Chapter Notes
Again, I seem to have over written and I have two chapters to post. Thanks again to my lovely Beta Heavenli24 for all her help with editing.
Also, a special shout out to all the "Guest" readers who have sent me reviews in the last little while. Thank you all so much for leaving your comments! Even though I don't know your names, you all rock!
Veronica readied herself for a fight. Sitting in the back seat of the cruiser, headed home from the Echolls mansion on Valentine's night, every imaginary argument with Keith she could think of ran through her head. By the time the car stopped, she had come up with three sound arguments she was sure would convince her father not to strap an ankle monitor on her and place her under house arrest.
Keith opened the car door and Veronica quickly headed to the front of the house, where her mother unlocked the door. Backup greeted Veronica happily as Lianne turned on the living room lights. Shedding her coat and tossing it on the sofa, Veronica turned to face her father as he entered the house.
"Dad…" she began.
Keith held up his hand, the frown that appeared earlier still etched on his face. "Veronica, unless the next words out of your mouth are 'I'm sorry', I really don't want to hear it."
Veronica frowned. That wasn't at all what she'd been about to say. Because the only thing she was sorry for was the fact that they got caught.
Keith walked over and put his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her sadly. "Why on earth did you feel you needed to hide this from me? I thought we could talk about anything?"
A bolt of pain shot through her heart. The thought that she'd disappointed him affected her deeper than the knowledge that he was angry at her. Mad she could live with.
"I didn't want you to interfere," Veronica admitted quietly.
Keith pursed his lips. "How would I interfere?"
Veronica looked away, unable to take her father's gaze on her anymore. "Stop us from hanging out, like we did when we were just friends. Question my every move. Have us followed by your deputies."
Keith let out a laugh. "Well, I tried to have you followed and Lamb failed miserably. But as for the other things, maybe if you trusted me enough to tell me, I might have surprised you."
Veronica glanced up at her dad again. "Would you have let me keep sleeping over at Logan's house?"
Keith's eyes narrowed as his agitation began to come out once more. "I may have. But tell me, exactly where have you been sleeping in that house. Or better question, where has Logan been sleeping?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Veronica averted her eyes and took a step out of her father's grasp.
"I'm going to take that to mean that you don't sleep alone when you're over there," Keith said, his tone turning cold and harsh. "Even though Lynn gave you your own room."
"Nothing happens. We just sleep," she muttered.
Keith let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry, but that information doesn't comfort me."
"Veronica," Lianne said, taking a step closer to Keith and Veronica. "Do we need to talk about birth control?"
Veronica buried her face in her hands, shaking her head as she did. "No! Why can't you guys get it? We're not having sex!"
"Then what are you doing?" asked Keith softly.
Veronica dropped her hands from her face, her eyes darting around the room to avoid her parents' eyes. "I don't know…we're just…figuring things out."
"Figuring what out?" Keith said.
"I don't know. Just stuff," Veronica replied, her gaze dropping to her feet. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."
"Like what, honey?" asked Lianne.
Veronica bit her lip as tears began to form in her eyes. "Like this. I wasn't supposed to be in love with Logan and he wasn't supposed to be in love with me. I was supposed to find someone and he was supposed to find someone and we were supposed to be best friends forever, but that's not what happened and we're just trying to figure out what's supposed to happen instead."
Keith's expression softened as Veronica finally looked at him again, his eyes kind and loving. "When did you start feeling this way?"
"I dunno. September?" She shrugged.
"And Logan?" Keith asked.
"I dunno. Kindergarten?" Veronica replied with a small laugh.
Keith let out a chuckle. "Veronica, do you know one of the reasons why I was so upset? Besides the lying-to-me part?"
Veronica shrugged, keeping silent.
"I think of Logan as my son. He is so much part of our lives, that I see him in that way," Keith said. "Now imagine my shock and horror when I see my daughter and the boy I think of as my son making out in a movie theatre."
Veronica wrinkled her nose. Making out with her brother. "Eww."
Keith laughed. "Exactly. But then realizing that both of you had been lying to me made things worse."
Veronica hung her head again. "I'm sorry Daddy. We didn't do this to hurt you."
Keith stepped over to Veronica, wrapping her in a big hug. She placed her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him.
"I know, Veronica. I just wish you both could've trusted me to help you figure this out," Keith said.
"We wanted to figure it out ourselves, Dad," she replied. "We're not little kids anymore. You can't solve all of my problems for me."
There was a moment where everyone fell silent, taking in Veronica's words.
"I know, you're right. You aren't a child anymore," Keith began. "That's why your punishment for lying and sneaking around won't just be sending you to your room with no dessert."
This was it. The moment of truth. Wiping her eyes, Veronica stepped back from her dad, to listen to her sentencing.
"You're grounded. For a month. Home and school are the only places you will be," Keith began. "No Valentine's Dance at school. No surf classes for the month." He took a deep breath. "And no sleepovers at Logan's, ever again."
Veronica closed her eyes as hot tears sprang up once more. Her place with Logan; gone. Her place to hide from her mother's drinking and her parent's arguing; gone.
"Please," Veronica said softly. "Please don't take him away from me."
"Veronica, I'm not taking him away from you. You can still see each other at school like normal teenagers who are dating," Keith said. "But you both need some appropriate boundaries. Now, I still don't know exactly what has been going on at Logan's, but obviously something is going on with Lynn and Aaron, and I'm not confident that Lynn has been setting these boundaries. Especially when you admit that you've been 'just sleeping' together."
"But we're not having sex," Veronica said emphatically.
"It's not about you having sex or not," Keith answered, his voice a forced monotone. "It is your body, Veronica. I don't own your virginity– it's yours."
Keith stepped closer to his daughter, reaching out to gently place his hand on her cheek. "I just want to try and protect your heart. You and Logan are so young to say you're in love. I just want you to take a step back and slow down. You both have so many hopes and dreams for the future, and I don't want either of you to throw them away because of each other. Or a baby."
Veronica crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from Keith. Her father dropped his hand from her cheek with a weary sigh.
"I'm trying to do what's best for both of you. That's all. That's what I'm most concerned with."
Silence fell once again, as Veronica contemplated his words. It wasn't about sex. But it still kind of was. Her dad was mad about the sneaking around, but considered Logan a 'son'. But it didn't matter because the bottom line was she and Logan were never staying over at either of their houses again. A throbbing began behind Veronica's eyes as her brain grappled to process everything her dad was telling her.
"Can I go upstairs now?" she whispered.
Keith nodded. Without a word, Veronica fled up the stairs to her room.
Once inside, in a burst of frustration, she slammed the door, rattling the pictures on her wall. Striding to her bed, she launched herself into her pillows, covering her face while she cried.
When she was all cried out, Veronica rolled on her back to stare at the ceiling. Her dad was blowing everything way out of proportion. They wouldn't get pregnant. They wouldn't give up on their dreams. They planned to follow their dreams together. And nothing and nobody could stop them.
She closed her eyes and Logan appeared in her memory, as he always did, hovering above her, looking down at her with a gleam in his eye and a smile on his lips. Her dad could take him away from her physically, but she always had him safely tucked away in her mind.
Opening her eyes, Veronica slowly pulled herself off her bed and headed towards her dresser. Digging around, she found Logan's Pink Floyd t-shirt stuffed under a pile of her own shirts. Stripping down to her underwear, she threw the giant shirt over her head. Bringing the fabric up to her nose, she tested to make sure it still smelled like Logan – sandalwood and sweat.
Veronica turned out the lights and climbed under the covers. In the quiet darkness, she heard the faint voices of her parents, arguing downstairs. Probably about her. She let out a loud sigh. The day had begun with so much love, so much potential, and now…there was nothing but anger and heartbreak.
Rolling onto her side, she closed her eyes, trying to block out the sound of her parent's voices with her memories of Logan. She fell asleep imagining herself wrapped in his arms.
Morning came too quickly. Veronica lay in bed, Backup squeezed in next to her. Looking at the clock, she realized she didn't have to rush to get ready, as they wouldn't be picking up Logan this morning. Or any morning for that matter. With a sigh, Veronica rose from her bed to take a shower.
Throwing open her bedroom door, she was greeted by her father coming out of his bedroom. Looking her up and down, he frowned.
"Nice shirt," Keith muttered.
Veronica glanced down at Logan's t-shirt. A wave of defiance swept through her and she arched her eyebrow at her dad.
"Thanks. It's not mine."
Keith shook his head and walked past her on his way downstairs. "I'll see you at breakfast."
Veronica smiled with satisfaction. Early morning rebellion felt pretty good, she thought as she entered the bathroom. She may have to try it again sometime.
After a quick shower, Veronica stood in her underwear in front of her closet.
"Conservative sweater and jeans?" she said to Backup, who sat on the end of her bed. "Or tight jeans and tank top?"
Backup cocked his head to one side and let out a soft bark.
"Tight jeans and tank top it is!" she stated as she grabbed her clothes from the hangers. Reaching into her drawer, she grabbed her push-up bra to complete the outfit.
Bouncing down the stairs to breakfast, Veronica felt invincible. She caught her dad's eye roll as she walked to her chair to sit down.
"You're going to freeze in that," Keith stated, as he took a sip of coffee.
Veronica began piling scrambled eggs on her plate.
"So? I'll wear a jacket," she proclaimed.
The rest of the meal was consumed in silence. Veronica didn't feel like talking to her parents, and it didn't seem like her parents wanted to talk to each other either.
As she gathered her things together for school, she realized that she had left her backpack in the limo last night with everyone else's things, and hoped beyond hope that Logan remembered to bring it this morning.
The 15 minutes to school felt like an hour trapped in the back seat of the cruiser. Keith offered the front seat to Veronica but she stubbornly climbed into the back, crossing her arms over her chest, and staring out the window the entire ride.
Pulling up to the curb at school, Veronica spotted her friends gathered near a bench close to the drop off area. Seeing the cruiser, they all turned, revealing Logan standing in the middle of the group. Keith stopped the car and got out, coming around the vehicle to open the door for Veronica.
Stepping out onto the curb, she looked at her father. "Mom picking me up after school?"
Keith nodded. "She is. Have a good day."
Veronica gave him a tight smile and turned towards her friends.
"Ronnie! You're alive!" proclaimed Dick loudly.
Veronica cringed with embarrassment. She heard her dad slam the car door behind her as she continued to walk toward her friend, shaking her head.
Mac rushed over and enveloped her in a hug, almost knocking her over. "Oh my god, when Duncan and Casey told us what happened, I thought for sure your dad would have shipped you off to Penn High!"
Veronica hugged her friend back, keeping her eyes on Logan. "No. No Penn High. Kind of got house arrest but no ankle monitor for me. Yet."
Mac let go of her and Veronica caught sight of the cruiser driving by on her father's way out of the school lot. She watched it leave before walking up to Logan. He opened his arms and caught her in a giant hug, kissing the top of her head, and Veronica closed her eyes, blocking out everything around her but him.
"Let's leave them alone, guys," Casey said and the group quickly disbursed, leaving the couple on their own.
"I brought your backpack," Logan said quietly.
"Thanks," she replied.
"How bad was it?" he asked.
"Bad," Veronica said, opening her eyes. "No Valentine's dance. No surfing for a month. No going out for a month. And no sleepovers - ever again."
"Look on the bright side, we still have school," he said, attempting to remain positive. "And we can talk on the phone, right?"
Veronica nodded into his chest. At least they had that.
"Plus, with the cat out of the bag, we can now do this," Logan said, running his thumb along her jaw.
She raised her head to look up and was met with his lips on hers, kissing her tenderly. Veronica wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body closer to hers.
Hoots and hollers broke their concentration and they pulled apart to find their friends, several yards away, waving their arms and whistling at them.
Veronica rolled her eyes and stepped away from Logan. He bent to pick up her bag, along with his, and then held out his hand to her. She looked at it for a moment before weaving her fingers between his. Hand in hand, they crossed the quad.
"Oh man," said Wallace as they got closer. "Does this mean you guys will be all kissy-face from now on?"
Logan raised their clasped hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "Yep. Sorry."
Mac swatted Wallace's arm. "What do you care? You're taking Meg to the dance on Friday. You'll be all kissy-face soon, too!"
Wallace gave the group a big grin and sighed. "Yeah. I hope so."
"Well, no dance for me," Veronica said. "Grounded. Like, forever."
Everyone gave her a sympathetic nod. "What about you, Logan? Are you going?" Duncan asked.
Logan shook his head. "Nope. But not because I'm grounded. Although I did get a lecture on my un-gentleman-like behaviour."
Veronica shook her head. "Being a boy is so much easier."
"Guess your dad's regretting saying that I wasn't trouble, with a capital T." Logan joked.
Veronica gave a little laugh. "Well, besides the lying and sneaking around, he said that because he thinks of you like a son, it was like catching me making out with my brother."
The entire group let out a range of sounds, from gagging to laughter.
"He actually said I was like his son?" Logan said quietly.
The laughter immediately stopped as everyone realized he was being serious.
"Yeah," Veronica said quietly. "That's why he was so upset – he wasn't kidding that day in the car. I think he really started to think of you that way."
Logan frowned and dropped his gaze to the ground. Suddenly, the situation seemed less funny.
The sound of the bell broke the tension and everyone rushed to their lockers. Before Logan could run off, Veronica grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Hey," she said. "We'll talk in private at lunch. On the bleachers, okay?"
Logan nodded quietly then turned. She let go of his arm as they rushed to their first class.
"Why bother putting on lip gloss," said Mac to Veronica's reflection in the girls' bathroom mirror. "It's just going to end up on Logan anyway."
Veronica giggled, rubbing her lips together to spread the sparkly strawberry gloss evenly. "It helps keep them from chapping. Kissing can be very drying on the lips," she replied.
"If Logan Echolls were my boyfriend, I'd have to buy my own Chapstick factory."
Veronica turned to see Lilly standing near the door to the bathroom, dressed in her pep squad uniform, arms folded across her chest.
"That was quite the kiss on the quad today," Lilly continued. "Who knew goofy, surf bum Logan had it in him?"
Veronica leaned against the edge of the sink, crossing her arms. "What do you want, Lilly?"
Lilly glanced from Veronica to Mac and back. "We the only ones in here?"
Mac glanced towards the empty toilet stalls. "Yeah. Why?"
Lilly's eyes narrowed. "I want a minute alone with Veronica. To talk."
Veronica frowned. What on earth could Lilly want to talk to her about?
"Okay," Veronica said and nodded at Mac. "I'll catch up with you later."
Mac gave her friend a tight smile as she made her way to the door. When Mac was behind Lilly, she stuck her tongue out at the back of the girl's head.
"You know I can see you in the mirror, right?" Lilly said to Mac's reflection.
"Yeah. I know," Mac replied as she left the bathroom.
Veronica stifled a laugh. "Okay, Lilly, what's up? Come to tease me about Logan?"
Lilly leaned against the tiled half-wall across from Veronica. "No. In fact, I came to congratulate you," she stated cheerfully.
"What?" Veronica said, giving her head and little shake in shock. "I'm sorry. I don't think I heard that correctly. Was that sarcastic?"
Lilly rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "Veronica, do you know why I went after Logan?"
"Because he's hot?" Veronica shrugged.
"Well, now he's hot! But before he was just a dorky surfer." Lilly laughed. "I went after him because I was mad that you didn't want to join pep squad with me. So I thought that I could get the guys to come and hang out with me and Duncan, and you would be left with those two new geeks you hung around with."
"Mac and Wallace aren't geeks," Veronica said. "They're really cool people."
"Who happen to be geeks," Lilly countered. "Regardless, I knew that you were, like, totally in love with Logan and that it would really upset you if I hit on him."
"I wasn't in love with Logan then," Veronica replied.
Lilly shook her head. "Oh, sweetie, you've been in love with Logan since I met you guys. And vice versa. You could see it. Well, we could see it. Guess you guys were a little slow on the uptake."
Veronica covered her eyes with her hands for a moment. "What is your point, Lilly, other than giving me a headache?"
Lilly stepped closer as Veronica dropped her hands from her eyes. "Look, I want to call a truce. I won't bug you or Logan again."
Veronica arched her eyebrow suspiciously. "For the record, I've never been at war with you, Lilly. Even though I know you were the one who defaced my locker with porn."
A scowl crossed Lilly's face. "You didn't want to be on pep squad with me! And you chose those geeks over me!"
"Lilly, me not being on pep squad wasn't about you," Veronica replied. "I just don't see myself being very 'peppy', that's all. I still thought we would hang out to surf and stuff."
Lilly bit her lip and began twisting the end of her long ponytail around her finger. "Well, that's not what it looked like. It looked like you were being a crappy friend."
Veronica smiled, finally beginning to understanding what had really transpired. Tough talking, confident Lilly Kane had been mad all this time because she felt hurt by Veronica's actions.
"Lilly, I'm sorry if that's what it looked like to you," Veronica began. "I just wanted to include everyone, that's all. I didn't think you would get mad."
A pout crossed Lilly's lips. "Yeah, well, I don't like sharing. Especially my friends."
There was a moment of silence as the girls stared at each other, wondering who was going to make the next move.
"Sorry about the locker," Lilly muttered, her eyes cast to the ground.
"Thanks," Veronica replied.
"And –" Lilly began hesitantly. "Thanks for getting rid of Aaron. Logan told me that you were involved...and like…since I know he tells you everything, I'm sure he told you about the tape, and stuff."
"Yeah. Logan told me about what Aaron tried to do to you," Veronica said, quietly. "But he also said that you kicked Aaron in the balls, which was kind of awesome."
Lilly gave an ironic little laugh. "Score one for pep squad high kicks."
"You know, my Dad enrolled me in self defense classes. I can get you the info, if you want?" Veronica offered, trying to be nice.
Lilly shrugged. "Maybe."
Another awkward silence fell between them. Were they friends again? Were they 'not enemies'? Veronica wasn't too sure what to think of the whole situation. All she knew was this was cutting into valuable alone time with Logan.
Veronica sighed, taking a small step away from the sink, she adjusted her backpack. "Well, thanks for the chat, Lil, but I gotta run."
"So, though, we're cool now? Right?" Lilly asked, her eyes narrowing.
Veronica nodded. "Yeah. For now, I guess, we're cool."
"Cool," Lilly replied with a smile.
Taking a deep breath, Veronica walked past Lilly and went out the door. As she made her way quickly through the school, to meet Logan, she ran through the conversation with Lilly, in her head, once more. She wasn't sure she could completely trust her old friend, but for now, she was glad that a possible obstacle for her and Logan seemed to be removed.
By the time she reached the bleachers, Logan was already there, laying across the one of the benches, half-way up the structure, sunning himself. She shimmied along the planks and sat near his head as he looked up and smiled.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"So, was it really brutal when you got home?" he asked.
Veronica shrugged. "Yeah. Kind of. When we talked it was fine, I guess. But the punishment was hard to take."
"What did your Dad say?"
Veronica began playing with a stray lock of Logan's hair, twirling it around and around with her finger.
"Besides the whole thing about being disappointed we didn't trust him to tell him stuff," Veronica said, looking down into Logan's eyes. The sadness in her father's face drifted through Veronica's thoughts, making her chest tighten.
"He also said that having sex with you was for me to decide, not him, and that he was trying to 'protect my heart' and look out for our futures." She added.
"What does that mean?" Logan asked.
"I think he thinks that we'll give up on our career dreams, just to be together," Veronica said quietly. "Or we'll get pregnant and end up caring for a baby, instead of going to college."
"So, he doesn't think we can do both – be together and be successful?" Logan said.
"I think he's just worried about us, in general," Veronica stated. "Even though he says that sex is my choice, I think it still scares him that we could slip up and have a kid."
Logan frowned up at her. "I really, really, don't want a kid. Like, for a very, very long time."
For a moment, the thought of Logan – older, taller, with a scruffy beard – holding a newborn baby, flashed through her mind. Her abdomen tightened and her heart did a flip. Veronica pushed the image from her head. There would be plenty of time for those thoughts later. Much later.
Veronica smiled at his upside-down face. "Neither do I. Poopy diapers and no sleep don't sound very romantic."
"So, we stay away from anything that could get you pregnant then, just in case," Logan stated, his voice full of concern.
Veronica bit her lip. "That still leaves us with lots of options," she said flirtatiously.
"I'm pretty sure your dad wouldn't approve of any of those other things either." Logan chuckled.
"Well, not like we'll get any opportunities to do anything more than this for some time," she laughed. "So, you know, no chance to actually have sex means we're safe. Score one for us!"
"That's the spirit," Logan said with a grin, reaching for her hand.
"I'm going to miss sleeping next to you," Veronica said, her fingers intertwining with his.
"You can call me before bed and I'll lull you to sleep with my soothing voice," he drawled playfully.
"We can pass each other notes in school," she added. "So I have something to read before bed."
"We can, so long as you don't lose them," Logan countered, shaking a finger at her playfully. "Your Dad hasn't killed me yet. Don't give him a reason."
"He won't kill you. I doubt he would kill his own son," she said, trying to be reassuring.
"God, when I disappointed Aaron he would beat me. Now that I disappointed your Dad, I feel like beating myself. That's all I could think about during class." Logan covered his eyes with his palms and groaned. "My therapist is going to have a field-day when I tell her."
"See. Aren't you glad your mom made you go? Now there's someone you can talk to about this," Veronica said.
"True. I did talk to my Mom for a while last night," Logan said, uncovering his eyes to look at her again. "She actually wants to serve Aaron with the divorce papers sooner."
Veronica frowned. "Why? What changed?"
Logan shrugged. "I think she's feeling more confident, being on her own. She sure looked confident when she stood up to your dad last night."
A grin crossed Veronica's face at the memory of Lynn defending them. "This is true."
"She said that your dad would probably say you couldn't come over anymore. And that he would ground you until you were at least 16." He chuckled. "With us not hanging out as much, it would mean that you and I would be less likely to end up in the tabloids, when the paparazzi descend on our lives."
The image of her and Logan, making out in the theatre, plastered on the cover of US Weekly, made her cringe. "Could you imaging if my Dad found out about us from a paparazzi photo?"
Logan shivered. "I would definitely be in prison."
"Speaking of prisons, my new plan is to grow my hair long enough that you can climb up it through my bedroom window," she laughed.
"Changing your name to Rapunzel?" he said, uncovering his eyes and smiling up at her.
"If the glass slipper fits…" she teased.
"That was Cinderella," he said.
"I know. But her family tried to keep her from going to the ball too," she giggled.
"So you're staying home and reading fairy tales while locked in your tower instead of going to the Valentine's Dance?"
"Pretty much the plan," she replied, leaning over him. Gently, she gave him a quick peck on the lips and smiled.
"At least we have this," he said quietly.
"At least we have this," she replied.