Night settled into the pink and gray horizon and an idle wind blew through the yard. Vin held himself curled into an Adirondack chair on the deck. He'd managed to eat most of his dinner, and managed to keep it down, though he couldn't say what it was he'd eaten. He had a glass of ice tea in his hand though, so he knew what he was drinking. Chris sat in the chair opposite Vin, with Billy sprawled asleep in his lap. Out front they could hear the jangle of collar and leash as Mary took Cowboy for a walk.

Vin wanted to say something, but commenting on the weather was so shallow it was painful. And the things he did want to talk about were too painful all on their own. Every single moment of the last forty-eight hours spun through his Vin's brain, from the split second he heard Maria scream, right up to the moment just past that Chris had brought him out a refill of ice tea. And all the broken agonizing moments in between.

Surprisingly though, Vin found a few good moments to dwell on too - laughing at Chris' poor laundry skills with Buck and Josiah at his apartment, eating bananas and milk at midnight while Chris told him about the problem at work, hugging Maria and knowing she was safe. Now this minute, sitting out in the warm and the wind, comfortable for a little while, feeling safe and protected with Chris no more than five feet away.

It seemed funny now to think back on the first time they met. How long ago was it? Three years? Vin'd come upon Chris hauling a few boxes of belongings from his truck to his office in the Administration Building and offered him a hand. Never thought that a simple friendly gesture would have such an impact on his life all this time later. Vin didn't even want to consider what his life would be like right now, right this minute, if he didn't have Chris for a friend.

Still, his brain conjured the images. If nothing else was different except he wasn't friends with Chris, Vin knew he'd still be at his apartment, lost and disoriented in the wreckage that he wouldn't have had the strength or will to clean up on his own. Every bit of furniture he owned would be stacked at the front door, and he'd be too sickened by what happened to set foot in the bathroom long enough to take a shower. He'd still be sitting at his little table, in pain and misery and isolation, overcome with nausea, and horrified at the prospect of getting on with his life.

But he was friends with Chris. He had summoned the nerve to leave his apartment and - though reluctantly - start getting his life back together. Even more reluctantly, he'd survived the first wave of humiliation that other people knew what'd happened - first Nathan and Rain, then Chris and Buck. Though it was easier telling Josiah, Vin knew he never would have told him if he didn't have that fortress of Larabee waiting by in case anything spun out of control.

So now, here he was. Bearable pain twinged through him, held at bay with his pain killers. He'd eaten, though he couldn't remember what. He was warm enough, comfortable to be sitting here out in the open. He pushed away the aching certainty whispering to him that sooner or later, Chris would get tired of baby-sitting him and leave him just as alone and miserable as he'd ever been. Vin made himself not believe that for now. The horror still hovered around the edges of his awareness, and would undoubtedly jump him whenever it got the chance. But Vin knew he had a safe place to come to whenever that happened. He knew, because he was there right now.

*/*/*/*

Chris kept watch over Vin out of the corner of his eye as he gazed out over his land. Vin shifted every once in awhile, Chris figured he was just trying to get comfortable with his collection of aches and pains, but he seemed quiet over all, probably a mixture of painkillers and eating a decent amount of food at dinner. Vin had the picture frame open and lying against his chest, Chris wondered if he even was conscious of it being there, it'd become almost an appendage. They'd have to figure a safer way for Vin to carry it with him.

Tomorrow was a problem for Chris. He hated to leave Vin on his own, but he had to get back to his office and work on the Environmental services disaster. It wasn't something he could handle from home. Then he wondered what he was thinking - work be damned. Vin was hurt and scared, and if Chris had to take an unpaid leave of absence to help his friend get through this, he would. God help the person who told him otherwise.

So a half hour passed, both men grappling with the problems of the world silently, but not entirely alone. Vin finished his tea and set the glass on the deck next to his chair. Mary came back with Cowboy, and took Billy out of Chris' arms to carry to bed. Vin finally looked over to Chris and asked:

"Be okay if I come to work with you tomorrow? Give you a hand sortin' through James' mess?"

Half a dozen arguments against that very idea sprang up in Chris' mind - it was too soon, Vin was too poor physically and too vulnerable emotionally to spend a day relatively in public, he needed to rest, he needed to heal - but Chris nodded. "Sounds good."

*/*/*/*

Buck drove to JD's apartment, a block away from the University. He found him at the side of the building tossing a bag of garbage into the dumpster as the overhead streetlight sputtered and hummed to life.

"You want to tell me what the hell that was all about?" Buck demanded even before he'd shut the truck door. The thought crossed JD's mind to pretend he didn't know what Buck was talking about, it showed in his eyes.

"I heard it at school -"

"Yeah, you heard all right. You wanna tell me exactly what it was you heard?" Buck didn't try to hide his anger. "And then maybe you can tell me what your problem is."

"I don't have a problem." JD wouldn't meet Buck's eyes, and he turned away, intending to go back inside.

"Sure seemed like you had a problem at the restaurant." Buck followed him. "You tell me what you heard, where you heard it, and who exactly you heard it from."

"So it's true," JD said. "It really happened. Vin let -" The sentence cut off as Buck grabbed his arm roughly and spun JD to face him.

"I better never catch you using the word 'let' again JD. You hear me? Wasn't any 'let' about it. Broken ribs and a fractured spine sound like 'let' to you?" But JD pulled out of his grip.

"I don't know what it sounds like," he answered honestly. "All I know is Vin never seemed the kind of guy who'd let -" he stumbled over that word, trying to express his thought without using it. "I mean - you'd just think - Casey said Nettie always told her it'd be better to let 'em kill you rather than -" As he said this, JD could see the anger building in Buck's eyes.

"You told Casey?" Buck all but shouted. "First Ezra - then Casey? Dammit JD - why don't you just take a page out in the school newspaper. You don't go telling things like that behind a man's back."

"What's it to you anyway Buck?" JD demanded. "Of anybody I'd think you'd have the biggest problem with this..."

"Me?" Buck was surprised. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know Buck - you've always been such a ladies man. You'd think -" and JD broke off again as a violent look settled on Buck's face. He leaned in close to JD as though he intended to snarl something, but instead he shoved JD away and stomped back to his truck. He drove away without another word or glance back.

*/*/*/*

It was late, but lights were on in Chris' house so Buck pulled in the driveway and headed for the front door. He'd only made it halfway up the sidewalk when the porch light flicked on and Chris came outside.

"Buck - what's going on?" He sounded worried.

"Where's Vin?"

The question didn't ease Larabee's worry at all.

"Upstairs, sleeping. Went to bed a little while ago. Why?"

Buck glanced up. The window to the guest room was on the other side of the house, still he didn't want to take the chance of being overheard. "We need to take a walk Chris. Got something to tell you, and it ain't pleasant..."

to be continued