CHAPTER OF CONTINUATION 10

25th of December, marked as a special day known as Christmas Eve. It's winter, where the sun doesn't mean to burn, and wind isn't mildly nice, like the other season.

Looks like this year, I'll be spending the special day alone… again…

The Life of a jerk cannot be more unfortunate, isn't it?

If you're asking about the other girls I knew through popularity, surely they did give me invitation, especially the bold ones. But, I rejected them all as I replied "I have works on Christmas Eve, sorry."

It wasn't actually a lie, I did have a job. Presently, I'm in a meeting, giving out speech about the graph on the grand sale of the teen magazine. While I'm here, I couldn't feel the outside air, only the warm breeze from the heater.

Of course I had tried to get a day off but Misaki always insisted. She used the words like "You don't have anyone to spend with, aren't you? Just get to work, we can celebrate together at night." Somehow, I feel like she kind of know what the actual condition of my life.

We had six major female employees in the entertaining industry were presenting themselves including Fujima Misaki. Probably, most of the people here meet the similar condition as mine, rendering their day to become less lovable.

"You may want to see the sudden decline on the sale 2 months ago."

As I pointed a fluctuating line graph using a teaching stick. It wasn't too much of a downfall but the negative gradient was noticeable. The graph showed production cost against the profit gain over the whole year.

So, I was standing here to give proper closure about the annual sale so that we could improve it till the next year.

The audience hummed in understanding.

"I've done some research on the magazine in which the new page we implemented at the same time doesn't receive much response."

I took the magazine taken from the previous two series which I had prepared prior the meeting. I asked Misaki to get one for me since the series wasn't available in market. She's now sitting, focused on my speech near my side.

I flipped each page until I got myself at page 19. Then, I showed it to them.

"—The 'Monthly Special Quiz'… -First of all I want to say, it's ridiculous and boring."

I always give out speech blatantly which is considered to be a little rude but since I've been approved of doing so. There wouldn't be much complaints.

"—We don't offer any price to the person who has answered them correctly. Also, regarding to that, we've received less constructive criticism, but abundant of destructive complaints."

These complaints weren't usually be shown in the magazine of the next series, instead it was present on our website. Every internet surfer who is fan of the magazine should know.

"So what we should do to overcome it?" one of the employees speaks.

Without a little bit of feeling guilty, I answer.

"As I said, the quiz provided doesn't make sense. It's very hard to solve in commoner's opinion. So, we should prepare a proper gift for the winner."

"Then, we have to spend more resource on that."

"If that's so, remove completely the content or replace it with a better idea."

Everyone looked at each other face and mumbled between themselves. I after taking a short breather, stood still in front of them.

I can't blame them for not being able to see this because most of them are good at their own career but not analyzing. Fashion designer, animators, typewriter and a chief director.

While giving them to discuss the problem thoroughly, I took my step near the windows. It's closed with office curtain so I had to flipped it a bit to see the outside view.

I hope I can see a White Christmas this year too.

I remember the last moment I spent the day with Ayase. It was covered with snow, beautifully described the season and our relationship. Also the day I left her.

Blending in, Misake spoke.

"I apologize for forcing you into the meeting."

I touched the glass of the window, feeling the border line between warmth and coldness.

"Not really, it's not like I have things to do right now."

"What's wrong? Reminiscing the seconds with your lover?"

"You call it lover eh…? If that's the word, then it is…"

Misaki and I remained silent while the people behind us kept on with their discussion.

Not enough thinking about my sibling, I would be graduating from high school on the next spring. Soon enough, I'll be called an adult.

"Alright Aragaki-san. We've come into a conclusion."

I turned around upon hearing the call but then suddenly.

Bizz*Bizz*

My phone was buzzing out of the blue, stopping every action performed. Calmly, I took out the phone and read the name of the caller.

Mother….

Ignoring any further concern, I picked up the call.

"Hello."

At first, I heard no voice but it gradually became louder... and I heard someone's sobbing.

"…Oka-san…?"

The sobbing kept getting louder until the owner's voice spoke out.

"...Sa-Satoshi…" *snivels*

"What's the matter?"

I kept my calm even though I was responding to my mother's sudden and unexpected expression.

"…H-help Ayase!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She…she…!"

Mother couldn't finish her sentence. Maybe because of the overflow devastated feeling she's suffering.

Despite her unbeknownst situation, I was here on the call, getting the attention as everyone's looking sharply at me with various facial expression. I tried not to make another fuss out of the field.

I took a deep breath.

"Oka-san, calm down. We can't proceed properly like this."

"…"

After hearing an appeasement from her son, she somehow managed to hang on tight.

"She won't come out from her room! I thought she will do like she did in the past after your farewell!"

"How about Oyaji? Can't he do something?"

"He's currently out overseas for work!"

I guess other people work too on this beautiful day.

Even though… that damn father, why is he out in this crucial situation? This doesn't fit well into my story.

I remained quiet, keeping my sense up to the highest priority as I closed my eyes.

"…."

This might be time for me to face it all. Time to express my real feeling… out and all. Still holding the phone on my ear, I goes deeper into my thought.

"…"

"—Alright oka-san, I'll be there in minutes."

"Thank you, Satoshi."

The call ended with a graceful thank-you from a lovely mother.

I stared at the employees then back to Misaki. I put the least emotion onto the stare but it's useless, Misaki realized it. She gave me a 'go now' sign as soon as we exchanged eye contact. Then she announced,

"Looks like we have to postpone the meeting to the other day. For now, we're dismissed."

Everybody didn't really know the exact situation but each of them never failed to show sympathy.

The next second I thanked Misaki, I rushed out of the door. Running and running through the hall which contained almost no people, and waiting for the lift to reach the current floor. As the number on top of the lift was shifting in increasing order, my brother's worries were becoming stronger and eventually it would become indefinite.

Ting*

Zap! I entered the lift, immediately pressing the G and spammed close-the-door buttons.

"Goddamn, this lift is so slow!"

I cursed the lift but it changed nothing. It went downward at the same speed it went upward.

"…"

Ting*

After the lift reached the G floor, I ran toward the main hall and lastly the main entrance. As the automatic door was open, cold air quickly dispelled the warmth away from my body.

The light of the city splashed before my eyes with variety of colors. In response of that, my eyes performed a focal adjustment due to the light. There's tons of people walking around the city in their warming outfit under the night sky.

At the same time, I felt like I may collapse anytime soon.

Pants*Pants*

Although I just made a small run, I sweat quite heavily. I looked around restlessly while panting hard, seeking the shortest way to my family's home.

The train is probably packed in current time, the traffic by cars is seen by my own eyes, hardly make a move. And if I were to run straight home, I'll be dead half-way, there's no way I can make it.

Damn it. It's hard to accept even though it is just a speculation.

Neglecting any more time wasting, I was headed off to the right road. I ran and kept running, breaching against the night cold air and evading each of the pedestrian that I came across.

Pants*Pants*

I could't help it, I was becoming irrational. The chaos of extreme worries that was lingering in my head spreads like a wildfire.

Arghh! This is too tiring. Why I must run?

I don't know!

"Ah….a…ah…."

After an unknown duration of running, I came across something terribly ridiculous.

"I LOVE MY LITTLE SISTER!"

"THAT'S WHY I CAN'T GO OUT WITH YOOOUUU!"

"I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYONE!"

"I DON'T WANT TO LET HER GO!"

"I WANT HER TO BE MY SIDE!"

"I DECIDED TO GO TELL HER HOW I FEEL!"

"SO, I CAN'T ASNWER YOUR FEELING!"

"I LOVE, AND LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART!"

"I'M A PERVERT WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH HIS LITTLE SISTER!"

What in the world?! An unimaginable idiot just confessed his absurd feeling using loudspeaker in public!

I instantly stopped running in response.

Every man on the street was getting confused and dumfounded by those confessions. They looked at a particular van painted with Siscaly character.

But then, everyone changed sight toward a couple upon hearing a yell. The couple was having an argument.

"It's exactly as you heard!" the guy said.

"—All so I could confess to my little sister!"

The girl's face became red and stuttered on the first line.

"Ah…."

"—A-are you an idiot?"

"—Do you understand what you've done?"

Huh, isn't that, Kirino?

And that guy… I've seen him before…

Really, I have no idea what is going on!

Ignoring their argument, I resumed running toward the right path in which I needed to bypass the said van.

As I was running by the van, I caught a glimpse of someone who I might know.

"Huh?"

But due to an unstable emotion, I decided not to stop at any cost.

I started to sweat back

Now I arrived at the train station.

My assumption never fails me, it was true! Packed, hellishly packed! Despite the slim chance of getting on the next train, I struggled without fear, wedging in between the crowd. The train was already there just waiting for passengers to get in before moving on.

The next few moment, I hopped in the train without concern for other people.

Pssss*

The train moved.

Pants*Pants*

There was no seat available for me so I stayed in front of the exit. I breathe in deeply, trying to relax and prepare for the next run.

"…."

The air here was quiet although filled with countless people. Only the electrical sound of a moving train could be heard.

Dup*Dup*Dup*Dup*

The sound matched my pounding heart.

Afterward,

Pssss*

I began rushing through the crowd and fell out of the train station. I moved closer and closer to the desired destination.

The real vacancy started here, the area was so quiet. Also, there were barely any street lamps alive. But that didn't prevent me moving further.

I keep sprinting on where I thought was the right direction.

Pants*Pants*

Until finally, I arrived at my home.

I stopped there in behind the doorstep that brought me endless nostalgia.

"At last… I'm still here… eh?"

I always wish not to come here ever again, but I guess... not today...

I relaxed a bit, easing my top racing heartbeat.

As I was about to press the doorbell, I came to think.

"It's my home, isn't it? There's no need to ring the doorbell…"

I slowly opened the door. With my heart was finally eased, it pounded again.

Mother was already there, standing and waiting for a lifetime surprise. A son coming back home after a long time.

Her face showed the priceless grace and grate as soon as her son opened the home's door. Her eyes were shedding with tears.

Quickly, she rushed and hugged her son tightly as she could.

"Welcome home, Satoshi."

The snivel started.

"—I really wanted to see you."

She then pulled back her hug and looked into me.

I, with a smile, said.

"Yea… I'm home…."

"You really haven't changed…."

"You too…."

"Of course….-"

She wiped her tears using her long-sleeve shirt.

"—I wanted to look the same as your mother."

The mother now wasn't my biological mother. She should be my stepmother but I didn't feel like that. The bond between us kept is bound like a real family.

"Thank you, oka-san."

I looked around the house and the stair leading to the upper floor.

"—Where's Ayase?"

"She's in her room…"

I grabbed her hands gently and put it down.

"I'm going to her."

She nodded with "Hm."

"—Please, help her."

"I understand."

I went to the stair and took each of the rung carefully and slowly, hardly making any sound. Then, I arrived before the room of my little sister.

This is the time… the decider…

I took really, really… deep breath and released the air until my lungs were empty.

I lifted my fist in the air and trying to knock the door.

Hesitation almost overcome me. However I managed to knock the door once.

"…"

No answer.

Again, I breathed in and out.

I knocked the door twice.

"…"

No answer.

I knocked the door thrice and nervously called out, "Ayase."

"—Are you in there?"

"…"

Still no answer.

"—I'm coming in."

I twisted the doorknob slowly and opened the door leisurely. My eyes caught pitch-black darkness, there's no light alive at that time.

"…"

"WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO ENTER?!" Ayase chided on me with a striking and ferocious voice.

I was startled, only my right leg managed to enter beyond the borderline of the room.

Her voice stunned me, never thought she would scold me that malignantly.

I swallowed hard, feeling it until the deepest part of the throat.

"…A…ah… t-the door…was unlocked…."

I couldn't see anything but hear the scary voice. I wish I could get my hand on the lamp switch.

"…"

It took time before she replied, so I took another step inside.

"SO? DOES THE DOOR HAVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU PERMISSION?"

This time she didn't yell, but her voice stayed with the same pitch.

I couldn't answer that…

"…"

I took another breath, calming myself down.

It's okay… she doesn't mean any harm. I know it, just like always. She's just visually scary, but a kind and respectful person.

Trying to avoid pseudo-threat coming from the darkness, I flipped the switch, turning on the lamp.

There, I saw Ayase was sitting on the bed with both her legs folded and knee up touching her face. As her hands, made another shield around the upper body.

Two years had passed, currently I got to see the exact view of Ayase's today appearance. Without feeling guilty, instead with a mysterious courage.

I came closer to her.

"STAY AWAY!"

Keeping her stance, she warned me but I continued moving forward.

"I SAID, STAY AWAY!"

Her warning didn't halt my movement, I kept doing so until I reached her.

Now, I was standing near her, not knowing what to do next.

With tears and choking voice, she asked me sadly.

"….Why….why…. did you come now…?

Snivels*

"—Want to see your little sister in despair?!"

Snivels*

"No…. I just-"

"You sadist freak!" she preceded against me.

Oh god… what do I do?

I came here with good intent but my little sister accused me of being on the villain's side.

Stop thinking and act! Satoshi!

Remain speechless, I hugged my little sister.

"I'm sorry…"

"You liar!"

"I'm sorry…"

"You jerk!"

"I'm sorry…."

"You're the worst!"

"I'm sorry…"

"I hate you, I hate you!"

"I'm sorry…"

The scene went with me apologizing countless times and with her, cursing me with all her feeling.

"I really, really, really…hate you!"

"I'm… so… sorry…."

Then, she started to cry for real. As she revealed her face and hugged me back.

"Waaaaa! Why did you leave me? Why I couldn't be loved?!"

I tightened my hug and stroked the back of her hair.

"It's alright, it's alright… I'm here, I won't leave you again…"

"Idiot!"

She continued crying, stuffing her face onto my shirt. The salty tears came in contact with me as I felt its presence.

I couldn't do anything but apologize. If apologizing wasn't enough, I would be the comforting arm for this girl's soul.

"Hu…waaaa!"

She cried… like a little girl, letting out all her gratefulness.

….

"…."

….

I waited, as the bearer, for his little sister to calm down. It took me almost an hour before she let me go.

"Have you calmed down?"

"Yea…."

When I tried to release her, she insisted.

"—Just a little bit… more…"

"—Please…"

I sighed, in mind I said, "My, my."

Looking up the ceiling, I asked her in a very gentle voice.

"What's the matter?"

Keeping her position, reassuring her face on me, she answered,

"I got dumped by a siscon."

"A…ha… That's atrocious."

"You're also the same."

"That is more atrocious… I had a hard time coming here you know."

"Then that makes onii-chan a siscon too. Don't you have a better thing to do on this special day? You womanizer."

"There's no better thing than meeting my little sister."

She smiled and grinned.

"Lie, you even left me for nothing."

"Like I said… I'm sorry… I apologize already, cut me some slack…"

"I don't want to~"

I sighed again, in disappointment.

Although Ayase said all these stuffs, she actually asked me to spoil her more. I expected her to punch me or something, but it turned out to be better. Maybe the timing was too right.

I looked out the window, the tiny space between the curtains, I saw an elegant nighttime.

"Say, there's a lot of time left before Christmas Eve ends… Want to go for a date?"

She nodded and hummed.

"Sure…"

"Okay then, get ready for it. I'll wait outside."

I released my little sister from the hug, then we came into eye contact. The crying trace was still there, wrapped in red and tears.

I smiled in response.

Feeling nostalgic, I stood up and viewed around the room. There, I saw a handcuff on the table. That alone made me feel a little scared, but due to Ayase's current condition. I could say I am relieved, for now.

Before I took a step out of the room, Ayase called me.

"Onii-chan."

I turned around and answered.

"Yes?"

Without warning, a punch flied off into my face.

Pap*

I fell down.

Uh... Huh...?

"What's that for?!"

She smiled, leaning her head to the side and said.

"Welcome home, onii-chan. That's for leaving me… Though, I don't think it's enough."

Damn it, I should never expect anything.

I laughed wryly, hearing she said that it wasn't enough had me there. I couldn't imagine how much she meant by 'enough'.

I stood up while covering the sore spot.

"Haa…. I'm home… and, once again, I'm sorry…"

"Umm!" she nodded.

"—Once again, you're not forgiven."

"I see… Well, I'll make you do so."

"Try your best!"

This reunion wasn't bad nor was it good. However, this was the beginning of our new relationship, after a long time it was broken.

I could no longer regret things, I was happy, indescribable by a mere word.

I stepped outside, giving a room for Ayase to get ready for our sooner date.

I unclimbed the stairs the same pace I climbed it, then I met mother in the living room. She was looking at the window with good and grace. Afterward, she noticed my presence.

"How is Ayase?" she asked, low.

"She's good, we'll be going out tonight."

"Is that so…"

She came closer to me and gently stroke my hair afterward caressed my face.

No movement she made after that, keeping still as it is.

Silence stayed beside us.

"Oka-san…?"

"Just a little bit… I want to see my son's face…"

"…"

After a while, she put her hand down.

"—Have fun."

And went to her room.

Before she completely vanished from my sight, I called out a sarcasm,

"It's too bad, oyaji wasn't here for the Christmas Eve with you…"

...at least I didn't mean to.

My so-called sarcasm caused her to smirk,

"Idiot~ Kids shouldn't be worried about their parents' affair."

And then she left completely.

I know she feels lonely right now. While I can't hide things from her, she can't hide things that are visible to me.

"That is so unmotherly…"

"…"