Remember that time I didn't update for four months and you all decided to be gorgeous dolls and forgive me? Oh, wait, that's happening now? Must've been time-traveling again.

I really am sorry, just...life, man. Life.

And by life I mean tumblr - isn't that the same thing?

Alright, so, here's the dill, pickle - I'm mainly updating because I felt inspired to write by the HUGE J.K ROWLING NEWS! HOW AWESOME IS THIS, HUH?! Join me on tumblr to squeal about it, won't you?

Also, wow, this is really lovey-dovey, I don't know what happened.

Disclaimer: Awkward, I didn't actually put a real disclaimer in the last update. But I don't own Harry Potter or anything mentioned here. Wow, that was the Worst. Disclaimer. Ever.

Remus has a Look that won't quit.

Setting: towards the end of seventh year, the boys' dormitory, where they're apparently pigging out on sweets and probably painting each other's nails

"It's the perfect proposal!"

"Yeah - if you want her to say no and break up with you."

James flicked his wand and sent several Cauldron Cakes flying at Sirius' face. "Shut it, I'm being completely honest here! What, is it the part with the woodland sprites?"

From his place on the floor, his favorite book open on his lap but going largely ignored, Remus snorted and replied, "As ridiculous as the idea of sprites showering Lily with flowers is - and it is, mate - it's not as idiotic as having a niffler present the ring to her. A niffler, Prongs. It'd sooner sit your N.E.W.T.s."

"But - we've already taken our N.E.W.T.s," Peter pointed out, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Yes. That is exactly what you should take away from everything I just said."

In an effort to dodge the flying sweets, Sirius dove onto Remus' bed and flipped onto his back, scooting his body until his head was hanging over the edge right next to Remus'. "Whatcha doing, Moons?" he asked innocently.

"No, get your face away from me, Pads, I'm reading," Remus said, gently shoving his boyfriend's head to the side. "You know the rules."

"What's wrong with my face? Last time I checked-"

Across the room, James snorted. "Five minutes ago."

"-as I was saying, last time I checked, my face was a gift upon all of Wizarding kind. Why don't you love my face anymore, Moony?"

"Because it's keeping me from my book, so shove off."

"Your book's been on your lap for the past fifteen minutes!"

"Yes, because Prongs is being an idiot, and it's my job to convince him he's being an idiot, so that Lily doesn't know he's still an idiot, so that she doesn't dump him for being an idiot."

James opened his mouth to protest, considered it, then shrugged. "Alright, so - if you were proposing to Lily - and you better not be planning on it - how would you ask her?"

Remus gave him a Look. "Oh come on - alright," James amended, "what if you were proposing to Sirius, then?"

"That's not going to happen," Remus dismissed airily.

Sirius, upon hearing this, promptly rolled off the bed and hit his head on Remus' trunk.

"Really?" Peter asked incredulously as Sirius, cursing and clutching his temple, writhed in pain on the floor. "That's a bit harsh, Moony. I mean, he's right there."

"What - oh for the love of - that's not what I meant!" Rolling his eyes, Remus reached out and yanked Sirius' hand away to inspect the ouchie. "You'll have a right nice bump, but you'll live," he diagnosed.

Sirius sat up, scowling and resisting the urge to rub at his newly acquired injury, knowing it would just earn him a Look from his boyfriend. His ungrateful, unromantic, totally-not-the-best-boyfriend-ever boyfriend. "Actual worst boyfriend ever," he grumbled.

Remus gave him a Look anyway - damnit - and scoffed. "Stop it with the whipped-puppy face," he ordered, just barely resisting the urge to swat him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Of course, he would need a newspaper for that… "What I meant was that proposing to you would be superfluous anyway - perhaps you've forgotten the laws? Same-sex couples can't marry."

Visions of Lily wearing various wedding ceremony robes (would anyone question it if she wore white?) were flashing through his head, but at Remus' words, James abruptly swung about to stare incredulously. "Wait, so you two can't marry ever? I mean, not sure why you'd want to saddle yourself to this prat for the rest of your life-"

"Oi!"

"-but to not even have the option? That's just…incredibly sad."

Remus only shrugged and tried to smile, though it came off as more of a grimace. "That's just how it is. Add onto that werewolf laws and stereotyping and such bunk, and it's pretty much hopeless."

An air of melancholy enveloped the room and no one said anything for several moments, lost in their own thoughts. Then, ignoring his injury for the moment, Sirius scooted closer to his boyfriend and laid his head on Remus' shoulder. "People are dicks," was his contribution to the conversation, and Remus rolled his eyes but didn't argue.

James still wore an expression of righteous fury, and he opened his mouth, probably to continue ranting about the failings of Wizard kind, but instead changed the subject when he saw the look on Sirius' face. "Right. Well, okay, then if you were asking Sirius to, I dunno, be your life partner or something - is that a thing? - how would you go about it? I mean, we all know how Sirius would ask, with-"

"Chocolate," they all chorused in unison.

"Well, Moony is a lot better at this romance stuff than you, thankfully," Peter interjected, flushing when James swung around to glare at the slight.

"Hmm…" Remus mulled this over for a long moment, with Sirius nuzzling into his shoulder and making barely intelligible noises of contentment. Finally, he cleared his throat and sat up a bit straighter, jostling Sirius' head so much that he finally grunted and slumped back against the four-poster. "Right. I suppose that first I would, er, ask his parents for permission-"

His boyfriend snorted. "Yeah, that'd go over well with Walburga, I'm sure."

Remus sent him an exasperated look and said, "I was speaking of the Potters, actually."

James' parents had found them out that summer - it was somewhat difficult to miss when Remus had turned up in their fireplace for an extended stay, and Sirius had immediately thrown himself forward, climbed him like a tree, and snogged him until Peter tried to Floo in and ended up toppling the three of them to the floor. Oddly enough, the Potters had been more upset by the soot covering their living room carpet than by the display of boy love that had preceded the incident. (In fact, they'd seemed pleased later on, and Mrs. Potter had taken to giving Remus extra helpings at dinner and mother-henning him more so than usual - also, there'd been the awkward conversation between Sirius and Mr. Potter that was now referred to as That Thing That Never Happened, Stop Bringing It Up.)

"Oh." Sirius' cheeks darkened in a blush, and Remus smiled and affectionately retorted, "Git."

"Yes, you're both idiots in love, we get it, continue, please," James grumbled.

"Keep your pants on." Finally looking away from Sirius and focusing on his book, Remus paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, then repeated, "I'd ask his parents - the Potters - for permission, and I'd plan to ask him on the twelfth of April-"

"Why then?" Peter asked.

"Well, it's the anniversary of our first kiss, isn't it? I'd probably spend days - weeks, maybe - writing out the perfect proposal, and would promptly forget every word when we were face to face, because that actually tends to happen a lot." He laughed nervously. "Um, I'd do it somewhere on the grounds, maybe by the lake, or next to that tree where we - right, never mind, too much information, quit with the face, Prongs - and then…I'd just ask him."

There was silence for a long moment, the others waiting expectantly for the rest, but when Remus did nothing but quirk an eyebrow, James questioned, "Er, that's it? Nothing special, no sprites, no niffler, no fireworks or fanfare?"

Remus glanced sideways at his boyfriend and smiled. "We don't really need all that, do we, darling?" he asked, reaching for Sirius' hand and pulling it onto his leg, firmly ensconced in his. To James, he said, "I love him, and he loves me. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than with him. Who needs fireworks and fanfare? What we have is already special."

A lump of emotion settled in Sirius' throat and he swallowed around it, blinking rapidly to dispel the embarrassing tears welling in his eyes. "That sounds perfect," he finally managed, after clearing his throat and surreptitiously swiping at the stupid tear that somehow made it past his defenses to roll down his cheek.

Peter made a suitably distressed noise at the amount of sugary love floating in the air around them, but James just grinned dopily, watching his two best friends, who were looking at each other the way he himself looked at Lily, and really isn't that all he could ask for anyone? To feel that love, that hot, gooey, rot-your-teeth-in-your-skull kind of love that made your stomach flip flop and made other people roll their eyes in disgust? "I really love you guys right now," he told them happily. "I'm just really in love with your love."

"Oh Merlin, I'm going to be sick!" Peter groaned, actually staggering to his feet and running towards their bathroom, retching all the way.

"Don't mind him, he's just upset because no one feels that way about him," Sirius said dismissively, still holding Remus' hand and beaming with joy. "Now, is that all, mate, or…?"

"Yeah, I think I've got the perfect, uncomplicated proposal just above planned out…"

They should've known then to question the suspicious glint in James' eye, but chose to ignore him and make out on Sirius' bed instead. Which is probably why Lily ended up hexing James the next morning at breakfast when he asked her to marry him in the same breath he asked her to pass the sausages.

What? I did say it was going to be ridiculously schmoopy and fluffy. I don't know what came over me. I blame the Nargles.

OH! Also, since my writing funk doesn't appear to be going away any time soon, I'm going to mark this collection as Complete - but I will continue to update whenever I can! Hopefully this will push me to finish one of my actual chaptered fics and post it - we shall see. I love you all, kisses, mwah!