It never truly hurts to ask the serious questions in life if you can be mature about them, and the answers that you receive. Laughing things off can work for a while but you can never progress that way. If you are mature enough to ask the question, be mature enough to know what answer you want and how important it is to you. Nothing can hurt you worse than not believing someone when they tell you how they feel.

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How often do you get to say I love you?

Can you count the ways that make it true?

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I knew they would walk away.

I was sitting there with Lip on a bench in the hall staring at them after breaking the news and waiting for them to finally just walk away. But they deliberated.

I looked to Lip sitting beside me, reached over and grabbed his hand. We sat in silence for a few minutes and he leaned his head on my shoulder. All I could really do now was stare at the wall ahead of me. Sterile powder blue with the fluorescent cream colored lights. The colors melted together until I couldn't take it, so I looked back at the couple.

"Do you want kids one day?" I asked.

His head came up off my shoulder and he looked at me with a laugh in his features, but he saw how serious a question it was as I continued to stare at the couple. Instead of laughing his face melted into thought.

"I want your answer, not just what you think I want to hear," I said. I wasn't even sure what I wanted if I was being honest. To have a tiny person that you created with someone else, half of each of you, was a huge thing. Colossal.

He paused for a long moment.

"I don't not want kids, but that's kind of a loaded question you know? I think me, and every other person on the planet, wants to be able to give their kids things that they didn't have."

"I get it, I want that to for any kids I have... and to preface this, I'm not pregnant. But, we can already give any kids, that either of us have, so much more than what we've had. We're too young, yeah. But I think I might want kids one day." He was nodding.

"Yeah, one day, I think I'd want them too. Poor bastards," he huffed with a laugh. I smiled.

"You would make a good dad, Philip Gallagher."

"You would make a good mom, Lydia Walsh."

We looked at each other for a long moment, and I smiled before looking back to the powder blue wall.

"So let's say," I said tilting my head. "By the time we're thirty, if neither of us are married to anybody, or have kids with anybody, we will get married and have those kids. That sound good?" Powder blue was my least favorite color but at that moment it was interesting and vibrant with my nerves.

He laughed with a wry smile at the same wall.

"Yeah," He said slowly. His tone warm and inviting. "That sounds good." He pulled my face to look at his. "That sounds really good."

I smiled at him, and toe curling was an odd phrase to use when your day has been this hectic and sad but that was how his kiss made me feel. When we pulled back he laid his forehead on mine and toyed with a stray black lock of my hair.

Suddenly there was a small attention grabbing cough from down the hall. Looking back I saw the couple standing there looking at us with red faces and tears in their eyes. Taking a deep breath I patted Lip's thigh and told him to stay there.

"Hey, I'm sorry about... all of this. I know it's a shock and not what you expected. No one is going to blame you for—"

"We're going to adopt him." The woman said firmly.

"What?" I asked. Her husband chimed in next.

"We want to adopt him. He isn't what we expected, no, but... he still needs a home. And we have one waiting for him." I couldn't help the tears in my eyes. "Besides, a lot of pregnancies turn out unexpectedly. He was meant for us."

"I don't know what to say besides thank you." Tears were falling and I reached over to hug both of them before they headed to the reception desk for the paper work.

Lip came up behind me and hugged me close.

"Wait!" I said as they were about to round the corner. "Just one thing. He's gonna know he was adopted, that's obvious, he's different... but here," I said reaching into my pocket. I had kept this with me for a long while waiting for her to give birth so I could give it to the couple.

"It's Karen, while she was pregnant. Its one of the only times I really saw her excited about him. I was adopted and didn't know, but I never got to see my real mother. I thought it would be something to help... if he ever asks."

They smiled sweetly at me, taking the photo gently and admiring the smiling girl with a round belly.

"Of course, thank you. We'll make sure he knows that she loved him."

I smiled a sad smile at them, they didn't know it was because I knew how wrong they were. The only people who really loved that boy like a parent was them. But they didn't need to know that.

—————*pb*—————

The hospital room was dark and cold when I walked in. Sheila was gently dosing in the chair next to the bed and I could see Karen staring at the ceiling.

"Hey," I said. She stayed quiet for a minute.

"They're gone aren't they?"

"No. They stayed. They want to keep him." She looked at me.

"At least somebody does."

"If you didn't want him why didn't you get rid of him when you found out you were pregnant?" I hated the thought, but I could see it's merit. She was almost seventeen, a year younger than Lip and I, and just a junior in high school. She didn't want or love him and thought of him as a parasite, she'd said so herself.

"He was Lip's."

"He was never Lip's baby. Not only does he have a distinct Asian look to him, Lip uses protection. You may have wanted him to be his. But you never wanted him. You want to control Lip, keep him to yourself, and have someone to destroy like you imagine your parents destroyed you."

She was quiet for a long time.

"You know what I like most about Lip?" I was quiet, I wanted to know what she thought she felt.

"It's not the sex, even though it is great. It's the way he makes me feel. Made me feel. He gave me attention, he worried about me, he let me do my own thing."

She was still staring at the ceiling.

"But that all changed when he started seeing you."

"He's known me for years."

"But he never really saw you. He cared about you but he couldn't see. He does now. Your hair, I tried to get it but mine kept coming back, I tried to shock him with piercings, tattoos... it shocked everyone but him, and you. I thought that maybe if he thought the baby was his he would come back. You did too, I could tell. But he was so sure it wasn't, and he was right."

I was quiet still, trying to chew over what she'd told me.

"You have everything that I don't," She said. "You have my boyfriend, you have my mom, you have the big family, you have life. I have a sterile room in in a hospital where my mom sleeps next to me only because the room is about as sterile as my house, except for the basement, except for me."

"You aren't dirty, Karen. Sex doesn't make you dirty. You're human, life happens, has happened, but it doesn't make you unclean."

"I want to be," she said. "Then I'll know why she doesn't love me.

"She does love you. Or she wouldn't be here, she would be sitting at home or pacing that kitchen while you laid here in that hospital bed alone. She's out of her comfort zone here, and she's here for you. Not me, not the Gallagher's... you. And you didn't even let her in the room. You're so busy trying to separate yourself from her when all you want is to be close to her. That baby boy that you just tossed away will get a better life. But every good thing you're given you push away, you build a wall, you discard it."

She stayed quiet.

"Figure out what you really want before you destroy yourself trying to get it."

She looked at me for a long moment before staring back up to the ceiling, effectively dismissing me.

I grabbed a notepad and pen from the nearby table and penned a note to Sheila letting her know I would be back in the morning, with clothes for her and Karen, in Kevin's truck. While walking out I paused at the door.

"Goodnight, Karen," I said.

And as I passed through the threshold, I heard her thin voice.

"Goodnight."

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Hey everyone! It's a little shorter than I wanted but I felt like this was a good image to leave off on.

I hope you're enjoying the story!!

Happy reading!

Drop4Lunar