When we get back to Karkat's house I start wondering what I am going to do there. When do I get to see Meulin? When will she be ok again? When will I be ok to go home? I mean, I can go home whenever I want really, I just can't face it. Not alone. I barley made it so calm today, if it wasn't for Karkat I would have ended up dropping to my knees and crying. I'm glad he was the one who called. He is helping me, making me feel like it might be ok after all. It feels like my world is ending right now, and I don't want to have to face that. But I don't feel like I'm alone anymore. But I still feel like it's my fault. Like I could have done better. If I had put my fighting into use I might have beat him. But I just froze. Why did that happen? Was my mind messing with me? Was there some sort of past memory coming up? I can't really tell. I just hope it will all be ok. Really be ok.
I'm sitting on his bed next to him, he has his left leg up on it and his right in hanging off.
He also has his computer on his lap but I'm not sure what he is doing. I don't really care right now, I am too lost in thought. I am laying back just as much as he is but my legs are tucked up. If I sat up straight I could be hugging them but he and I both are leaning against the wall behind the head of the bed. I have my headphones in and I have already zoned everything he could be doing out. My phone is in my pocket so if I get a call it will vibrate and hopefully be louder then my music.
Most of it is my own singing, I like listening to it to remember how I felt in the past. they tell me stories, even though to everyone else it is just singing. To me it is my past. There are lots of songs and I can hear my voice improve as I get older. I hope that in a few years I can sound like a real singer. Art is my calling and my passion, along with shipping of course, but if I'm gonna listen to my voice like I do, I don't want to hurt my head. I don't sound bad or anything I don't think, but the only song that came out smooth was the one I sang for Equius before moving. The others are nice I guess but they sound a little shaky I guess. I don't know how to explain. It kind of just is.
He elbows my arm to get my attention. I take out the headphones and he points to the door. I didn't even hear Kankri getting here. "Oh, hi Kancritter." I say. "Hello, I wont be here for long. But I wanted to know if you would like to see Meulin tonight?" He asks. I take in a deep and very fast breath. "Yes." I nod. "Alright. When I get back from school we can go to the hospital." He replies and closes the door behind him as he leaves. "You gonna be ok?" Karkat asks.
"Yeah. I need to see her." I answer. I turn to my head to look at him, his head is already turned to me and by me turning mine to look at him our noses brush against each others. We both blush a bit, me more then him I think. I can't really tell since there isn't a mirror in here. We both turn away quickly almost at the exact same second. I feel so embarrassed right now it isn't even funny. My phone starts ringing, thank god because the silence was getting very very awkward.
"NEPETA!" 3 voices scream into the phone before I can even say hello.
I hold the phone away as they all begin freaking out loudly, it is so loud Karkat can easily hear it.
"Calm down calm down! What are you saying? I can't hear you when you all talk at once." I cut them off. "Nepeta who is the bitch that attacked you?!" Vriska asks. "Vriskers? Hi. I'm guessing Fefurry and Furezi are with you?" I reply. "Answer me!" She yells. "Calm down. Everything is fine, really. I'm ok now, and Meulin is in the hospital recovering to my knowledge." I explain.
"Where even are you?!" Feferi takes the phone from Vriska. "I'm staying with Karkitty for a few days. I don't know how long though, I don't want to be home yet." I answer. I hear some giggles fly around before Terezi cuts them off. "Are you sure your ok though? When we heard what happened it scared the fuck out of everyone." She exclaims. "I'm sure, don't worry. Wait. How did you hear about it anyway?" I ask. "Do you really think I can know Karkles for all these years and not have Kankri's number? Karkles wouldn't answer so I called him and he was in a panic. Took forever before he would explain." She explains. "So are you sure your ok? He made it sound really bad." She asks. "I'm sure. You really shouldn't worry so much." I reply.
"It's just, we remember what you said on spring break. So if your lying-" Feferi jumps in.
"I'm not lying. I'm really ok. I'm gonna go see Meulin in a little bit. I'll see you guys at school." Nepeta says, not only cutting off Feferi but hanging up swiftly after finishing her sentence. I look at her with confusion and wait for her to explain herself. She keeps looking straight ahead for a minute before looking at me. "Sorry." She says.
"Really? That's what you think you need to say? You don't have to apologize. You do need to explain though. Why would you lie to them after knowing they would be able to comfort you?" I ask.
"It's complicated.. I know they wont judge me for being scared or upset. I'm just in the habit of turning people away still. I've gotten better since I moved here. Meulin doesn't have to get to me to talk, I just do now." She answers. "Well.. I guess that's fine and all but if your working on it you should start by telling your friends." I reply. "Yeah.. Later. I just want to be happy right now." She says. "Ok." I reply and we both get back to what we were doing before.
== Be Meulin
The room is long sideways, and very white. I lay in the hospital bed with bandages around my ears.
I wish they would remove the bandages so I could hear. Everything is silent to me right now.
I could remember the night clearly if I wanted to, but I don't want to think about it. All I want is to know that Nepeta is ok. I blacked out after a bit and I have no idea what happened.
I close my eyes and yawn. At this point my shoulder is being shook by Kurloz.
He has a worried look on his face. I smile at him and sit up, I say hello of course. I hope its coming out right, like I said. I can't hear. He expression drops even further and he starts signing.
"I'm glad your ok." He begins. He taught me some basic signing already so I do my best to reply with it. "Thanks!" I reply. "Did they.. Show you your chart?" He asks, avoiding eye contact.
"No. Why?" I ask in reply. "Well. Do you want to know? They said I could tell you." He says.
"Of course I want to know! Is something wrong with me?!" I ask. He shakes his head and looks down. I put my hand on top of his with worried eyes. "Your deaf." He signs. I stare at him with wide eyes. He has to be joking.. He has to be.. No.. Oh my god.. This isn't something you joke about. I know that. I'm... I'm deaf.. I cover my mouth and silently start crying. I guess I can't tell if I'm silent or not though. I have a straight face and wide, watery eyes.
Kurloz's mouth cracks open like he wants to say something, of course he doesn't. But he doesn't even lift a hand to sign. He does however rush into a hug, petting the back of my head. I'm really glad he is the one telling me. Although I thought I liked someone else... I completely forget about him when I'm with Kurloz. It's so nice to have him here with me. I really am a hopeless romantic, so being with someone like this makes my heart sore. And not only is he the one here, he is the first one here. I would be wondering why Nepeta isn't here yet, but knowing her friends, she is probably stuck at home with them worrying over her. She may never admit how scared she is, or how she flipped out last night. But it's ok, because I know. I just hope she is with them and not in a room here...
Kurloz lets go and kisses my forehead. I wipe my eyes and smile at him. I don't think I'm crying anymore... Oh my god I like him! I really do like him! I thought I might but this is the conformation I needed! Eeeeee!
I smile even bigger as I realize this, I think I'm confusing him though. But that's ok! It only needs to make sense to me. The door suddenly bursts open with Latula leading the march of my friends.
I am soon wrapped up in one big group hug. When it breaks apart I watch their mouths moving, I guess they don't know. Kurloz has a look on his face like 'What is wrong with you all?' and it's sweet he is thinking that. He quickly signs to me while they start arguing with each other and trying to talk to me. "Should I tell them now?" He asks. I smile calmly and nod.
None of them can read signs very well but since Kurloz has been hanging out with us all more I think they have the basics. At least most of them do. He claps over his head, it must have been loud because they all shut up and look at him. He signs and only a few nod with real understanding.
I can tell they don't really get it, so I open my mouth and try speaking. I don't know how it sounds.
I think they get it though. Kurloz look at me like he's sorry for me having to speak up and everyone else is just in shock. I smile at them to show I'm ok and I see a flash of guilt wipe through the group. I wish I knew what they were saying...
I can't tell if I'm ok with this or not. I mean, I feel fine but at the same time it feels sooooo weird.
Not hearing... I can never hear anything ever again... This is kind of freaky...
Suddenly Kankri walks though the door with Nepeta and Karkat behind him. My face lights up when I see them. I see Nepeta's mouth open like she says something and everyone takes a step or two back while she jumps onto the bed and clings to me. I hug her back just as tightly and sigh with relief.
She pulls back and I wipe her teary eyes before she starts crying. I'm ok with it but she always feels bad when crying around other people. She smiles and starts talking, Kurloz puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Behind her I can see Kankri talking with Meenah and Latula, they are probably explaining everything. Not that there is anything to explain besides the fact I can't hear.
Nepeta pauses and looks at Kurloz, then at Kankri, listening to whatever he is saying.
Her eyes water more and she looks at me, I don't even let her try to speak and just hug her again.
I feel her shake a little, trying not to cry I bet. Or she is giving in and is actually crying. I wish I could hear her. I really really want to hear her voice...
I feel my self tearing up and soon I start to cry softly. I guess she is hearing that because she pulls back a little and we just stare at each other. I know everyone else is watching but I really don't care right now. We just stare, and then we starts laughing. We just burst into laughter and tears. Don't ask why we are laughing at the same time. It's just what we do. I think we're laughing at each others crying face. We continue to laugh and cry for who knows how long before calming down and smiling at each other. I look around the room, seeing my friend's smiling faces. A few of them are tearing up at the sight of us. I feel so loved. So many people are here. Back home the only one that would have come is Nepeta. This is just so nice. I feel at home more then ever with these people.
I smile at them and they smile back. I suddenly get a blast of an idea. Karkat came here with Nepeta and she only showed up when Kankri did. She is staying with them!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
MOG MOG MOG! She is staying with Karkat!
She paps me and I stop and open my eyes. Shit I was squealing out loud. Karkat has a raised eyebrow, but I just stare at him with a big grin. This is purrrrrrrrrrrfect!
I quickly turn to Kurloz and start signing. "Keep an eye on Nepeta and Karkat fur me! MOG! My shipper instincts are going nuts here! MOG MOG MOG eeeeeeee!" He looks shocked.
I don't even know how I signed that fast. I just, did, I guess. Maybe my memory is better then I thought! He just nods and looks at them, then at me. I keep changing my gaze from him to Karkat to Nepeta and back again. I see everyone starting to laugh a bit and we all break into laughter. This is amazing! I feel like everything is perfect now! I sigh and lay back. I'm tired now. So many feels just bounced through me within 5 minutes or less. So crazy. I close my eyes and stretch my arms out above my head. When I open my eyes I see their calm faces and I smile even more. Karkat puts a hand on Nepeta's shoulder and says something, whatever it is she climbs off the bed and gives me one final hug before bouncing over to Karkat and leaving. He waves at me and I wave back, Kankri does the same and follows them out. I close my eyes and sigh lightly. I crack my eyes back open and I see everyone waving goodbye and exiting. I wave back and smile of course. However Kurloz waits until most of them are out of the room before kissing my forehead and leaving as well. I soon drift off into more sleep.
((Ok so it wont be relevant for 3 or 4 more chapters but since I am trying to write as many as possible at once I would like to get opinions here. I have an idea for a certain chapter that may start Kankri actually getting a relationship. I don't know how long that will take but none the less.
Only problem is that I have two different roads for it to go down. He could be with either Meenah or Cronus. Therefore since I can't decide between to two I would like any of you people to let me know. The ship with more votes will happen so please speak up. And don't say "whichever is easier for you to write" because I have many ideas for both and there isn't one that's easier or better than the other. Sorry this took up so much of your time but this will be a huge effect in the story. Thank you all!))