A/N: Lol, fake angst is fun to write. I forgot how much I love writing Wally. I don't know if I've said this in an A/N yet, but I am deviating from canon in that none of the couples happened on the finale happened. So no Spitfire, Dick/Zee, or Kal/Rocket. Doesn't mean I won't hint at that kinda stuff, but no kissies (only Justice). This is in January, BTW. Hope that clears up confusion, SAGE OF WIND DRAGONS. Thank you so much for reading and please review!
Sleepover
Artemis hates people.
Well, it's more like she hates surprises.
Actually, let her make one more revision to the statement.
Artemis hates Wally West.
There's something about how cocky, sexist, and irritating that it just drives her up a wall to the point where she is ready to shove an arrow up his ass after castrating him with it. She reaches that point of annoyance quite often. Whether it be on a mission where he just won't sit still so they end up losing their secure position to his inability to sit still or be during a training exercise that he doesn't take seriously because he's got the maturity level of a walrus during mating season—he's just irritable.
So Artemis likes to limit her time around him as much as possible otherwise she'll end up looking something similar to a female Lex Luthor. To make sure something like that never happens, Artemis would prefer to only see Wally at required practices.
Seeing Wally at her school is one of those things that would help her go bald.
Bumping into Wally at her school would also make her go bald.
Fighting with Wally at her school is also not profitable.
Wally in general at her school is not good for her hair.
So doing all four of those at once basically secured Artemis for going bald at an early age—hey, her and Superboy can do it together. It had been a wonderful Friday afternoon. She had managed to talk her teacher out of taking points off of her paper for being late and now she was going to go home and have a party. And by party, she meant go to Star City and train with Ollie because she had no homework and she was a free woman.
Then, she ran into Wally and everything changed.
She had been looking for Bette because she had offered during Chem to grab a quick meal before Artemis head off to Star City. It was supposed to be a nice day. Then, she literally ran into Wally West as he was presumably looking for Dick Grayson.
Her knee jerk reaction was to sucker punch him in the stomach.
It was a good reaction.
He spun around and nearly knocked her over, but Artemis' assassin blood kicked in and helped her stay on her feet. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
He was seriously in her bubble now—would it be bad if she hit him again? "Oh, I don't know." She made a little gesture with her hands to the huge Gotham Academy emblem on her jacket.
He narrowed his eyes, "You know, you don't have to be so sassy."
"It's in my blood."
"You're crazy assassin blood?"
"Assassin's are naturally sassy."
"I know."
"Oh. You know."
"Well, I've played Assassin's Creed."
"You do realize that no assassin's are really like Ezio?"
"…there could be."
"You want me to be Italian."
"I would buy you a pony."
"And by that do you mean Dick would buy me a pony because I don't think you have twenty grand lying around, hot shot."
"I thought that was Roy's nickname."
"Oh, sorry. I must have got you mixed up. It's the red hair."
"That's racist."
"Hair-ist. Get it right."
"Oh, sorry. I will try better, just for you."
"Damn right you will."
They paused for a second to just smirk at each other—or in Wally's case it was more of a stupid, lopsided smile because he was about to have a stroke. "Do ponies really cost twenty thousand?" he asked, casually.
"I don't know. Do I look like the type of person who goes out and buys ponies in my free time?"
"Jesus, you don't need to get so defensive about everything."
She narrowed her eyes, but didn't do anything more to acknowledge that he was completely right. "So what are you doing here again?"
He just smirked when he realized that she wasn't going to say anything more about the previous topic, "Oh you know, looking for Dick."
"You mean your lover."
"Oh you caught us. Me and Dick are actually married."
"That was quick."
"We eloped."
"Batman was the priest?"
"How'd you know we'd have a Batman themed wedding? I wanted Elvis, but Dick was persistent."
"I'm assuming he's the wife."
"Yep. He always gets his way."
"Okay, what are you two talking about? I got lost after Ezio," Dick said walking up to them with a grin.
"Wally says you're the girl in bed."
Dick narrowed his eyes at Wally, "What?"
Artemis just smirked as Wally made the ugliest face he could at Artemis—it was actually pretty scaring and Artemis was scared for a second that it might freeze that way because holy mother of God it was ugly. "I will eat you," he threatened.
"You know, that's an actual threat coming from you."
"You know," Dick murmured, "for not knowing each other that long, you two sure know how to personally attack each other."
Without a pause, Artemis answers him, "I'm his niece."
That causes them both to crack a smile at that. Once she finally got out all about her past and that it was all a rouse that she was Ollie's niece—no surprise there—it actually because a running joke. Mainly because Artemis had told them that Ollie had said 'We'll introduce you as my new protégé and my niece. You know. Cause we're both blonde.'
Yeah…so she may have started a whole bunch of blonde jokes around her mentor, but it was worth it. Especially when the Flash tried to pass as Ollie's niece.
Oh wait. Dick wasn't supposed that joke. Or was he. Or was Artemis not supposed to direct her joke in Dick's direction because he shouldn't really find that funny because…
Reason four Artemis hates secret IDs: she's not sure if it's appropriate to laugh at or tell inside jokes.
"So seriously, why are you here?" Artemis asked.
"I was going to hang out with my—"
"Lover?" Artemis finished right as Wally put his arm around Dick.
"Exactly. Jealous?" Wally smirked.
Artemis shrugged, "There's always polygamy," she waved off. "Where's Bette?" she asked Dick.
Dick smirked like he had this horrible evil plan. "Oh, she's just over there." Dick gestured to the other side of the pavilion as Bette made her way through her hoards of friends.
After probably hugging every single person in the school she made her way over after Artemis had to endure an endless supply of Wally jokes that managed to always fall flat. It was incredible that someone could have that many jokes that didn't work. He probably got them from Dick.
Or Roy.
Yep, they came from Roy.
"Hey, what's up?" Bette asked as she walked up and threw an arm around Artemis' waist. "Where's tall, red, and angst?" she asked immediately searching for Roy.
Both Wally and Artemis shared a look that said the same thing: Angsting about being a clone. They both said nothing because, you know, Bette isn't involved in the super hero community. Nope. Not at all…
Even Artemis thought process was sketchy.
She really needs to work on that.
"He's busy being a butt," Wally answered. Artemis wasn't really paying attention to them—she was looking for Babs—until she heard a squeak. Dick's face was bright red and Wally was grinning like the idiot he was.
Dick glared up at him, "You don't need to squeeze my butt when you say butt."
Both Artemis and Bette started laughing. "Dude, it's to make a point. Like when someone says Look and they point."
"Can you stop being an idiot for one moment?"
Yep, they definitely weren't Kid Flash and Robin.
She couldn't tell.
Not at all.
"Oh there's Babs, lets go Art," Bette threw her arm back around Artemis' shoulders and turned her away from the boys. "See you later, Dick!" she called back.
Artemis should have taken that as a clue.
They picked up Barbara on their way to Bette's car and they left not long after that. Unfortunately, Artemis didn't realize where they were going till it was too late. "Why are we going to my house?" she asked.
Bette shrugged, "I think I left my pants in your house."
"No you didn't."
"That's what you think. Let me go get them," with that Bette left the car.
Artemis turned around in her seat to look at Babs, "We're not going to out to eat, are we?"
Barbara sighed and leaned her head against the back of the seat, "Probably not. I think her and Dick were talking about hanging out."
Artemis groaned, "I don't wanna hang out with Wally."
"Yeah, Bette kinda signed us up for this without our permission."
"Just wake me up when we get there."
"Are you seriously that tired?"
"No, but I imagine that Dick just sent Bette on a rat race of things she needs to get."
"Mm, I'm crawling into the back and sleeping back there."
Barbara just chuckled a bit as Artemis crawled over the center divider to get back to her. She curled into a little ball and laid her head on Babs' lap. "You're like a little cat," she mused.
"Mm, don't compare me to cats."
"You're a little cat."
"Buttgirl."
"That was uncalled for."
"I wanna sleep."
"Then don't insult your pillow."
"Well usually it doesn't talk back."
"So you talk to your pillow?"
"I talk to many inanimate objects because they're the only things nowadays that don't bother me."
"Is there a crab in your butt?"
"You know when people say they want to sleep, they usually get to go to sleep."
"You're not sleeping."
"I will cut you."
"Don't be a butthole."
"Way to keep it PG."
"I can bump it up if you want me to."
"I'm good."
"…I'm gonna sleep now."
"I think you've said that a couple times."
"Just shut up."
Artemis is very proud of her ability to fall asleep literally anywhere. She has managed to fall asleep while riding on Roy's motorcycle, during one of Batman's mission briefings, while sitting on the arm chair of the couch, while trying to put on some ornaments on the Wayne family Christmas tree and nearly cracked her head on the floor—funny story about that—, while getting a piggy back ride from Bette, while hanging upside down from the bars in the mountain, in the middle of changing—another funny story because that was one of the nights that Robin tried to go on patrol with her, so he ended up walking into her room while she was knocked out on her bed with only her underwear on. She found out this happened because the next day Dick and Robin couldn't look at her without getting all flustered, hormonal, teenaged boy.
It was priceless.
What was even the point of that story?
Oh yeah. Artemis can sleep anywhere at any time. It's her superpower. Kid Flash can eat a crap ton, Artemis can sleep, Roy can angst, and Robin can acrobat. They're like the Fabulous(ly Lazy) Four or something.
Artemis may be able to sleep in almost anywhere, but, beyond contrary belief, underwater is not one of them. At least, not yet.
She really needs to ask Kaldur about that again…
Artemis broke through the water surface and glared at the two girls who were nearly on their knees from laughing at Artemis and her misfortune. Yep. Good friends. Thankfully, her friends were too busy laughing to notice when Artemis reached out of the water and grabbed Babs and dragged her in. Bette had a reflex and flung herself backwards onto the tile.
It didn't take long for the red head to pop up beside her, "What was that for?" she protested.
"Why did you throw me into the pool?"
Bette, being inexplicably smart, laid down on her stomach and penguin-ed it up to the edge of the pool. She propped her head on her hands and smirked at Artemis. "Well, lets see. Lately you've been a drama bug, full of teenage angst, so Babs and me agree that you need to get your butt kicked into being happy again. We have a plethora of plans of how to do that."
"And throwing me in your pool was your best idea?"
Bette narrowed her eyes, "You're not smart, are you?"
"Bette," Barbara scolded.
Bette sighed, "We are going to have the most gut wrenching sleepover ever because of how adorable we are. I am going to braid your hair in the most complicated way possible and we're going to talk about boys and how Mrs. Cree is about to burst because of her child and Dick's ass—because oh my God how did we not notice it before—and Babs is going to paint your nails and we're going to be the most girly girl people ever but then we'll play some Skyrim to break the mold of girly girl stuff and then we'll flirt with my neighbor because he's totally hot and we aren't going to even think about hero-ing and shit because your panties will get in a twist and I will not hesitate to rip them off."
The pause in the air as they waited for Artemis to respond was a bit tense. Finally, Artemis smiled, "Thanks guys."
"I told you it would work," Babs laughed form beside her.
Bette stuck out her tongue, "Shuddup, so Art…do you wanna go change because you're in my pool…in your clothes and I don't think that's good. I would have changed you into a bathing suit, but I think that borderlines on sexual assault."
All the girls shared a cheeky grin before Babs and Artemis waddled their selves out of the pool and up the steps. Bette threw them both a towel and they dried off. "Since when did you have a pool and why did you never tell me?" Artemis joked.
"Dick isn't your only friend who is richer than hell."
"Speaking of Dick, you bought the goldfish right Barbara?"
She finds the package on her fire escape and she's extremely glad that there is a slim possibility Dick is patrolling tonight—Artemis doesn't know what she would have done if Dick had opened it.
Or at least, maybe she does, he probably would have finally gone to Batman with news of what Artemis knows. How Barbara is Batgirl and how she has been helping her.
The costume was torn and ripped and quite frankly Artemis was tempted to make her a completely new costume with the material she had left over—although the costume might have a more of a green look to it than before. Instead of making Batgirl have a sudden like in green, she uses the material that she has saved up from doing quick patch jobs on Robin's outfit.
She has to nearly reconstruct the entire left leg and most of the arm too from the burn damages…Artemis didn't realize that Babs had gotten that hurt.
Was Artemis really that unobservant?
It was a thought that lingered in her mind a bit longer than it was welcome. It made her curious to if she had missed other things too…that wasn't a comforting thought. Then again, what was? Artemis at least felt a bit more secure since she had been able to spend most of the night with Babs and Bette…
…and then she snuck off.
She had early training in the morning with GA and it was either sneak out of the house at 6 AM or sneak out right now, which was 3:16 AM. Artemis doesn't know the last time that she stayed up that late—willingly.
The taste of tea was already on her tongue as an attempt to make sure that she doesn't fall asleep and end up missing the training. The shower she took prior had only managed to wake her up a bit. It didn't wake her up enough to stop her from constantly pricking her fingers on the needle as she hand sown the final parts of the cowl back together.
The knock on her window shocked her out of her little staring party she was having with the cowl and nearly made her sew some of her own skin into the cowl.
She sighed and sucked on her pricked finger and shoved the costume and the sewing supplies under her bed. It was a very clumsy way of walking as she made her way over to the window. She opened the blinds and the window. Robin's domino mask greeted her.
"What's broken?" she asked.
The domino mask crinkled a bit as he snorted, "I don't have to be limping to come see you."
"You usually are."
"Well look at me breaking tradition. So…you gonna let me in?" he asked.
She still hadn't moved from her place in the windowsill even though the air was already chilling her room. "I have to go to Star in like an hour."
He just rolled his eyes and pushed back into her and closed the window, "It's freaking cold out there. I seriously need to talk to B about putting some sleeves on this thing."
"Try parading around in a midriff."
"We're you and Babs and Bette supposed to be doing a super girly shindig thing?" he completely walked past her and went out of her room and into the living room/kitchen/pretty much the only room in the house that isn't a bedroom. He poured himself some tea from her pot and turned to look at her, "What? Spoiler. No comment?"
She rolled her eyes, "I have training, and so I left early."
"Without telling them."
"I left a note."
He seemed unamused as he sipped at the tea. His nose wrinkled, "How do you drink this stuff without any honey or anything?"
Artemis just shrugged.
Robin let out a puff of air, "Bette was so excited that you guys finally got some girl time and you left? I don't really want to deal with a moping you, a sudden thrill seeking Babs, and a girl deprived Bette, so you know what, I am going to go over to Star City with Roy and we're going to distract Ollie and give him some excuse that you're PMS-ing about Roy being a clone. And you know what you're gonna do? You are going to go over to Bette's and eat that note—no you can't throw it away, you have to eat it—and be happy. Okay?"
She smiled, "Thanks for the pep talk, Robin."
"I learned from the best."
"Batman gives pep talks?"
"Oh God no. Alfred does."
"I was scared for a second. Bye, Robin."
"Bye, Art, and listen, uhm, truce?" he offered a fist bump.
She accepted it and watched as he went back out of her window. "Oops, I lied," she snorted and pulled out her phone.
I got Dick out of his house.
Good. Move onto plan aquarium at Wayne manor?
It's a go.
Artemis smirked, of course Dick would fall for archer angst.