good explanation was forthcoming. "Forget it, I probably don't want to know anyway."
"Taichou…"
He reached out towards her. "Inoue's prepared dinner, and she won't eat until all three of us are sitting down together at the table, so will you get up already?"
"Eh? Ah, okay…" Matsumoto took her captain's proffered hand, but in her emotional disorientation, wasn't prepared for the strength of his pull. "Aaah, wait, taichou—!"
"Matsumoto, what—" Hitsugaya was abruptly and rudely cut off as Matsumoto's mountainous cleavage plowed into his face, toppling him over backwards onto the ground that Matsumoto had been acquainted with just seconds before.
"Er, sorry, taichou." Matsumoto laughed nervously from where she lay atop her captain, who was still lying motionless on the grass, clearly in disbelief at what had just happened. "Um, are you all right?"
"…"
Matsumoto scrambled backwards, prepared for the deafening yelling that was undoubtedly coming. Unexpectedly, she was stopped by as Hitsugaya reached around her waist to hold her in place. "Hitsugaya-taichou?"
Her captain looked up at her solemnly with those beautifully clear aqua eyes filled with heavy indefinable emotion. "…Matsumoto, you know…I'm not—that is, I'm not experienced at this…sort of thing. And I know people find me cold. But…" He huffed slightly in frustration at the words that seemed to be escaping him, and simultaneously his grip on her tightened. Matsumoto fought not to lean into the touch further. "You can talk to me about anything, you know. If you're worried about anything…displeased about anything…I promise you I will try to address it." There was another pause, and Matsumoto thought she heard him swallow. "Because it's pointless if you aren't happy."
Oh, taichou. Vague awkward stammerings aside, it was still one of the sweetest, most romantic things Matsumoto had ever had said to her. She couldn't even speak, she was too busy trying to contain the bursting feeling in her heart.
"Uh, Matsumoto…?"
She reached down to grab his head firmly between her hands, and kissed him deeply and fully. It was a rather sudden action, based on amorous impulse as it was, but Hitsugaya seemed to read her mind and met her gently, but with equal passion. And once their lips met, it was as if neither one of them could stop.
Their tongues ran hotly across one another in dizzy urgency. A desperate heat was searing through Matsumoto, her body tingling almost painfully in desire. Unable to help herself, she moaned and bucked her hips hard against Hitsugaya. The shock of contact against him even through the layers of clothing was sinfully delicious in its intensity, and she gasped loudly into his mouth in wanton desire. His hands came up to gently cup her face and steady her, but she was really too far gone.
Covering his hands with her own, she slowly guided them down to her chest. "T-touch me, Hitsugaya-taichou," she panted, burning with need. "Please…"
Hitsugaya pulled back and stared at her. Briefly, Matsumoto toyed with the idea of murdering him, he really was too rational and level-headed for his own good. But then, she felt his hands cup her breasts—first lightly, then more firmly. Then slowly, his hands traveled closer to the center, where his fingers brushed against pert nipples. Matsumoto gasped again at the sensation and arched into the touch. They were now sitting up, with Matsumoto straddling her captain, and every movement of her impatient hips made them both jump.
Matsumoto let her head fall back more in pleasure as her beloved taichou ran his hands over her breasts again and again, massaging and toying with her nipples. It took her quite some time before she was in possession enough of her senses to realize that while she had her eyes closed, Hitsugaya had continued staring at her for likely the entire time.
"Err, taichou…what are you looking at?"
"You." His expression was serious. "I'm gauging your reactions."
Matsumoto sighed. Not the sexiest thing she'd heard while making out. Taichou, we're going to have to work on your bedroom talk. "Why?"
"Why else?" His fingers ran out lightly along the side of her breasts to tickle an erogenous zone she hadn't even realized she had. Matsumoto gasped again and barely missed her captain's explanation. "I want to know what pleases you."
Freaking prodigies. Matsumoto cried out as Hitsugaya caught one nipple between his finger and thumb and rubbed. Hard. "Taichou…that's not fair…" She wasn't even sure what she was saying anymore.
For once, Hitsugaya didn't seem to mind that she was babbling. "I told you, I'm new at this. How else am I supposed to learn?"
"…how…nngh…?" Matsumoto wanted to scream at her taichou, acting so cool and calm, while she was practically losing her mind. If only he'd stop touching her for a second…wait, maybe not. "Taichou…" she finally managed to pant after a few more minutes, "...but it's not just about me. Aren't you enjoying yourself?"
It was sort of a stupid question. Sitting on top of him, she could feel evidence of his "enjoyment" quite nicely through his human world jeans. And yet…how did he remain so unchanged in expression? How could this not affect him the way it was affecting her, unless he wasn't feeling it?
Matsumoto stared at him harder, determined to understand…and that was when it hit her.
Hitsugaya's brilliant blue-green eyes had gone dark with desire—those slitted pupils widened and rounded. Like an exotic, dangerous beast uncaged. A dragon on the hunt, the thought came unbidden to Matsumoto, and arousal coarsed uncontrollably through her.
"Of course I'm enjoying this," Hitsugaya was snapping at her, undoubtedly pissed at having to admit something so embarrassing. "Why would I be doing this with you if I didn't enjoy it? Are you daft, Matsumoto?" He definitely sounded in control of himself, but his voice was just slightly deeper and there was almost an underlying growl, Matsumoto was starting to hear, and that pleased her immensely.
"You could always just listen to what sounds I'm making, if you want to know my reactions." Whether it was at work or lovemaking, she still couldn't resist teasing him.
Hitsugaya's eyes began to spark again in annoyance. "What exactly is wrong with watching your reactions?"
"Nothing, taichou, I was just wondering…"
"Besides, you're beautiful to look at."
She gaped at the unprompted, open compliment. Her taichou was looking off to one side now, as if the opposite side of the playground was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. Matsumoto would have laughed at him, except she was feeling rather shy herself all of a sudden. "Um…thank you, taichou."
"You're welcome." Hitsugaya turned back finally and gave her a sour look that ruined the mood some more. "Any more complaints?"
"Um…no, taichou. Sorry."
"Good." And his eyes flared dark again. Matsumoto was immediately turned on again as she felt that heavy hungry gaze pin her down and devour her.
"You…you're doing that on purpose, taichou!" she accused him rather breathlessly.
"…I have no idea what you're talking about." But she thought she saw his ears turn just slightly pink.
"All right, that's it, taichou. Pants off. Now." And to show she meant business, she stuck one hand down said garments.
"…momma, what is that oneesan and oniisan doing?"
The two Shinigami whipped their heads around in unison at the tiny voice. A young boy, hand in hand with his mother, was standing at the entrance of the playground. One finger was raised and pointing at the pair in curious judgment. His mother was considerably less curious. Her face was frozen in a mask of mortified horror.
"PERVERTS! Someone, call the police!"
"Matsumoto, RUN!" Hitsugaya hissed, sounding admirably like a captain ordering his squad to retreat from a strong Hollow, especially given how bright red his face was.
Matsumoto, of course, obeyed. But not without falling to the ground one final time with laughter.
Orihime greeted them excitedly at the door. "Welcome back, Rangiku-san, Toshirou-kun!"
"Hiii, Orihime!" Matsumoto replied with equal cheer. "I heard from Hitsugaya-taichou that you made us some dinner! That was so good of you! I'm starved!"
"Yes I did, although I'm not sure it'll be to your liking…" Orihime stepped back to let the two Shinigaami back into the apartment. "But before that, umm…do you need anything? You look like you ran into some Hollows."
"Ah, is that so?"
"Well, your hair is a little messed up and your clothes…" The girl leaned around to peer behind Matsumoto at Hitsugaya, who stepped back smartly in an attempt to avoid inspection, but it was too late. "Toshirou-kun too…and you're usually so neat…"
"Nothing happened!" Hitsugaya said, a little too quickly, and sidled even further back against Matsumoto, like a child hiding behind his mother from a stranger. Matsumoto clapped a hand over her mouth to prevent erupting completely into laughter. Things were looking desperate indeed if her usually honest and upright taichou was resorting to lying. Well, perhaps this incident would convince him to employ deceit more often—he obviously needed the practice, anyone but the trusting and innocent Orihime would have caught on by now.
"Are you sure?" their aforementioned human hostess persisted. "If you need my help—"
"No, there's nothing to help," Hitsugaya said more forcefully, then grimaced at Orihime's slightly taken aback expression. Matsumoto snickered to herself and shook her head. He really was the worst liar in the world. "…but thank you for offering, Inoue, really. If we need anything, you'll be the first to know."
Matsumoto finally took pity on her captain. "It's true, Orihime, we're totally fine." Well, minus a tiiiiiny bit of a sexual frustration. Seriously, this was—what, the third time she and Hitsugaya had been interrupted in so many times, and she'd be lying if she said it wasn't starting to take its toll. She was a grown woman, after all, with equally grown needs—and really, she doubted even a hormonal high-schooler would be satisfied with the heated but brief moments of fumbling intimacy she and Hitsugaya had shared so far.
It wasn't that she didn't understand why; there was a war to fight, lives to save, the fate of the world to protect…to say she and Hitsugaya-taichou were busy people was putting it incredibly mildly, especially now with this mission in the human world. Still, in the past, she would easily have found the time and men to fulfill her needs (because let's face it, when you were Matsumoto Rangiku, you didn't have to look far for willing lovers). This was definitely a new predicament for her—wanting pleasurable company and NOT getting it almost instantaneously.
Of course, this time, it wasn't just any pleasurable company she was seeking. Matsumoto smiled and rubbed her arms; she could still feel the heated stroke of her captain's fingers on them, gripping her and pulling her deeper into him…and those eyes…dark and burning with blue-green fire just for her…
…Damn, she was getting hot all over again. Matsumoto sighed and glanced over at Hitsugaya. He had, of course, taken great care to rearrange his clothes and compose himself before they reached Orihime's apartment, but Matsumoto had to agree with Orihime that there was still something…disordered about him. His hair looked more windswept than usual, the collar to his school uniform was just ever so slightly crumpled, and…Matsumoto squinted…was that a spot of bruising on his lip? Oops, must've bit him in all that excitement...er, sorry taichou ehehe…
As if reading her thoughts, her taichou turned to glare at her, even as he continued to speak to Orihime. "Matsumoto just fell on her way back over, that's why she's got all that dirt on her. And it was windy, so her clothes got…rumpled."
"Oh. Strange, it usually isn't windy here this time of year." Orihime was quiet for a moment (while Hitsugaya undoubtedly sweated bullets), then broke out into a relieved smile. "Thank god that's all that was! After last night, I was so afraid you were attacked again."
"Well, I never said I wasn't attacked," Matsumoto couldn't resist countering with a sly smile.
"Eh?"
"It just wasn't by Hollows."
"Will you stop lying! You were NOT attacked!" Hitsugaya burst out in an outrage. "If anything, you were the one attacking—no, never mind." Abruptly, he turned away and began walking over to the dining table. "Are we eating or not?"
"…" Poor Orihime looked completely lost.
"Don't worry, Orihime," Matsumoto laughed. She bent over to stroke the girl's long hair fondly. "I enjoyed being attacked, so it's all good."
"You…enjoyed…?"
"Are you sure we're not imposing too much, Inoue?" Hitsugaya asked sharply from where he was seated. "I was thinking, maybe Matsumoto and I should find food elsewhere."
"Ohh no, not at all!" Orihime waved a hand back and forth quickly to demonstrate how fine she was with the situation. "The truth is, I rarely have anyone ever besides Tatsuki-chan, so this is really fun for me! I tried out some new recipes and made a whole lot of food, like pickled radish pudding with ketchup!"
"Haaah?"
"OHH, that sounds delicious!" Matsumoto squealed over her captain's confused interjection. "What are we waiting for then?"
At long last, the three of them were all seated around the table and eating—Hitsugaya with considerably less enthusiasm than the two women.
"Toshirou-kun, try some more of the tartar sauce soba!" Orihime urged.
"…n-no, thank you…"
"Ohhh, this is soooo good! You're an amazing cook, Orihime!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she shoveled more food into her mouth. Her captain watched on in horror.
"You think so, Rangiku-san? Maybe when I grow up, in between fighting crime as a super battle mecha, I'll also be a chef!"
"That's a great idea!"
"…a battle mecha?" Hitsugaya echoed skeptically, but he was thoroughly ignored.
"It's really a shame we only get to live one life," Orihime continued happily. "There's just so much to see and do, one lifetime really isn't enough! If it was up to me, I…I'd have five lives!"
"Mm-hmm! Ah, but don't worry, when you die and come to Soul Society, you'll have all the time you like! We live waaay longer lives!"
"Oi, Matsumoto! Don't say morbid things like that!"
"Ahahaha, that's all right, Toshirou-kun, I don't mind. I know Rangiku-san meant well. And after all, it's the truth."
"Exactly! And as high-ranking Shinigami, we can even see to it that you're treated well...provided you don't turn into a Hollow or get sniped by a Quincy, but that's unlikely since there's only that one Quincy boy now, Ishida, right? Still, it never hurts to be careful—"
"Matsumoto!"
"Wahh, taichou, you're so strict! We're just talking! Mouu!" Matsumoto tossed her head imperiously (all the while secretly relishing the near-epileptic conniptions she'd driven her captain into having). "So! Orihime, what's for dessert?"
"Dessert? Oh, how about…ah! Oh, no, I totally forgot!" Orihime smacked a fist into the palm of her other hand. "I wanted to try making this parfait, but I forgot to buy ice cream for it!"
"That's…probably all right," Hitsugaya muttered, "I'm not sure I could withstand dessert right now…"
"But that sounds delicious!" Matsumoto whined. "Orihime, I reeaally want to try it! Shall Hitsugaya-taichou and I go buy the ice cream? Will you make it then?"
"…wait, why do I have to go along?"
"Eh? I can't ask the two of you to go! You're guests."
"It's no problem!" Matsumoto quickly got to her feet and brushed her skirt off. "Orihime, you go on and wash the dishes and get ready to make your parfait, taichou and I will be back in a flash with your ice cream!"
"Hold on, Matsumoto, I didn't agree to any of this—" Hitsugaya hadn't even finished his sentence when Matsumoto grabbed his hand and towed him out the door.
Orihime stared at the empty space where the two Shinigami had been a moment ago. "Haah…I wonder, do they know where the convenience store is?"
"I can't believe you dragged me along for this idiotic chore," Toshirou snarled, as he and his vice-captain turned around another block. They'd been walking around aimlessly for twenty minutes or so now.
"But taichou, I thought you'd be happy! You like ice cream!"
Not when Inoue was the one preparing it, he wanted to say, but highly doubted Matsumoto would understand, given how she'd asked for seconds and thirds earlier. "Have you any idea where you're going?"
"Not really. I know the shopping districts and malls pretty well, but ice cream stores are sort of a different matter."
"…"
"Ah, look, taichou! Isn't that one right there?" Matsumoto pointed to a brightly lit little shop with large glass windows through which the two of them could see vats of colorful ice cream lined up on a counter. "It is! See, I had the situation completely under control! Let's go!"
With typical Matsumoto zeal, she threw the door open, causing the little bell on top to jingle noisily. The man behind the counter looked up with an ill-concealed frown, but naturally she took no notice. Instead, she ran to the counter and began examining the displayed tubs with the excitement of a six-year old. "Ohh taichou, look at all the flavors! Which one shall we get?"
"How should I know? You should have asked Inoue before you left." Toshirou studied the available flavors half-heartedly. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the ice cream man was looking on with much more approval and fascination as Matsumoto leaned forward more to inspect the frozen treats. "Let's just buy one and get back already."
"Ehh? Just one? Can't we buy more?" Matsumoto moved over to a second row of ice creams, eyeing them all longingly. The vendor moved over too, eyeing Matsumoto equally longingly.
Toshirou rolled his eyes. "Fine, we'll buy two."
"Ehh? Just two? Taichou, since we're here, we might as well make it three!"
"Aren't you afraid of getting fat?" he asked nastily. She'd loved watching him squirm earlier before dinner when Inoue interrogated him, surely he was allowed just a little mean-spiritedness.
Alas, Matsumoto was too engrossed in the ice cream for the statement to really sink in. "It's fine, it's fine, it'll all just go to my breasts anyway!" She straightened back up to address the vendor. "Hiii sir, I'd like the green tea mocha, the strawberry-mango, and the vanilla mochi, please!"
"Yes, ma'am. That'll be 800 yen."
"Oh, sure, just a minute." Matsumoto turned and smiled sweetly at Toshirou. "Taichou, I'm saving my money for shopping—that is, emergency situations, so you'll buy this, won't you?"
"…" Toshirou trudged to the counter and pulled out his wallet wearily. "How much was it again? 800? That's awfully expensive for ice cream, isn't it…" He stopped suddenly in his muttering as he remembered.
"What is it, taichou?"
"…the official mission credit card. The one I had on me up until we went to bed last night. I still don't have it." He could feel Matsumoto's reiatsu freeze in fear. "…Matsumoto, are you sure you haven't seen it?"
"…oh, ahahaha, you meant that card, taichou?" Matsumoto scratched a cheek nervously with one finger. "Well, yes, I've seen that card…but um, NOT because I took it to purchase a super cute dress I saw in a store window yesterday, nope! No…I just saw it…and that is, I saw it...last in another pair of jeans back at Orihime's apartment…so…I mean, I don't have it with me right now…"
He could feel a migraine building behind his eyeballs. "Matsumoto, that is our major source of income, entrusted to us by the soutaichou expressly for this mission…and you just left it? Without another thought? No sense of responsibility or concern?"
"Well, taichou, when you put it like that…"
"MATSUMOTO-!"
"Sir, are you paying?" the vendor cut in.
Toshirou gritted his teeth. "YES. Will you just wait a moment damnit…" He bit his tongue to prevent anything less civil from escaping. Quite possibly the worst part about Matsumoto's infuriating immaturity was that it wasn't content until it dragged him down to her level, until he had lost all rationality and control over his impulses and degenerated into a spewing fountain of curses. "…here." After a few minutes of savagely digging through his pockets (experience had already taught him to keep an ample personal backup source of currency if Matsumoto was within five miles of him), he procured the necessary amount of money and handed it over.
He was actually surprised when the man dumped the change onto the counter instead of handing it directly to him.
Since making captain, he hadn't had to personally interact with any street vendors as he used to in Rukongai. He could pretty much order whatever he needed out of his budget or salary, and it could be delivered to him, while he remained busy in the office. And he rarely needed anything anyway.
It was almost nostalgic—to remember how the average person saw and reacted to him. A bizarre white-haired brat.
In his younger days, such reactions left him bothered and resentful for days…wondering how things might be different if he looked more normal. Would he be more readily accepted? Less feared? Less alone? And more importantly, would any of it even make him happier?
Pointless musings of a child with nothing better on his mind. These days, Toshirou's brain was far more occupied with things greater than himself. If there was anything he wanted for himself, it was more power so he could kill fucking Aizen.
Let the poor ice cream-selling human be as obnoxious and passive-aggressive as he wanted; in some ways, he was almost pitiful that his view of the world was so limited. Most likely, he would never feel the wind whipping behind you when you shunpo through the air with the world a blur around you, nor the exhilarating strength gathering in your palms when performing a kido spell, nor the breathtaking beauty and freedom when you held your released zanpakutou for the first time and looked into the eyes of your own soul. Nor would he know the bittersweet joy from purifying a Hollow and the heavy honor of knowing you had released a soul from the blackest darkness and despair.
Of course, not everyone shared Toshirou's views.
"Hey! I had no idea this store was so rude to its customers!"
He really should have seen it coming. After so many years of working together, he really should have. It was a freaking disgrace that he hadn't.
Something soft and round and nice-smelling smacked into his face and sent him flying back until he smacked hard into a wall.
"Taichou!" He barely had time to register a shadow falling over him before he was yanked to his feet. Still in disbelief, he looked up into the fuming face of his lieutenant. "Mouu! I don't believe it! You still haven't learned how to handle these situations?"
"ME? How is it, after all this time, you haven't learned how to handle your BODY and NOT hit people, especially me, with those freaks of nature?"
"Well, one of us has to do the hitting, and it obviously isn't going to be you, taichou!" Matsumoto spun back to the cringing vendor. "Listen here, you unmannered moron, are you running a customer service or not? No, it doesn't even matter if you are or aren't! It's a basic principle of being a decent human being that you treat people like people! Show some respect and don't pick on someone just because he's small and looks like an elementary schooler who dyed his hair all weird!"
"…an elementary schooler…?" Toshirou felt his facial muscles twitch and contort into a homicidal grimace despite all attempts at composure. "Oi, Matsumoto…"
"If I ever see you doing anything like this again…well, just you wait!" Matsumoto was ranting too loudly to hear him.
"I-I'm sorry…" The man was practically squatting on the floor, cowering from Matsumoto's ire. "I was wrong, ma'am…please, take the ice cream, free of charge!"
"…well, that's more like it." Matsumoto relaxed just the slightest. "But still not good enough! Give us your best sundae on the house!"
"…eh? But…"
"But what?" Matsumoto snapped, immediately on the offensive again.
"N-nothing! Yes! One sundae coming up!" The man scuttled off to make the sundae. When he was gone, Matsumoto turned back to Toshirou to flash a victory sign. "Now how was that, taichou?"
"How was what?" His head was still pounding. "Matsumoto, you do realize we just extorted that man for ice cream."
"Maybe…but he deserved it, taichou! Besides," Matsumoto continued happily, "this way, we get even mooore ice cream and without paying for it! So that means you can overlook my, ah, little oversight with the credit card."
"Nice try, but that's not happening."
"Aw, taichoouu!"
The man returned with the sundae and also handed the money back to Toshirou with such deference you'd have thought he was meeting the Spirit King himself. It was definitely…a little awkward.
"See, wasn't that so much better, taichou?" Matsumoto gloated as they finally departed the store with their extorted frozen treats. "You really need to be more confident, you know?"
"And you need to stop perceiving every gesture or look as a devastating insult to your person," he retorted. "That man wasn't physically threatening me. In fact, he hadn't even said anything aloud. And even if he did, so what? He's not worth it, and you only escalated the situation-"
"KYAAH! This is delicious!" Matsumoto squealed as she took a first bite out of the sundae. "I can't believe I managed to get this for free! I'm so amazing, so smart!"
"OI, are you even listening to me?"
"I heard, I heard! You said he wasn't worth it." Matsumoto stuck another heaping spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "Buf you're worfth id to be."
"Finish your food before you talk, idiot." He sighed and looked down at the ground, waiting and feeling strangely frustrated. The entire situation was irritating him more than it should. Perhaps it was because after so many years...decades, really, he was surprised to realize how very much the same he and Matsumoto had remained. Not that he was dissatisfied with who they were generally, nor did he expect some extreme personality changes or anything, but...damnit, hadn't they acted pretty much the exact same way when they first met? And didn't actions reflect thoughts for the most part? The fact that Matsumoto still felt she needed to leap in to his rescue like he was still some confused child bothered him. Certainly, back then, he hadn't known how to defend himself and felt resigned to his fate, and a strange loud woman intervening had only intimidated him further, but it was no longer the case now. He chose not to fight-not because he didn't know how, but because he knew he didn't need to fight.
And he didn't need to be protected either. Could Matsumoto not see that he had changed? Or did she still somewhere in the back of her mind still see him frightened and immature?
Of all people in Soul Society, Toshirou knew Matsumoto was the one who knew him best and saw him closest to who he truly was. Maybe that was why the idea she might be blind to his growth upset him so greatly. It was bad enough when Hinamori couldn't acknowledge the change in him.
I don't want to go on the rest of our lives having the same meaningless conversations, the same redundant actions. I want to keep moving forward...learning..improving ourselves...it's no good if we just stagnate...
A sound to his right notified him that Matsumoto had finished swallowing, and he looked over at her. "I was saying, taichou, that you're worth it to me. I mean, suuure, we could take the high road, but you always take the high road, taichou. You don't care about what other people do to you ever! Do you know how pissed off that makes me?" She swung one arm out, a glob of ice cream falling off her spoon as she did so. "I mean, don't these people know you could lop off their heads or blast them into oblivion if you felt like it? The only reason they're alive and breathing and sneering in your face is because you're actually good and kind-hearted! Aargh!" She shook a fist at the air.
"Oh." He was surprised at Matsumoto's explanation. So...that was it? She just wanted other people to understand him better?
"People like that...I want to just smack them around! Just a little! You're so super cool taichou, but no one knows and just judges you by your appearance! Which, if you ask me..."
"I'm not asking," he was quick to point out, but it was too late. Matsumoto's voice was getting louder, and she was gesturing more and more, leading to big white splots of melted ice cream hitting the street around them as they walked. "Quiet down now, Matsumoto. Have you forgotten it's nighttime and people might be getting ready for bed?"
She obediently lowered her voice, but continued with the same ferocity. "...your appearance is perfectly fine! White hair! So what? It's soft and fluffy! I just want to take my hands and muss it all up! Now, bald men, on the other hand, are gross!"
"Okay..."
"Why don't they realize how cute you are? Like when you've worked overtime for so long you just fall asleep on your desk and you're just like a helpless little puppy? Or, speaking of working, why don't they realize how responsible and smart you are? Sure, you grump a lot about it, but then you do it with no problem! I mean, I can't do that, one report takes me ages! That's so amazing!" She leaned in closer to Toshirou, wavy blonde bangs swinging wildly before her eyes. "Or how about how sweet and kind you are when you find out someone in the squad is having troubles, and then you mope around your office trying to think up ways to help them, which goes back to you looking super cute when you've got those wrinkles on your forehead!"
"Matsumoto…" He looked at her—his crazy, stubborn lieutenant, with ice cream dripping down her chin from her frenzied talking. Funny, he hadn't realized that that craziness and stubbornness would also apply to how she felt about him. To the point it was a little scary, especially for him, someone who believed firmly in not dumping his feelings on anyone if he could help it. And the way Matsumoto went on…if she kept going, he might even start believing he really was some amazing person. Someone to be so proud of, so passionate about…that you wanted everyone to see them the way you did.
"But you ALWAYS hide these things and NEVER brag, and you don't even like me to stop people from saying bad things about you, Hitsugaya-taichou! I mean, what's that about? It's like you have a persecution fetish!"
"I assure you that's not it."
"Well then, don't stop me if I want to back you up! Kiyone and Sentarou are always going on about Ukitake-taichou, and Ikkaku and Yumichika are practically GAY for their captain, so I think I'm entitled to picking a few fights on your behalf!" She finally stopped, realizing he'd called her name ages ago and was also now looking at her intently. "What?"
He reached out and ran his thumb along her bottom lip where the ice cream had dribbled. "Idiot, you shouted so much you spilled ice cream on yourself." He sighed licked off the creamy half-melted dessert. Not bad at all, it was pretty tasty. "Before worrying about me, why don't you focus on making less messes everywhere you go?"
He looked up when no witty rejoinder was forthcoming. His lieutenant was standing very still, big blue eyes wider than usual.
"Oh, um..."
"Matsumoto?"
Was it just the bad lighting from the street lamps or was Matsumoto, his sex-charged never-shy-even-when-walking-around-naked fukutaichou, actually blushing?
"Sorry, taichou, uh..." She was still stammering a little, and one hand flew up to play nervously at where he'd touched her mouth. "I'll be more careful next time."
He couldn't help smiling to himself. He'd finally gotten Matsumoto quiet for once (and without threatening bodily harm unto her person!). Perhaps they had changed after all. It was subtle, faint, barely noticeable like the slow shifting of the tide over time, and yet, like the rise and ebb of the ocean, it changed it everything. It had just been so natural and woven into their closeness that it hadn't immediently been apparent. "What? That ice cream's for both of us, isn't it? Since it was obtained on behalf of him bullying the pitiful helpless me?"
"O-of course, yes, you can have some." Matsumoto fidgeted with the spoon in her sundae for a little longer. Then, she looked up with sudden clarity. "Taichou! That's not fair! You can't tease me!"
"Oh I can't, can I?" he asked dryly. "Then stop yelling the next time I tell you to, and let's head back to Inoue already."
"Fine." She eyed him suspiciously for another moment, as if he might pull some devilish trick on her. Then, abruptly, she brightened up again. "That's right! We still have to get the rest of the ice cream back to Orihime for her homemade dessert! It's going to be so good! Quick, taichou! I can't wait!"
"..."
"Taichou?"
"...I'd...forgotten about that..."
"What's that, taichou?"
"...n-nothing." He could already feel his gut twisting in terrified anticipation, but what could he do? "…Let's go, Matsumoto."