Oh my goodness, this took me forever. I had lost the original rough draft until a few days ago, and then I had to combine it with some new stuff, bleh, and I haven't had time to type it up (one of these honors classes is seriously going to kill me). Anyway, it's done now, so read and review! :D

Chapter 25

He hated this. This feeling of not knowing, this feeling that she could be shivering under the showerhead again or crying her eyes out over something one of the girls at school had said. It was almost worse than discovering her like that. Almost. Nothing could be worse than watching her hurt.

"Kari?" Not in the living room. He hated the way his breathing came ever so slightly faster, like he couldn't quite get enough oxygen. "Pretty girl?" Her science book lay open on the countertop. He hated that, too. She'd had a test or a paper due every day for a week and still forced him, between sobs over her math book, to leave at ten at night to go home and refused to ask for any extensions ("It's my fault I haven't been keeping up with-" "It's his fault, Kari! You can't be expected to keep up with three AP classes when you're already spending all your energy trying to work through all the-" "J-Just g-go home, TK! Y-Your mom," and then she dissolved into tears and pushed away any additional attempts at comfort.)

He didn't want to check the bathroom, but he did it anyway, holding his breath unconsiously as he pushed the door the rest of the way open. It was empty, though. "Pretty girl," he called again, louder. She wasn't in her room, or Matt's. That was the whole apartment. "Kari, please," he didn't know how to finish it, the anxiety was worse than ever. She wouldn't leave the apartment, would she? Images of her began to form in his head, of her broken, sobbing body in an alley somewhere or back at her apartment with him standing over her.

The balcony. He held onto the thought as if it were actually her. Please, please, Kari, be on the balcony. He hadn't thought of it right away, since Matt had hidden the doors behind floor-length curtains and had never, to TK's knowledge, even used the small porch. It took him a second to figure out the latch on the door. When he did, he pulled the door so hard it left a mark as it smacked into the neighboring wall. The shoulders of the small brunette girl on the porch contracted at the harsh noise. The small brunette girl. Relief was not a strong enough word for what TK felt rushing through him.

She sat on the concrete floor, her legs between the rails, dangling off the edge. There was a crumpled tissue in her left hand. He braced himself for the pain that came with her tears (It's worse for her, he reminded himself.) "Kari?" Her shoulders shook slightly, and he swallowed. You should never have left her alone, not after all that happened on Monday. "Are you okay, pretty girl? Did the test not go well?" He took a step towards her cautiously.

"What? N-No, the test went fine, I got maybe one wrong." Something was wrong, her shoulders were trembling and he could see the crumpled tissue in her hand, but he couldn't hear the tears in her voice.

"Pretty girl, is…"

"Hm?" She glanced over her shoulder at him, and he furrowed his brow. Her eyes were clearer than they had been in days, free of the all-too-common red and resulting swelling. She hadn't been crying, but then…

"You're shivering," he frowned. "What are you doing out here in short sleeves?" She shrugged, and a small, embarrassed smile pulled at the corner of her lips.

"Just taking a break from homework. It's a nice view." Her eyes flickered towards the skyline, the tall buildings washed in an orangey sunset. It was a very nice view.

"You have a cold?" he asked, still confused. She noticed the tissue in her hand.

"Oh, no. I just, the cold makes my nose run a little." She stuffed the tissue into her jeans pocket.

"Y-You're really okay?" he asked cautiously, too afraid of her pain to relax right away.

"Yeah," she nodded and gave a small smile as proof before turning back to the skyline. When was the last time she'd smiled this much? He watched her for a few seconds, waiting for her to start crying, but the tears didn't come.

"D'you mind if I sit with you?"

"'S fine," she murmured.

"But you won't let me give you my coat," he added knowingly. He could hear the smile in her voice when she answered.

"Probably not." He ducked back into the house briefly and returned with a blanket. Kari shivered violently as he crouched behind her and laid the warm fleece over her shoulders.

"You're freezing, pretty girl." She shrugged shyly as he lowered himself to the ground beside her. His legs weren't small enough to fit between the rails the way hers did, so he sat cross-legged with his right shoulder against the bars, so he could see her face.

"I didn't mean to… It helps, to be outside, to watch all the lights…" She leaned forward and let her forehead press into the metal bars. He watched her eyelashes brush against the metal, imagined what they would feel like tickling his skin. Cut it out. "I used to… to go back to your apartment building, to the roof. I still have your key. I spent the night there once or twice over the summer, on the really bad nights. I know that was stupid," she added, "but after a couple of years with him…"

"You weren't too concerned about your physical safety anymore." She shook her head, and he sighed. It hurt as badly as ever, thinking about what she'd been through.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I… I get it. I probably would've… Jeez, Kari, your hand is-!" He had moved to put his hand on hers, wrapped tight around a bar in the balcony, had felt her pale, ice-cold fingers.

"It's not that- ow," she winced as he pulled her hand from its grip on the metal and encompassed it in his. She whimpered as he reached over and took her other hand, too, pressing his warmth into her skin.

"I'm sorry, pretty girl, but I'm not gonna let you get frostbite. C'mere," he pulled her gently into his lap as she slid closer, disentangling her legs from the cold metal bars. He pulled the blanket tighter around her and pulled her close into his chest. She leaned her head obediently against his shoulder. It felt significantly better than it should have.

"I didn't do it on purpose, TK," she said as he wrapped her cold hands in the fleece blanket. "I mean, I wasn't trying to-"

"I know," he leaned his lips down to her ear, leaning his nose into her hair. They were silent for a moment, and he watched the orange light play in her eyes. He'd seen this orange light before, nearly a month ago, dancing on Kari's apartment building as he waited for someone to answer the door. Pain roared in his chest as the memories began to bombard his mind, forcing him to swallow hard. "You should talk again," he whispered.

"About what?" He shrugged.

"Anything, I just like to hear your voice." He smiled briefly through the pain when she blushed.

"I like your sweater." The smile formed unconsciously on his lips this time.

"Yeah?" He ran a hand through his hair. She nodded against him.

"You were wearing this the other day, when…" her voice dropped out for a second, and he knew exactly which day she meant. She goes through all this and still manages to pay attention to something as silly as your sweater, just to make you happy. "It brings out your eyes." He had picked her right hand up in his and begun to play with it absentmindedly, weaving and unweaving their fingers and tracing shapes into her palm and wrist. "And it's really soft." He leaned his nose into her hair again, near her ear.

"I'll have to wear it more often, then." She blushed slightly, and he grinned. Adorable. They were silent for a while, as she watched the city and he watched her.

"Y-Your brother said something the other day," her voice shook as she shivered, and he frowned.

"Let me," he dropped her hand and began to rub her arms through the blanket, using the friction to warm her.

"Your brother said that… there was some stuff that you went through, too. While you were away. If you ever wanted to tell me anything; just don't think that you can't talk to me because you think that I have enough to deal with or something. I want to help you, if you need it."

"Kari…" He began gently.

"You don't have to tell me," she spoke across him quickly. "I mean I'm not trying to make you-"

"Take it easy, pretty girl." He stopped rubbing her arms and hugged her gently. "That isn't what I was going to say. We can talk, if you want."

"If you want," she corrected softly. "If there's a reason you haven't brought it up…"

"It just seemed so stupid after everything that you went through." Because it is. It's idiocy next to the kinds of things he did to you. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure of where to begin. He picked her hands up again out of habit. "It's going to sound so…" Disgusting? Egotistical? Ridiculous? All of the above. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "When I moved, things were kind of bad, I guess. My mom was really busy, and I didn't know anyone, and I was just sort of lost. And I missed you," he added. "A lot." He leaned his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply, reminding himself that she was here now.

"So it was weird," he continued, "when I got to school and everyone thought that I was something special. You're still really cold." She shook her head.

"I'm fine. Finish your story."

"It was just… I was really popular all of a sudden, with everyone."

"So?" He fixed his eyes determinedly on a spot on the railing.

"So everyone includes a lot of girls." She laughed softly, and he frowned when it turned into another shiver. "Maybe we should go inside." She ignored him entirely.

"That's your big secret?" she asked, an amused smile on her face as he studied her cold body worriedly, "That the star basketball player had a few girlfriends?"

"No… I mean, it wasn't a few; it was a lot, and it was wrong. I didn't tell you before because I'm embarrassed to have- I didn't treat those girls like people." He felt anger slipping into his voice. Kari looked up at him, her big brown eyes worried, and he realized how that must have sounded. "I don't mean that I- I mean, I broke up with every one of them after like the second kiss, but I didn't care about any of them; I only dated them because…" he swallowed and didn't finish. "It just… it became a formula; I knew when to hold their hand and when and how to kiss them and how to break up with them and still have another girl come running in a few days. It was disgusting." His voice raised slightly.

"They knew what they were doing, too, TK."

"I know that, Kari, but that just means that I was stooping to that level, going out with a girl just to go out with a girl. Going out with girls who didn't care about me just like I didn't care about them, because that's what people do. Standing by and listening to them talk about other girls the way people talk about you." His voice weakened slightly. "You never would've put up with that, even then. You've never lost sight of other people's feelings, even with everything you've been through." The shame was excruciating. He wanted her to pull away from him, to refuse to let him touch her. This was why he hadn't told her.

"I'm not perfect, TK."

"I know that, and I know that most other guys were… a lot worse than I was, but… I-I want to be the kind of guy that girls like you can trust to really care about the important stuff. I've always wanted that, and when I moved I let you down."

"You've never let me down, TK."

"Yeah?" he whispered, self-disgust tainting his voice as he traced the still too-fresh marks on her wrist.

"TK," she pulled her wrist out from his hand and looked up at him, her eyes a little watery now. Those eyes had him in an instant; there was nothing he could do.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry; you're trying to help and I… I'm just a little frustrated, okay? I don't want to think that there was nothing I could do to keep you safe. Please don't cry."

"It isn't just you against him, TK. I hurt myself by going back there."

"I want it to be just me against him, then. I don't want you to-"

"I know. You never let me down," she said quietly, leaning her head into his shoulder again. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist in response and laid the side of his head on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and felt her against him, the softness of her skin where they touched. He wanted her here like this forever, wanted to hold her in his arms and watch her smile and blush at the things he said, free of hurt, free of sadness. They were silent again, for a long time, until Kari gave a soft laugh as TK played with her hand. "That tickles." He smiled quietly.

"You know what you said before, about not knowing how to make me feel better?"

"Yeah."

"You just have to smile." She blushed. "Kari?"

"Yeah?" He leaned over her shoulder, so that his lips were next to her ear.

"I like it when you're happy." Another rush of pink flooded her face. He should have pulled back then, helped her to her feet, and made her come inside to warm up, she had been outside for far too long. But her smiles had given him a strange confidence and her sweet-smelling hair tickled the side of his face, tempting him. Not to mention the dimming orange sunset that made her eyes light up in a way he hadn't seen in ages. It won't hurt her, he thought. He didn't wait for reason to catch up with him; he pressed his lips into the corner of her jaw as soon as he could. The pink in her face darkened substantially. He shouldn't feel good about that, the reaction on her face, or want to do it again. He certainly shouldn't want to do more, to tilt her beautiful face towards him, kiss her lips, and feel her curves against him, explore them with his hands. Her voice interrupted his thoughts, saved him from making any more mistakes.

"I like it when you're happy, too."

Okay, now for a few minor anouncements...
1. I didn't do script frenzy. D: I know. I'm a loser, but my english teacher decided to put these huge weekly writing assignments in for the fourth quarter. (Which I should really be working on right now.)
2. There are about four (more likely less, depends on how long they end up being) more chapters left!
3. (Please don't hate me, but I don't want this to be a surprise in the last chapter.) I know when Tai comes in. I know when and how and why he comes. I have part of it written. But he doesn't come until after the main story takes place. So he won't be in these last few chapters. However, if you guys want to read that, I can put it up either as an extra chapter at the end or as a seperate one-shot type of deal.
4. (Related to #3) I have some other stuff, too- Meeting TK's Mom, Christmas, TK and Kari arguing over college arrangements, that kind of stuff, that I wrote to help fill things out in my head. So again, if you're interested, I can edit and upload after I'm done with the main story, but if not, that's fine! I just wanted to put it out there since I'm not sure what I'll work on after this is done.

Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can! -love