These Are Really Strong

'So,' They were almost at their door when Quinn broke the silence, hands still linked but Santana's eyes hardly left the floor. 'What are we doing S?' She stopped when they reached their door, turning the brunette to look at her.

'We're walking back to the room.' Santana stated, but knowing what the blonde was really referring to.

'Come on, you know what I mean.'

'Yeah I..' she sighed, 'I like you, Quinn. And I don't know if I need to be institutionalised or what, but I think you like me back.'

'I do, like you. So I just want to know what we're doing?' The blonde reached around Santana, placing the key card in and then opening the door. Santana walked in backwards, pulling the blonde with her.

'What do you want to do?' She asked, as Quinn closed the door and flipped the light on.

'I think,' she paused, watching the smaller girl take off her jacket and sling it over the chair. 'I think I want to take you out on a date.' Santana chuckled.

'Like, dinner and a movie?' She sat gently on her bed as Quinn sat opposite on hers.

'Yeah,' Santana laughed, 'what's so funny?'

'And just how do you think we're going to swing that? With the entire glee club here?'

'I don't know, we can think of something. All I do know,' She got up and stood in front of the brunette, who looked up at her with big brown eyes, 'is that I want to get to know you Santana. Properly.' She smiled, leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

'Why?' Santana asked as the blonde straightened herself, and then looked at her with a confused expression.

'Because you're an interesting person Santana, you're worth getting to know.' The brunette reached up for Quinn's hand, taking it in her own as she gently kissed her knuckles.

'Thanks Q.'

'Yeah, now how about we try for sleep?'

'It's only like,' She crawled over the bed to reach the clock on the table, 'it's only eight thirty.'

'And?' Quinn got her bathroom bag and walked towards the door. 'Something tells me you'll be keeping me up later anyway.' She grinned, closing the door as Santana smiled to herself.

'Not in a good way!' She shouted afterwards.

Quinn came out of the bathroom a while later, finding the light off but she could see that Santana had changed already. Her clothes were thrown in various places, Quinn shaking her head as she picked them up and put them on the chair with her jacket. She also found that the Latina had crawled into her bed, obviously still freaked out from earlier, so Quinn didn't mind. She liked being close to her, eve if it meant she wasn't going to have a good nights sleep. She slowly lifted the covers and slipped under them. Santana was facing the other way so she couldn't really tell if she was sleeping or not. Not was the answer, as soon as Quinn was comfy she felt cold hands wrap around her stomach. 'San, you're freezing.'

'Shit, sorry.' She whispered, and began pulling her hands back. But then she felt a pair of much warmer ones grabbing them.

'No I didn't mean that, let me warm you up.' She smiled down at the brunette, even though their faces were covered in darkness, and then held her hands between her own and her stomach, using her body heat to warm the Latina.

'Thanks.' Santana snuggled into her, exhaling heavily as she prepared for another hard night.

'Are you okay?' Quinn asked, she could feel the Latina shaking again.

'I, I'm fine.' She swallowed, the earlier incident having more of an effect on her than she thought. 'I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.'

'Maybe it's because it's getting closer, Monday you know?' Quinn knew that referring to the anniversary would make her tense up, but it was only just over a day away now.

'Yeah probably it.' Santana agreed, her arm involuntary tightening around the blonde due to more shaking.

'Okay, that's it.' Quinn lifted up the covers and switched on the light at the side of her bed. She looked back to the brunette who was trying to bury herself in the warmth of the bedclothes. 'I'm getting you a pill,' she got up. 'Why didn't you tell us about these earlier? They could have helped you more.' Quinn asked as she rooted through the side pocket of the Latina's bag.

'I try not.. not to take them.' She shivered, Quinn standing back up with a small orange container in her hands. She put them on the side and went into the bathroom for a glass of water, coming back moments later to find Santana sitting with her back up against the wall and her eyes closed. They opened when she felt Quinn sit back down on the bed and she watched her look over the container.

'These are really strong Santana.' She looked up at her.

'Which is why I try not to take them.' She smiled, breathing slowly as Quinn saw her fists clench again.

'San, you cant spend the whole night like that, you should take one.' The brunette nodded, 'yeah?'

'Yeah, okay.' Quinn popped open the lid, pouring one large oval shaped white pill and handing it to the smaller girl. She tentatively placed it in her mouth and lent her head back once more in an attempt to swallow it. Quinn handed her the water and watched her face screw up in discomfort as it went down her throat.

'Okay?' Quinn asked, pressing the lid back into place as Santana nodded.

'Yeah, ugh,' She was obviously frustrated with herself, 'I hate this feeling, this lack of control.' She looked down at her hands, still shaking she clenched them in an effort to make it subside. 'I'm still fucking shaking, I cant make it stop.' She closed her eyes, and then felt Quinn get back into bed beside her.

'It's okay S, it will take some time.' She tried to smile reassuringly, the Latina looking over at her unconvinced.

'It's been two years Q and I don't know if I could do this again.' She let a tear fall down her face as she smiled at the blonde, Quinn helping lower her back under the covers as the pill kicked in. She watched the Latina fall into sleep, however horrible and terrifying that sleep was going to be, and then laid down opposite her watching her face and her expressions. She wanted to be ready if Santana needed her.