Janey had written to Edith to ask for Thomas's financial records. She knew his funds were more than sufficient, but she didn't know exact amounts. He deserved to know, and she was glad he was finally taking an interest. He needed to take his life back and this was a good step. She wasn't sure how she felt about him wanting to provide for her, though. She didn't want him to think for only one moment that she was only out for his money, but if something were to happen to him... Well, the first thing that came to mind was that she'd rather be dead herself. Did she really love him so much that she couldn't live without him any more? Yes. As incredible as it sounded, she could no longer imagine her life without him. He had brought her something she did not even know had been missing. Joy. And it made her blossom. She could see the changes when she looked in the mirror. She would probably never consider herself beautiful, but there was something there now, a twinkling... and, if she lost him, that spark would dull forever. Which scared her.
Of course, she was moved by the fact that he offered to see her provided for... That she was important enough to him that he worried about what might happen to her after he had gone. But she didn't want to think of him dying – just the mere thought made her want to hold on to him tightly.
"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked, laughing. He was in the middle of fixing up his model, doing way better than she had. With the little precision things, she would help guide his hand, but mostly it seemed his hands knew exactly what to do. To someone that didn't know better, it was like he could see again.
"Nothing. I just love you." Her lips sought a bit of exposed skin above his collar.
He squeezed the hand she had wrapped around his waist. "Am I boring you? I've been working on this model for hours now, and all you can do is sit and watch, mostly. If you want to go do something else..."
"No, I love watching you work – it's amazing. And the precision you manage to work with... You are blowing my mind, my handsome man," she continued, kissing his cheek.
He blushed. She noticed he did so every time she complimented him on his looks. But it was the truth. He was the most handsome man she had ever met. She could only imagine what he had looked like before... Not that he would have looked at her twice, back then.
"Yes… yes. It's surprising me too. But the machine – it's like it's etched in my brain. I know it so well that, when I feel the parts, it's almost like I can actually see them and where they belong in the model."
"That's wonderful." If she could give this man his vision back, she would gladly lose her own. It was like magic, watching him work, seeing him piece this delicate machine back together. He had such skill, such a gift, that it was a shame he could not continue his work for lack of sight."Why did you start inventing?"
He fell quiet, and she saw a slight tremble in his hands.
Had she made a mistake? She hated seeing him pained like that. Demons of the past rearing their ugly heads. "If you don't want to talk about it..."
"It's ok... As kids, we weren't allowed to have toys. There was a toy room, but we weren't allowed to go in there."
Janey gasped in shock. Not that she had ever had any toys. Anything of value would be converted into booze as soon as her father found it. The only possession Janey had managed to hold onto through the years was a bedraggled picture book of fairy tales. It had been so stained that it was worthless and, anyway, try as he might, her father had never been able to pry it from her. In fact, she still had it. She imagined what it was like to have toys but not be allowed to touch them. She knew about the violence that had happened in his home, but this… "That's beyond cruel."
"Oh, our parents loved to find new ways to torture us, and each other. Mind games were just part of that. In fact, I can't remember a day in my childhood that I wasn't afraid. Not until they were both dead, anyway. And even that only lasted a week or so. After that, there was boarding school..."
"Thomas..." She clung to him, not knowing what to say for comfort.
"It's over. I know I'm safe now. But I started inventing because we didn't have any toys in the nursery. Just rubbish. My sister, she was more bold than I was. She used to sneak into that toy room and play with the toys, sometimes with me in tow. But my father could always tell – it was like he had rigged them so he could see when they had been moved. And then, when she finally got caught, he would thrash the life out of her. Which didn't stop her – she would go back the next day, even when I begged her not to... So I started inventing toys, so she would stay up there with me. To keep her safe."
To keep his sister safe... And now he was trying to keep her safe. That was Thomas, always loving and kind. That was why she loved him so very, very much.
"I'm alright, Janey..." he said patting her arm. "Allerdale Hall is a long way away."
The name was so familiar that she felt stunned. "Allerdale? Near Workington?"
"Yes. You know of it?"
"That's where I was born. Workington. We moved away after father... died." Now it was her turn to look pained. Every time she talked about it, her stomach would still lurch, even after all this time. "He worked in the mine... Your mine. How did I not realise this? You have a clay mine... my dad was a clay miner." It was incredible.
"You are from Workington?" The shock on his face mirrored her own. "I'm sorry."
"What for?" How could he have possibly known she was from Workington? She had never told him
"I can't help but wonder... My dad poisoned the lives of those who worked for him. Made them miserable. Probably drove most of them to drink as well. I wonder if your father might have been different if he never met mine."
"That's not your fault… And I doubt it would have mattered. Even sober, he was mean. He had a huge cruel streak… he loved laughing about the pain of others. Liked causing it too – if he could play what he called 'a trick' on someone, he would be ever so happy." She felt bitter just thinking about him, and a shiver went down her spine.
"Mine too. They could have been friends, by the sounds of it. If my dad actually had friends... All he had was people that feared him. The word was that, the day he died, there was a huge fest in the village pub. Of course, by the time of the funeral, everybody pretended they were so sorry, but you could see them smirking." Thomas let his head hang, but his fingers interlaced with hers and she gladly squeezed them.
"I remember a funeral... I remember you! And your sister. There were lots of black banners hung around the village... a black coach... and you both were wearing black too, though your sister had a bright red flower pinned to her chest."
"My mother's funeral," Thomas confirmed. "It was the first time she wore it, as defiance, because she had finally gotten rid of them. It would do her little good. The next week our uncle put her in a sanatorium."
"I must have been six or seven, and there was a procession through town. There was a carriage and behind it walked you. You looked like royalty. A dark prince... I was mesmerised. When you looked at me, I was sure you were there to take me away, and I tore myself loose from my mother to follow you as you turned the corner. She was ever so angry and came running after me." She couldn't believe it. That boy – that she had instantly fallen in love with – was now here. Was hers. The thought filled her with joy.
"I... I don't think I remember. Sorry... I don't remember much of that day. My sister and I were about to be split up. It was rather all a blur," he apologised.
"Don't be sorry. You probably didn't even look at me, but just in my direction." Suddenly, she remembered the eyes... blue, like the sky. One was duller now, while the other, the one above the scar, was black as the night. But they were still beautiful.
He scratched his head. "I wish I could remember you."
"Don't beat yourself up about it." She needed to change the subject... they had dwelt upon the past long enough. It was over, and here they were, together and happy. "Are you alright, working on your machine? If it's bringing back bad memories, it's fine if you stop."
"Yes. I'm actually enjoying it more than I thought. When I did it in the past... I was always doing it for someone else. My sister... our home... the workers, many of whom had died in mining accidents. I wanted that to stop. I never really enjoyed it, because there was such pressure on me then. But here, tinkering away... It's just a shame I can't see it."
"Oh Thomas." She kissed him gently.
He hugged her back. "My life now is the best it has ever been. And I would gladly lose my sight all over again, just to be here with you. My worst regret is not being able to see you."
"Well, you are not missing much there," she replied with a dry laugh.
"Janey... I know I can't see you. But I know you are a stunning beauty." And that made her blush from her cheeks to her toes.
Sparky She-Demon : Well they deserve happiness, so it is time they got some.
Fandomenforcer : I can honestly say I have never thought about that. They would probably get it so right, so they would not return to earth. But Lucille deserves a chance to be reborn in a good loving family.
Kaelmona: Glad you like it. Lucille was keeping him on a tight leesh to control him, but to me it was always clear he is bright and compassionate. And I am glad I get to write that part.
Zoe: I gotta say it is always a bit weird to write love scenes, but I am glad you like them. I can't give you any spoilers though, so you will have to keep reading
biddle29 : Glad you like it!
.52: Thank you so much!