AN: This chapter is dedicated to stacprit for your support and trust in the writing process and zanyalf for appreciating the funny amid the drama! A special shout out to breakdown6 - an amazing and extremely talented beta!

Chapter 25 This chapter is rated Mature for language and a flashback that includes Quinn/Santana.

Santana is curled up in the fetal position on Quinn's hotel bed - her face swollen from crying, and breathing still plagued with staccato hiccups. Quinn is at the foot of the bed, drying her hair with one hand and pulling clothes out of her suitcase with the other. "I don't understand. You saw Rachel on the couch, got turned on and freaked out. That's all?"

"What do you mean, that's all?" Santana lowers her voice as if saying it aloud makes it worse. "I've never thought about... that part... of another woman."

"And somehow that part is worse than the other two?"

Santana nods.

Quinn doesn't understand the difference, but knows that now isn't the time to ask for clarification. She pulls on her underwear. "The bottom line is, when you saw her on the couch or at any time during this weekend, did you want to be with her instead of Brittany?"

Santana bolts upright. "HELL NO!"

"Did you want to do anything with her? Kissing? Massage? Holding hands?"

"No."

"Threesome?"

Santana scrunches her nose in disgust.

"Then what's the problem?" Quinn pulls on shorts and returns to her suitcase in search of a bra. "Britt looks at other women."

"But this isn't just any woman. I know her."

"How does knowing her make a difference? You look at my boobs all the time."

"Not ALL the time," Santana says indignantly.

Quinn quirks an eyebrow at her friend.

Santana shifts her gaze off her best friend's chest and falls back onto the bed. "Sorry, but can you blame me? Your boobs are huge now. They don't even look like Quinn boobs so it shouldn't count. Besides, this is the hobbit, man-hands. I'm not supposed to get turned on by a troll. That's just gross."

"Actually, it makes sense." Now fully dressed, Quinn lays beside Santana. "You had a thing for her in high school."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did," Quinn says firmly. "You never admitted it when you were sober but when you were drunk -"

"Never happened."

"Junior year, Rachel's house party. She sang, Don't You Want Me Baby and I distinctly remember your drunk ass yelling, 'I want you! I do!'"

Santana rolls away from Quinn in a huff. "I have no recollection of that."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen or that you weren't attracted to her. Fast forward to this weekend where you're an out lesbian in a relationship with someone who allows you the freedom to look at other women and your former crush shows up looking like a model. You can't blame yourself for responding like a horny teenage boy."

Santana asks, "So, you don't think it's cheating when I got turned on by Rachel's...berry?"

Quinn grabs Santana by the shoulder and pulls her to lay flat on the bed - wanting to see her friend's face. "Is that why you got so upset? You thought you cheated?"

Santana nods.

Quinn laughs. "Why? You passed by, she moved, you saw it and your body had a normal reaction. Getting excited by another woman is not cheating."

"Are you sure?"

Quinn nods. "You poor thing. I haven't seen you fall apart like that since...well, you know...and that wasn't cheating either."

Santana laughs at herself then smirks. "I'm not the only one who turned into a blithering idiot around Berry." She rolls onto her side to face her friend and teases, "Are you secretly a lesbian?"

Quinn rolls her eyes and shifts to get off the bed. "I don't believe in labels."

Santana holds her back. "Pansexual? Bisexual?"

Quinn slaps Santana's hands away. "What did I just say?"

It occurs to Santana that Quinn isn't denying her attraction to Rachel so she drops the teasing and asks with sincerity, "Do you want to do anything with Berry?"

Quinn hesitates to share her feelings and instead says, "Go nap or shower or make love to Brittany or whatever you need to do before dinner. I need to iron my dress."

Santana demands that they continue this discussion later and refuses to leave until Quinn promises. Satisfied, she walks out of the room, passes Rachel on the couch and laughs at herself. "I'm such an idiot." She pushes her bedroom door open and her heart skips with excitement when she hears her children laughing. She runs over to join Brittany at the table and crouches behind her trying to fit herself in the laptop camera view.

The twins are sitting on Mrs. Pierce's lap and she's trying to hold them still. Tony wiggles out of her grasp and leans forward so that his moms can only see his mouth as he yells, "We miss you!"

"I miss you, too!" Santana blows them a kiss and asks if they're having fun. Ella tells her about their trip to the zoo and Tony lists the animal signs they taught their grandparents. Santana kisses her wife's cheek and proudly exclaims, "They're geniuses, Britt!"

"Why did the gum cross the road?" Tony asks but doesn't wait for an answer. "It was stucked to the chicken's foot!"

Brittany laughs then asks, "Why did the turkey cross the road?"

"Why?" ask the twins.

"It was the chicken's day off."

The twins run off to tell the new joke and the girls chat briefly with Mrs. Pierce and promise to return home in time for dinner on Sunday. Brittany shuts the laptop and Santana pulls the chair back from the table and straddles her wife. "I want us to go on a date tonight."

Brittany loves the sounds of that but asks, "What about Quinn and Rachel?"

"What about them?" Santana runs her hands up Brittany's arms, tangles them in blonde hair, leans in and whispers, "I would really like to take you to dinner. Alone."

"But...then they'll be alone too...like on a date." Brittany lifts Santana off her lap and heads to the bathroom, pulling her clothes off along the way. Santana frowns at being ignored but follows and waits for Brittany to explain. Brittany climbs into the shower. "I don't want to complicate things for Quinn. She was just starting to work on her relationship with Puck and then this happens."

"Nothing has happened yet and why are you worrying so much about Q this weekend? I thought you said we were supposed to be concerned?" Santana teases, joining her wife in the shower. "What happened to trusting in the plan?"

"I'm not worried. I'm..."

"Worried."

Brittany turns the water on and screeches when she's hit with a cold torrent from above. She's just about to scold her wife for always forgetting to turn the valve and return the flow to the lower faucet when Santana points to show there is no faucet in this hotel - just the shower. Brittany smiles sheepishly then returns to their previous conversation. "You're right, I'm worried."

As the water heats up, Santana moves closer to her wife so they can both enjoy the warmth. She hugs Brittany from behind and asks her why she's been so anti-Rachel. Brittany says she doesn't have an explanation for her behavior other then feeling insecure. "I was a little insecure but I got over it. I know you would never do anything with her or anyone else." Brittany turns to face her wife, wrapping her arms around the shorter girls neck. "You love me and only me."

"Damn right." Santana says confidently. It's a good thing I freaked out and dealt with all my confusing feelings before this conversation happened. Otherwise I would've broken down right now and that would have been a mess! "Why did you ask Quinn if they had sex?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"It just seems odd that you asked about sex. Why not ask if they made out?" Santana's eyes go wide. "Unless she told you she wanted to sleep with Berry?"

"No."

Santana frowns. "Did you really think Q would have an affair?"

An affair? Those simple words trigger a memory. It can...put a strain...on even the strongest of marriages. "Shit," Brittany mutters. Her mother's tone and the implication behind it had taken root in her mind and subconsciously she had come to view Rachel as a threat to Quinn's and maybe even her own marriage. She explains Mrs. Pierce's concern about house guests to Santana and drops the bomb that one of her parents had an affair.

"Shit," Santana replies in shock. "Which one of them? With who?"

"I don't know details. My dad interrupted us and then we left to come here. I told her we would talk later."

"Damn. I always thought your parents were so...perfect."

"Babe, no one is perfect."

Giddy with excitement, Brittany and Santana are getting ready for their date. Santana grabs Brittany while they are at the closet and kisses her sweetly. "I'm glad you changed your mind."

Brittany smiles and heads to the bathroom. "Did you tell Quinn?"

"Oops." Santana yells, "Q! Come 'ere a minute!"

Quinn swings into the room with one hand on the door frame. "You bellowed?"

"First of all, I do not bellow." Santana slips into a red, figure hugging cocktail dress. Quinn's eyes sparkle with approval as the dress hugs every curve. Santana smirks, "You like?"

Quinn blushes.

"Secondly, I'd like to take my gorgeous wife out to dinner alone tonight and we would like it to be Berry free. Unless it's a chocolate dipped strawberry that I'm feeding her across the table."

Quinn smiles proudly, "Okay."

Santana drops the sassy facade and hugs her best friend tight - silently thanking her for putting up with the earlier ridiculous meltdown. "Oh, and can tomorrow just be the three of us?" Santana feels Quinn break into a smile against her cheek and nod. "Thanks. You wanna meet up for dessert?"

"I'm not sure how late Rachel is planning to stay out." Quinn explains, "She's staying with her dads tonight and that's an hour away."

"She's not sleeping here?" Brittany bounces out of the bathoom towards her friends. "Let's meet back here by midnight and have wine, snacks, girl talk...FUN!"

Quinn and Santana both say, "YES!"

Quinn is sitting alone on the balcony in her pajamas nursing a glass of cheap, generic, hotel mini fridge wine. "This is disgusting," she says aloud to herself but takes another sip and continues processing her thoughts. "I'm glad Santana decided to focus on Britt tonight. That was a good call and I enjoyed being alone with Rachel." Quinn had enjoyed her dinner with the brunette but what she really liked was the ridiculous amount of cleavage that Rachel had been flashing. "Her breasts are spectacular now." Quinn sips her wine. "And her lips..."

"I'm not the only one who turned into a blithering idiot around Berry...Are you secretly a lesbian? Pansexual? Bisexual?...Do you want to do anything with Berry?"

Quinn wonders about labels and attraction. "I'm attracted to women but no more than I am to men." The image of Rachel's luscious lips play in her mind and she unconsciously licks her own. "If she had kissed me...would I have kissed her back?" Quinn nods to herself.

"Would I have had sex with her? She closes her eyes and tries to picture Rachel naked. She leans forward and tilts her head to the right and then the left as though this will somehow help her see the imaginary woman better. "I guess that part is different than the other two. I don't think I would touch that...or would I?"

Quinn opens her eyes and sighs heavily. Nothing has become clear to her. No answers jumped out. No label attached itself to her identity. "Now what? There must be a way to determine if I want to sleep with a woman."

There was one woman that Quinn had already slept with but that night wasn't exactly something she could base any decisions on. Right? There were too many extenuating circumstances and mixed emotions, but if she could remember what it was like and how she felt...maybe it could help her figure things out.

/

Quinn opens her front door. Santana's face is streaked with tears, her eyes puffy and swollen. "Hey S, what's - "

Santana ignores the greeting, brushes past Quinn and runs to her friend's bedroom.

"- wrong." Quinn shuts the door, goes to the kitchen and throws some things into a bag - water, peanut butter, chocolate frosting, crackers, tequila and a shot glass. On her way up to her room she grabs the motrin and box of Kleenex from the bathroom. Outside her bedroom door, she takes a deep breath, readying herself to deal with the worst. "Let's do this." She pushes the door open and Santana immediately starts yelling.

"I'm such a fucking idiot! What was I thinking? Why did she convince me to go talk to Miss Holliday about my feelings? With feelings it's better? Fuck feelings!"

Quinn puts everything on her desk and ducks as a book flies past her head. "Please calm down."

"I finally give her what she wants and she chooses that dorky ass, sweater wearing, four eyed cripple! How can this be happening? He doesn't know her like I do. He can't possibly make her feel the way I can! Does his limp dick even work? If it doesn't...NO! That means he's going to be with her the same way that I...NO! NO! NO! If he could give her something that I couldn't then maybe, MAYBE, I could understand but is he paralyzed from the waist down?"

"I don't know." Quinn hands Santana the water bottle. "Drink this."

"I don't understand! How can she choose a stupid boy?"

Quinn jumps at the thud of the water bottle hitting the wall. "Stop throwing things."

A guttural, anguished cry boils up from Santana's toes and explodes out of her mouth. She collapses against the bedroom door and sobs. "I'm an idiot. I should've seen this coming. Of course she wouldn't want me. I don't know what I was thinking." Quinn joins her friend on the floor and opens her mouth but Santana cuts her off. "Don't Q. Just...don't. I'm not delusional. She deserves better than me. Someone as special and kind...and amazing as she is."

"You are those things."

"Stop it!" Santana jumps up. "You don't have a right to say that! YOU LEFT! You didn't even tell me you were moving! We showed up at your house to go swimming and you were gone! B was heartbroken. She cried for weeks!"

Quinn is shocked by the outburst, especially over something that happened years ago, but then realizes that Santana is transferring that anger she feels toward Brittany onto her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye but I moved back and I'm here now. We've been friends for a long time. Before Cheerios and Glee we were Mickey and Donald. You are important to me and the truth is... the truth is I didn't say goodbye because it was too hard. I didn't want to face the thought of being away from you and not being able to see you and hang out and I was jealous that Britt got to have you all to herself. You were always my best friend, Santana. You are amazing and I wish you let more people see the real you."

Santana's anger deflates and she returns to sit beside Quinn. "If I'm so amazing, why didn't she choose me?" The anger over Brittany's rejection is replaced with pain and grief. "Why? Why doesn't she want me?" She hugs her knees to her chest and cries.

"I don't know." Quinn can't stop her own eyes welling with tears at the sight of her broken friend. She shifts to face Santana. "But I do know she made the biggest mistake of her life. I would choose you." She rubs Santana's legs soothingly. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known and I miss our friendship so much. I love you." She loves Santana the way a best friend should, with all her heart and soul. "What can I do to help you feel better?" Quinn's eyes flicker to the tequila she brought up and shakes that thought off. Santana is already sad and alcohol will just make it worse. She's about to suggest their favorite, peanut butter and chocolate, when Santana leans forward and presses their lips together.

Quinn freezes, her heart races and blood rushes through her body like a raging river. When she told Santana she was beautiful and that she loved her she meant as friends, best friends. It had never occurred to her that Santana would view her any other way. Her eyes wide, she watches Santana pull back, tears spilling down her face. She sees, more than hears, Santana say, "I'm sorry." Seeing her friend crushed and rejected is unacceptable - not when she can do something about it. Without thinking, she grabs Santana's face and crashes their lips together.

This time, Santana is stunned into immobility and doesn't respond at first but then pushes Quinn gently at the shoulders. "You don't have to do this."

Quinn considers what's about to happen. She isn't entirely sure what this is but she knows she wants Santana to feel loved. She remembers her sophomore year and how ugly, fat and unwanted she had felt. Puck was there for her and even though she ended up getting pregnant, the feeling of having someone want her was overwhelmingly reassuring. "Whatever you need...whatever I have...if it'll make you feel better, you can have it." She holds Santana's head firmly and watches as Santana's eyes search her own for signs of doubt or apprehension. Quinn nods to reassure her friend that she's okay with whatever is about to happen.

Santana rushes forward and kisses Quinn. The kiss is messy, needy and desperate, but still takes Quinn's breath away. Santana pushes the blonde to the carpeted floor, shifts herself between Quinn's spread thighs and grinds down.

Quinn's eyes roll back in her head and she's surprised at how quickly she's becoming wet and ready for more.

Santana slides her left hand under the back of Quinn's shirt - unclasping the bra with the flick of her wrist. She brushes the side of Quinn's breast and then pinches a hardened nipple. Quinn squeaks in pain and Santana's hand jolts back. "I'm sorry. I forgot they were tender after..."

Quinn squeezes her eyes shut - afraid to open them and see Santana looking at her with pity or disgust. Santana leans down and kisses Quinn gently. Her tongue dips into Quinn's mouth and it's nothing like the earlier kisses. It's slow, sensual and passionate. Quinn opens her eyes and is relieved to see Santana smiling with affection and understanding. Santana returns to Quinn's breast but this time she gently rubs a nipple against her open palm. "Oh god," Quinn moans.

Lifting Quinn's shirt, Santana cups her breast and massages as she nips and sucks on the painfully erect nipples. Quinn holds Santana's hair away from her face to watch the brunette's efforts to replace the pain with pleasure. As her body warms and reacts to the attention, Quinn realizes she had been craving the touch of another person - especially someone who knew her past and wanted her in spite of it.

Quinn dips her hand under Santana's sweatshirt, slides her fingers over smooth skin and marvels in the differences between Santana and Puck. When she pushes up against the weight of Santana's breast and feels the nipple stiffen against her palm, all comparisons fly out of Quinn's head. She squeezes gently, trying to imitate what Santana had done to her and is rewarded when Santana grunts and thrusts her hips down roughly. Quinn spreads her legs further and presses up, urging Santana to continue.

Kisses become rough and sloppy as both girls buck against each other, searching for friction and release. Santana places both her hands on the carpet on either side of Quinn's shoulders, her eyes closed in concentration. Quinn holds onto Santana's hips, pulling her down harder with each thrust bringing them that much closer to release. Santana shifts and their clothed bodies press harder into one another again and again.

Quinn's body quivers as her orgasm approaches but stops when she feels tears falling against her face. She opens her eyes and sees the struggle on Santana's face, the conflict within her, the sting of Brittany's rejection still running through her mind. Without thinking, she shoves her hand into Santana's pants. Santana's eyes shoot open in shock but soon plead with Quinn to continue. Quinn presses her fingers down and circles roughly, causing Santana to groan with relief.

Their hips continue to buck against each other, their goal of climax within reach. Santana's eyes connect with Quinn's briefly then falters. Before Santana can over think the situation or say anything, Quinn enters her and she's thrashing wildly against Quinn's hand, which in turn hits Quinn exactly where she needs it most. They thrust harder and Quinn can feel Santana's walls holding her fingers tight. She adjusts her hand slightly and presses deeper.

Santana finally lets go.

Quinn's orgasm follows and she's shocked by the intensity and waves of pleasure that ripple through her. Her own walls clench and unclench, as if searching for something to hold on to. She's filled with warmth and a sensation of utter and blissful peace.

And then...it's over.

Santana collapses onto her, her mouth open in a silent scream as sobs wrack through her tiny body so intensely that no sounds are made. Quinn pulls her hand out of Santana, wraps her arms around her best friend and hugs her close.

"Shhhhhh." Quinn hears Santana gasp for air and the silent sobs become loud wails. She squeezes tight, her own tears of relief and confusion spilling from her eyes.

Hours later, the two girls lay side by side on the bed, Santana's cheek resting at Quinn's heart.

"I told her I loved her and I begged her to say it back."

Quinn hadn't expected that. "You mean...you're in love with her?"

Santana nods.

"Oh." It was all Quinn could say in response. She hadn't taken into account that Santana's feelings for Brittany were actually love. She thought they just made out and had sex. Oh no. If she had known that,...she wouldn't have allowed herself to comfort Santana in this way. "We'll find a way for you to get her back." Quinn holds Santana and pulls her tight into her body, "You'll get your girl. I promise."

/

"Well, that didn't help." says Quinn.

Santana bursts through the hotel room door holding two wine bottles high in the air, "Who's ready to party?"

Brittany hops up and down and squeals, "I AM, I AM!"

"Q, get your ass over here!" Santana yells, "I wants to get my drink on!"

AN: Please review. :)