Disclaimer: I own nothing. Disney's.
Warnings: Alcohol and violence, i.e., Anna gets drunk and stupid.
Anna yanked open the fridge under the bar and pulled out the first six-pack she got her hands on. Fjellvann in cans. Well, she wasn't going to be picky. She jerked a can from its plastic ring and popped it open. Half of it was gone before she hit the front door.
She stopped and stared at the garage door as she turned toward the perimeter path. Maybe she should just get on the bike and take off, ride until her gas, money, or sanity was completely gone. It was a toss-up as to which would run out first – her money or her sanity.
Or…she could ride back into the city by herself. Find this NP, this Kristoff Borgman or Bjorgman, whatever the hell Elsa said his name was. Find him and turn Elsa in. She could claim ignorance. She hadn't done anything wrong. Well, she had, but she could explain it away as an overwhelming desire not to get killed. Being with Elsa had been one near-death experience after another.
Turning her in should be an easy decision.
Except it wasn't.
Anna drained the beer and tossed the can into the yard. Let the self-righteous environmental crusader come out and clean up her own fucking yard. The thought was petty, and she knew it, but she left the can where it lay and tromped off along the path.
Another beer was gone by the time she reached the little pond, the can tossed alongside the path. Anna flopped down in the snow on the bank and popped open another. She would drink until her brain shut down or she came up with a brilliant plan. The problem with that was that planning had never really been something she did.
Flying by the seat of her pants? That she could do. Thinking past tomorrow? Not so much.
She looked up at the mountain behind her. In the light of the rising moon, she could make out a little promontory. You can probably see all the way to Arendelle City from there.
Seized by a sudden urge to check it out, Anna planted the half-finished can in the snow and started running up the mountain. Her legs pumped hard, snow crunching under every footstep, and breath rolling out in a fog in front of her. Vaguely, she knew it was a dumb idea – it was dark, she was off the path, and running through shin-deep snow with no idea what was underneath. She could hit a rock or stump, maybe fall into a crevasse. But she didn't stop.
She reached the promontory and clambered onto the jutting rock, sweat-soaked in spite of the chill, her chest heaving with exertion. Sure enough, she could make out the lights of Arendelle City in the distance. She stretched out on her back and stared up at the sky. The stars would be so much more visible up here than they were in the city. But was it a view worth giving up the life she had?
And what, exactly, would you be giving up?
She had a job that she liked, but didn't love, one that paid her bills, but kept her out at all kinds of weird hours, and sometimes taught her things about her fellow man that she'd rather not know. She was mostly estranged from what little family she had left. Her best friends were a giant dog and a thirteen-year-old oddball genius. She couldn't even keep a boyfriend. What the hell had happened to her?
Goddamn Elsa.
Anna jumped off the rock and tried to run back to the pond. But the slope was too steep, and the run turned into a half-slide, half-roll down the mountainside. She crashed onto her back at the edge of the pond, the ice cracking under her. Glacial water seeped into her clothes.
Fuck!
Anna lurched to her feet, shivering, aware for the first time since she left the house that she wasn't wearing a coat. Stupid. She grabbed up the open beer can and chugged what was left, then dropped the empty at the water's edge. Snatching up the rest of the six-pack, she ran back down the path toward the house as fast as her legs would carry her.
She climbed the front steps on wobbly legs, warmed by the effort and breathing heavily. She plopped down on her ass on the porch and stared out at the blinking lights of the towns below. Slurped down another beer and tossed the can into the yard. Then she threw open the front door and slogged to the great room, taking petulant satisfaction at the dirty trail left by her slush-soaked sneakers and wet clothing. She made a beeline for the bar. The beer had her buzzing, but Anna wanted to get drunk.
She tossed the remaining beer cans into the bar's sink and opened the liquor cabinet. Brennevin. Nice. She snatched the bottle out. Not bothering with a glass, she unscrewed the top and put the bottle to her lips. The liquor burned down her throat, settling pleasantly in her stomach like a warm ember.
She carried the bottle to the solarium, where she stripped down to her underwear and dove into the pool. The water was warm, and her chills quickly disappeared. Anna glided along the bottom, then pushed off hard and did a dolphin dive into an awkward handstand, legs kicking wildly. She toppled over, blowing bubbles out of her nose and mouth, and then floated on her back and squinted through the solarium's roof at the moonlit sky.
It's funny, she thought, a few drinks and suddenly I feel like I can see the end of my life. At least figuratively. Maybe literally too, if she wasn't careful. Was this what it was like to predict the future?
She drifted over to the side of the pool and downed several big swallows of Brennevin. It no longer burned in her throat, which was probably not a good sign, but Anna didn't care. Untwisting her braids, she ducked under to push her hair back from her face. Then she leaned against the edge of the pool, thinking about her messed-up life and the woman who'd done it to her.
When, exactly, had Elsa made her decision not to go back? Tonight, when she figured out that Agdar Erikksen was not the one trying to kill her? Or had she made it much sooner, maybe the very night she and Anna met?
Anna started to wonder if she'd been played.
Shadowed movements above the solarium caught her eye, and she realized that she could see Elsa's bedroom window, light filtering through the window treatments.
Anna stiffened when Elsa came into view. The window coverings weren't completely opaque, and Anna's mouth went dry as Elsa began to undress. Her sweater came off first, then her pants. She disappeared in and out of the window frame a couple of times, wearing just a camisole, then that came off as well, and Anna let out a little moan. The view wasn't perfectly clear through the gauzy curtains, but she could now see things that the towel from this morning had only hinted at.
Elsa's body was as perfect as she'd imagined.
Then a nightgown fell into place, and the light went out. The show was over. Anna took another slug from the Brennevin bottle.
She leaned her head back against the edge of the pool and closed her eyes. The heat now pulsing low in her belly had nothing to do with the liquor. Had Elsa known she was down here? Had she done it on purpose? Was the little skin display recompense for ruining Anna's life? Surely she had to know the kind of effect that she had. Anna's thoughts drifted back to the afternoon at the range – Elsa's warmth, the fresh, almost wintry scent that seemed to surround her, the way her belly had quivered under Anna's hand…
How would the rest of that body respond to her touch?
Shit. Another inch disappeared from the bottle, and Anna opened her eyes to look up at the now-darkened window. Was Elsa asleep? Really? How could she be asleep after all this?
Anna was suddenly and irrationally pissed. She'd held up her end of the bargain, had gotten Elsa to safety on the promise that Elsa would return to the NPs and make sure Anna was clear. In return, Elsa had taken her life, and fallen into a peaceful sleep? No way. No one could fuck up her life and then go to sleep like it had been a normal fucking day!
Are you pissed because she fucked up your life, or because you're starting to realize that the one you have isn't all that great?
Anna squashed that thought savagely. Elsa owed her an explanation and she was going to get one. She hauled herself out of the pool, staggering a bit, and peered owlishly at the Brennevin bottle. It was more than half empty. Huh. Anna didn't remember drinking that much, but it didn't matter. She glanced at her clothes, which were lying in a cold, wet heap on one of the lounge chairs. Fuck it, I won't need those. She took a few more pulls at the bottle, her pulse spiking with each swallow, and then put it aside and stalked into the house.
She took the curved staircase two steps at a time, wondering if she would have to pick the lock on Elsa's door. No, she decided, if it was locked, she would just kick it in. But the door was unlocked, and Anna slipped into the room. She paused for a second, letting her eyes adjust to the dimness. The moonlight silhouetted the bed and the sleeping woman in it. Anna strode over and stood next to it, swaying slightly, her mouth desert-dry as she eyed the way the sheets draped over the slim curves of Elsa's body.
Elsa must have sensed her, for suddenly she stared up at her, blue eyes wide and questioning. Her gaze flicked up and down, taking in Anna standing there in just her sports bra and panties, dripping all over the carpet. "Anna?"
Anna's arm shot out and yanked the covers back. Elsa started to sit up, but Anna climbed onto the bed and straddled her hips, forcing her to fall back against the pillow. She raked her eyes over Elsa's breasts, which were becoming more visible as water trickled from Anna's hair and body to plaster her thin nightgown to her skin. Anna's pulse jackrabbited, blood rushing through her veins and pounding in her ears, and she wanted nothing more at that moment than to touch –
Then Elsa was holding her forearms, and her anger came rushing back, until she was almost shaking with it. She grabbed Elsa's wrists and pinned them to the mattress by the sides of her head. "How can you sleep?" she demanded, leaning over the other woman, her wet hair falling forward to curtain around them both. "Why are you doing this to me? Why? I trusted you!"
Her fingers clenched hard around slender wrists, and Elsa's body tensed beneath her. The other woman's nose wrinkled as Anna's alcohol-laden breath washed across her face, and her eyes got impossibly round. Anna went cold. Was that fear she saw in those clear blue eyes? Was Elsa afraid of her?
She shivered violently. Suddenly, she wanted Elsa to smell the fumes of the liquor, the stink of sweat and chlorine. Her fingers tightened around Elsa's wrists. Elsa's breathing was harsh and fast, and Anna leaned closer, wanting her to think that it was the alcohol that was driving all this, not her. Anna would never…
But yet she was.
Oh my God, what am I doing?
Shocked realization – and then shame - punched through her alcohol-induced haze, slapping her back to coherence. She let go of Elsa and sat back, mortified. She'd burst in on a sleeping woman who had already been through hell, and assaulted her in her bed like some sort of crazed animal. Anna shuddered. She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in her hands.
Cool fingers closed around her forearms and pried her hands away from her face. Anna kept her eyes closed, tears burning behind her lids. They escaped and fell to her cheeks, hot and wet, and now homeless, just like her. Elsa shifted beneath her. Hopefully, the other woman would shove her off the bed. She wanted Elsa to punch her. No, she wanted Elsa to cold-cock her.
Instead, a gentle hand wiped away the tears.
Anna finally opened her eyes. Elsa's face was blurry through her tears, but she could still see the aching sadness in those crystal blue eyes, and her chest clenched painfully. Wetness coated the other woman's cheeks, but whether from her own tears or from Anna's dripping hair, she didn't know. The tension in Elsa's body, the cool softness of the hand that still rested on Anna's cheek – it all combined to batter down her defenses, and Anna thought her heart might break.
She started to feel sick, her stomach lurching, her hands trembling. With a strangled cry, she rolled off Elsa and staggered into the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet, falling to her knees beside it as the Brennevin, the beer and dinner all made a reappearance. It came back up much faster and much more unpleasantly than it had gone down. Anna pressed her forehead against the porcelain, vaguely aware of a pair of hands gathering her hair back before she retched again and passed out on the cold tile floor.
The stroke of a cool washcloth against her neck and forehead brought her around. Her back rested against something warm and soft, and she realized that Elsa was on the bathroom floor behind her, cradling her in her arms. She lay between the other woman's knees, and when she turned her head, her nose burrowed into the warmth of Elsa's chest. Anna breathed deeply, those wintry scents filling her nose.
"I've got you," Elsa murmured against her hair. The washcloth moved over her neck and face again, and gentle fingers combed through her hair. "How do you feel?"
Anna groaned, her tongue thick and dry. "Like I've been dragged up and down the mountain a dozen times." She was still nauseous, and really cold, shivering hard, her teeth chattering.
"Come on, let's get you to bed." Elsa helped her sit up and then stand, one arm firmly around her waist.
Anna saw her wet sports bra and panties on the floor beside the toilet, along with a towel. She now wore a long T-shirt. Elsa must have dried her off and changed her; in her state, she wouldn't have been capable. Some barely-functional part of her brain told her that she should be humiliated, but right now she was sick and cold and the room would not stop spinning.
Elsa pulled Anna's arm over her shoulder, and wrapped one of her own around Anna's waist, supporting her as they left the bathroom. Elsa got her to the bed and helped her climb in, pulling the sheets and blankets up and tucking them around her chin. Anna buried her face in the pillows and clutched the covers, fighting a roiling stomach and silently begging for the world to stop rotating.
Cool fingers ghosted across her forehead and along her cheek. "I'll sleep in another bedroom," Elsa said.
Anna kept her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to look at Elsa. Despite her chills, her body burned with shame. She heard Elsa move toward the door. Right as it creaked open, Anna croaked out, "I'm so sorry, Elsa."
Just before the door clicked shut, she heard Elsa's reply, so soft it was barely audible. "Believe it or not, Anna, you're not as sorry as I am."
A/N: Sometimes good people do not-so-good things. And they regret it later, and not just because of the hangover.