Timeless (XXV)
Outside their bedroom Molly caught up to Arthur and held him back. She smiled warmly up to him and tried not to show her anger.
"Are you feeling sleepy, darling? Tonks can clean up the kitchen, let's just go to bed", said Molly, a little more hopefully than intended.
"I would have expected my wife to understand that I'm just not ready yet", said Arthur a little angrily.
"But, Arthur, the healer said that you could do everything you did before", amended Molly softly.
"That's all very well for him to say. The healer is not me."
"Arthur, what are you saying?"
"I made a decision. I have given up sex", said Arthur finally.
He went into their room, closing the door in her face. Molly couldn't believe it. She tried the door but found it locked. Arthur had locked himself into their bedroom. 'Perhaps he is just melodramatic', thought Molly. She patted the door between them and sighed heavily. But still something was very heavy on her heart. She couldn't believe that Arthur really meant what he had said. It was preposterous to think he had given up sex entirely. They hadn't got seven children without fooling around and he had always enjoyed the experience as much as she had. And before the operation he had barely been able to control himself.
"Give him time. He'll come around", said Molly quietly to herself but she couldn't shake the feeling that her husband was withdrawing from her.
----
Two weeks later Billy and Arthur sat together when Sirius joined them. He was unusually grave and had a deep frown on his forehead. He sat down on the couch a little bit away from father and son. From afar he watched their chess play.
"I never liked chess. Professor McG always told me that I didn't have the foresight required to play chess."
Both Arthur and Bill heard the strain it took Sirius to have an amiable conversation. Something was on the man's mind. Arthur observed him for quite some time but Sirius didn't speak and he turned back to his chess game with Bill.
After a while, though, Sirius stood up from the couch and moved over. Arthur looked up and wondered briefly what had gotten into the man. It made no sense to ask questions, he would come out with it as soon as he was ready.
Finally Sirius mustered up his nerve to spill what bothered him.
"May I ask what you have done to Molly?" he asked over his shoulder, since he had turned to the fire place.
"What do you mean?" asked Arthur back, more sharply than necessary. That more than anything showed Sirius that he had shot a bull's eye.
"She seems frustrated, is all", muttered Sirius, intensely uncomfortable messing with his friend's marriage. "She's down in the kitchen, and I've never seen her more aggressive towards the food. It's not that it has offended her."
Bill tried to hide his grin, not very successfully, and answered Sirius:
"Well, I guess Mum's really a bit sexually frustrated."
He winked at his father suggestively.
"I don't know what to expect of myself with these things in me. I just keep remembering that after a heart attack you can sleep with woman as soon as you climbed a case of stairs", Arthur said, as way of explanation.
"Maybe you should make love more slowly, then" suggested Bill, quiet drily. Then he moved his queen and put his father in check.
"It was not an easy decision. But I think it best if I retire from that physical side of my life. Sex is only good when you're heart is in it and that's the one organ I can't count on."
Without any distress, Arthur moved his king to the side and waited for Bill to continue their game.
"Oh, now, Arthur, come on. You don't know that. But listen if that's the way you feel maybe you should tell Molly so that she knows where she stands", said Sirius, "because right now he's going nuts."
----
That very evening Molly gathered all her courage and strength and asked Arthur out. She had made a reservation at the restaurant where Arthur had popped THE question to her 24 years ago. If that couldn't get him back into a romantic mood, nothing could. Arthur accepted hesitantly, remembering all too clearly what had happened the last time they had visited that particular restaurant.
They had a terrific time there and laughed together. Molly heaved a big sigh. Arthur finally got over this crazy mood of his. During their shared meal, Molly slowly scooted closer to Arthur and by the time they ordered dessert she sat mere millimetres away from him with his arm around her waist.
Arthur couldn't explain to himself why he allowed her to come so damn close to him. He knew his wife and he loved her but she was so incredibly irresistible. Why was his body reacting to her as if nothing had happened? Why did his mind allow his body to take over?
"That was a lovely evening", he said and tried to qualm his rising attraction to Molly's flirtatious mood.
"I thought you didn't realize. You hardly said a word all evening", said Molly softly, snuggling into Arthur's side and doing the most peculiar things to his libido.
Arthur draws in his breath sharply and extracted himself from her. Only momentarily did he see the hurt feelings shining in Molly's eyes.
"Well, alright then let's go home", she said and got up abruptly, turning her back on him and stalking of to gather their cloaks.
Arthur was mentally kicking himself. He hadn't found the courage to talk to his wife yet and felt guilty for having upset her in such a way. He didn't want to hurt her but it seemed to be the only possible thing to do. He couldn't endanger himself by sleeping with her. She would never forgive herself if she killed him, he knew that and pushed her away to spare her this kind of distress and heartbreak.
When they apparated in front of the Headquarters, Arthur knew he had to talk to Molly if he didn't want to lose her completely. As soon as they entered the house, he took Molly's hand and led her to the living room.
"Molly, come here and sit with me."
Molly came forward eagerly, trying to snuggle into him, but again he pushed her away slightly. He sat down a little distance away from her and tried to explain himself.
"Molly, this is hard to say but you have a right to know. The last time we made love, was the last time."
"What are you talking about?" asked Molly sharply. "I thought what you said two weeks ago was only your medication or your fear of doing it too soon after the operation. But ..."
"I know and I have given up the physical side of my life. After what I've been through, I cannot trust myself to climax anymore because I can't be sure ever getting back again."
"I know you have to be concerned about that triple bypass", said Molly, now growing impatient with Arthur and not caring if it showed.
"Wouldn't you be?" asked Arthur challengingly.
Molly sighed and pressed index finger and thumb to the base of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. She tried to speak calmly and rationally. Maybe she could take away Arthur's fears.
"I talked to some people after their surgeries. They all lead perfectly normal lives, in every way, Arthur."
Again her impatience showed. And Arthur, too, grew impatient.
"But this is me. Oh, Molly, for the first time in my life I'm scared of intimacy with you", he shot az her, both furious and miserable.
"Maybe this is my fault. Maybe I've been pushing you", said Molly, picking up on the note of panic in Arthur's voice.
"It's not you", wailed Arthur, getting up and pacing the room to vent some of his own frustration.
Molly also got up and joined Arthur. She didn't even attempt to hug Arthur, just leaned her forehead to his back and stood there.
"Arthur, you are the same person you always were. You have to believe that."
"Oh, I want to, Molly, and I have tried but I can't."
Arthur's voice still resembled more a child's terrified wail than a grown man's determined voice. Molly's eyes filled with tears and they overflowed, trickling down her cheeks. Arthur had stepped away from her and left her alone, like so many other times now.
"Darling, this is not the time for you to give out on us", she pleaded softly, hugging herself in a desperate wish for consolation. Apparently Arthur wasn't able to anymore.
"Molly, it's over, once and for all", he said in a deflated, dead voice.
He stood with his back to Molly, facing the door and ready to leave.
"Oh, alright, but I want a last kiss."
Molly was playing her last trump. She stepped forward and slung her arms around Arthur's neck. Looking deeply into his eyes, she sees fear mingled with passion and the desperate need to be kissed and feel alive. Slowly and seductively she raised herself onto tiptoes until only inches separated their faces. Her lips pressed lightly to his, relishing in the feel of the so familiar experience. Her arms drew him closer to her, deepening the kiss. Arthur returned the kiss hesitantly but with as much passion as he was kissed by his wife. Molly's tongue darted out and licked his lower lip, begging for entrance. This time Arthur complied willingly and eagerly.
When they parted finally Arthur frantically checked his pulse and heart beat. One of his hands went around the wrist of the other. Index and middle finger pressing on the pulse, counting frantically. Then his hand went up to his chest, covering his fast beating heart.
"So, how are you feeling?" asked Molly, smiling at him.
"I'm alright, ... I guess. I don't feel any ... failure. I'm a little hot but it's nothing I can't handle."
"What did you expect to happen?"
"I don't know. I just ...", Arthur stated lamely.
"I love you, Arthur. Please don't shut me off."
"Let's go to our bedroom ... as long as you understand that I can't promise anything", said Arthur at last, watching a radiant smile spread across his wife's face, lighting it up.
"If you're brave, I will be brave", reassured Molly.
A./N.: Three guesses as to what comes next? ;) And a big party.