Severus Snape was now a man in a relationship. And it didn't feel half as strange as he had feared it would. He was still nervous around her but so was she and that made it alright. And he didn't feel any of the revolting feelings he had always felt when he had watched other couples in public displaying their affection. It felt so natural to hold her hand when they went into town or for walks. He felt like he was floating on a cloud whenever she stole kisses from him while they were out and about and her parents did not seem to mind either. He never initiated any of these open signs of their feelings for each other. He still didn't feel confident enough. It was different when they were alone though. Sometimes she visited his cottage and then he'd pull her down on the couch next to him and they spent their time together in each other's arms snogging like teenagers. He felt confident then but he also felt that she didn't. She was hesitant and it took her a while to relax. But in the end she would and those were his very favourite afternoons.

Sophie was happy beyond anything she had ever known. This man had a power over her she couldn't comprehend. And to be close to him, to know that he would from now on always be there, caused such feelings of joy that she was sure her heart would burst whenever she looked at him. When they were out and about she felt like a bouncing ball, wanting to jump up and down all the time and she found it hard to reign herself in. She would take his hand so she could hold on to him and let his presence ground her. And every now and then she would lean over, or when they walked she would reach up, and kiss him. He seemed to like it. At first he had looked around, a slight embarrassment obvious in his body language, but after a while he didn't seem to care anymore. When they were alone it was quite different however. Then it was her who felt embarrassed by his actions. He did not hold back in letting her know that he wanted her and, even though she enjoyed his attention, to some degree it also scared her. She was very aware that she could not stop him if he ever decided to take a step she wasn't yet prepared to take. This left her feeling vulnerable and anxious, feelings she was not accustomed to. She knew she would need time to learn to trust him again. But sometimes, for example when she was lying in bed just before she would go to sleep, she wondered whether he would be patient enough to give her that time and she prayed that he would. She knew she loved him and right then she couldn't imagine ever loving anyone as much as him. In those moments though she also wondered how things would go on between them. She was steadily recovering and soon she would run out of money to pay the rent for the cottage. She had never meant to stay so long. The plan was to die here and leave her parents enough money to transfer her body back to Germany and pay for the funeral. Since it now seemed she would survive she needed to think about returning to Germany. Would he consider following her? Would he want to live with her? Would they get along sharing their lives when routine and everyday problems started to set in?

She knew that at some point she would have to discuss this with him but she was not looking forward to it. She had no idea whatsoever how he would react and that also bothered her.

Time passed quickly and soon it was early October. As the days were growing noticeably shorter, the winds had picked up and the rains had become more frequent. The storms would soon come and then they would have to spent a lot more time inside. She knew her father wouldn't like being shut up like this. He was very much the active type and would quickly become bored. He would start getting on her mother's nerves with his restlessness and that would result in arguments. Sophie hated it when her parents argued.

Severus knew nothing of these thoughts and enjoyed every minute they spent together. He was happy and did not want to think beyond the moment. It was strange enough to feel happy and he didn't think his mind could take many more new developments at the moment, let alone his heart. Sometimes when he lay awake at nights, he searched his feelings for Sophie and allowed them to rise like the tide inside him. But only to a certain point. Then he became scared and he shut them away again. He wasn't sure what he was scared of but the magnitude of the feelings inside him, how they seemed to take over his entire being and seemingly completely changed the person he thought he knew himself to be, made him uncomfortable and unwilling to dive deeper. And then there still was Lily of course. Was he cheating on her memory? Was he obliged to still love her, or had he paid off his debt to her and was free? Did he want to let go of her? He found no answers to these nightly musings. But in the daylight, when she was with him, he never wondered.

One afternoon on particularly dull day, Sophie grew so restless and bored that she put on her wellies and her waterproof hiking jacket to brave the winds and rain outside and walk up to Severus's cottage. He was in his potions lab but his wards alerted him to her approach. He quickly put a stasis charm on his bubbling cauldron and went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. When Sophie entered through the back doors that opened up to the gardens, he had two steaming mugs of tea ready for them on the counter but went into the living room without them. It was difficult to always remember she couldn't know about his powers and he would have a hard time explaining odd things to her.

"Hello Sam. Sorry to barge in on you like that. Am I disturbing anything?"

"No." He smiled as he bent down to kiss her Hello.

"Tea?"

"Uhm… yes please."

He frowned as he noticed her nervousness. How long would it take her to get to the point of her visit? He was sure there was something that was bothering her.

He returned into the living room with their teas and she didn't seem to notice how quickly he had returned. She clearly was very preoccupied. He would try and make it easier for her.

"So, what did you come here to tell me?"

"Huh?" She looked up guiltily from her mug.

"What makes you think I have something to tell you?"

His eyes lingered on her face for a moment before he turned to his tea with this arrogant and very superior little smile.

"Yes, ok. I… uhm… we need to talk."

He hated such sentences. Usually they never brought good tidings and he felt anxiety rise within him.

"What would you like to discuss?" He asked with a slight edge in his voice.

"Well, I am … I am doing much better now …"

She had spent a long time last night trying to think up the right words or come up with the right strategy but had failed miserably. So she had decided to just get it over with and hope the right words would come to her when she needed them. And she needed them now. Her eyes were searching the room as if she could see them in the fireplace, on the bookshelf or the ceiling.

"I… well, I think it is time I thought about how my live will go on from here...You know I have a job in Germany… and I have friends and family there…."

She wanted to leave? Now? It had been going so well, or at least he had thought that it had been going well, and she wanted to leave him?

"Are you saying you want to leave here?" He had said this a little more sharply then intended but he could feel his anger rising as well as the all too familiar feelings of disappointment and betrayal.

She looked at him uncertainly.

"No,... I mean…" she saw the anger in his eyes. Oh, this was all going horribly wrong. He probably thought she wanted to leave him. Right, she was not going to let this end in a fight. She needed to reassure him of her feelings. So retreat was no option, she had to openly confront his insecurity.

"Listen, Sam, I meant everything I said to you and I still feel the same way, if anything my feelings for you have become stronger."

"Is that so?" The anger had not disappeared. There was suspicion and disbelief written all over him.

"Yes, that is so. But you don't believe me, do you? You think… what do you think? That I was just here to have a little fun and that was that?"

"I do not fathom to understand the workings of the female mind. I stopped trying a long time ago."

Was that a hint? Had he once had someone else in his life that had hurt him? It would explain some of his behaviour.

"I do not want our relationship to end. And I mean that. That's why I'm here. I want to discuss with you how we can continue this, how we can find a way to make this work. I can't stay here. Surely you will see that?"

"Oh really? Why can't you? What's so important in Germany that you wouldn't leave it? I think if you did feel all the things you say you do, you wouldn't think twice about it."

Right, this was going all the wrong way.

"Sam, please, I don't mean to hurt you or anything. I want that we find a way to lead a life together. And that means discussing our options and our wishes for the future."

"I can't see why that means you have to leave!"

"I doesn't! Don't you understand? I came to talk! I want us to make a decision together because I do not find my situation is satisfactory at the moment. Would you rather I did not talk about things on my mind and problems that bother me? I thought that's what relationships are all about, at least that's what they are about for me. If you see it differently and all you want is some mindless doll that is there for you to do with as you please and not have a life of her own then I think I might be the wrong person for you."

She had talked herself into a fury. He looked at her in astonishment and with a new sense of admiration. She looked so beautiful with her slightly flushed face and her eyes flashing with anger. He did adore her. And she was right. He did want her to tell him what bothered her. But if he kept reacting like a spoiled child that had it's toy taken from it every time something uncomfortable came up, she would stop confiding in him and he would never know what was truly going in inside her. A sure way to lose her. He looked down at his hands that were still holding his mug.

"You are right of course. We need to talk about this. I … I just thought you liked it here. I thought you were happy here."

"I am, but my life is more than morning walks and afternoon teas. I would like to work again, I would like to see my friends again and introduce you to them. I would like you to see my … my life, my world in Germany."

"You want me to come?"

"Of course I do. I mean, you once said you have no family here. And, well I'm not sure, but if you have your own trade, couldn't you then work from anywhere?"

He thought about that. She wanted him with her? In Germany? She really did…

"I… yes, I suppose I could. Many of my ingredients I grow myself or I buy them by ow… I mean I order them. So yes, I guess I could."

"Would you like to? I mean, can you imagine living in Germany with me?" She looked at him hopefully. It really did seem to mean a lot to her. And he did want to be around her so desperately.

"I ...I indeed have nothing that keeps me here. Are you sure you want this though? It is a big step to ask me to leave everything here to go with you."

"I know… but it's all I want. I have been thinking about it a lot. And I found I cannot imagine a life without you anymore. So you see, you will have to come with me. There is no other way, really." She smiled at him sweetly and he felt his insides melt. What did it really matter to him where he put down his head as long as it was close to her?

They spent the rest of the day making plans and working out their future living arrangements. At the end of the evening Sophie went back to her cottage feeling elated and relieved. They had managed to work through this. She felt like they had taken a huge step in their relationship and she was looking forward to their life together in Germany.