Chapter 25

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how"

Spot and I arrived at the small restaurant, which completely reminded me of Tibby's, and I was literally shaking in my boots. My stomach churned uneasily as I followed Spot to a small booth in the farthest corner from the door. He sat down and waited for me to take my seat across from him. Nervously, I lowered myself and scooched closest to the wall as possible. Under the table, my hands trembled slightly.

"So like I said before, I have somethin' I want to talk to you about." Spot paused as he tried to meet my darting eyes. "A couple things actually,"

I nodded and cleared my throat tensely. "Shoot,"

"Well-" Spot began, but suddenly a middle-aged waiter appeared in front of us as if from nowhere.

He walked up to our table with a friendly smile on his face. "Hello, my name is John; I will be your waiter today. Is there something I can start for you, ma'am?" The man waited patiently for my response.

"Just a cup of coffee, please." I said, forcing a fake smile.

"And for you, Spot?" the man said, his tone still formal.

Of course he knew Spot, I had to remind myself, I'm in Brooklyn. "Nothing for me, thanks John." Spot gave a sincere smile.

John grinned at us. "Be right back with your coffee, miss."

I smiled back at him, but my expression quickly faded as I turned back to Spot who was staring at me with his wide cold cyan eyes. "So?" I asked once he didn't say anything. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Spot's eyes quickly darted away from mine. He looked around the near empty restaurant, he seemed hesitant, and that scared me. He cleared his throat and slowly brought his eyes to meet my anxious expression. "It's about your nightmares… and Queens." He sighed, and paused. I waited impatiently. "Have you had any other dreams?"

I was opened my mouth to speak but from the corner of my eye I saw John making his way over to our table. Thank the Lord, he was holding my cup of steaming coffee in his hand.

"Here you are, miss." He said setting down the deliciously fragrant cup of coffee and a small glass pitcher of cream and dish of sugar.

His warm smile was infectious, causing me to smile politely back at him. "Thank you." I said quietly, while breathing in the warm smell of the French roast.

"You're welcome, miss. Let me know if there is anything else I can get for you two." The waiter said before walking back to the kitchen.

I took a sip cautiously, testing the temperature. "I haven't."

Spot sighed and looked down at the table. "I'm a little worried about this, Riley."

"About what?" I asked suddenly worried.

"About you bein' here." he said slowly, looking into my eyes. "I know you've only been here a day, but I don't think this is right."

My heart suddenly sank as I sat back against the booth seat. "W-why?" I said, almost feeling rejected. I pleaded pathetically. "I feel like I might be able to help."

Spot gave me a torn look. "Riley, it's not that I don't think you'd do everything in your power to stop the dreams from happenin'." He said quietly. My eyes widened, shoulders dropped. "I don't know exactly… how much of a help you can be." Spot looked apologetically at me.

I leaned towards Spot and spoke quickly. "Spot, I've told you about my nightmares. In my dreams I've watched us die! You can't say that's not important, or abnormal in any way. Look, I believe this is going to happen." I looked down. "And I thought you believed me." I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice.

"Riley," Spot said remorsefully.

"No, Spot. It's fine. I get it." I said pinching the bridge of my nose. "Don't worry about it. I must be a burden to you, and I'll just leave." I took a sip of my coffee quickly and stood up.

"No, Riley." Spot said firmly, grabbing my arm stopping me from walking away. "Sit down." Spot spoke in serious voice as he gave me stern look.

I rolled my eyes and sat back down, pulling away from his touch.

"Riley," Spot began, speaking quieter. "It's not that I want you to leave, trust me, I really like havin' you here, I'm just not sure why you have to be here. I understand that your dreams may be helpful to the whole Queens situation since you think they're somehow related, but I don't see what the difference is where you are when they happen. And, if you don't absolutely need to be in Brooklyn then you shouldn't be here." Spot followed my eyes until I looked up at him. "And not because I don't want you here. It's because if anythin' happened to you, especially on Brooklyn grounds, I'd never forgive myself." I sighed, taking another sip of coffee. "We are at war here Riley; it isn't safe for you, for anyone."

"Can I talk, please?" I said somewhat rudely. "Look Spot, I understand that you are worried about me but I'm a big girl. I understand that Queens is big and scary but to be quite honest, I'm more worried about my nightmare. I saw us die and I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen. And, if you don't want me in Brooklyn, I'll find somewhere else to stay. There is nothing you can do to make me leave. I don't care if you are the fucking King of Brooklyn. I'm going to stay right here in this borough and there isn't anything you can say or do to stop me." I said defiantly, watching Spot's blank face.

"Fine," Spot said quietly. I was shocked that he wasn't screaming at me already. "You can stay at the lodging house, but I'm warnin' you it's not safe. I'm getting' death threats Riley, death threats." And I don't think you bein' in Brooklyn is going to help you find the answers to your nightmares, I thinks it's only goin' to make things worse. Plus, I can see you miss Manhattan. I see it in your eyes, Riley." I looked away from him, feeling embarrassment for my homesickness. Spot continued, "I don't understand why
you'd come here if you think your dream takes place in Brooklyn, you're setting yourself up to be killed by whoever this man is in your dream."

I had already given this thought before I came to Brooklyn. It would be safer to stay in Manhattan, but I need to end this. I wasn't going to cower behind anyone anymore, I myself was going to take action and take care of myself for once. "Spot, please, I need to do this."

"Need to do what?" he was growing more frustrated. "Are you plannin' on killin' him, huh? You don't even know this guy, you don't even know if he actually exists! Not to mention you don't have a gun or a knife or anythin'? How is a seventeen year-old girl who isn't even over one-hundred and ten pounds goin' to kill a grown man?"

I gave him a stern look. "I don't know. I'll buy a knife or something." I said but Spot rolled his eyes.

"No Riley, that is not a smart idea, you'd just be givin' him a good excuse to cut you to ribbons." Spot said as if I was an invalid.

I tried to ignore him. "Look, there is something clearly different between my nightmare and what would really happen if I found this guy."

"What?" Spot asked in a monotone.

"I already know what he is going do." I spoke slowly. "I know that he's going to chase me, find me, and pull out a knife. What he doesn't know, is that I'll be expecting that." I took another sip of coffee. "Plus, you'd be there." I said in a hushed voice.

Spot's eyes widened and he took a deep breath. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that, that I was in your nightmares too." he looked up at me. "How are we supposed to stop this from happenin', Riley?" Spot sounded the closest to scared I'd ever heard him be.

I gave him a half-smile. "We wait for more information, more dreams." I tried to lighten the mood. "And I'll try to avoid dark alleys, but I can't make any promises."

Spot forced a half-smiled and shook his head at me. "This isn't really somethin' we should be laughin' about." He said covering his face to hide a smile.

I reached over across the table and pulled his hand from his face. "Come on Spot, you know it was funny." I smiled into his eyes.

He laughed and gave me a 'yup, she really is crazy' look. "You want any more coffee?" he asked, pointing to my empty cup.

"No, I'm good." I said contently.

"You ready to go?" Spot asked.

"Sure," I said getting up from the table, Spot got up too.

We walked towards the door and Spot got the attention of our waiter John. "Put that on my tab, will ya John?"

"Yessir, Spot. Have a nice day." He called to us as he headed out the door.

Spot and I thanked him and walked outside into the breezy day. I clutched my arms around my body, trying to keep warm. We walked quickly, as I struggled to keep up with Spot's long strides. The streets had become more vacant as the weather worsened, and I could tell that it was going to rain soon. I suddenly remembered something. "Spot?" I asked as the wind blew my hair around my face. Spot looked up at me. "You said that there were a couple things you wanted to talk to me about and you only got to one."

He shot me a quick almost nervous look before lowering his eyes to the ground. "Oh… it's nothin', really."

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Come on Spot, tell me." I picked up my speed and caught up to him, keeping with his pace.

"No," he retorted stubbornly. He kept his quick pace as I half-ran next to him trying to keep up.

"Why?" I asked frustrated.

Spot sighed and shot a quick glance in my direction. "Because you won't like what I have to say."

"Just tell me, Spot." I said beginning to get irritated. I raised my eyebrows at him expectantly.

He caught my look and held up his hands forfeiting. We both stopped walking and stayed under the eave of the rooftop from a closed floral shop. "Fine," he said surrendering to my questioning. "You really want to know?"

I nodded in agreement.

"It's about you and Match." Spot said nodding at my shocked expression. "Look, I'm sick an' tired of seein' you two sneakin' around and bein' all public with each other."

I opened my mouth to defend myself but Spot kept on his rant.

"Ya know," Spot said laughing a humorless laugh. "You are just so immature. First, you start datin' some guy you barely know. Then, you kiss me!" Spot laughed again. "Yeah that's right, the kiss on the bridge. Remember that? Out of nowhere you kiss me! And to make things even shittier, right after you kissed me you tell me to forget it ever happened!" Spot scoffed angrily. "Make up your goddam mind Riley." Spot looked at me with a cold expression; his hard eyes were scrutinizing the look of hurt that had swept over my face. "That's right; I knew you wouldn't like what I had to say."

I didn't need this. I've had enough going on in my life, and I don't need Spot Conlon bitching about my life to me. I was done, so I turned to head back to the lodging house.

"Don't walk away from me Riley." Spot demanded as he pulled me by my arm and shoved me against the brick wall behind us roughly. I gasped loudly, mostly out of surprise, as Spot kept his hand on my chest holding me tightly against the wall. I would have been much angrier if he had hurt me, but lucky for him he didn't have to use much force to push me back.

"Spot Conlon get your hand off of me, now." I growled in a hushed voice.

Spot's eyes were burning into mine. "No. Look, I've been givin' you a much easier time around here than I would anyone else, but you're startin' to get too comfortable here." Spot's icy cold glare was so intense that I tried my hardest to look away, but I couldn't. "And don't talk to me like that again, Riley, okay? I don't like havin' to be strict with you but I will if I have to."

"What is your problem with Match and me, Spot?" I asked, crossing my arms tightly around my chest.

"My problem is that you two can't seem to get your hands off of each other, especially whenever I'm around." Spot said with full irritation in his tone. "No actually, I'm wrong. It seems like he always has his hands all over you whenever I'm around."

I scoffed. "What the hell are you implying here?" I said beginning to get more upset. "I'm not his doormat." My voice had become almost inaudible.

"It sure seems like he has you right where he wants you, that's all I'm sayin'." Spot said in a matter-of-factly voice.

"What's your problem Spot?" I was getting tired of asking the same question over and over but I was tired of not getting an actual answer.

"My problem is that I just want you to make up your mind." Spot said, his eyes looking deep into mine. "You just can't sit there and tell yourself that you don't feel anythin' between us. That kiss we had, didn't you feel it?"

I played dumb. "I was feeling vulnerable Spot, like you said."

"Did you feel somethin' Riley?" Spot said getting more and more aggravated.

"Spot it was wrong. I'm with Match, I shouldn't have kissed you. I don't know exactly why I did…" I trailed off.

Spot grabbed my shoulders to get my attention. "Riley, answer the question! Did you or did you not feel somethin'?" Spot voice was harsh.

"I don't know!" I half-yelled, "I don't know, okay?"

Spot released his iron grasp from my shoulders. "I don't believe you."

I rolled my eyes at him. Would he just give it up? I thought to myself. "Are you done?" I asked, realizing he was only a few inches away from my face. The closeness between us was unnerving. I then realized that I did feel something between us, I wasn't quite sure what it was but it scared me. It scared me a lot.

"No," Spot spoke very quietly. He seemed gentler somehow, but like he was on edge. Slowly he leaned in closer to me. My heart stopped. My breathing kicked up a few notches and I could feel my nervous heart thumping in my chest. My stomach churned in expectation. Spot suddenly grabbed my face between both his hands. He parted his lips and kissed me roughly, almost angrily. He kissed me hard and held me tight, preventing me from pulling away. The kiss was much different from the first one we shared which was more tender and sympathetic. This kiss was Spot trying to prove something to me, to make a point. And I think he was right. Maybe I have been kidding myself all along. Maybe I've had these feelings for awhile now. What have I done to myself, and Spot? What about Match…

As Spot kissed me, I could feel his pain through his lips. Is this true, these feelings? This isn't right, it's wrong. But a little voice in the back of my head tells me that this is right.

Ok a lot to comprehend, right? Tell me what you all are thinking, everyone's opinions matter to me and affect how I write this story so don't be shy, speak up! Thanks everyone for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

-Riley