Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! or "The Outside" by Taylor Swift.
Title:
Outside Looking In
Summary:
Seeing the Guardians, I felt…left out. Why not me?
Rating:
K+
Main Character/Pairing:
Saaya, none
Genre:
Hurt/Friendship
Inspiration: Just
listening to the song. I mean, it kind of fits Saaya, if you think
about it.
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I couldn't place the feeling in my chest for a moment as I watched them, sitting together just beside the soccer field, laughing together as each made jokes. They seemed like something out of a teen magazine, showing today's newest fashions.
They looked so…beautiful there.
Though Kairi had switched schools and Kuukai had graduated to middle school, they still hung out after school like this, so comfortable with each other that teasing was allowed.
I thought about my friends; if they teased me or vice versa, it was usually with malicious intent. We wanted to make each other feel bad or to show who was the alpha girl.
Watching the Guardians, I realized that I was jealous. I wanted an easy friendship. I wanted people I could trust with anything. I wanted to be someone's confidant.
For once, I felt as if I were on the outside. I might know gossip and dirty secrets about everyone, but I had no true friends to share my own problems with. I might be beautiful and popular, but I had to claw my way to the top every day.
I wanted the easy beauty of Rima. The regality of Tadase. The kindness of Amu. The intelligence of Kairi. The ability to make jokes of Kuukai. The politeness of Nagihiko or his twin. The energy of Yaya.
But I would never have those things because I'd decided I wanted to be popular, not well-liked. I'd decided to be the top dog instead of having true friends. I was forever stuck in the void I had created for myself.
And that hurt more than I'd ever known.