Yami Tulip-Jin: Stupid hikari, stupid lawyers, why can't I just blast 'em to the Shadow Realm...
Chibi Red Eyes Black Dragon: Rawrrrr? Rawr rawr rawr, rawwwr? (Huh? What's wrong, Y-TJ?)
Yami TJ: Because I scared almost all the reviewing people away with my threatening dealie last chapter, my oh so lovable Hikari is making go to one of those 'unlearn your homocidal tendencies' programs. ...Wait, did you just call me 'Y-TJ'?
Chibi Red Eyes: Rawwr...rawrrr? (Uhh...no I didn't? )
Yami TJ: Okay then.
Chibi Red Eyes: Rawwwrrr rawr, rawr rawr rawrr rrrrawwr? (So anyway, what's the program called?)
Yami TJ: 'The Do's and Don't's of Violent Interpersonal Relationships'. We get to learn about SHARING! Oh GOODY!
Chibi Red Eyes: (sighs and mutters) Rawr rawr raaawwr rawrrr... (If the kindergarden class fits...)
Disclaimer: We no own Yugioh and/or Zelda. You got that?
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"So, lets get this straight," Yami said when they were all seated - all of them tired from standing up for so long, "The Zora Princess, who has the Spiritual Stone we need, is missing."
"Yep," Mako said.
"And all of the Zoras are busy searching for her?"
"Up and down the river," Mako confirmed.
"And they haven't found her yet."
"Unfortunately, that is so."
"…Well, what can we do to help the search?" Yuugi asked.
"The Zoras are capable of swimming from their Domain to Lake Hylia in under an hour," Mako grimaced, "Even I am not that good a swimmer. As much as it pains me, I have been leaving the search to those better equipped."
Yuugi looked disappointed. Possibly in hope of making the other Duelist feel better about not being able to do a thing to help - Mako having since noticed Yuugi's freakishly selfless streak long before this adventure - Mako said, "Well, since we have nothing else to do…let us go fishing!"
"…I guess…sushi does sound good," Yuugi thought aloud.
Yami sighed to himself, but before Mako and Yuugi could go ahead with their fishing plans, a Zora ran up the staircase. This one wasn't completely naked - it was wearing a metal helmet that had an open back for his tail-fin-thingy.
"Your Majesty!" the Zora cried, "The search party from Lake Hylia has returned! They have found what appears to be a clue to the whereabouts of the Princess!"
"A clue? Let me see this clue," Mako cried, jumping to his feet.
The Zora guard handed over what looked like a glass bottle. In fact, it really was a glass bottle, and rolled up inside was a piece of paper.
"What does the note say?" Yuugi asked, unable to read it over Mako's shoulder for the obvious reason.
"It says, 'Dear anyone - I am trapped inside Jabu-Jabu, please for the love of all that is right and good in the universe get me out of here!'," read Mako.
"What's Jabu-Jabu?" Yuugi asked next.
"…That's the fish that the Zora's see as a guardian deity," Mako explained.
"…Then doesn't that mean that the bottle in your hand had to go out through the backside of a fish?" Yami wondered.
There was a brief pause in their conversation as Mako threw the bottle away and went to go wash his hands. Even the greatest fisherman has his limits when dealing with certain parts of fish anatomy.
"Okay, so let's go see Jabu-Jabu then," Yami suggested when Mako returned.
"OK," Mako said, "This way."
He lead the three of them - the Zora guard was following them - up the small, winding ledge to the top of the little waterfall that he'd jumped from. The waterfall was fed by a stream going through a tunnel, and blocking the tunnel was a thick metal gate. Mako pushed it open and they all continued down the tunnel, until they saw the light.
That light was the sun, of course, and the tunnel ended right at the edge of a huge lake. A short ways over, the water poured out in what had to be the big waterfall blocking the entrance of Zora's Domain from Zora's River.
Except for the stone platform rising up out of the water, there was nothing in the lake but themselves.
Them and the HUGE fish who decided to stick his head up to say hi.
"And that is Jabu-Jabu," Mako said.
"WHOA!" Yuugi yelped, "That's a big fish alright!"
"The biggest," Mako grinned, "Lord Jabu-Jabu has been revered by the Zoras for generations. Only those with special permission - the attendants - are even allowed to see him."
"Special permission?" Yami inquired.
"…They, um…well, Jabu-Jabu is fed a meal of fish four times a day," Mako mentioned.
"Um," Yuugi interrupted, "Hey, Mako? Is Jabu-Jabu supposed to be so…green around the gills?"
Sure enough, the mega-sized fish wasn't moving too much, and looked distinctly ill.
"None of the Zora have been able to figure out why," replied the Duelist of the Sea, "But Jabu-Jabu has been ill since before I got here - since before the Zora Princess disappeared, even. Ever since a strange man from the desert came by, according to them."
"Yami Malik," Yami growled.
"Well, the Zora Princess must have been eaten by Lord Jabu-Jabu," Mako continued, "Now, how shall we get her out? Harming Jabu-Jabu is completely out of the question."
For a few minutes, there was a long silence as they tried to think of a way. And it was Yami that came up with the answer.
"We need to make Jabu-Jabu throw up," Yami said.
"Fish vomit? Lovely," Yuugi grimaced.
"Its either that or YOU get to go INSIDE the fish and pull the Princess out yourself, Aibou," Yami retorted, "And that's one BIG fish right there after all…"
"Someone find us a HUGE bucket!" Yuugi declared.
Now, the only question was - how do you make a whale-sized fishy blow itself some chunks? Once again, Yami came up with the answer.
But the credit really went to Yuugi's Grandpa's one-time participation in a College Chili Cook-off. Grandpa had recently recreated his prize-winning meat dish, and from that Yuugi and his friends had learned to be VERY wary of the things Grandpa made for dinner.
The main ingredient of Grandpa's chili?
Five pounds of pure wasabi.
Luckily, the Zoras were able to find that much wasabi. They also brought up a bunch of large fresh fish. And it was left to Yuugi and Mako to coat and stuff each and every fish with the wasabi. Then the load of green-covered fish was carried up to the platform and left sitting right under Jabu-Jabu's nose.
The giant fish blinked, and then lunged for the offered meal, almost swallowing the huge serving platter in its feeding frenzy. Surely a big meal would be just the thing for its queasiness and stomachache! The load of food had just hit Jabu-Jabu's belly before the huge fish noticed that something was wrong. Very, VERY wrong.
Instead of the expected deliciousness, there was only BURNING!
-
-
And so, Jabu-Jabu writhed, choked, and finally relieved its pain with the biggest episode of chunk-blowing Yuugi had witnessed since Jou's brilliant Tequila-Chugging Contest last year.
Zoras ran around screaming, trying to avoid the rain of nastiness their Guardian Deity was sending down upon them. Having thought about this part beforehand, Yami, Yuugi, and Mako were safely sheltered in the tunnel.
It wasn't just spicy fish and vomit that came out, though. Something the size of Yuugi sailed through the air, screaming its lungs out, and landed with a big splash near them.
"What the -!" Yuugi gasped, "Is that -"
"It is," Yami agreed, equally incredulous, "So THAT'S what happened to him!"
"Who are we talking about?" Mako asked, pointing to the green-haired kid who was attempting to wash himself off in the water, "Who's that?"
"That is Noa Kaiba," Yami explained, while Yuugi splashed over to actually offer a hand to the green-haired Kaiba.
-"Huh? Oh, Yuugi Motou!" Noa exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"
"Even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me," Yuugi answered.
Meanwhile, Jabu-Jabu wasn't quite done hurling yet. With one last massive - and disgusting - hacking sound, it spat out something bluish, wobbly, and made of tentacles. It landed on the platform with an oozy splat.
"GIANT JELLYFISH!" Mako crowed in delight, dashing towards the icky thing, "BOIL IT! GRILL IT! BIG FISH!"
"Who is that? Or do I not want to know?" Noa asked.
"That's Mako. He's supposed to be the King of the Zoras - those fish-people," Yuugi explained.
"He's a crazed fisherman," Yami added.
"Yami!" Yuugi scolded, "Mako is not crazed."
"He threw a harpoon at us when we met and called us a 'big catch of fish'!"
"And the nice way to say that is overly enthusiastic," Yuugi replied.
"Well, I guess this is better than being dead," Noa mused.
"Guess again," Yami retorted, "You're supposed to be the Zora Princess."
"WHOA!" Noa yelped, "Don't I get any say in this!"
"It could be worse," Yuugi mentioned.
"Yeah, you could be stuck as a fairy," Yami agreed sarcastically, "Boy, isn't it lucky that some people aren't flying balls of light with wings, hmm?"
"I think I sense a little tension here," Noa smirked.
"What tension? We're fine."
"Noa," Yuugi interrupted, "You wouldn't happen to have some big blue jewel thing? It's called a Spiritual Stone and we sort of need it for something…"
"You mean this thing? Sure, take it," Noa said as he fished inside a pocket, "If I hadn't picked this stupid thing up, that fish wouldn't have gone crazy trying to eat me…"
The Spiritual Stone of Water - a.k.a. the Zora's Sapphire - was shaped like a ring of blue and gold, and sparkled in the sunlight. Yuugi and Yami felt relieved - FINALLY, their weird little quest was over!