Author's Note: Wow! I really didn't expect that many will love the previous chapter. But I thank you all for the love. OMG. I'm so overwhelmed. Thank you. Again, I can't thank you all enough for the appreciation you gave this fic. THANK YOU soo freaking much.

So here's another chapter, and maybe, another wild berry night. Since we saw all the past and what it did to Quinn, maybe, Rachel could explain herself in a way. Although, most of us (including me) thinks that there's no proper explanation to what she did, maybe she had her reasons. Let's give her a chance. It's still your call who to side, though. LOL. And sorry for this looong chapter.

While constantly trying to push all her thoughts, Rachel kept her composure around Quinn.

She had mixed emotions at that time. First, she was sitting beside Quinn inside a very silent cab. Second, she can't deny the rush she felt when she saw Quinn and Phoebe saying their goodbye's back at the theatre as if they're never seeing each other again.

They're on their way to the restaurant that Santana picked personally and another emotion that added to her already-messed up emotional system was fear. She doesn't know how to face Santana after it all but she had to.

If there was one thing she learned recently, it was to always be ready for anything. She was contemplating about what to say to Santana when Quinn spoke.

"Just be yourself, Rachel," Quinn said not looking at Rachel.

She called me Rachel. I want to cry. Never have anyone called my name and felt this special.

"Brittany will be there, so maybe Santana will be cool about it," Quinn said again.

"I hope so. I missed our friendship," Rachel said before she realized she said it.

Quinn smiled, "Me too."

"Quinn, mind if I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Can I have a drink tonight?"

Quinn turned to Rachel and saw that pout in the diva's face. Quinn smiled.

"What?" Rachel asked in anticipation.

"You know what, Rachel. It's still weird to know that you are now the very alcoholic Rachel Berry," Quinn said smilingly as she shook her head.

Rachel smiled, "People change."

"I would certainly know that."

Then there's silence; an awkward one.

"So about your question…" Quinn said looking at Rachel who was making adorable faces.

"Maybe water will do. That's also a drink, right?" Quinn chuckled.

"Quinn!"

"Hmmmm."

It was hard for both of them to act like everything was okay. Quinn wasn't ready to address the situation yet. Her past memories of Rachel taught her a lesson that when you're ready for a leap, it doesn't mean everyone else is ready for that leap, too.

She hoped that maybe acting fine, acting okay will do the trick.

Rachel, on the other hand, was contented for now. At least, Quinn talked to her like old times and didn't avoid any contact with her.

"Quinn! Five drinks."

"Five? Wow!"

"Okay, let me have four."

"Three."

"Four."

"Don't let me make it one."

Rachel sighed and smiled, "Okay, three…"

Quinn smiled.

"Plus one?"

"Rachel!"

Rachel laughed, "Okay. Sorry."

They sat in comfortable silence until they reached the restaurant. They arrived at the Boathouse Restaurant in Central Park. They learned that Santana already reserved a table somewhere in the lakeside.

Quinn led the way to their table and soon as they stood at the entrance to the outside docks, Rachel saw Santana and Brittany already seated. Brittany waved at them and they eventually approached the table.

It was perfect. The docks overlooked the lake and the boats that roamed the lake fascinated Rachel. It was a pretty romantic scene and she wondered at the back of her mind why Santana chose this instead of a bar or anything of the likes.

"I asked San to take me to her favorite place here in New York," Brittany said talking to no one in particular.

Quinn sat beside Santana and she motioned Rachel to take the seat between her and Brittany as well.

"Wow. I must say, Santana, you have a very good taste," Rachel said, trying very hard not to sound awkward.

Santana ignored her, "Tell me again, Brit, why we needed the midget here."

Quinn gave Santana a look.

"What? Am I the bad guy again?" Santana asked Quinn.

This time, Brittany interjected to ease the growing tension.

"Because we're planning for the wedding," Brittany said excitedly.

Rachel clapped, "Finally."

Santana rolled her eyes and gave Quinn a look who also returned a look. They are the only ones who understood about their looks but it made each other calm down, especially Santana. Seeing Quinn approach them earlier, she already knew that Quinn was trying so hard for the sake of granting Brittany's request. This dinner was Brittany's idea.

And Santana thought, that if this was hard for her, it was harder for Quinn. So, she just decided to be all tough like the usual Santana ways but she reminded herself every now and then that she had to keep things civil with Rachel.

Besides, Rachel seemed trying, too.

After their orders came, they started eating. Santana stayed silent and gave short comments about the topic they were talking about but these comments were just composed of very short sentences. She'd rather stay silent than not be able to control herself and say something mean. It would ruin the night. Maybe she was furious but at least she had the decency to respect the beautiful night with her girlfriend and her best friend… and well, some random girl.

Rachel and Brittany were already talking about the flowers to use in the wedding. They seem all excited about it, especially Rachel.

"Roses! Classy and…"

"Boring," Santana commented on Rachel's suggestion.

Like the very eager Rachel Berry, Rachel turned to Santana and started explaining, "But Santana, if you use light-colored garden and spray roses and finish it with a sparkling brooch, it will be perfect."

Quinn watched as Rachel's eyes sparkled at the thought of the flower.

Santana shook her head and Rachel frowned.

"Hmmm... I'm thinking of a combination of blossoms and snapdragons," Brittany said out of the blue. She was looking somewhere else as if thinking very deeply.

Santana nodded in approval, "Didn't expect it, but better that RuPaul's idea."

Brittany gave Santana THAT look and Santana knew she had to stop or else she'll upset Brittany.

Santana sighed, "Okay, Berry. Roses are cool but I hate to be traditional. You only get married once. Of course I will only get married once. And I will hate if my wedding will look like your wedding."

Rachel smiled, "It's still cool."

"How about white gardenias?" Quinn said.

"Oh, hi Q! You're here. I almost thought Quinn Fabray passed away," Santana said sarcastically pin pointing Quinn's almost-complete silence while they were eating.

"I like gardenias. They make me cry," Brittany said totally getting the attention of the other three in the table. They looked puzzled at Brittany's statement.

"I don't know, gardenias look very, very promising," Brittany said randomly as she began pouring a shot of vodka for the four of them.

"Well, if you want to cry a lot at our wedding, then gardenias it is," Santana said drinking her shot.

"We're supposed to cry, right Q? Because I think if there wouldn't be gardenias, San and I will just laugh because we hate being all too formal. So, if we put gardenias, then I will cry and it will look like an actual wedding," Brittany rambled.

The other three just looked and found Brittany adorable with all her explanations. Santana didn't really mind about the details. She just wanted to get married. She let Brittany and Rachel plan about the obvious details.

"By the way, Q," Santana interrupted before the topic came to how many layers the cake will have, "you're the maid of honor."

Quinn nodded in approval, "You didn't have to tell me. I was already planning your bridal shower at the back of my mind."

"And Rachel will sing at the wedding," Brittany declared as Rachel proudly nodded.

This made Santana huff. She rolled her eyes, "Oh my God."

"I will be very honored to sing at your wedding Brittany and Santana. I have never sung in a wedding before but I will do my best to make it really special," Rachel said.

"Any song ideas?" Quinn asked.

Santana laughed, "I'd go for 'My Cup'."

Brittany and Quinn laughed as Rachel looked confused.

"As much as I appreciate B's effort for the song, I don't think it's a very appropriate song for such intimate occasion," Rachel disagreed.

"Rach, it was a joke. Loosen up," Quinn said obviously already little smashed with just a shot.

"You are such a lightweight, Fabray," Santana said as she took Quinn's second shot and drank it for her.

Rachel looked at Quinn and nodded, "Quinn was never the drinking type. I always liked that about her."

Santana raised an eyebrow at Rachel's almost-comfortable comment about Quinn. Rachel didn't seem to notice. She was already hit by her second shot of Bacardi 151 which was 75% alcohol.

This made Santana serve Quinn another shot and with reasons unknown, Quinn swallowed it fast and hard.

Hours have passed and they were already talking about high school and college and all random stuff. It was nearly 11 in the evening when Brittany invited Quinn for a boat ride.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to leave S and Rachel there?" Quinn asked as the boat started to drift across the lake.

"Yes, Q. Of course, it's very much safe. Santana's harmless tonight or else I won't be her date at their university night," Brittany said as she laid her hand in the water, gently playing with it.

After a few seconds of silence, Brittany looked at Quinn who was just staring at the dark part of the lake.

"How you've been Q?" Brittany asked innocently.

"I'm fine. I've been really, really fine," Quinn said avoiding eye contact with Brittany.

"No you're not," Brittany said in her usual tone. Here she is again saying things as if she said it everyday.

"Why'd you ask if you know?" Quinn said a little annoyed. This is the drunk Quinn, the angry drunk. Well, she's not all flushed drunk like Rachel as of the moment but she's quite under the influence.

"I was hoping you'd be honest with me," Brittany answered.

"B, I have learned a lot about being honest with my feelings. The last time I did it…" Quinn sighed.

"Why'd you come back, Q?

Quinn looked at Brittany confused.

"I mean, you can be a publicist of any star in LA. But why'd you have to go here in New York and be Rachel's publicist?" Brittany said expecting for an answer.

"I had to, you know."

"Do you really like torturing yourself like that?"

"Do you know the feeling of wanting to move on but can't?" Quinn said as she leaned her head on Brittany's shoulders. "Every night since she pushed me away, I had wanted to forget her. I had wanted to start over but I can't. And I don't know why," Quinn said as silent tears fell.

Brittany knew she was crying already but didn't acknowledge it. Brittany knew she had to engage Quinn in this conversation, "You know Q. You know it very well."

Quinn didn't answer.

Brittany continued, "You had many unanswered questions that you tried to ignore. It made you depressed that's why you became bulimic. You took it hard on yourself and thought that you weren't good enough."

Quinn nodded. Brittany was right. "I was never enough," Quinn said.

"Then, later on, you realized that it was not on you. Maybe you realized all you did was for the benefit of your relationship, though you never had a real one."

Quinn nodded. Why does it seem that Brittany knows everything?

"You came here for answers, Q."

Quinn's once silent tears turned into silent sobs. Yes, Brittany was right. She came here for answers.

"But why do you have to torture yourself like this? I may seem to speak as if I know a lot of things about the nature of your relationship with Ray but I do not understand. You were always one of the wisest people I know, but why is it when it came to Rachel you always make the wrong decisions?" Brittany knew it was harsh but she had to say it. She had to know what Quinn had to say.

"You know Rachel will never choose you," Brittany said. She wanted to cry with the words she's saying but again, she needed to do this. Neither Quinn, nor Rachel will ever address the situation if no one addressed it for them. And since Santana was on Quinn's side, she felt responsible of breaking it down on them.

Brittany held Quinn's hand and clasped it before she continued, "She was damn scared before her career even started. How scared do you think she is now that it's peaking?"

Quinn sighed. She wanted to just jump out of the boat and drown into the lake.

"So why are you here, Q? Do you really want to make things harder? You can just move on and start a new life in LA. Be a better person and show Rachel that she lost the best thing when she let go of you? Why not do that Quinn?"

"I can't," Quinn's voice trembled. She didn't really wanna confess but the alcohol outsmarted her. "I dated a few guys in college but no one of them made me happy the way she did. Yes, Brittany, I came here hoping to know the answers to my questions. Why did she push me away? Why did she kick me out of her life after everything I did to be a part of it?" Quinn said.

She can't help her tears. It's flowing freely as she sobbed into Brittany's shoulders. Brittany's hand clasped hers tighter.

"Brit, I loved her so," Quinn's voice trembled, "much."

Brittany nodded, "I know."

"I came here because of this little hope that maybe, maybe there's a reasonable explanation to this pain," Quinn said. It's breaking her heart right now.

"Why don't you go ask her? It would cut the chase."

Quinn shook her head, "Do you remember that day we met again? I was all willing to ask her and confront her. But seeing her again, I felt weak."

"Brit, when I saw her again, there's a part of me that was happy because I had her back in my life. There's a part me that was very proud of her because she's getting all the things she wanted even if didn't include… me.

Despite the tears, Quinn continued "I saw her again and suddenly, there's this spark of contentment. She's now a Broadway star and maybe this is what she got by letting me go. Maybe, I was the price to pay to have all of this achieved. She was happy and it's all that matters. Somehow, I got my answers. She wanted this more than she wanted me. Who wouldn't want this?"

Brittany shrugged, "I wouldn't want this more than I want to spend my life with San. I could give up dancing if that would mean carrying our first daughter."

Quinn smiled, "Well, she isn't you."

"You said you got the answers, why aren't you leaving?"

"There's an aspect of my life that only she can fill. And maybe, I could fool myself for just a while if it meant being happy. Just seeing her, Brit, God! It made me happy and contented. For once in my life since she pushed me away, I felt good."

"I hope you're not hoping to get her back."

"No, B," this broke Quinn apart. It's true. She's not hoping anymore. "When I saw her, I just realized I just can't afford not to have her in my life. I just wanted her to be in my life in whatever way possible."

Brittany's tears started to fall. She felt really sorry for Quinn.

"I'm willing to move forward but Rachel has a special place in my heart," Quinn smiled despite the pain she felt.

"I guess you're right. There will always be someone who will come and your life will never be the same."

"I know and Rachel's that person to me. I care about her. And by being around her, I'm doing myself a favor. It's like being nursing an ankle injury. You get into too much pain, and as you live through the pain, you get less threatened and hurt by it. And by the time you're ready, maybe, you'll let go and fully heal."

Brittany smiled and nodded.

"If there's one thing I have learned from Beth, Finn, my father and Rachel… the only way to deal with pain is to deal with it face to face."

Brittany let go of Quinn's hand and wrapped her arms around Quinn as they remain seated.

"I'm tired of running away, Brit."

"I'm proud of you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled.

Brittany then broke the contact and faced Quinn. She used her index finger to lift Quinn's chin up so their eyes met, "Promise me one thing?"

Quinn nodded.

"By the time you're ready, please, step out of Rachel's shadow and go find a life apart from her."

Quinn didn't know but Brittany's sincerity surprised her.

"You told me you aren't playing the hope card anymore and it's just enough for you to just have her in your life and you're contented even if you're not together. If it's all true, then you'd be happy to be just part of the awesome fearsome four. Let the couple part to me and Santana. Be BFFs with Rachel and… be happy with someone else."

"Promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"In the name of Lord Tubbington?"

"In the name of Lord Tubbington."

Both of them smiled as they hugged each other.

"You know what Q. If San and I weren't in love with each other, I swear I'd fall in love with you," Brittany smilingly said.

Quinn just smiled.

"But that would totally be hard because if San and I weren't in love, she would be in love with you too," Brittany said almost laughing.

Quinn almost laughed, too, "That would be creepy."

"Yeah, creepy."

Both of them laughed.

"Q, you deserve someone better. Someone, who will always choose you no matter what the cost."

"Please stop making me cry, B," Quinn smiled and pleaded.

"When did you become so strong, Quinn Fabray?"

"And when did you become so full of words of wisdom, Brittany Pierce?"

o-o-o-o-o

Back at the docks, while Brittany and Quinn were out, Santana tried to ignore drunk Rachel.

She gave Brittany the you'll-gonna-pay-for-this-later look before the two blondes went boating. She didn't want to be let alone with Rachel, especially not with the drunk one.

"You know Santana," Rachel said as she drunkenly swallowed her umpteenth shot of Bacardi 151,"since I kicked Quinn out, I always left the light in the living room open."

Santana raised an eyebrow. Of course, Rachel doesn't know what she was saying but one thing Santana learned about the diva is that she always spoke of the truth when she's drunk. And even if Santana didn't care, what Rachel said was still interesting information.

"And why is that?" Santana asked leaning back to her chair. She isn't taking her shots anymore; instead, she gave them all to Rachel.

"I was hoping she'd try again," Rachel replied as tears welled her eyes, "and maybe if she saw the lights open, she'd know I'm just inside the house."

The confession made Santana angry. She thought, "What a bitch! After all she did to Q, she expected her to come back for her. From what planet is this girl from?" But the Latina didn't say it out loud because it wouldn't matter since Rachel won't even remember.

"I even left the key under the doormat, just in case she came and I was at the theater or something," Rachel continued.

Santana just stared at her.

"Santana Lopez can I ask you something?

"Mmmmm-kay."

"Do you hate me?"

"A lot."

"I can see that."

"Why'd you even ask?"

"Just to confirm," Rachel said trying to look straight at Santana but failed miserably because she can't even hold her head steady. She continued, "You know, S. I know where you're coming from."

Santana shrugged.

"But…" now, even her words are alcohol-influenced. "You ha-have ta' knoooow, I didn't mean to."

Santana's thin patience is… well… thinner now,"You still did it. That's the whole fucking point."

"I had huge dreams!" Rachel said raising her voice. Santana's reflex responded immediately as she straightened up. "Fuck Santana, we were 18!" Rachel was now yelling at Santana.

The eff? Did she just say fuck? Oh my God. "It's not like she proposed, Berry!"

"I loved her."

"It doesn't matter anymore!"

At that, Rachel stood immediately. The chair she was sitting at flew a few meters away. She held her shot glass on one hand as she rose the other asking for the attention of everyone who was also dining with them.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Rachel declared. "I don't know if you know me, but I…" Rachel said as she walked towards the middle of the huge space.

Everyone was looking at her now. Some are already taking pictures of the very, very wasted and wobbly Broadway star.

Santana made no effort of stopping her. Instead, she slouched a little lower on her seat as if hiding herself, as she covered her mouth with the hand that was resting on the arm rest. She can't help but laugh and though she kept her laugh discreet, it was pretty obvious because her eyes were definitely playful and her shoulders were moving due to constant laughter.

"I am Rachel Berry! I am a famous Broadway star and I, fell in love once in my life. And I let it go!" Rachel announced. One of the people in there already taped the scene.

"Cheers to all the people that have loved and lost!" Rachel said as she drunk her shot straight.

Some very few people raised their glasses with her.

"Cheers to the people who decided to choose…" Rachel flushed her huge drunk grin, "their dreams over love."

Fewer people raised their glasses.

Then there was silence – at least on Rachel's part. Others continued with their businesses, some still eyed Rachel who seemed to be passing out anytime soon. Santana, well… her laughter died down, but only burst once again when she saw Rachel almost jump to the song that played softly on the docks' speakers.

"Oh! I know that song!"

A known Taylor Swift song then began owning the place as everyone tried to recognize what Rachel was talking about.

I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while.

Rachel nodded along with the lyrics. "Oh how I loved Judy," she mumbled to herself.

She nodded even more with the next lyrics. You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why.

And then, to complete Santana's entertainment, Rachel began singing: in a very, very drunk Rachel Berry voice. You know… the "off-pitched, almost reciting the song as if it was a poem" kind of Berry voice. To top it off, Rachel acted as if she was holding a microphone.

Santana laughed, but still discreetly.

Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

As the chorus began, Rachel's tears already blurred her vision. Yes, she was drunk and she was supposed to feel nothing. But no, she feels something and it fuckin' hurts. It hurt so much she just wanted to let it out no matter who was watching.

Rachel sang the chorus as if she was just another hopeless Taylor Swift fan. And this is the part that Santana stopped laughing.

Yes, she was mad at Rachel but she knew and she was very sure at that moment that Rachel was hurting. She was about to stand up when she saw Quinn and Brittany boarding off the boat.

Both of their eyes grew wide at the sight of Rachel; and Brittany instantly turned to her with the what-the-fuck look.

Santana defended herself with an I-don't-know shrug.

Much to the trio's horror, Rachel turned to Quinn and sang the second verse. These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call.

Quinn shook her head and with all the professionalism she had in her, she walked towards Rachel and practically dragged the diva back to the table as Brittany said constant I'm sorry's to the other customers.

In all honesty, Quinn was damned pissed but she didn't know why.

She hated seeing Rachel this way. This isn't her Rachel. And now she's even more pissed that she isn't her Rachel. This, drunk Broadway diva, is the very reason why she isn't hers anymore. She's changed, a lot.

"Santana? What the hell?" Quinn said as she practically pushed Rachel back down her seat. She's damned furious.

Rachel kept singing the unknown lyrics while her head swayed side to side much to her friends' disgust.

"Rachel stop it," Quinn said steadying Rachel's head.

Rachel kept doing it and practically banged her head and sang out loud when the chorus approached.

"Rachel, stop," Quinn was growing impatient already.

Brittany stood silently looking all disappointed at Santana.

"What? It's not my fault, I can't stop her," Santana said shrugging trying her very best to control her once again growing laughter.

"Rachel!" Quinn yelled so impatiently that the diva was sent into complete silence.

Silence enveloped the three of them. I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile. So good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night…

Rachel's tears suddenly fell. Her body is shaking at the thought of how she missed Quinn.

"I'm taking her home," Brittany said trying to lift Rachel up.

Maybe this is wishful thinking…

Rachel stood up in an instant, not needing help from Brittany. Rachel turned to the former head Cheerio, her eyes all teary, her body all wobbly; and heart broke at the words she almost whispered:

"If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."

Quinn and Rachel just looked into each others eyes as Taylor Swift faded into background. I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.

This is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.

Well, obviously, I used a song to actually express Rachel's feelings. We all know Ray-Ray. She expresses herself best with a song, even with a Taylor Swift song. LOL I bet most of you know about the song, so… *shrug* (And may I just say, I loved Santana in this. LOL. Sorry.)

For the next chapter: Phoebe, Rachel… Phoebe + Quinn = Jealous Rachel. Jealousy + Rachel Berry = Plots against the target. Who's Phoebe to Quinn by the way?