Esme POV

The house was eerily quiet with only the sounds of two weak heartbeats to break up the static nothingness. The family was out in the clearing again, "warming up" as Emmett had put it, but from what I could hear they were simply encouraging deforestation. A small smile played on my lips as I pulled a pot from the cabinet. Even Edward, who had very much not wanted to leave Bella's side, had eventually caved to Emmett's pleas for a match, both of them hoping to gain the upper hand eventually. My family was always an eager one, jumping at any chance to accept a challenge. And Bella Swan was definitely a challenge, perhaps the greatest challenge any of my family have ever faced, including life as a vampire itself.

Unlike the majority of my family I had taken to vampirism easily. I woke to find the man I had been dreaming of holding my hand, his voice already a familiar melody to my ears. He had spoken to me all through my transformation and, upon awakening, I could see fear of rejection swimming in his loving eyes. Silly man, how could I reject him? And so, with love in my unbeating heart, I went on easily. The only qualms I ever had with being a vampire came from seeing my children struggle with it. Rosalie had rejected us immediately, wanting death so much more than the life of a monster. Her dream of children should have been taken by death's cold grip, not by Carlisle's venom. She only began accepting us as a family when she found Emmett.

My eyes flickered away from the vegetables I was dicing to the woman who had caused that. Even after sleeping for nearly two hours, she still looked exhausted and pale. While she had been sleeping, she looked as if she were regaining some life in her, but it seemed that as soon as Edward left the house (five minutes before she woke up) she began to pale again, deteriorating before my eyes. She was looking worse each time we saw her, her hair losing its sheen, her eyes permanently etched with dark circles. They darted around anxiously, fluttering from gold to black quickly in a loop. Charlie sat silent next to her, reading the newspaper, though his own gaze would go to her periodically.

I had the urge to ask her if she was more than exhausted, but physically ill. I turned back to my preparation. There was no use asking Bella a direct question, she would only answer with cryptic riddles.

I had always worried about Edward, afraid that he had been changed at too young an age in too conflicted a time in life. He was a child who was more interested in proving his manhood in the throes of war rather than in the passion of true love. In his time, he had had no interest in settling down or starting a family. His dreams consisted of patriotism and fighting in international affairs that he could never have fully understood. When Carlisle explained this to me, I was struck with horror. Edward was seemingly frozen in a state of apathy toward romantic love. And as the years and countless advances passed, I began to lose hope for my eldest son's happiness.

My eyes flickered again. Bella now had her head laying on her folded arms, muttering to herself, "Shut up. Shut up." Her fingers looked to be gripping her hair painfully hard. Charlie sighed quietly next to her, flipping the page of the newspaper, though his eyes conveyed the worry he truly felt for her.

With Bella's presence, Edward has turned completely around. For the first time in my time with him, he seemed unsure, confused, and only a little more human. He was frustrated as she teased him, and yet so deep that he would stand her constant jests just to spend time with her. She wasn't my first choice, her tendency toward avid cruelty was too much for me. Yet, I had promised him I would support him in whatever he did. And Carlisle trusts her, even as he still did not fully understand someone who held so many secrets.

There was curiosity toward her, especially as I thought of how she may have influenced me. Jokingly one night, I had told Carlisle that perhaps she had pushed me out of the tree that time so long ago. He had humored me with a chuckle and a kiss, but I knew he was considering it.

She sighed weakly behind me as I tossed the piles of peppers and onions into the soup stock. Since she seemed to be ill, I had taken to making her plenty of soup everyday-enjoying the feeling of mothering someone in the traditional fashion. Kindness was extended to her, though it was not often reciprocated.

The tension in the air suddenly shifted, tightened with the weight of a conversation that has yet to be had. I looked at her over my shoulder, her blurring eyes staring right back. Without looking away, I quickly turned the stock to a simmer and placed a lid over it, before settling in the seat across from her.

"You didn't push me out of the tree, right?" I asked carefully. A small smile twitched on her cracked lips.

"No," she cleared her throat once. She sounded so hoarse from sleep. "You were spirited as a child. If not the tree then something else would have landed you in the ER." Charlie rose from his seat and poured her a hot cup of fresh tea behind me. The raspiness of her voice was getting worse, causing certain words to cut in and out.

"So if not the tree…" I pressed as she lifted the steaming cup to her lips. She didn't answer, her eyes swirling like a slot machine, her lips pale and quivering despite the hot liquid. In her silence the sounds around me became amplified. The slow bubble of the soup on the stove, the heartbeats of the two in front of me, the sounds of her swallowing the tea, my family rough housing outside. The anticipation of her answer somehow made these ordinary occurrences chaotic, a dissonant symphony banging against my ear drums. Over the cacophony of simple and familiar chaos, I almost did not hear her quiet words.

My heart pierced with pain, as if it were being impaled with a hot poker. Agony filled my veins as I clutched onto the bar top. A weaker being would have collapsed...and I was struggling to be strong.

"Your son loved you very much."

Before I could fall apart further, Carlisle was at my side, his arm sliding perfectly around my waist, holding me up. "Esme," his voice was pained and careful. I wasn't even aware that he had been in the house. "I felt you needed me," he clarified. He took my place across from Bella, gently folding me into his lap protectively. "Tread carefully, Bella." he muttered gently, but with a threat clear in the undertone. Carlisle was thankful of Bella, but would never tolerate my as always. I nestled myself against him, using his presence to pull me out of the agony that threatened to overtake.

My baby. My light and reason in the dark. My son.

For a moment, Bella's eyes settled on black before she grimaced and restarted the slot machine. "When Carlisle decided to move to Ashland, I was ecstatic. I knew that the moment he crossed the town line, your fates would be intertwined and you would meet again. A real fairy tale." A pale hand replenished her cup of tea. I had not even noticed my vampire children returning as well. Immediately a spike of guilt entered my burning heart. Here I was falling apart over a child long gone, when I clearly had other children to attend to. The guilt went away quickly, replaced by a wave of adoration and love sent by Jasper.

"I visited you immediately. We had been away for so long… I had no idea where your life had lead, but I was excited to say the least."

"Why?" someone asked. She gave a faint smile that looked nearly bashful, her eyes settling on a dark golden color.

"Two reasons: first, the idea of true mates finding each other is always a beautiful thing. I may be a demon, but I can appreciate that." Carlisle pressed a kiss into my hair, his arms tightening around me. "Second, Esme's soul was one of the purest I had ever seen. Pure souls are hard to come by… but I'm like a moth to a flame when I find them." I felt like I would have blushed under her rare and significant compliment, but the agony in my heart made it difficult to truly process. Yet, I could imagine the many questions that Carlisle and Edward could come up with about her small confession.

"You were asleep when I visited you." She continued softly, her eyes closing in remembrance. "So small, frail… something to be expected from a woman who just had a baby all on her own." Painful contractions coming and coming, lengthening in time and increasing in pressure. I cried out as another stabbing reminder of my labor hit. With no neighbors, no one could hear me. With fear smothering me I knew that my child, my reason for living, would have to arrive here. "You did well. No medical experience behind you, and you managed to bring both your son and yourself through the labor alive." She paused, pressing her thin lips together in thought, her eyes remaining closed.

Another serene and faint smile spread. "He was awake, quietly appraising his new surroundings, not even 24 hours old." He should be crying more. Babies cried basically nonstop as newborns… he was so quiet. So silent… Perhaps, just perhaps maybe I had become lucky for the first time in my adult life. An easy baby that allowed me to rest when I so needed to. "He knew I was there. He welcomed me."

"He welcomed you?" someone else asked, the room impossibly even more tense. She sighed tiredly, opening her eyes.

"It's like a dream. The moment you wake up, you can remember every bit of it… but it immediately starts to fade until, after only minutes, it's lost completely. When we are born, we have all of the knowledge of the universe, but it is lost before we have developed speech." she explained, stunning the room. His blue eyes were so wide, but looked around the world with familiarity rather than wonder. An old soul in a small pink body. "He knew what I was, knew why I was there... his tiny soul reached out to me…" She closed her eyes again, rubbing her temples.

"I went to his bassinet, picked him up when he stretched his little arms out to me. He was gorgeous, Esme." Awe colored her quiet voice, but it was clear that sadness was also there. He looked nothing like his father and for that, I praised. He looked more like my father: bright blue eyes, a button nose that was slightly upturned, ears that poked out just a little bit. Perfection. "He knew how to communicate with me… it's too difficult for me to explain at the moment, but imagine it almost like a combination of Edward and Jasper's gifts."

"He immediately expressed to me how much he loved you, Esme. He knew that he had been born to a very special person. He didn't need to tell me that, I knew it. I wanted to save you from the devastation that would come from his death… I tried to heal him, tried to save him for you...even though it would have meant never being with Carlisle." My mate stiffened for a moment, another pain ripped through me at the thought of never finding Carlisle again. Again, the guilt returned. Had I been given the choice… would I have chosen Carlisle-a man that I had only met once in my youth-over my child?

"I tried… but he wanted what was best for you. Your son wanted you to find your happiness, Esme. He knew that you had tried so hard, been so kind to everyone, and yet you were still incomplete. He loved you so much...he wouldn't let me save him." I couldn't stop the sob that broke through into Carlisle's chest. It was hard to believe her words. It didn't seem fair for my child, only a day old, to make sacrifices on my account. My poor baby came into the world and immediately placed the responsibility of my happiness on his small shoulders. Carlisle's stone arms held me together as Bella paused before proceeding, somehow knowing that though my heart was breaking for my lost son, I was still listening.

"We both knew what would happen when he died… He made me promise that I would make sure Carlisle found you, that you would be happy." I was. Did he know that I was happy? Did he know that I loved him, even before I knew all of this? "So...when they found you at the base of the cliff, I will admit that I drained some more of your energy, enough to slow your heart enough to where they did not believe they could save you. Carlisle could still hear it though and stole you away…"

"You are everything," he whispered to me, another sob ripping through me. "Thank you, Bella." he politely thanked her before cradling me in his arms and rushing me upstairs, away from the worrying and watching eyes of my family. Before I knew it Carlisle had me curled in the middle of our bed, holding and whispering sweet soothing nothings into my ear as I sobbed. I sobbed for my child, so sweet and perfect, but even more so than I would have ever believed. I sobbed for the life he could have had, but gave up for me. I sobbed for Carlisle who, knowing him, would now harbor the guilt of my child's death on his shoulders. And finally...unexpectedly, I sobbed for Bella who had to sit by and watch while a baby and his mother died for the sake of love.

A/N: This was hard to write... excuse me while I go cuddle my own baby. :(