Chapter 24

Neither Gene nor Alex nor Simon nor Kim told anyone else that they'd been to see Keats that day. It seemed like a private matter to each of them, a personal journey each had to make and after they'd confronted him and made little sense of anything he'd said they had found that they'd laid just a few of their demons to rest. The fact that they'd all seen his handcuffs and the guards on the door made them feel just a smidgen safer and the fact that he appeared to be talking gibberish made them feel as though he'd lost a little of his bite.

Gene noticed the brightness in Alex's expression as they drove back to the flat that night.

"You look like you just got yerself a Blue Peter badge," he commented.

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Please, Gene, like we're ever going to get one after what happened with the garden," she reminded him.

Gene nodded slowly. She had a point. Nevertheless she was looking a little brighter than he'd seen her for a few days. He found himself sneaking looks at her every few minutes as he drove along. It reached the point where his eyes were more on Alex than on the road. When he almost ran over an old lady with a blue rinse Alex finally asked,

"Alright, this isn't standard Gene Hunt driving. You were in serious danger of putting a dent in your car then. What's the matter?"

Gene snuck another glance at her.

"Got some colour in your cheeks tonight, Bols," he said.

Alex wasn't sure what he meant. She didn't think she'd been especially pale. She frowned curiously and asked,

"As opposed to when I'm doing my ghost impression?"

Gene tried to turn his attention back to the road but he noticed tempting cleavage to add to the glowing complexion.

"You've got it all going on tonight," he said.

Alex frowned. He was making about as much sense as Keats had earlier.

"How much scotch did you have before we left?" she asked, "should you be driving?"

"I won't be later," said Gene, "tonight: me, you, meal out and a bottle of wine in bed."

Alex raised an eyebrow. They hadn't been for a meal out in a very long time.

"Where are we going? She asked.

"Trying that new place on the main street," said Gene, "French I think. Everyone in there's got a big bushy thing under their nose and there are pictures of the Eiffel Tower in the window. Yer clue's right there really."

Alex smiled to herself as she watched the world going by outside of the window. From a day of difficult beginnings it had turned into quite a winner. Simon and Kim had made up so the sofa would no longer be occupied or under threat from the tearing of leather courtesy of piercings, she'd faced Keats and told him in no uncertain terms what to expect and now a special evening stretched out ahead of them. She could certainly get used to this happy existence.

~xXx~

The music was a little cheesy and certainly did nothing to allay European stereotypes. Neither did the onions and the garlic hanging over every picture frame, although Alex couldn't be sure if that was there to signify the French cuisine or whether there might be a vampire or two appearing for dinner. Other than that, the ambience of the place seemed lovely and from what she had seen of other people's plates the food would be well and truly worth waiting for. She was so hungry she could quite happily have eaten the large marzipan Arc De Triomphe that stood beside the door, despite neither liking marzipan nor the look of the man who was caressing it and going overboard about what a wonderful piece of art it was.

A rather stiff-looking waiter showed them to their seats and pelted them with menus. Alex wasn't sure that this was a very efficient way to run a restaurant but her stomach's desire for food spoke loudly over her common sense that was telling her to complain to the manager about getting a menu square in the head.

Aside from that little incident the evening moved along beautifully; good food and wine, the pleasure of each other's company… Alex hadn't felt so peaceful and happy since… well, since the day she bumped into Shaz and their lives were turned upside down yet again.

"So," Gene began, casting one eye on Alex. she was aware that Gene had spent a very long time cutting the same piece of meat before he started his sentence. He looked a little awkward and concentrated in his food rather than Alex's eyes as he continued, "This engagement."

Alex froze, her fork halfway to her mouth. She stared at Gene, her mouth half-open and waiting to receive the food. There was a clang and she realised a moment too late that she'd let go of her fork. Scrambling around, she picked it up, coughed awkwardly and brushed her hair from her glowing cheeks.

"Uh, yes?" she asked.

Gene cleared his throat.

"How long do these things usually go on for then?"he asked, "it's just, you've 'ad that ring on yer finger since November and now April's half gone and you haven't bought any lingerie for the wedding night yet."

Alex found herself blushing a shade she never thought possible. In truth, she wasn't the easiest person to make blush, but anything that brought her attention to the nature of their relationship made her feel somewhat hot in the face. She took a sip of water, fanned herself discretely with her napkin and said,

"Well, I've been waiting for some, uh… guidance. From you. About when I should start planning for that… particular… event."

Gene's proposal had come at a very strange time both for them and the world. In the aftermath of Alex fading out and returning a moment later, Gene finally came to terms with what he would be losing and made the difficult step of proposing. But the next day a bullet to the head took Gene's Alex away and replaced her with Alex Circa 1981. Ever since the right Alex had found her way home Gene and Alex had been too busy making the most of every day to take a closer look at the bigger picture or the future, especially since Alex had seemed to have made a choice. It felt as though the time ahead of them was endless.

But Gene had seen that look in her eye again. There were things bleeding through from 2011, moments where she felt strange or 'off' and he'd seen her hand moving to that scar. The last time that happened she'd flickered more than analogue cable TV.

"Wasn't sure if you still wanted me to put another ring on yer hand," Gene said a little gruffly, "besides, way we've been at it, there's no way you can wear white!"

"Gene!" Alex cried, her blush growing darker. She hid slightly behind her wine glass and took a couple of mouthfuls. When she calmed down a little she looked at Gene seriously and said,

"Of course I do. What made you think any differently?"

Gene looked down and exhaled loudly. He pushed some food around his plate, no longer feeling hungry.

"Molly's haunting yer dreams again," he said.

Alex turned slightly cold. Keats's chilling words came back to her and she closed her eyes for a moment. She had been doing a good job of blocking them out, but now she wondered if they held any truth. She couldn't imagine any way that Keats could have been in contact with Molly but the coincidence seemed too great.

"Gene," she began, "dreaming of Molly just means that I'm dreaming of Molly. It doesn't mean I'm going to wake up. It doesn't mean I'm going back to two thousand and eleven. It means… it means she's my daughter and I will never forget that. I will never stop loving her. And I'll never stop feeling guilty for," she found her eyes cast downward as she stalled mid-sentence. She wasn't sure she could finish her thought.

"Go on," Gene prompted.

Alex breathed deeply.

"I'll never stop feeling guilty," she whispered, "that I have chosen to stay with you. Not with her." She looked him in the eye. "I chose you, Gene. And you know that. I'm not a pendulum you know." She noticed his blank expression "I'm not swinging back and forth. I'm here for the duration, Gene. Fenchurch East needs me. You need me."

"Bollocks, I need you to warm, me up in bed, that's all," Gene lied into his glass as he downed most of it in one go.

Alex had seen through that kind of line too many times before.

"But," she began, "if you want this engagement to be a," she paused, "a two ring rather than a one ring affair, then you need to tell me so. Because I won't assume anything. Doesn't pay to in this world."

Gene stared at her over the table and lifted the bottle of wine. He poured a little more for each of them and lifted his glass.

"You gonna toast then?" he asked.

"To what?" Alex frowned.

Gene waited until she lifted her glass and then said,

"To wedding night lingerie. I hear autumn's a good time for that."

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Is it really?" she asked, the corner of her mouth twitching into a smile.

Gene pressed his glass against hers and nodded.

"You'd better get a bloody good garter, Drakey." He told her.

Alex's smile became a little broader.

"I'll see what I can do," she said.

In the moments that followed they said little to each other, sneaking looks and drinking wine, trying to eat while their mouths fought stupid grins. As they came to the end of their main course the next surprise of the evening arrived. Gene had no sooner pushed his plate away and leaned back in his chair than he seat bolt upright again and declared,

"Bloody hell, is Stringer dressed for a funeral or something?"

"What?"

Alex tried to follow his line of sight and to her surprise she saw Kim and Shaz walking demurely through the restaurant. In a turnaround from the jazzy clubbing gear that the two were usually seen in together they were both wearing smart dresses, dressed up to the nines, looking as though they were on the most formal of dates.

"You think there's nothing to take the piss out of and then fate presents a big bloody opportunity," Gene said happily, wiping his mouth on his napkin and getting to his feet.

"Oh Gene, no, leave them alone," Alex tried to stop him, "leave them alone, they're just out for a quiet evening!" but Gene had already made his way across to their table. Alex put her head in her hands and sighed deeply. What was he trying to be, the obligatory embarrassing uncle who turns up at parties? But a few moments later Gene stomped back to the table with a face like thunder.

"That's the last time I speak to Metal Mickey outside the office," he mumbled.

Alex hesitated.

"What did she do?" she asked.

"Pointed out the gates of the palace were open," Gene mumbled, pulling up his zip. Despite her best attempts to keep a straight face Alex couldn't stop herself from letting out a giggle and had to put her hand over her mouth to stop it from becoming a gaffaw. The stiff-looking waiter chose that precise moment to come along and ask for their dessert orders. Whilst still trying to keep her laughter under control Alex decided,

"I think 'll have a slice of the gateaux, please."

Gene barely glanced at the menu.

"I'll have one too."

"You'll have two?" asked the waiter.

"No! One!" cried Gene as the stiff man walked away. Gene gave a grumble and muttered a few things under his breath before mumbling about needing to take a leak and stomping off to the bathroom.

Alex took the opportunity to apologise to the two girls for Gene's attempted interruption and walked slowly to their table.

"Oh dear," she sighed, "Kim, Shaz, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't worry about it, Ma'am," Kim began, "he didn't stop by for long."

"So I saw," said Alex, "good work on that, by the way. Getting rid of the Guv in a social situation is something very few members of CID have ever achieved."

Kim smiled and slowly got to her feet.

"Sorry but I just need to go for a piss… I mean, visit the bathroom," she tried to be a little more ladylike in their fancy surroundings, "order for me, Shaz? You know what I want."

"I know what I want," Shaz commented cheekily, a glint in her eye. She realised Alex was still there and coughed, embarrassed. She drank a little water and tried to cover up for her slip. "Uh, the soup. That's what I want."

Alex felt herself blushing again. Gene's earlier comments had set her off into easily-embarrassed mode. She took a step back and held up her hands.

"None of my business," she said with a smile and turned to head back to her table, but Shaz called her back.

"Wait…" she watched as Alex turned around, "can I ask you something?"

Alex hesitated. She glanced back at the table where Gene had returned from the bathroom.

"Uh… if it's quick," she said, "there's gateaux on the way."

"It's just Kim said you were the best person to ask," said Shaz, "about getting a transfer."

Alex hesitated. Surely Shaz didn't mean what she thought she meant?

"You… want to transfer?" she asked.

Shaz looked a little awkward. She had that sweet smile that Alex remembered so well, the kind of smile that made you want to protect her from the harsh reality of the world.

"I'm not very happy at my station, you see," she said quietly, "my sergeant isn't a very nice man. His head is stuck up his backside and he treats us like bits of rubbish he's found on the floor. We never seem to get anywhere, nothing ever gets done. I only ever wanted to make a difference."

Alex felt her mouth go dry. Her pulse went up as her nerves increased.

"I'm… sorry, Shaz," she began, "there are no openings in CID."

"I just meant uniform," said Shaz.

"I don't really know anything about uniform," Alex felt flustered.

"Could you find out for me?" Shaz pressed, "everyone in your station seems so much happier. I just want to do a good job. I'm a hard worker and I want to make a difference."

Alex took a deep breath. Visions played through her mind of Shaz, the young girl on the beat, the screwdriver that plunged into her guts and the man who took her life without mercy. How long did she have left? Weeks? Months? Whatever it was, it would never be enough. Not for a bright soul like Shaz. Oh god, she could feel tears threatening to well. She swallowed them back and said quietly,

"Maybe you should stay where you are for the time being."

Shaz stared at her. She couldn't think of any reason why Alex would say that after she'd explained the situation.

"W-why?" she asked.

Alex took a deep breath,

"You know… working at the same station as someone you're involved with," she felt herself turning red again, "it's not a good idea."

Shaz stared at here, aghast.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you and Kim broke up, imagine how you'd feel, running into each other all the time?" Alex asked. "And even so, it's not very professional. Relationships with work colleagues. It can lead to all sorts of difficulties."

Shaz's expression changed. It changed to one that Alex had only seen rarely but it was the kind of look that, when given, was never forgotten.

"Really?" she challenged, "you seem to be managing alright." her gaze moved beyond Alex to Gene at the table, and Alex felt herself growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"We've had our struggles," Alex wasn't completely lying as she spoke, "it's not easy. Especially for someone so young."

"I'm not that young," Shaz frowned.

"You both have a lot to learn."

"I'm not that young."

Alex knew she was only making it worse. She took a step backwards and said quietly,

"I'm sorry, Shaz. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

"Yeah. Thanks for nothing," Shaz said crossly as Kim came back from the toilets. Alex made a hasty retreat to Gene at the table. She glanced to one side and saw a pretty heated conversation between Shaz and Kim which led to a finger being pointed over in her direction several times and ended up with Kim and Shaz collecting their coats and leaving.

"All not well on the KD Lang table?" Gene asked.

Alex felt her breath become staggered as tears threatened to fall.

"I don't think I'll be seeing Shaz again," she whispered.

Gene stared at her.

"What happened, Drake?"

Alex looked at him darkly.

"She wanted to transfer to Fenchurch East," she whispered.

Gene hesitated.

"And what did you say."

Alex looked down.

"Would I be looking like this if I told her yes?" she whispered.

Gene closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He knew that Alex felt awful about what she'd done to Shaz but he felt a sense of relief. If the confrontation led to Alex keeping her distance from Shaz then that was possibly the best thing that could happen. He knew Alex wouldn't see it like that though and reached across the table for her hand.

"You want to go, Bols?" he asked.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"The gateaux's on its way," she whispered.

She'd barely spoken before a waiter approached the table with three plates.

"One slice of gateaux for you madam," he said, "and two for you, Sir."

He placed two plates down in front of Gene.

Gene stared at them. Then he stared at the waiter. Then, he cracked his knuckles.

"I think someone has got frogs legs stuck in their ears!" Gene boomed, getting to his feet where he embarked upon chasing the rather scared waiter around the restaurant.

By the time they left Gene was wearing two slices of gateaux on his shirt, they'd been permanently banned from the place and Alex realised that her mistake was to start feeling that it had been a good day.

No good can ever come of that, she reminded herself with a very deep sigh.