Jules looked at Angela, unable to contain the feelings of pity and sympathy for the poor girl.
"I'll have to find somewhere else to live, first," Angela continued, "I can't bring a baby up in here, there's barely room for me. And the damp and the mould are not the only reasons this place is unsafe."
"Does he know you're here?"
"No, not yet, but as I said, he saw me walking home in this direction. He has friends everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if he had them out looking for me."
Jules opened her mouth to say "would he really do that?" but stopped herself; from the little she knew of Matthias, she would not have put anything past him.
"No," Angela continued "I have to have this baby somewhere where I feel safe, where there is only love, and not hate, and as far away from Matthias Aston-Fitzwilliam as possible, now that I know he'll never want me back."
Angela turned her face towards the grimy window, attempting to hide the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.
"Do you know what it's like, to love a man who doesn't want you?"
"Not exactly," Jules sighed, "I know something that perhaps, is worse," she added, barely above a whisper.
"What's worse than unrequited love?"
"Forbidden love."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been passionately in love with a man for nearly five years, a man who loves me to an equal, if not, greater extent, but we both know that we will never, ever, be together."
"Is he married?"
"No, worse, Ben's a Catholic priest."
"Ah, yes, that would complicate matters."
"That's certainly one way of putting it."
It was Angela's turn to look upon her companion with sympathy. As unpleasantly as her and Matthias' relationship had ended, at least it had been allowed to start.
Sitting in the silence, Jules mused on Angela's previous words. She took a deep breath, anticipating that her suggestion would be greeted with an angry backlash, looked Angela in the eye and said,
"Would you not go home?"
"I can't," Angela replied, her breath catching in her throat, "I can't," she repeated, "they'll be far too ashamed of me, and they'll never forgive me for what I've done. And what if, what if they do to me what my grandparents did to my mother?"
A look of absolute terror flashed across Angela's face and she drew several shallow breaths.
"You mean make you give the baby away?"
Angela nodded and cradled her abdomen.
"I couldn't put my child through what I have been through. I want them to know who they are."
"Your mother was little more than a child herself," Jules said, holding Angela tighter to her, "you're a grown woman, even if they wanted to, they couldn't."
"Even so, I left on such bad terms," Angela continued, "I can't imagine for a minute that they would want me back. I can't see them ever loving me again."
"Your parents will always love you Angela, parents do!"
Angela eyed Jules with suspicion before letting out a disgruntled snort.
"I never got on with my parents when I was in my teens," Jules said, "I was always angry, fed up with the constraints they put on my life. I spent as little time at home as I could, because I knew we would just end up arguing. I ran away from home many times, hiding out in the woods, or dossing at friends for days at a time. I stayed behind at school until the caretaker threw me out, working as hard as I could so I would be able to escape to university. I couldn't wait to leave, I felt free for the first time in my life. But it wasn't until I'd been living 150 miles away for a year that I realised how much I was loved, and how much I loved my family too. You love your family don't you?"
"Yes," Angela moaned, "of course I do," showing Jules the butterfly on her wrist and, adjusting the bandage to do so, the top of the four sunflowers on her ankle "which is why they cannot see me in this state, it would break their hearts."
"Oh Angela," Jules began, on the verge of sobbing herself, "if you'd seen what I've seen…" she could not continue, but stared at the damp-strained ceiling.
"I can't go home Jules," Angela said defiantly, "not yet."
Another silence descended, the only sound that of the girl's stifled breathing. Jules watched Angela, waiting for her to make the next move.
"It's all been so sudden," Angela gasped, "this time yesterday I was hidden, safe for a while, hidden from him, hidden from my past, hiding from my present and my future. Anne Jones provided the cover I needed. But then Mattie found me, and then I was rescued by you. I suppose the one blessing is that Mum and Dad know nothing of this."
Jules looked at Angela, curling her lips in awkwardness.
"What?" Angela demanded.
"They don't know your exact whereabouts," Jules began, "but they know you are in the country, your mother has had half the Civil Service scouring the world for you."
"Seriously?"
"She's had the Foreign and Home Offices searching for you. Anne Jones hid you well in that respect."
"I can't believe it!" Angela replied, shaking her head, "I can't do this," she continued, suddenly getting up from her bed and beginning to hobble up and down the small room, running her hands through her hair as she did so., "this is just, I need time, space, to think, to, you know, I just can't, not yet."
"If you can't go home, have you got anywhere you can go?" Jules asked, "Friends places, somewhere where he doesn't know about? Someone you can talk to? Stay for a while perhaps?"
"I've lost contact with everyone I knew before I left. I only had him."
Jules wracked her brains, trying to think of what to do next. Angela was certainly not ready to go home and she, Jules, had no idea what else to say to convince her. Then, as so often happened in such a situation, she thought of her best friend.
"Would getting out of London for a bit help? I could take you to stay with Ben."
"Your clerical friend?"
"Yes. He lives in the countryside down near Eastbourne now, but was in Stepney for a few months. He's met your Mum and Dad, and he's, he's helped me look after them," Jules finished quieter and slightly awkwardly.
"Does that mean he knows all about me too?" Angela asked, reading Jules like an open book.
"He's very good at giving advice," Jules replied, "I listen but never know what to say, we'd make a good team," she remarked a little sadly.
"Would he mind you turning up with someone he's never met?"
"It wouldn't be the first time!" Jules remarked. Angela looked at her sceptically. "He's got a lovely big house, with a big garden, in a quaint little village surrounded by fields, perfect for wintry walks. It's a good place to escape, and to contemplate."
Angela opened her mouth to reply to Jules' suggestion when her stomach gave a violent rumble.
"Have you eaten today?" Jules asked, "Angela!" she added more sternly when her companion's eyes failed to meet hers.
"No," Angela replied, "not since yesterday morning, I, well."
Jules looked over to the grease-splattered kitchenette in the corner of the room, the door-less cupboard pitifully empty.
"Angela, you're what, six months pregnant?" Angela nodded. "Right," Jules said standing up, "I'm going to buy you something to eat. Think about coming to Ben's, I'll be back in a bit."
Jules returned half an hour later with two bags full of shopping before proceeding to make a pile of sandwiches, and a mug of tea for each of them, which Angela demolished ravenously.
"Have you thought any more about my suggestion?" Jules asked as she made the best attempt she could to wash up in cold water and without any soap.
"Getting out of London for a while would be lovely," Angela mused, "and you're right, I really do need to sit and seriously think about things, which I can't do here, not with the thought of him turning up on my doorstep any minute. Are you sure Ben won't mind?"
"I'm sure it will be fine, though I'll double check to make sure he hasn't got any other house guests. It probably won't be until Friday evening before I can take you down, do you think you'll be alright until then?"
"I don't think I'll be heading too far!" Angela said, smiling, massaging her ankle at the same time.
"Have you got a phone?" Jules asked.
"No," Angela replied, "but there's a phone box on the corner of the street."
Jules headed out of Angela's flat, up the stairs to street level and scanned the road for the telephone box. Spotting it a hundred yards away or so, she sprinted up the road, her heart suddenly racing. Hoping she had remembered Fr. Benjamin's number from the previous night, she shoved a few pennies into the slot and dialled the number.
"St Peter's Church, Fr. Benjamin Wheatley speaking."
"Thank goodness," Jules breathed, "Ben, it's Jules."
"Twice in one day I am blessed," Fr Benjamin replied, "what do you want this time?" he joked.
"You're insufferable!" Jules replied, trying to scold him but melting into a giggle, "I was wondering, are you free for a couple of visitors next weekend?"
"Well," he drawled, "I'll just consult my calendar which, as you know, is full of important engagements!"
"Benji!"
"Hmmm, it appears that I am free next weekend, so whose company will I be having the pleasure of?"
"Mine," Jules began, "and Angela Turner's."
"It was her then?"
"Yes," Jules replied, "she needs some time out of London, bit of a long story, I will have to be back for work on the Monday, but if she needs to stay longer than a weekend, can she?"
"Of course she can," Fr. Benjamin said kindly, his jovial sarcasm mellowing with every word, "no-one else is staying until Easter at the moment."
"Oh you angel, thank you so much, oh sugar," she added as the telephone began to click, "I'm out of change, we can probably get to Eastbourne for seven, seven-thirty-ish on Friday, is that alright?"
"No problem, I'll see you then."
"Bye!"
The telephone rang off and Jules ran back to Angela's flat.
"What did he say?" Angela asked
"He said we can go down on Friday, I have to work on Monday, but you can stay with him as long as you need to."
"And it is definitely alright?"
"Quite definitely," Jules affirmed.
Angela smiled and hugged Jules tightly.
"Thank you, you have been, more than kind."
"Well," Jules said, breaking the embrace and looking at her watch, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to head back, your mother will be wondering where I am!"
Angela laughed, "You cannot be serious?"
Jules grinned "Yes, I really am, now," she took a deep breath and continued more gravely, "do you want me to say anything to your parents?"
"No," Angela replied instantly. Jules' heart sank. "I've caused all these problems so I've got to solve them, no-one else, just me. You've done enough Jules; only I can to do this, so, please, say nothing."
"Alright," Jules promised, her heart sinking lower and lower into the pit of her stomach, knowing what a burden this information was going to be for her to carry, "I promise."
"Thank you."
"There's usually a train to Eastbourne from Victoria about quarter to six," Jules said, "meet me at the main entrance, I'll come as fast as I can from work."
"I'll see you then, then," Angela said, showing Jules out the door, "thanks, again."
"Take care."
Jules made her way back across London towards home, glad that she had chosen to act on her suspicions, but downcast by the fact she had to hide all she knew, things she so wanted to tell, things that would make the recipients of such news happier than she could possibly imagine.
"But a promise is a promise," she thought, kicking a stone nonchalantly as she dragged her heels up Bermondsey Lane, an hour or so later, "as hard as it may be to keep."
Shelagh noticed that Jules was noticeably more subdued over the next few days. The usual sparkle in her eyes and spring in her step were lacking, and Shelagh sensed that the smile and the "I'm fine, thank you," with which she responded to her concerned enquiries, were somewhat artificial. The secret she was hiding began to take its toll on Jules, so she was more than grateful for Friday's arrival. As she was heading out the door to work, she poked her head through the kitchen hatch to where Shelagh and Patrick were finishing their breakfast and said,
"I won't be home tonight. I'm spending the weekend at Ben's."
"Oh that will be nice," Shelagh replied.
"Yes, yes, it will," Jules murmured.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Shelagh asked, "Is something troubling you? You can talk to us, you know."
Jules' breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped several beats. She gripped the sides of the hatch, steadying herself against the frame.
"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, "I'll be back on Sunday night, bye," she added as she disappeared into the hallway before pulling on her raincoat and banging the front door behind her.
Walking out into the rain, Jules took several deep breaths and felt her heart rate return to normal. Staring into the grey-streaked heavens, she offered a silent prayer,
"Dear Lord. Please help me to do the right thing. Help Ben, Angela and I through this weekend, and may everything be resolved."
She stopped at the corner of the street and continued aloud.
"Because I can't lie anymore."