x
After four extensive meetings, a decision was yet to be made. With the legality of the contract questioned, some wanted Isa to be brought to justice in order to appease the people of Radiant Garden. His crimes were greater than any of his alleged redeemable qualities. Lea had hoped Aerith would have something to say about such a decision. Isa was the last remaining Solar, but Aerith reluctantly agreed with Cid and Leon. Isa had caused too much pain and harm.
"I understand your position," Lea cut in when Cid looked ready to speak once more. "But I have to remind you that you're one governing power in a line of many. You have to deal with the wrongdoings of those who were in power before you unless you intend to deny the atrocities in our history, in which case, you're hypocrites."
"You can't expect this to be treated as a normal case, Lea," Leon said.
"Why not?" Ienzo challenged. He had taken a long-needed break from his work at the hospital at hearing that the Restoration Committee had brought Kairi to Radiant Garden to review the contract. "I took part in the initial human experiments to understand the nature of the heart. My colleagues and I brought down the veil that protected us from Heartless. Yet you have me as Chief of Medicine. Dr. Even is a renowned lector at the University despite his role in the human experiments. You have Dilan as your General. While I was young and under the influence of Darkness at the time of the experiments, I was still somewhat aware of what I was agreeing to do. Isa was possessed. You are in dire need of resources to maintain this city alive. Isa can provide resources. King Mickey will not be feeding us indefinitely."
"Why are we still discussing this?" Dilan asked with a scowl and crossed his thick arms. "If the proof provided to you is not enough, question Isa directly," he said to the Restoration Committee.
"It's not a question about proof," said Cid. "It's about justice. He must pay for what he's done. It's what we want and what everyone in Radiant Garden wants."
"In that case, you're an idiot." Ienzo glared at Cid.
"Indeed," Dilan sighed.
"I'd like to speak to Isa before making a decision," Kairi rose to her feet. "We're not going to get anywhere speaking of it here. All we do here is attack each other. The people outside aren't getting any more patient, so please."
"Speak to him about what?" Tifa asked.
"About everything that we have read, seen. Based on what we have, I doubt incarcerating Isa would do anyone any good." Kairi paused at the murmur of protests and raised her hand for silence. "I need to hear his side of the story. If he regrets his actions, I think he should be allowed to help us."
"And what will you tell the people?" Cid asked, crossing his arms. "You were against lying. And the guy who killed the soldiers is still at large doing Saïx's bidding."
"Cid, please," Aerith cut in. "I think Kairi's right, but you shouldn't go by yourself."
"I won't. I will bring Lea, Roxas, Leon and a handful of guards," Kairi said.
"We'll have to regroup," Leon sighed. "Give us three days."
Three days turned to seven. The guards were needed at the prison as well as outside the castle and in the city to surveil the protesting masses. Finding even five guards proved to be a formidable task. Lea had been warned against telling Isa their plans. This was to be a surprise visit to make certain that Isa was as truthful as they thought him capable.
A week later they struggled through knee-high snowdrifts in the dense forest. Isa wouldn't want them there, but this needed to be done for the Restoration Committee to leave him alone. Lea hoped Isa would understand. As they neared the house they started to encounter markings hanging from the pine trees. The markings were meant to ward against evil forces, but were mostly for show. Still, the guards flinched whenever they accidentally brushed against any markings. The smell of an open fire and roasting fish told them they were close to Isa's house.
Isa's friends from prison stood around a bonfire, butcher knives in hand, watching the fire turn the three split salmons above it a pinkish white. They all turned at hearing Lea and the others approach them. The four burly men hurried to them, forming a V-line, weapons in hand. They used to do the same when Saïx summoned them. The Berserkers would always form a defense line in front of Saïx. Lea had assumed that it was due to Saïx's strict training, that he had used them as the tools they were, but it was loyalty that had driven his Nobodies to protect him.
"Stand back," Leon said to the men and walked ahead. "We are here on official business."
"Well, from what I understand, we're not gonna have official business with any of you until harvest," Frank said, undeterred by Leon showing him his badge and the weapon in his holster. "So what brings you to our side of the woods, Superintendent?"
"Princess Kairi has matters to discuss with Isa."
"A princess, huh?"
"Frank, where's Isa?" Lea walked up to him, scanning the area.
"He's upstairs. We were out hunting and Blooey, committed hunter that he is, jumped into the river to get the salmon. Needless to say, he needed a warm bath after that."
"He was as happy as a pig in mud, though," Nicholas chimed in with a laugh.
"You went hunting? Frank," Lea glared at him. "Isa has been sick. He can't just‒"
"Mr. Keyblade-wielder, I assure you, we did our utmost to keep Blooey in check, but he has a will of steel and insisted," Frank said in an overly polite tone.
"Let's be glad we convinced him to wait with going to the mountain," said Clark.
"Has there been a man with a scarred face around here? Long, dark hair with streaks of gray?" Leon asked.
"No, sir. We've had no visitors aside from curious squirrels," Frank replied and eyed the entourage. "Is that how many it took to carry Your Highness out here or is that for Blooey?"
"I'm here to ask Isa a few questions, just like Leon said." Kairi stepped forward. "The guards are just a precaution."
"It's best if you all wait here," Lea said. "I'll go talk to Isa and prepare him for the visit‒"
"You are not to speak with him until Kairi has talked to him, Lea!" Leon interrupted.
"I have to unless you want him to have a panic attack in the middle of your questioning. I'll be right back."
Frank allowed Lea to pass, but got in the way for Leon to keep him where he stood.
The smoldering firewood crackled in the living room. Lea hung his jacket and cap on the coatrack and hurried out of his shoes. Once upstairs, he stopped by the door to Isa's bedroom. It stood ajar. The wooden floor did not creak under Lea's weight. Isa had not heard him come. The faint winter sunlight came in through Isa's window. Isa stood in the middle of the room, back turned to the door. He had slipped into a new pair of trousers.
Lea froze where he stood. Isa's back was bare, his skin pale from years away from natural sunlight, accentuating that which made Lea hold his breath at the sight. Lea had only seen old pictures of Isa's scars. There had been plenty of time for them to fade, but the marks of their battle were still palpable on Isa's skin. Most scarring on his shoulders and back was a soft pink, others were a faint grey purple; they spread over his back like cracks in marble. The scars were darkest over his heart, like it was still pumping darkness. Isa didn't look at himself. He had no mirror in his room. He didn't let his fingers brush against the scars Lea was certain were as palpable on his chest. Instead he rushed to get his shirt on. Lea took a deep breath before he felt composed enough to knock on the door.
"Come in," Isa said while drying his hair off with a towel.
"Isa?"
Isa turned around at the sound of Lea's voice. He stood still and watched Lea walk inside with caution.
"What are you doing here?" Isa asked.
Lea approached him slowly. He caressed Isa's cheek and watched him close his eyes at the touch.
"Can I kiss you 'hello'?" Lea said instead.
Isa nodded.
Isa's hitch of breath had Lea smile against Isa's lips. He ran his arms around Isa and held him close. It was a long, gentle hello. Lea could feel Isa's heart beat loud and fast with every kiss until he stepped back, slightly disoriented. Isa held his hand over his mouth and eyes onto the floor, taking a moment before he cleared his throat.
"Are you alright?" Lea held Isa's hands and bumped his forehead against Isa's.
"Yeah. It's just, I didn't think you'd be back ‒ so soon…"
"It's been more than two weeks, Isa." Lea placed a kiss on the tip of Isa's nose. "I've been going mad by myself, counting the days."
"But you are here on official matters?"
"... yeah, I am. Isa," Lea stood back to face Isa properly. "The Restoration Committee wants to renounce the contract. There's been a lot of protesting and they brought in Kairi because she's the heir to the throne - it's been a mess over there."
"They want my land?"
"No, Isa. Listen. Kairi is here to ask you about your past, about your granddad and the Solars. And me. And my dad. The Restoration Committee wants you incarcerated. Kairi wants your take on what happened."
"What for?" Isa resumed drying his hair to busy his hands.
"Hopefully to make sure no one touches you. I've been talking to her about you, about the work you'll do here. I'm sure she's convinced. She just needs this one last thing. Isa, you have to tell her everything. About my dad's program, a-about my role in it."
Isa frowned and turned his attention to the floor once more.
"Do you remember any of it?" Lea asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay. That's good, I guess." Lea sighed and scratched the back of his head. "And there's another thing, Kairi brought others with her as well‒"
"They stay outside until she has finished interrogating me," Isa cut in. "I will not have anyone from the Royal Army in my house."
Lea was about to ask if the same was true for Keyblade-wielders but held his tongue. Isa had fainted at the sight of him and Roxas with Keyblades in hand. He vividly remembered their fight, how his scars had come to be; he didn't need the reminder now when he was to divulge everything he remembered about his past.
Leon protested at hearing Isa's conditions. Kairi was not to be left alone with a 'madman,' but Kairi accepted the conditions and reminded Leon that she was fully capable of protecting herself. She went inside the house where Isa was waiting. Frank and the others stood in front of the door at seeing Leon eye it. Should there be a fight, they were ready for it.
Lea walked up to Leon.
"Relax, will you? Kairi is safe. You, not so much if you keep provoking them. And mark my words, you will stand alone in a fight with them. We're not authorized to use our weapons against civilians."
"Prisoners," Leon corrected Lea, but he stood down in realizing that Lea was right.
"I thought former Nobodies hated S‒ Isa," Roxas said. "Why are they going beyond call of duty to keep him safe?"
"Loyalty," Lea replied, simply. "Isa treated them the same way he treated his deer. He gave them names, cared for them, kept them clean and fed."
"But he drew the line at Xion?" Roxas crossed his arms.
"He was someone else at that point, Roxas."
"Do you think he knows where Xigbar is? Xigbar did come looking for him."
"He doesn't. Besides, it's been awhile since the Dark Portal made an appearance."
"What Dark Portal?" Leon cut in.
"The one Isa used to escape the correction facility. It's been appearing here and there." Lea said with a shrug.
"Mostly around Isa," Roxas added.
"And you didn't think that would be important information?" Leon scowled.
"I did think it would be important, but I didn't start seeing it until after I came here and by then you and I had completely fallen out of love, Leon."
Roxas snickered and Leon glared at Lea.
"Did you hear anything? Were there Heartless?" Leon asked.
"No. Just the Dark Portal. I thought something was gonna come out of it, too, but nothing ever did. It's just a portal and it always appears when there's something going on with Isa. At least to my knowledge."
"What about that time Xigbar jumped out of one in Sector Seven and killed three soldiers? Are you counting that time as one that had to do with Isa?" Leon asked, annoyed.
Lea fell into silence, not because of what Leon had said, but because of the portal's pattern and behavior. It didn't appear unless it had a purpose: taking Isa to his old home, having him talk to Xigbar, leading Lea through the dark forest to find him. It couldn't be a coincidence. The Dark Portal was sentient.
"Roxas," Lea began, his face pale and fingers cold. "You haven't seen the Dark Portal, have you? Or felt it? Maybe a low hum or something?"
"I would've said something about it, Lea."
"I know, but think. You haven't felt watched or like something was following you around?"
"No? Lea, what ‒ I mean, maybe once. When we were looking for Isa, I couldn't find you and for a second I thought you might be in danger and that's when I saw a cloaked figure run toward the correctional facility. I followed, but by the time I was in the facility, it was gone. And after that, a portal appeared by Isa."
"A cloaked figure? And you said nothing?! That could've been Xigbar!" Leon burst out, exasperated.
"Can you take a breath, please?" Lea turned back to Roxas. "Was it a short figure?"
"I don't know. It was like a lump or a disfigured shadow. I didn't think much of it. Everyone was running around that night. Why? Do you think Xigbar's been spying on me?"
Lea shook his head.
"No, but I do think we should pressure Ienzo for those test results from the Land of Departure."
An hour passed, then another thirty minutes. The former Berserkers didn't budge from the front door. They only stepped aside when Kairi walked out, sniveling into a handkerchief. Her eyes were puffy and a light red. The guards hurried to her.
"Are you alright, Kairi?" Leon asked.
"Yeah. Just a little stuffed." Kairi smiled weakly. "It was a little more than I was ready for."
"And Isa? Is he…?" Lea cut in before Leon could continue.
"He seemed fine. He's - he's a little hard to read, but there were definitely more emotions there today than what I'm used to see." Kairi paused and tried to clear her throat. She wanted to say more but she couldn't get her voice out. Her lower lip quivered and she gestured with her hand, hoping that she would get a hold of herself soon enough, but instead she cried.
Lea put his arms around her gently to comfort her. More than ten years later and the events that had transpired then still instilled grief in those that heard the stories of the survivors. Isa was one amongst many. Whether his story had been particularly heart wrenching, Lea couldn't say, nor did he care to find out. Soon enough, Isa would finally be able to begin anew and pick up where his grandfather had left it all.
-x-
Ienzo was in his lab when Lea and Roxas walked in, looking for him. The weeks he had spent at the hospital had not gone to waste. He had made sure to train the other doctors in following protocol to subdue the spread of the disease, protect themselves, and help the patients help themselves. The protesters had yet to show any sign of the disease, but the doctors were on alert should another wave of cholera hit them head on.
"Gentlemen," Ienzo greeted Lea and Roxas calmly. "How can I help you?"
"Did you ever finish testing the stuff you took from the Land of Departure?" Lea was quick to ask.
"I did some testing. I had hoped to find out more with Xigbar's help, but he has been very difficult to find. Why?"
"When we went to see Xion, you said that there were traces of darkness around the whole place. Like someone was trying to get out. Hundreds of portals the size the head of a pin," Lea reminded him. "You don't think it's Xehanort anymore, do you? You wouldn't have put this on the backburner if you did. What do you think it is?"
"That you have floating around in the tank, you mean? I have no idea what it could be. I can only say that it has a will and no body."
"It's Xion, Ienzo," Lea said with certainty and smiled. "It's Xion and she's been awake all this time."
Roxas looked at Lea, eyes big and full of hope.
"Even if it was, Lea, how does it matter? She will not magically grow a body. Memory fragments aren't like severed branches or leaves. You can't leave them in water and hope they sprout roots and grow into trees. The best you can do is let it go." Ienzo sighed.
"She's been here. With us. She's been helping you. Isa. All of us. She is in there and if you put your mind to it, you can give her a body. Ienzo, please." Lea drummed his fingers against the side of the crisp white table restlessly.
Ienzo hesitated. He was intrigued.
"Helped us how?" he asked.
"That night when Isa disappeared and found his house, Xion opened the portal that led him there. She led me there. And… one night… I had a disagreement with Isa. And he ran off into the woods." Lea looked away. Ienzo was staring daggers at him, gripping his thumbs tightly to maintain control over his emotions. Lea had omitted this in his reports. "I got scared because it was pitch dark and I couldn't see Isa anywhere - anyway, Xion showed up, as a portal, and she led me through the forest to where Isa was. She alerted me when Isa was having nightmares. And, I think that, with what I've seen for evidence," Lea paused, "that she, she brought Isa here. To Radiant Garden."
"Brought how?" Roxas broke the awestruck silence between Lea and Ienzo.
"That's a bit of a stretch, isn't it?" Ienzo said at last with a huff.
"Think about it. You said it yourself. You didn't know how Isa got here and with those wounds he had I highly doubt he swam here," Lea reasoned.
"Brought how?!" Roxas interrupted, louder this time.
"Isa was reborn at the End of the World," Lea replied, rubbing his neck.
"What?" Roxas mouth hung open. "But… how? Is, is he human?"
"He's human," Ienzo said in a determinate tone. "Do you realize the amount of power it would take to bring someone from the End of the World here?"
"He had black matter stuffed in his wounds. How would he have tended to his own wounds if he was disoriented and weak? He probably thought he was still in the Dark Realm before he was apprehended. Xion must've helped him in the only way she could. Ienzo, you've helped Isa so much. You've basically made him your mission. I'm telling you that Xion made it possible. So, please. Help her, too."
"I don't…" Ienzo sighed again. He looked around the room as though the answer would lie in one of the containers. "The research it would take, it would raise questions, outrage. I can't be the one campaigning for it, not with my history. I'm not saying I'm against it. It would be interesting, it could help others. But for me to even get started, you would have to get the support of all Keyblade-wielders, Yen Sid and King Mickey especially, before taking it to the Restoration Committee."
"We could do that, couldn't we?" Roxas held Lea by his wrist. "If anyone could convince them, you could, Lea."
"It will be a lot of work to take on," Ienzo said when Lea hesitated.
"I'll get back to you. Don't start 'til we have everything in order."
The work; sales pitches, favors, meetings, project plans, they would all be worth it, but he had to start somewhere and that somewhere was to first sort out his thoughts, figure out strategies. But, most importantly, he would need time away from Roxas.
Roxas glanced at him as they made it back to the castle foyer. He already knew that Lea would follow through. It was what he had promised.
"Lea–"
"This will take time, Roxas," Lea interrupted. "And I'll have to think carefully about what to do. In the meantime, don't tell anyone."
"I'll help, too!" Roxas said, but trailed off when Lea looked down on the floor, scratching the back of his head in a way that foreshadowed hidden truths he was about to share.
"I'm going back to the house in the forest. To Isa. And I intend to stay there for a while. I'll come back, for sure, but…"
"I don't understand. You don't have to go back there. The contract expired for you. You're free."
"Roxas, it's – it's complicated. I want to go back." Lea sighed, and then smiled apprehensively.
They stopped at the bottom of the staircase.
"But, Xion…?"
"I'll think of a way to make it happen, but I need to be there. I – remember what I told you about my past? Well, piece of it is still there, untouched, but what's even better is that the future I would've had, had I been brave enough to choose it, is there, too. I can't turn my back on it again."
"How long will you be gone?"
"A month, maybe. Long enough to establish a routine. A farm is hard work," Lea tried for another smile, but faltered when Roxas furrowed his brow. "I need to do this. I'll have a plan by then, you will have ideas, too, and we'll get this project started."
Lea looked down on the floor, afraid he would lose his nerve. The silence stretched for a few seconds.
"I'll miss you," Roxas said.
"I'll miss you, too," Lea said, sheepishly.
"Does Yen Sid know about this yet?"
"Yeah, I talked to him about it. It's a done deal. I'll leave in a week."
"I hope you find what you're looking for, Lea. You deserve to be happy."
"Okay," Lea cleared his throat. "You're gonna have to stop talking or I'll start crying and then where will we be?"
Roxas laughed.
"It's okay to cry. We have to emote, remember?"
"Not when we're standing in the belly of the beast," Lea said and held his hands out to point at their surroundings.
"You're always in the belly of the beast," said Roxas and managed to get an earnest laugh out of Lea. "So, I hope you get to see what it's like outside of the beast, Lea. I know I've liked it there." Roxas smiled and squeezed his arms gently.
The week flew by. The rumors of a new queen had been spread through the populace to test the waters before making an official announcement. The majority was content with the idea. Kairi was a promise; she would restore Radiant Garden to its former glory. On the day of the announcement, the protesting crowd outside the castle held their peace when Kairi stepped out of the castle and onto the small stage outside. Lea and Roxas had stood behind her and so had Leon, Cloud and Aerith.
In the midst of promises, the rage people held diminished. What lies could the princess tell when she was Sora's light, a savior amongst saviors.
With the help of the Keyblade-wielders' connections, the Restoration Committee threw a feast for the people of Radiant Garden. Large wooden tables from the castle's basement were brought up and lined outside on the plaza where the protests had died out. Rich and poor came out to celebrate their new head of state. Returnees from all sectors came at the news of free food. The Royal Army held a parade for the new Queen and General Dilan took the opportunity to not only flex the muscles of the army for everyone to see, but to renew its vows to protect the people with a speech that had so clearly been written by Ienzo. The crowd, merry with food and drink, cheered. With the cue from the colonels, they were all led to sing Radiant Garden's national anthem. It hadn't been heard for years, but the people still remembered it. The song had been Lea's idea. People are easier to control when they feel that they are part of something bigger, like the rebirth of a once grand nation.
The morning Lea left, many were still recuperating from hangovers. None complained, however, for their bellies were full and their hearts content.
The walk through the forest gave Lea time to think, worry. Isa had been less than enthusiastic to see him. Every minute apart served to lead Isa away. Reliving old feelings had been therapeutic and helped him grow as a person, but Lea did not care for this familiar anxiety. He was reminded of Augustus and his conniving ways, his constant following Isa and the sensation of having Isa slip away.
White smoke from the chimney told Lea the household was already up and that he would be interrupting breakfast. He heard the rowdy laughter of the former prisoners as soon as he stepped inside and then silence when the heavy door closed behind him.
Isa peeked from the doorway to the diner.
"Can we talk?" Lea asked, already out of his jacket, cap and boots.
"Yeah."
Lea had hoped to have this talk in Isa's room but had to follow Isa through the diner and into the kitchen, but not before awkwardly greeting the others. Frank gave him a solemn nod, barely taking his eyes off his breakfast.
Isa went straight for the oven to take out the fish he had cooking.
"Fish for breakfast?" Lea asked.
"Yes. And it's fresh. We caught it early this morning," Isa said, proudly.
Haven't you missed me? Lea wondered, his heart clenching at the distance he thought he saw between them. Frank and the others were in the other room, it could be why Isa had greeted him in such an indifferent manner. Whatever the reason, Lea wanted none of it. The agony of missing someone should be clear as day, but Isa still had Saïx's capability of wearing an impenetrable mask.
Isa had barely taken off his oven mitts when Lea pulled him close, cupped his face and kissed him with the desperation of a famished man. Everything Isa did for the rest of the day was to be overshadowed by this. Lea would haunt his every thought until Isa could no longer feign indifference. His yearning would have his body show what he would not say. A soft moan from Isa nearly had Lea lose his mind. He had Isa pressed against a wall. They were hidden in a nook between the stove and a cupboard. Lea would've had his way with him had Isa allowed him to, but instead Isa broke the kiss with a sobbing breath, eyes closed, his hands fists against Lea's chest.
Instead of protesting, Lea kissed and licked down Isa's jawline, his hands on Isa' hips and weight against him.
"D-didn't you – Lea? We were gonna talk," Isa's voice was barely past a whisper.
"Have you missed me?" Lea asked as he pressed his hips against Isa's, rocking ever so slightly.
Isa nodded, eyes still closed.
"How much?" Lea slipped his hands under Isa's shirt and ran his fingers alongside the hem of his trousers. How he had longed for this, the intimacy of each touch, the soft tremble of his skin under the tips of his fingers.
"Lea, what are you doing?" Isa managed to gain his composure and pushed Lea back a step.
"What am I doing? What are you doing?" Lea snapped. He searched Isa's blemished eyes, uncertain about what he was looking for and paused. "Every time I come here you look at me like I wandered into the wrong house…. You said you'd wait for me," Lea sighed before he continued. "Don't push me away, Isa, please…"
It would have been easy to turn around and storm out of the house and run back to Radiant Garden. How many more times would he be able to endure the clenching of his heart at getting that betrayed look before he gave into the voice whispering that they could never be? It was a reflex, Lea reminded himself. An ill-conceived habit that had no place here.
Isa placed his hand over Lea's tentatively just like he had done that night when he had asked Lea to come with him to his bedroom. Sincerity. It had been one of the many things that had attracted Lea to Isa. Lying had been a trait forced upon him for survival.
"I'm sorry, Lea," Isa said softly and paused. "This is still all new to me. There are many things I'm still struggling with - feelings, mainly, especially my feelings for you..."
"Why? They haven't changed, have they?"
Isa quickly shook his head no to qualm the urgency in Lea's voice.
"They're overwhelming. I'm afraid I'll drown you in them, that I won't be able to control them or myself and get you in trouble or ruin it for both of us or that I'll run out of these feelings and end up an empty husk of a man."
"You were never empty, Isa."
"I was. For a long time, I was, but I'm not anymore. And if I seem distant, it's only because I'm trying to process all of this. Because it still doesn't seem real."
Lea brought Isa's hand to his lips and licked at his fingertips. Isa sounded like a precious memory, like the Isa from before, only he was here, within reach. Again, Lea kissed him, every bit as famished as before.
"Let's make it feel real," Lea said in a whisper. The small, disoriented nod was all he needed to lead Isa into the roomy pantry where he had stocked seeds weeks before. Lea closed the door, glad that some light from the kitchen made it in from the small crack above the door. Between two shelves, they found a patch of empty wall. Isa leaned against it, shivered at the cold of it as Lea undid his pants and cupped him gently. Lea kissed him, touched him until he held no doubts about Isa's feelings. Slowly, Lea dropped to his knees.
"Lea," Isa gasped, his voice thick and wavering. He shivered again at the warmth of Lea's lips and tongue trailing downward from his navel as he ran his hands against the back of his thighs. Isa tasted of the lavender soap Lea had brought, of the hemp his undershirt was made of. His skin was soft, heated, sensitive to the slightest of touches.
Lea would have loved to tease him for much longer, but Isa was near bliss already when Lea took him into his mouth slowly. Isa gripped at Lea's hair, attempting to hold his breath only to whimper, his legs trembling, his knees threatening to buckle with every humming suckle, every circling lick. Lea was ready for him once he came. With a firm grip on Isa's hips, Lea kept him against the wall, sucking on him until Isa had gone soft in his mouth.
"You?" Isa managed to ask weakly as Lea stood up and pulled Isa's trousers back up.
"I will wait until tonight," Lea said breathlessly. "You'll let me in, won't you?"
"Mm."
Isa ran his arms around Lea's neck, his hands in Lea's hair and face in the nape of his neck. He needed the support. His legs were as steady as those of a newborn calf. They stood in silence while Isa struggled against sleep. The chitchat of those in the diner were faint in the pantry. Lea rubbed his hands over Isa's back in gentle motions to keep him warm and close.
"Frank knows," Isa said at last.
"What does he know?"
"About us. I had to tell him. After you were here last time, I had one of those episodes at night, and I ended up telling Frank that we're involved."
"What did he say?"
"'It's your life, Blooey. Do with it what you will.' But I don't think he likes it."
"Does it bother you?"
"No. He'll come around. He's bound to like you. Áddjá did."
"Do you like me?"
Isa snuggled closer and cradled Lea's head.
"Mon ráhkistan du," said Isa against the shell of Lea's ear with tenderness so sweet, Lea's skin broke into goosebumps.
-x-
Winter passed and so did spring. Lea found the routine he had sought. On days of rest he wrote down ideas for how to go about saving Xion, on any other day he worked alongside Isa and the others to improve on what had become home. They brainstormed solutions for problems that were new to all of them, fixed old tools and made plans for a future that was brighter than any of them had seen it for years.
Lea spent odd weeks at the castle. He advised Kairi on matters that needed special tending, especially matters where he had knowledge that few others held. The remaining nobility in Radiant Garden was fickle and would do anything to regain former wealth and power. Digging up old contracts and speaking of old promises made to them as well as subtle threats were few of the ways they went about doing it. Their investments in the city were welcome and in order to keep them, they needed that certain kind of diplomacy Lea knew best. Cid called it blackmail, Lea preferred to call it charms.
Though he enjoyed being with his friends at the castle, it was torture to wake up and not have his arms around Isa. He even missed the smell of Clark's half-burnt pancakes in the morning, Franks' woodcutting outside and Rupert's unsavory puns along with Nicholas' snorting laughter.
Once summer came, the lot they had used for farming stood in full bloom, tempting the animals in the forest. By next year, they would double the lot. Isa would not expand more after that. It was big enough to teach. To expand he would need to cut down the forest around the field and he would rather die than ruin the forest.
The sectors were still part of Radiant Garden's reality, just not as grim as it had been. Most houses had been built, and though work was still scarce, people held hope that they soon would earn a place in the farmers' program. The farmers they taught would all receive a diploma and a small piece of land out west where they could grow their crops. Getting a spot was like winning the lottery, and now, with more Solars emerging, it was harder still to get a chance. The Restoration Committee had created a sub-committee to deal with such matters. Those who claimed to be Solars would have to prove it in order to have a chance to return to the forest. Isa was asked to provide the sub-committee with enough information for decisions to be made. Ienzo would come over for dinner to discuss it further. Lea was certain that it was just a pretense to visit Isa. With the work cut out for him, Ienzo didn't have much free time, not that he would complain. He had started to consider the possibilities of Xion exercising her will in her current form and was astounded by the theological implications it would have. He likened being a Nobody to being in limbo, neither alive nor dead. He had gone as far as to call The World That Never Was 'purgatory' once, but had shuddered at the idea.
But before any drudgy dinner for politics, Isa wanted to visit his grandfather. His visits could take whole days, and Lea had never been invited until today. They had walked uphill for hours. The sun was beating hard. There wasn't a breeze to counter the nearly choking heat even the insects had sought shelter from. They all hoped for a storm to break through the stifling air by the end of the week. Rupert had been feeling the rain in his bones for three days already.
"Are we there yet?" Lea asked and wiped his forehead with his soaked forearm.
Isa stopped and held his hand out for Lea. He was falling behind and struggling against weather and nature; it made Lea cranky.
"Is this where Nilas was put to rest?" Lea asked once he walked alongside Isa, fingers entwined.
"I don't know. I doubt it. There was nothing about his grave anywhere in the report."
"Why here then?"
"Because he's the mountain," Isa smiled. "We came up here once a year. It was a test for stamina, patience, endurance. He'd tell me that as long as I was in these forests, he could watch over me. Because he's the mountain," Isa repeated.
"That explains why he let you take the deer out," Lea smiled back at Isa, bumped into him gently and placed a kiss on his cheek.
Isa had grown thicker over winter and spring. He was no longer skin and bones. The sun had tanned his skin, the farm work had toned his muscles, he wore his hair in a ponytail, his bangs covered his forehead and diverted the attention from the scar on his face. Lea gazed at him and licked his lips absentmindedly. Isa was as beautiful as ever.
They didn't climb to the top. They were far away from the snowline, but high enough for it to be cooler. Isa led them to a secluded corner on a lush cliff. He had made a sanctuary of this place. A gravestone stood under a group of three birches, and by the mountain wall a bench. The bouquet of flowers Isa had left last time he had been here lay by the gravestone. At the sight, Lea held his breath. He remembered the first time he had met Nilas; a tall, well-built man with a prominent scowl on his face. Isa had said Nilas would throw him into the well, Lea had believed him.
He half-expected Nilas to rise from the grave to toss him off the side of the mountain. Lea had not been good enough for Isa then and with the history they had now, he highly doubted Nilas would give him the time of day.
"I've told him about you. And us," Isa said and brought Lea closer to the gravestone.
"Everything?" Lea gulped.
"I've spared him some details."
"Am I about to be fed to the deer?" Lea sat down next to Isa in front of the gravestone, still holding Isa's hand.
"No," Isa smiled. "I made you something."
He dug into his pocket where he had a small hemp pouch and in it a necklace; a chain of thin braided leather strings and a dark, round, polished stone that seemed like a piece of starry sky. It was a replica of the one Isa had given Lea as a birthday gift that one time many years ago. It glistened in the sunlight that made it past the crowns of the birches. Lea held it in his hand. The mark of Beaivi was at the top and underneath it was their initials, I.S and L.F. It was the stone Lea had given Isa.
"It's beautiful."
"Hold your hair up."
Isa took off the necklace Lea had found in the raided jewelry shop and put on the one he had made. Lea took the opportunity to lean in closer. Isa let his hands linger. His soft breaths tickled Lea's ear until Isa traced his lips over it.
Many years ago, they had been but two lost boys searching for their place in a godless world. For all their religious teachings, they had feared none more than their elders and thus chopped away at themselves to fit the molds forced onto them. Together they had found a place where Heaven stretched down onto Earth, a place where they could just be. Time and circumstances had ripped them away from that source of light and led them astray.
By fate, divine intervention, or sheer luck, they found their way back to the place where they had known peace, and as they held each other, they both knew: I'm wanted.