DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I DISAPPEARED. I'M. SO. SORRY.
Please, don't leave me! *dramatics*
But seriously, I'm so sorry for not updating in a while. I've literally have had papers after papers to do for college that I got sick of writing and took a break. That and I got stuck in the plotline…so…
BUT, the cogwheels were a-cranking one night, and I knew my super loyal followers needed something to reward their patience with me.
So, here ya are! Enjoy!
~Stay Beautiful~
I wrung my hands on the skirt of my dress again as I sat on the edge of my bed. I was due for supper in an hour and Estelle was most likely on her way, but I felt so ill that I thought I might fall over. I jumped when I heard a light rap on the door.
"Estelle?" I squeaked.
"Zelda?"
"One moment, please!" I ran to the nightstand and ladled a scoop of water. My throat was still parched, but at least I could manage conversation better. "Come in!" She uneasily crept in through the doorway. She got a look at my face and was at my side in an instant.
"Zelda, you look absolutely petrified! What's wrong? What happened?"
"Estelle, I can't…" I felt like an idiot with my mouth opening and closing like but no words coming out. "How can I…just…" Maybe Sheik could explain, since I was clearly out of words. I looked around the room in hopes he'd appear. I wandered to the curtains' shadows. "Sheik?" I hope he knew I trusted Estelle with keeping his presence a secret. I moved the curtains to the side, hoping that it would illicit some sort of action.
"Zelda? You're worrying me. Did you hit your head?" I whipped my head to look at her, wide-eyed and stared at her. I then burst out laughing.
"I'm sorry Estelle, I must appear mad, don't I?" I wrung my hands on my skirt again. With Link here, Sheik must've left to consult the scrolls and the Sages. I gathered myself and forced myself to breath normally and stop acting like a crazed lunatic – even if I had ever right to. "I need to explain everything to you." I sat on the plush couch and patted the spot next to me. She warily came and sat on the edge."
"Explain what, my Lady?" Oh great, I've scared her into calling me Lady again. I turned very solemn once more.
"Ganondorf is back, Estelle." Her eyes widened in shock and fear. The townspeople never encountered Ganondorf, but I delivered the news about him whilst explaining how my castle blew up. They knew enough to fear him.
"Was he the one attacking you?" She gestured to my scarred shoulder and I shook my head no.
"He isn't fully back, he's not here physically. He's a demon riding inside a sorcerer's body." She looked thoughtful for a bit and then I saw something click.
"…Lloyd?"
"Yes." I watched her face carefully.
"Who invites a demon inside them?!"
"Someone who craved the Power of the Triforce piece that Ganondorf carries." She put her head in her hands for a moment before looking back up.
"Are you in danger?"
"Not here - not unless he finds me and Lloyd can't know for sure that I'm here." She nodded. "That's not the worse of it." She looked at me and gulped. "Lloyd is trying to find a body to reincarnate Ganondorf's soul into to possess." She grabbed my arms and tears welled in her eyes.
"No! He's using you, isn't he?!" I nodded. "No!" She squeezed my arms. "Are those the marks? Is that what they're for?"
"Yes. He's trying to weaken my soul, so that Ganondorf could take over more easily." She leaned forward for a hug, which I returned fiercely. "You needed to know. Needed to know why I was so distracted and so rude." She shook her head and pulled back to look at me.
"No, no, of course. I understood even before all this. I know you're troubled and confused, and I should've….should've been more gentle with my words." I sniffled a little.
"You crossed no lines, Estelle." She smiled and looked down.
"I do suppose we should get you ready. The prince is expecting you." I nodded and stood up.
She helped me into a silver and red gown. It was a more modern dress than most of my ball gowns. It was very sleek and hugged my waist tightly and flared out slightly from there. I didn't have time for the curling iron – which had to heat up by the fire after every curled strand, mind you – so Estelle just pinned it up in a smooth bun. I looked more modern and fashionable than a regal queen and, as I've felt before, exposing. I'm not sure if it was the dress that made me so uncomfortable, or the company I was presenting it to. Not wanting to ponder it any further, I looked away from the mirror and resisted the urge to tug and pull at the material. I painted my lips to match the red of my dress and left it at that. Estelle said she'd walk with me part of the way to the private dining area. We were silent for most of the way, until Estelle finally spoke up.
"So, um. Who's Sheik?" I flushed, a little embarrassed about calling to the walls like I had. Maybe I was going mad.
"He's a guardian of mine. He can hide in the shadows and he's been watching over me ever since the first Lloyd attack." She blinked.
"You mean like the Sheikah, protectors of the Royal family?" I nodded. "Aren't they deceased?" I smiled slightly and shook my head.
"A few survived. I was lucky to stumble upon him. He's saved me a number of times and has been a big help in trying to the bottom of this problem. So has Link, of course." Her eyes lit up and she grinned the most wicked grin I had ever seen.
"Link, eh? Funny you should mention him." I laughed at her look, grateful for a friend that eased my nerves so. She grinned normally before turning serious. "What's going on with him?" I took a deep breath.
"Estelle. You were right about Link. I do…love him." She smiled an enormous smile and clapped her hands. "And I think he loves me back." I smiled a small smile. "Despite the fact that he won't talk to me…unless he has to, of course." She nodded slowly.
"So are you going to still…marry…Yuri?" She said 'Yuri' with such disdain that I cracked a smile.
"I do believe we've discussed this." She lowered her eyes.
"Oh. I had hoped you would see a different way…"
"There is no other way. If I tried to convince my Council to allow a union between Link and I, it'd end in disaster. Even with the title of Captain, they'd dismiss him and maybe even dishonor him. And by rejecting Yuri in hopes of that, I'd lose an ally and, if Yuri was mad enough, he could start a war." She looked at me in shock.
"That's so unfair!" I glanced around at Estelle's raised voice.
"Estelle."
"Why can't people realize that Link is a great choice as a suitor and would make a marvelous king! The people of Hyrule love him dearly. He's the strongest and bravest man across all the countries, and is a Hero for Goddess' sake!"
"People will hear!"
"And the fact that he loves you! Does your Council not take love into the equation for matrimony? Everyone else gets to marry for love!
"Estelle, please!
"You, Zelda, are the most smart, kind, brave and self-less ruler Hyrule could ever ask for and you deserve someone like Link who won't make your life miserable with politics and will show you what a good life can be like, instead of one of solely duty and solitude." I stopped trying to calm her down after I waved off the guards at the end of the hallway. Hopefully they didn't stick around to eavesdrop. "It breaks my heart and makes me so angry."
"I know. Being a royal means sacrifice – in both little and small things. It's a duty I was born with, and I will honor it." Estelle looked up at me and I frowned at the tears in her eyes threatening to fall.
"Why must you be so honorable? I wish you'd break the rules…" I smiled slightly.
"Surely Hyrule would fall into anarchy if I did." I felt relief at the small grin she released. "Come, dear friend, let's not end our conversation on such a bitter note."
I walked into the private dining room after saying goodbye to Estelle moments before. The room was lit solely by bright candles and was set in a dark and romantic setting. I blinked at the small table that had replaced Yuri's previously larger one. It was surely meant for a much more…exclusive…conversation.
"Zelda," I turned to see Yuri enter the room from a separate entrance. He looked rather handsome in his tailored shirt and pants. He wore a blue button up shirt that was casual yet formal at the same time. They were tucked into charcoal gray pants that were tucked into sleek black boots. He didn't wear a jacket, which seemed to emphasize that this dinner was to be a lot less formal and a lot more…personal. I felt uneasiness creep into my stomach as Yuri approached me. "You look absolutely breath-taking." I smiled as he lightly grabbed my shoulders. I was formulating a compliment to return when Yuri leaned forward and kissed me – directly on the lips. I had thought he was going for my cheek, so I allowed his movement, but when I felt a softness press lightly on my mouth, I froze. The kiss didn't last for a second and Yuri pulled away blushing, but still held onto my shoulders. "I, uh…I've been wondering what that'd feel like." And to my absolute surprise, I smiled a genuine smile. His face lit up immensely at my positive reaction, but was to still too flustered to speak.
"It's alright, Yuri. I was just…surprised…is all," I said in a steady voice.
"Me too. I mean, I know I kissed you, but…it wasn't premeditated. I just was overwhelmed by your beauty and…" he cut off his sentence and just smiled at me. I thanked him for the compliments. "Right. Shall we dine?" I nodded and he led us to the small table. We were so close in proximity that I could reach out and touch him if I wanted, which was an odd thing for a royal dinner party, no matter how exclusive said party was. When Yuri reached out to hold my gloved hand, I knew that that was the purpose of the small table. He was really pushing things along.
Throughout the dinner, I wondered why the kiss didn't bother me as much as it should've had. Giving it more thought, I was more realistic in thinking that what Yuri did was wrong, but why wasn't I more…disturbed? I didn't find the kiss repulsive or pleasing at all, so why such a positive reaction to a neutral effect? I had a sudden epiphany when Yuri mentioned Link's name while asking a question. I didn't realize how uneasy I was that I'd come to be more attracted to someone other than Link. I almost shook my head at the nonsense. The heart was a strangely loyal tool. I was still upset about the forced predicament I was in, but I would've be more upset with guilt if I had felt something while kissing anyone besides my heart's true desire. I smiled to myself slightly, lost in my thoughts.
"Zelda?" I snapped to my thoughts and eyes to Yuri. "I asked you a question; did you not hear it?"
"Oh, I'm sorry Yuri. I was thinking about…" don' say Link, don't say Link, "um. Gardening." I could've slapped my forehead. I was not a proficient liar in any sense of the word. He gave me a strange look.
"Oh, I see. Well, may I ask you a question?"
"Yes, yes of course." I hoped I wasn't blushing too much.
"Why did Link leave and come back? My captain of the Guard reported that Link had left in the direction for Hyrule. I also heard you went to his private chambers once he returned…" My eyes widened as I looked at his face. I thought I saw a flash of anger, but I couldn't say for sure. I composed myself before answering him.
"Yes. I did go see him. I had sent him to discuss some things with both my Council and some friends of mine who I was planning on visiting. He updated my Council on my current state and informed my friends of my recent…unavailability. I went to him because I was anxious to see if he brought any news from Hyrule." I carefully watched his face. He smiled, as he would if he believed my story, but I could see doubt and that minuscule trace of anger in his eyes. But he changed topics before I could delve into that observation too much. The rest of our conversation was polite and even enjoyable, as it usually is. But in the back of my mind, I couldn't let go of the fact that he doubted what I said – even though I left out certain details, it was the truth.
Yuri insisted on walking me back to my chambers. I tried to tell him multiple times that I was quite all right finding my way back, but he was persistent. We were silent in our walk, save for the clank of the ever-present guards walking a ways behind us. They were within sight, but not hearing range. That is, until we got to my door and Yuri waved them away. They quickly backed up and around the corner. I felt my pulse hike up a bit. I turned to Yuri who had gently grabbed my hand and held it in one, while his other gently traced the material of my dress by my shoulder.
"You do look beautiful, in case you had any doubt." I laughed softly.
"I hardly have room for doubt with your many compliments, but thank you." I saw his lips twitch up a bit but then straightened. I heard him clear his throat and leaned forward for what I assumed was another kiss. Whereas I didn't mind the first kiss – it was an answer to an unasked question – I felt uneasy about another one. So before he could get any closer, I gently used my free hand to push his jaw to the side and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Dinner and company were delightful, as always." I smiled brightly, hoping he wouldn't see the nervousness I held. Yuri didn't seem disappointed at all; he merely nodded his head.
"As always. I shall see you tomorrow, fair Queen." He stepped back and bowed. I curtsied in return.
I entered my room and noticed a fire was lit in the fireplace that wasn't there when I left. I instantly felt frightened and started summoning magic in my right hand when I saw Link stand up from one of the couches surrounding the mantel. I felt my heart stop as our eyes met. I suddenly felt shy with the dress I was wearing, but in a different way from when I was with Yuri. With Yuri I felt exposed and on display. With Link, I felt vulnerable in an intimate way that was…secure. I felt safe with Link's eyes studying my attire. I also felt an intense hear rise within me, one that urged me to move forward - closer to his essence. I cemented my foot to the floor though and turned from his gaze.
"How was dinner?" His tone was completely neutral. I looked down at my hands.
"It was fine." I folded my hands together. "Did you rest well enough?" He sighed and I watched him move toward me with a slow pace.
"Just fine." He folded his arms and I reluctantly glanced up at him.
"Has Sheik left or…?" I left my question open-ended.
"By now, yes. He told me to get some rest then head here and he'd leave once you came back from dinner." I brought my eyebrows down and scowled at the ground.
"I was asking for him earlier when Estelle had visited and he didn't appear."
"Yes, I know." I looked back to him, eyebrows raised in question." Estelle came by my room not too long ago." My eyes widened.
"Oh? Did she happen to come to you with concerns of me going insane?" I saw a twitch of a smile on an otherwise stoic face. I tried not to get excited about it.
"She did ask if there really was a Sheik."
"Did she say anything else?"
"Nothing that's of news to me." I felt my heart start pounding.
"I see." I looked away and walked further into my room. With shaking hands, I removed my earrings and placed them gently on my vanity. I then stripped of the gloves with a deliberate slowness. "Well. I do think I should retire now." I was answered by silence. I tapped my fingers irritably on the table before I turned back to Link. "Enough." He brought his eyebrows down and looked at me.
"Excuse me?"
"I've had enough of this stoic soldier nonsense. I know you distanced yourself for a reason, but I'm tired of getting the cold shoulder or being treated like…like a charge. Like I'm your job." Link stayed where he was, as indifferent as before.
"I'm the Chosen Hero – it is my job to protect you." I felt my temper flare. I clenched my hands into fists and calmed myself before speaking.
"What do you want me to do, Link?" He lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing else. I tried not to be pissed off about that. "I realize what a cruel thing I've done to you, but I cannot bear you treating me the way that you have been. It's like you've completely erased any previous emotion except for apathy and slight contempt." I looked him directly in the eyes and took a step closer. "What do I have to do, to make this," I gestured to his apathetic posture, "stop?" He glanced away from me. After a few moments of silence, he uncrossed his arms and straightened up.
"Admit something to me, so that I can know." I swallowed nervously.
"Admit what, exactly?"
"I want you to admit this, not only to me, but to yourself." He took a couple of slow steps towards me. "I've seen the way you act around Yuri, and it sickens me. You act fake around him – the Zelda I know is anything but fake. You're pretending that you truly have interest in him, when I know you don't." I frowned.
"I care for Yuri."
"Not in the way you're insinuating. There's nothing between you two, I can tell. He's pretty blind to it, but you're not. You know that you feel nothing more than friendship for him. Admit it." I turned away from him and I folded my arms. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"You're right. I carry no romantic feelings for Yuri."
"Then why pretend you do? For his benefit? Because it's certainly not for yours." I remained silent as he studied my face. "Do you think that by pretending you like him will actually conjure feelings?"
"This may seem silly to you, but I hope you realize I need to come to terms with this decision."
"The fact that you have to cope with marrying a guy you barely know is...is just..." He threw his hands up in the air and never finished his statement. I rolled my lip inside my mouth and remained silent, trying to summon a response.
"Time heals all wounds…" I said quietly, more to myself than Link, but I think he heard me anyways. I took a deep breath. "We're both hurting right now, but with time I think we'll come with peace with what has happened. We'll move on. Just because there's nothing more than friendship present between Yuri and I, doesn't mean I don't care for him. I do, and I think that with time I will learn to care for Yuri in more than a friendly mann-" I was cut off by Link laughing curtly. I turned myself to face him.
"For the keeper of the Triforce of Wisdom, you're not being very wise." I narrowed my eyes at his accusation. He let out a harsh breath and took two long strides towards me, putting him close enough that I had to tilt my head to meet his irritated gaze. "Zelda, you can't force feelings with someone. Either there's compatibility or there isn't." He tightened his fists before releasing them. "You don't love him. I know you don't and I know you never will." I shook my head.
"You're wrong, Link. Yuri and I are compatible. Once you and I both get over this, it'll be easi-"
"See, there you go again! You accused me of erasing previous emotions, but look at you! You're telling me that you can stop whatever strong sentiments you hold for me and try to mimic that with someone else. It can't be done. Feelings can't be erased and emotions can't be forgotten, even over time." He got closer and his voice dropped lower. "Zelda, I love you and that's not going to change." I swallowed back any opposition I had. There was no room for doubt in the sincerity of his words. I was so undeserving of his affection. "You can try and wish that away but it won't happen. I'll love you, even if you continue your courtship with Yuri and eventually marry him. But please, don't pretend like this matrimony is something that will make you – not your Council or your country – but you happy. It hurts to see you try and force a connection with some other man that comes so easily between us." I shifted my gaze to the side, trying to contain the emotion welling within me.
"I'm sorry, Link. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." His anger seemed to dissipate.
"It was inevitable, Zelda. I'm the one that's sorry for treating you so coldly before. Sorry for things out of my control and out of your control." I looked up and held up a hand to reach out to him but he stepped back. "I don't blame you for this decision at all. I understand the pressures you face as Queen." I bowed my head and dropped my hand.
"I wish they weren't so. I wish things could be different."
"As do I." He reached out and lifted my chin up. Our eyes met and we stared at each other until I felt tears start brimming over. So much for no longer crying. His face seemed to drop as he cupped my face, swiping at the falling tears. "I'm so sor-"
"Shhh…it's alright, love." He drew me into a tight embrace. I clutched to his back, holding back sobs of sorrow. I wanted to tell him that I loved him too. I had admitted it to Estelle, why could I not tell Link himself? Simply because he already knows, just as Estelle knew. I let out a shaky breath and felt him press a light kiss on my temple. We'd been embracing for some time, when Link finally spoke. "I should go; you need to rest." I nodded, even though I didn't want him to. I pulled back and met his eyes again. He was so close that it felt like he was going to kiss me. Gods knew I wanted him to…but he quickly turned away and headed for the door. He looked back at me, his arm on the door and smiled a small, sad smile. "I'll be within shouting distance." I nodded and he was gone.
Okay, so I know it's a bit shorter than what I've been producing, but I really couldn't think of a better cutoff point. I have some plans brewing, but I can't shove it all into one chapter.
Reviews, Favorites, and Follows are ALWAYS APPRECIATED. :D