Chapter 21 Wading into the Water
Bella had visited the yellow ranch house when she had met Mackayla's caregiver-to-be. But walking along the brick path that day felt very different. She carried Mackayla, still strapped into her car seat, in her right hand, the bag with bottles, diapers, spare clothing and Mackayla's favorite toy - a plush swan - in her left. It was the first day she would leave her baby with a stranger. She'd never given much thought to the word daycare in her life, not giving the word any more weight than any other word. But that day, daycare meant leaving her heart and soul in someone else's hands, and hoping and praying that they would care for her baby as much as she did. She paused, taking in the gingham curtains at the windows, the six seat stroller parked on the front porch, and the clay pots planted with red and white flowering impatiens. All together it was charming and welcoming, but she still felt sad about leaving her child even if the place was perfect. She took a deep breath.
Mrs. Gordon was singing to the babies when Bella tapped on the bottom half of the robin's egg blue Dutch door. Mrs. Gordon's gray hair was gathered neatly into a bun low at the back of her neck, and she wore a faded denim shirt with musical notes embroidered down the placket.
"Good morning, good morning," she sang as she spotted Bella. "Here's our new girl Mackayla. Will she marry a tailor, or maybe a sailor?"
Bella had been warned. Mrs. Gordon was a former opera singer, and she loved to sing to the infants in her care. They seemed to love it back. One baby was in a swing sleeping, two were sitting up in high chairs picking up Cheerios with great concentration. The fourth baby was pulling up on the railing of a play yard. The room where they were assembled was sunny yellow, with cartoonish prints of zebras, cows and giraffes framed on the wall. Rubber ducks paraded around the walls, painted at waist level so the babies could see them from their seats.
"Will she come to me?" Mrs. Gordon sang, holding out her arms to Mackayla. Bella nodded, handing off her daughter.
"Remember what I told you over the phone?" Mrs. Gordon sang quietly. "When you leave, leave, or stay out of sight. She may cry a little, but if she catches sight of you it will only start again, right little one?" Mackayla was fascinated by Mrs. Gordon's big, thick glasses. "You'll be back by lunchtime, and all will be well. You can go now."
She shooed Bella away, but Bella lingered, not ready to leave her baby with a stranger, even if the stranger did come with the highest recommendations. She'd finally put down the bag with Mackayla's formula and bottles, but couldn't bring herself to move.
Mrs. Gordon spoke quietly, "This only works if you actually leave. If you want to stay in the car the whole time, that's fine. I gave you the link for the live feed, yes?"
Bella nodded. Come on Bella, she'll be fine. Zillions of kids go to daycare every day. Leave!
She kissed Mackayla on the head, and slipped out of the little house. She closed the door to her car and rolled down the window. She couldn't bear to leave Mrs. Gordon's driveway.
It was hard to believe Mackayla was over three months old already. She'd changed so much in that time. What if she crawled for the first time at Mrs. Gordon's? What if she said her first word? Would Mackayla love Mrs. Gordon more than her? Her brain knew this was a necessity, there was no way she could tote a baby with her while doing clinicals at the hospital or working full time. If only her brain could get through to her heart.
Mrs. Gordon's voice wafted from the house. She thought she might have heard a squeak that could have been Mackayla, then realized she didn't have to guess what was going on. She took out her work laptop and opened the link to the video feed of Mrs. Gordon's living room.
Mackayla was swinging in the baby swing, the baby boy next to her looked like he was trying to communicate with her by waving, but Mackayla was ignoring him. "Good girl, Mackayla, stay away from those rotten boys."
She smiled at her blinking phone, anticipating Edward's morning text.
151
It was just a little thing, but knowing he was thinking about her, keeping track of the silly thing she'd said about only having sex every six months, was weirdly endearing. She'd only texted him back the one time, but today she wanted to share with someone. It was way too early to talk to anyone in Forks, and she knew Alice was signing up for a class that morning, so she responded to Edward's text.
Just dropped Mackayla off at daycare for the first time B.
Bella watched as Mrs. Gordon handed all the babies plastic maracas. She was encouraging them to shake them in time with her singing. Instead, Mackayla was gumming hers.
Are you ok? E
She nodded her head at the phone and typed back;
Watching her on the webcam. Still in the car on the driveway. She has a maraca B
Send me the link pls E
Without hesitating, she forwarded the link to the web cam on to Edward. She watched as Mackayla dropped the maraca for the third time, and tireless Mrs. Gordon washed it off and gave it back to her. The little boy in the swing beside Mackayla threw his maraca in her direction. It bounced it off the side of her swing.
Who's that brute throwing things at her? He needs a talking to. E
Knowing Edward was watching with her gave Bella a feeling of warmth that had nothing to do with the summer day. He made her feel as if he were her partner in loving her little girl.
After a few more minutes watching Mackayla get settled in, Bella was able to hook up to NJMC and get some work done.
Emotionally exhausted by the morning at daycare, Bella craved her bed. Mackayla had been awake the whole time, so she should go down for a nap easily. Walking up the stairs she remembered Liz and Kat were moving in today.
The door to the apartment was propped open. She recognized the song blaring out the door, it was from a musical, she thought, maybe a song from 'Hair'. Bella walked in to find the living room overflowing with furniture, boxes, and four tremendous canvases. Walking out of one bedroom was a man who looked too big to be allowed in their little apartment.
"You Bella? I'm Alex, Liz's boyfriend."
He towered over her and was as wide as a wall. His hair was buzzed almost short enough to be bald, and he was wearing dark sunglasses backward on his head. The shirt that stretched across his muscular chest proclaimed, "I'm a Firefighter. Wanna see my Hose?"
Bella looked up. "Nice to meet you. Is this everything?"
"Naw, still got shit in my truck, and Kat has a crap load of painting stuff."
Immediately Bella was missing Alice and her swear jar. Liz was a theater major, and for some reason Bella had pictured her boyfriend as some kind of sensitive, actor type.
He was pointing at her sofa. "You taking this couch with you?"
She nodded.
"It's gonna be really tight in here 'til you move." He stared at the room full of furniture as if solving a puzzle, and after a few seconds, lifted the sofa at one end, and tucked it into the corner.
Bella gawked as he lifted and moved the remaining furniture solo.
A tall lean man with shaggy dark hair and long sideburns walked in carrying a box that held coffee cans stuffed with dozens of brushes and tools. He was Kat's boyfriend Garrett, and Bella had met him once a few months ago. He nodded his head in greeting as he was about to put the box on the kitchen table on top of her pile of files.
"Gosh, um, that's my work stuff. Could you please not…" She waved him away with one hand.
Mackayla had been watching all the activity with interest, but now her full morning had caught up with her and she started wailing.
The baby swing had been folded up, and she didn't dare put the car seat on the bit of open floor with all the activity still going on in the apartment. Bella glanced into the kitchen, but the counter and stove were covered with pots, mugs, glasses, bowls, boxes of Captain Crunch and Frosted Flakes cereal, a blender and two toaster ovens.
No Angela coming to take Mackayla. No Alice rushing to make a bottle. No Ben quietly putting her bag away. No Jasper giving her a hug and sweet tea. She hurried to her room, put the car seat on the floor and shut the door.
Suddenly all she'd given up became crystal clear. She dug around in Mackayla's diaper bag for one of the precious cans of premixed formula, and poured the liquid into a bottle, her tears flowing as fast as Mackayla's. She unstrapped the baby from her seat and lifted her quickly, curling up with her on the bed. Mackayla's sobs stopped as she began to drink, but beside her, Bella cried quietly. What had she been thinking? Alex and Garrett weren't being callous; they were just acting like regular people in their twenties, people who weren't worried about keeping quiet for a baby's nap, or who cared about cursing in front of little ears. A new song was playing in the apartment, something heavy metal. The bass throbbed, vibrating the walls until she heard a female voice say something, and the volume went down. It was still louder than anything played in that apartment since her baby was born, and the sooner she moved to her own place, the better. She supposed that a tiny part of her believed the story she'd made up, that Liz and Kat would happily step into Alice and Angela's shoes, and maybe they might, but no way were their boyfriends turning into Jazz and Ben.
Bang.
Bang. Bang.
Bang.
A hammer. Someone was hammering on the other side of the wall next to her head. She squeezed her eyes shut but knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep through that, and it was only a matter of time before the sound woke Mackayla. There was an odor too, but she knew exactly what that was. Mackayla was making her 'eh eh eh' sound that would build up to a scream if she didn't get her diaper changed in the next minute. Guess nap time was over.
She wondered what the rest of the apartment looked like as she set the baby on the changing towel on the bed. The baby was a mess; her poop had oozed out of her diaper and up her back. Bella cleaned her as much as she could with the wipes, but she needed a quick bath. She wrapped Mackayla in a towel, grabbed a clean diaper, and headed for the bathroom to grab the plastic tub. Only, the door was closed.
Liz popped her head out of Alice's former bedroom. "Alex is in the can."
Ok, Bella thought. I can hold her over the kitchen sink.
The kitchen sink was full of plates covered with splashes of tomato sauce and cheese.
Kat peeked in. "Sorry, I'll wash those as soon as I finish hanging the paintings in my room."
She heard the bathroom door open and she rushed back.
Alex had his hand on the doorknob. "I wouldn't go in there. Do you have any air freshener?"
She felt like a stranger in her own home. She grabbed a clean dishtowel, ran the sink water until it was warm, and wet the towel. Retreating to her bedroom, she cleaned Mackayla's skin as best she could, and then put her in a clean diaper and a tiny sundress. The top was a seahorse print, the skirt blue and white stripes, and since it was from Auntie Alice, it came with a matching striped headband complete with a bow.
Bella smiled at her adorable child. She did not believe that 'clothes made the man' or in 'retail therapy', but she was beginning to see Alice's point. Sometimes the right dress did make things better.
Tap, tap, tap. Liz opened the door. "Everyone decent in here? You have a visitor."
Behind her stood that messy copper hair she couldn't mistake for anyone else.
Mackayla recognized Edward too and squealed, her hands held up towards him, her little fingers wiggling, trying to reach him.
Edward stepped in and took the baby out of Bella's arms. "Come here, beautiful."
Bella crossed her arms. "Sure, you're here when she's all clean. Ten minutes ago she was a mess."
Edward was busy giving Mackayla her raspberries.
"I'll just go wash up." She brought the dirty towels to the washer, but it already had a load running, so she wrapped the dirty laundry in a plastic bag and….. She held her nose going into the bathroom, and gave a quick spray with the room deodorizer. A glance in the mirror showed her hair all bunched up where she's slept on it, and her tee shirt had some mystery splatters on it, probably formula. At least her daughter looked good. It still smelled too bad to linger, so Bella brushed her hair and teeth quickly, then escaped, sealing the door behind her.
Edward was standing by the picture on Bella's wall of Charlie, Sue, Seth and Mackayla. Bella looked at the room with new eyes. The twin bed butted up to the crib, the dresser under one window, her desk under the other window, and the rocker now crammed into the remaining floor space. There wasn't an inch of wall space left. Aunt Sarah had sent a changing table to match the crib, but it was still unassembled in the box under her bed since there was no room for it.
She felt a little bit uncomfortable with Edward seeing how small her room was. "My new place is bigger than this."
"I would hope so."
She answered quickly, reaching for Mackayla. "What's wrong with this?"
He leaned towards Bella but didn't relinquish the baby. "Your new roommates seem to take up more space than normal."
It was true, but she didn't want to admit it. "They're just getting settled. Why are you here, anyway? Inspecting?"
"You've only been logged in for three hours today, while Mackayla was at Mrs. Gordon's."
She was starting to steam. He'd told her that he was able to track the activity on her computer, on all the company computers, but now he was here to ream her out about it? How many nights did she work into the wee hours, how many weekends?
She was really getting angry, and tried to control what was about to spew out of her mouth when he said, "I was worried. I thought something was wrong with Mackayla when you didn't answer your phone."
The music had been so loud that she'd put her pillow over her head when she lay down. She never heard the phone.
Bella wasn't used to having her emotions change directions so quickly. She blushed before she answered. "We're fine. It's just a little crazy with them moving in."
Mackayla was busy pulling Edward's hair. "What's that you say Miss Mackayla?" He curled over so her mouth was near his ear. He looked at Bella. "She says she'd dressed for a walk on the boardwalk. What do you say, Mommy?"
He held Mackayla in front of his face and spoke in a high pitched voice. "Come on Mommy! I'm a Jersey Girl, I want to see the sea. Let's go down the shore!"
Bella couldn't resist the silliness. "Fine, let me get changed. You two - out." She pointed out the door, closing it behind them, and quickly took off the stained tee shirt and put on a blue camp shirt even Alice would call cute. It may also have matched the blue in Mackayla's dress. She smiled to herself. Never in a million years did she picture herself doing something as corny as matching her outfit to her child's dress. This whole mother thing was just one surprise after another.
Edward carried Mackayla and her diaper bag down the stairs, while Bella had the car seat handle hooked on her elbow. It was much lighter without its passenger.
As they approached Bella's car, he said, "Why don't we take my car?"
"Do you not want to be seen in my car?"
"If we take my car, we use my gas. And I know where we're going, you don't."
Bella unlocked the back door. "Do you have any idea how long it takes to get the base of a car seat installed properly? If we use your car, we'll have to install it in yours, and then reinstall it in mine. That's at least an hour."
"Then I'll have to get a base for my car."
Bella was processing his words while she clicked the seat into its base, and then strapped her baby into the seat. He wanted to get a base for Mackayla's car seat? Was that the single mom equivalent of wearing someone's varsity jacket? It certainly indicated that he intended on traveling with them again. What other reason would a single man have for doing such a thing? The idea made her smile, and then just as quickly made her frown. She was being pulled into his orbit. She needed to think, not feel, with this man around. Remember, Bella, no secret daddy. She and her daughter would both be hurt if this went badly. She put Mackayla's binky back in her mouth, and the baby smiled around it. One afternoon Bella, one afternoon at the beach—what harm would it do? She deserved a little fun now and then.
She didn't protest when he held his hand out for the keys. She didn't mind being in the passenger seat now and again, especially when she had no idea where they were going.
The parkway was clear for a change. As the car crested the Driscoll Bridge, she could just see the Atlantic Ocean on the left, the Raritan River below and to the right. Sunlight twinkled off the choppy water, the sky a perfect, clear blue. It was easy to forget how close they were to the water, and every time she'd gone down the shore with Alice and Angela, they'd ask themselves why they didn't do it more often.
From her seat in the back next to Mackayla, Bella could watch Edward without being observed. His window was cracked open, and his hair took on a life of its own, waving in the wind. He had on dark sunglasses and a broad smile. Damn, he was a handsome man.
He glanced back, his hair leaping around his head. "Is it too windy back there?"
"No, we're good." She had one of Mackayla's CD's in the player, and Raffi was busy singing 'Baby Beluga'.
He asked, "Is there a port to hook up my Ipod? This guy is getting on my nerves."
"Don't hate on Raffi. There's no port, only the CD player."
"How old is this car?"
"Don't hate on the car, Elvis gets me where I need to go."
"You named this car Elvis? I don't see it."
"Having a cool name boosts his ego."
"Okay, let's go with that. Did you have lunch?"
Bella shook her head, even though he wasn't looking at her. "No."
"I was thinking we'd stop for lunch first."
"I'm kind of hungry too."
The car slowed as they approached the toll booths, making it easier to hear. He looked around and said, "I was thinking, instead of going down where I usually go I wanted to try a place I heard about in the Atlantic Highlands, near Sandy Hook. It's a lot closer and I'm starving."
She heard, "I don't want to take you where I usually go. Let's go someplace no one knows me or my family."
What did you expect? He told you at the start. This is what it feels like to be someone's girl on the side.
She looked down, holding one of Mackayla's toys near the baby's foot. The baby kicked at the toy, and Bella was able to hold back her tears while chirping a small "Okay". She knew it was going to be this way, but she didn't think these little things would hurt so much. She sniffed, wiping the one tear that escaped away with the back of her hand. Mission accomplished. Enjoy the moment Bella.
Edward pulled into the Cheesequake rest stop and put the car into park. "I took a wild leap in assuming this car doesn't have a GPS."
"No, not quite," said Bella.
"Let me look up the directions on my phone. I think it's called Windandsea."
"Don't you have that Siri thing? Can't you just ask it where to go?"
"If I said Windandsea it would probably direct me where to pee."
He seemed guileless, tapping away on his phone. He didn't even know where this place was. Did he impulsively decide to take them out, and then rethink his decision?
"Ha," Edward said. "I found it. It's spelled W-I-N-D-A-N-S-E-A, and I would have been totally lost, it's in the Highlands, not the Atlantic Highlands."
"There's a difference?"
Edward smirked, shaking his head as he backed out of the spot. "I read a story about this place. When they did a renovation a few years ago, they were ticked when they had to change their plans to meet the new code, to be hurricane proof, but when Sandy hit, the building held, so it was worth it. They were one of the first places on the shore to reopen."
"Oh."
"That's how I was sure they'd be open."
"Oh." Bella still had doubts. He'd lived here all his life, he must know other places.
"I wanted to go there a few weeks ago with Emmett and Rose, but they're so boring. They always want to go to the same places where Emmett can get a mountain of food."
He was certainly Mr. Chatty today. So, was Edward nervous? Charlie had taught her that people who were lying tended to talk a lot and expand their stories, but people who were nervous often do the same thing. Just enjoy a meal out, Bella, worry about what it means another time. Nervous or lying, you're still getting a free meal and some time out of the apartment.
There were some strange twisting roads involved in getting there, but at last they pulled into a parking space behind a white rectangular building. As Edward pointed out, the other side faced Sandy Hook Beach, the bay, and the ocean.
"I'll take her." Edward took the baby seat, passenger still aboard, out of Bella's arms. He walked ahead, holding Mackayla in the carrier up to his face. "Did you have a good nap? Did you?"
The conversation wouldn't have been funny, but Edward was waggling his eyebrows as he spoke, which Mackayla thought was hilarious. He continued until they were inside at the hostess station. Life sized sepia tone murals of surfboards, surfers, and other denizens of the Jersey Shore decorated the walls. The hostess led them to a seating area, which was lined with sliding glass doors, all open to the breeze, overlooking the water. Only one other table was occupied by a quartet of senior citizens.
Edward already had the baby out of her seat and was standing by the open door. "Look Mackayla, there's the ocean."
Mackayla only had eyes for him, grabbing his eyebrows.
A tall, dark-skinned man with a neatly trimmed beard, wearing a light blue polo shirt with the restaurant logo approached. He had a wooden high chair in his right hand, menus in his left.
He smiled at Mackayla. "I'm Dennis. I hear we had a very special guest today."
He put the chair at the head of the table.
Bella tried to stop him. "She's too little to sit in—"
Dennis interrupted, "I know, this is for her car seat so you don't have to put it on the ground. It's more stable than the table, and if someone is tired of holding her, you can put her in it. I have two of my own, I've done this before."
"Oh, thanks," Bella said, taking the seat Dennis pulled out for her. "I never—"
Dennis laughed. "I can tell when it's a couple's first baby."
Bella glanced at Edward, waiting for him to deny something, but he just smiled, showing Mackayla a gull hovering outside the window. The dining room was actually on the second floor, and a few gulls were flying around outside, looking for scraps.
Mackayla stayed in Edward's left arm as he checked the menu. The baby seemed to focus on the buttons of his blue button down shirt, but didn't have the fine motor skills to grab something that small. But she was determined to do so, swatting at them again and again.
He put down the menu and turned his attention back to Mackayla. "And what are you having? Are you having the giggles?"
The baby gave her full belly laugh, just as the four other diners were leaving. One of the women, with snow white hair and a cane stopped. "Isn't she precious?" She reached out to touch Mackayla's toe. "Now you be good for Daddy, sweetie."
Mackayla answered with a squeal.
Bella looked down at her menu. She'd already decided on the fish tacos, but watching Edward preen with her baby did something to her. Maybe he was everything he said he was.
Dennis returned, putting his face close to Mackayla. She reached out to grab his chin. "The ladies all love the beard. What can I get you folks?"
Edward said, "The crab cake sandwich and iced tea."
Bella ordered her tacos. After the waiter left, Edward asked, "So, is this a date?"
Wondering if she looked as surprised as she felt, Bella said, "Do you want it to be?"
"Yes," Edward answered. "I do, but do you think it qualifies as a date?"
Bella considered before answering. "We're out to eat, together. We drove together. I assume you're paying since you asked me. So yeah, it's pretty date like."
"What would make it really a date?"
"Usually people ask other people out beforehand. There is notice involved. Didn't you ever date before?"
"Well, I didn't want to bring her up, but Tanya told me where she wanted to go and when. There wasn't a lot of asking involved."
"You said you saw other girls in college. Didn't you ask anyone on a date?"
He was holding his lips together, as if he didn't want to talk. "I mostly met girls at parties and went home with them. There wasn't a lot of, um, follow up."
As she worked to compose an answer to the surprising fact that Edward had been a bit of a player in school, her phone pinged. It was a text from Alice.
Where's my picture of Mackayla? Did you forget me already?
She rolled her eyes. Taking a picture of the baby in Edward's arms would cause a slew of questions from nosy Alice. Better that he took the picture, than be in it. "Edward, could you take a picture of Mackayla and me? I promised Alice."
Edward seemed happy to be off the subject of his dating history. "Sure. Let's swap."
He handed over Mackayla, and Bella showed him her phone. "Just press there. But wait 'til I have her fixed."
Bella straightened Mackayla's headband and smoothed her dress. She finger combed her stray wisps of hair. "Okay, ready."
"Just a second." Edward reached over and moved a loose piece of Bella's hair behind her ear. "Perfect. Smile ladies."
He took a couple of shots, Mackayla's hands were a blur in most of them, but in one she was touching them together near her lips as if she was sending a kiss. Bella clicked through. "Oh, Aunt Alice will love this one."
Dennis approached the table with their plates. "Hey, I can snap the whole family."
Bella saw what she thought was fear in Edward's eyes, at least hesitation. When he didn't say anything, or move to get around the table next to them, it was enough to burst her fantasy bubble. "That's okay, Dennis, but thanks anyway."
She kept Mackayla on her lap as she tried to eat her fish tacos one handed.
"Let me hold her, you can't eat tacos with one hand."
"It's hard, but it can be done. Mackayla and I can take care of ourselves, right, little one?" Bella nuzzled into her baby's head, trying not to look at Edward.
He didn't want any pictures of them together, that was clear. It wasn't like she was going to post them on Facebook or send out some Instagram message saying, Look at me and the man who likes to pretend to be my baby's daddy, but doesn't want there to be any evidence.
…
She only managed to finish one taco, and Dennis wrapped the rest. At least she didn't have to worry about her next meal.
Edward looked at the dessert card on the table. "Do you want some Key Lime Pie? Brownie Sundae? Cheesecake?"
"I just want to go home."
"The beach is just over there, you can see it, it's only a few minutes—"
"Edward, I'm tired, I just want to go."
…
The ride back was nearly silent. She was trying to give him a chance, but bringing them to some far off restaurant and refusing to take a picture with them made her feel like she was having an affair with the man. And it was nice that he came to see how she was, and offered to take them out, but the end of the date made her feel a little used, like he only wanted her around when he needed some entertainment.
Could he really be so stunted when it came to dating that he didn't know it was polite to ask ahead?
Alice texted,
U and Mackayla look great, but where r u? Who took the pic?
Bella wrote,
At a restaurant. Edward took the picture.
She considered her words. Would he be upset if she told Alice they went out? If he didn't want a picture together, maybe he didn't want her to tell anyone. Bella wasn't ready to discuss this with Alice either. She changed the message to:
At a restaurant. Waiter took the picture.
It was better this way, fewer questions, and if this all fell apart, she didn't want to hear it.
…
Edward parked her car right in front of the building, and Bella unstrapped Mackayla and lifted her out of the car seat.
Edward opened the door next to Bella. "Want to hand her to me?"
Bella shook her head. "I can handle her. I'm not bringing up the carrier, the apartment is packed."
Edward reached for the diaper bag, "Let me get this—"
Bella took the handle before he could get it. "Edward, I have it."
She shuffled on her butt awkwardly, holding her handbag, diaper bag, and baby, trying to get out of the backseat. Suddenly she felt Edward's hands on her elbows, stabilizing her so she could stand up.
Bella realized she was being childish. If anyone else had offered her a hand with everything she was carrying, she would have said 'please and thank you'. He'd been upfront about his situation. He said he needed to keep this quiet, and she knew that going in, but she didn't like the feel of it. Again, her heart was overruling her brain, but she couldn't stop herself. She needed to get inside before she lost it and started yelling at him. She still worked for him after all.
She forced a smile. "Thanks for dinner or lunch or whatever that was."
Edward dipped into the backseat. "Don't leave your tacos."
Bella didn't have a free hand. "Just put it in the diaper bag."
"Let me help you upstairs—"
"No, I'm fine." He had infiltrated her life enough. Her heart needed some distance.
"Okay." Edward looked down at the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets. He fished out her keys and held them out. "Guess you'd miss these. At least let me open the door for you."
Bella hitched the bags up her shoulder and put out a hand for the keys. "I can handle it."
Edward bent over and kissed Mackayla's head. "Ok, then I'll go. Can I call you?"
"Of course you can call me Edward. You're my boss." She could hardly believe what she'd said. She'd never felt so mean.
His face dropped. She could see the hurt in his eyes. He nodded his head slowly and turned, walking to his car.
She felt terrible, for herself, and for him. He looked so defeated walking away, but she just couldn't do it. She didn't know how girls giggled and smiled for guys they only liked for their money. She couldn't fake that she was happy about the way today ended.
Bella liked Edward, but she didn't like being a secret. She gave it a chance, but she knew she couldn't follow through until his situation changed.
…
As she walked up the stairs to her apartment, the music grew louder and louder. She could just make out the words over the throbbing bass and horns.
"I'm gonna' pop some tags, only got twenty dollars in my pocket…"
As she got closer to her floor, she held Mackayla's head against her chest, covering the baby's little ear with her hand. It was ridiculously loud, and as she feared, coming from her apartment.
The door was open, and an enormous TV was set up, blocking the living room window. Tall speakers flanked the screen, and there was some music video was playing. The thick sweet smell of weed hung in the air. Garrett and two other men she didn't know were slouched in the newly arranged living room chairs, their backs to the door.
"Hey! Hey, turn this down!" Bella yelled, but they didn't hear her. Not wanting to let the noise damage Mackayla's hearing, she kept her hand over the baby's ear, and kicked the door with her foot.
One of the unknown guys turned around, then turned to punch Garrett in the shoulder, pointing his beer bottle in Bella's direction.
Garrett put one hand in the air as if asking her to wait, then pointed a remote at the TV, reducing the volume by half.
It was still loud, but Bella didn't think it was dangerous to her baby.
Garrett pointed at the electronic system. "What do you think? We just finished hooking it up."
Bella let out the breath she'd been holding. "Garrett, it's too loud for the baby, and you can't light up when she's here either. I talked to Kat and Liz about this."
"They're not here." He reached around the TV and opened the window, trying to wave the smoke out.
Garrett's friends drained their bottles and got up, waving at Garrett and muttering at Bella as they left.
A huge canvas, it had to be six feet tall by four foot wide, hung on one living room wall. Bella stepped closer to have a look. Thin pieces of magazines, Women's World, Vogue, Glamour and Woman First, were pleated in rows forming a hollow oval. Small, black springs lined the edges. Crimson paint flowed out of the center and Bella could see tiny, multicolored things glued to the red parts of the canvas. She looked closer. They were plastic babies.
"Isn't it amazing?" Garrett stood next to her. "It's mixed media, oil and collage. Kat was inspired by Georgia O'Keefe. She calls this one 'River of Life'."
Stepping back she turned to look at the other wall. Another large canvas, this one depicting what looked like a deep, green, forest with a long stemmed mushroom, as tall as one of the trees, at the center.
"That one's called 'Patriarch'." Garrett was at her shoulder again. "I posed for that one."
Bella was afraid to look anywhere else. "I need to change the baby."
Closing her bedroom door behind her, Bella sunk to the bed. She'd always considered herself progressive, not prudish, but the idea of her daughter staring at a paper mache vagina and a giant mushroom phallus disturbed her deeply. Add to that the ear drum piercing sound system, the random guys stopping in when her roommates weren't even home, and the guys smoking pot when they'd agreed to abstain until Bella and Mackayla moved out - She couldn't stay here.
She put Mackayla on her belly in the crib while she sorted out the bags and found her cell phone. She dialed, crossing her fingers.
"Hello?"
Bella stammered, "Uh, Mr. Greene? This is Bella Swan, your new tenant. Would it be possible to move in a few days early? Like this week, instead of the fifteenth?"
"Bella, what did I tell you? Call me James. The place is empty, so there's no reason you can't move in, say, the first?"
"This Monday? That would be great, you're a lifesaver. Thank you, Mister- I mean, James."
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a/n: This chapter may win for most obscure holiday, which would be the feast of St. John the Baptist on June 24th (get it, wading into the water?)
I feel sorry for poor Edward.
Welcome new readers, and thanks to all the people who voted for me over at The Lemonade Stand. The story is approaching 1,000 reviews…that's beyond what I ever expected. Thank you for all your support.
Welcome to my sister-in-law who recently started reading. She is seeing me in a brand new light. I think she's scared.
By the way, I fiddle with this after Miss Winkles beta's, so any mistakes are mine. At least no one's calling the ellipse police on me…
The song is Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. No copyright infringement intended.