Chapter 25

August 12th, 1963

Ennis and Jack were exhausted; they were finally all sorted with the sheep after the mix-up, but Ennis was convinced that some of the sheep they had now were not Aguirre's lot. But there was nothing they could do about that now; they just had to hope that it wouldn't affect their pay packet too much.

They sat around the campfire after dinner, neither of them wanting to move. Jack had to go up to the sheep soon and it was probably a good idea, given what had recently happened. But he kept thinking back to something that Ennis had said during their attempt to sort the sheep.

"All these goddamn paint brands have worn off," he yelled at Ennis, dragging the sheep over by its legs.

"Well, we gotta try," Ennis replied, trying to herd the sheep while the dogs ran around barking. "Least we can do is get the count right for Aguirre."

"Fuck Aguirre!" Jack shouted, frustrated and annoyed. He hated how they had to put themselves out like this just so Aguirre didn't lose any profit.

"Oh yeah, fuck Aguirre. An' what if we have to work for him again, huh?" Ennis shouted back.

This was what Jack kept thinking about; them working together again. Perhaps Ennis hadn't truly registered what he'd said, but it made Jack wonder. What if they did this again next year? Would they be together or not? He kept wondering and hoping that it meant what he hoped; maybe Ennis was changing his mind.

He looked over at Ennis, who seemed to be finally at peace after the difficulty of the past few days. He'd taken his hat off, and Jack couldn't stop staring at the way his blonde hair curled around his ears. It had grown a little during the summer, and was now just tickling his neck. Jack just looked at him, seeing how beautiful he was and wishing that he could tell Ennis so. Even if he plucked up the courage, something told him that Ennis would not be receptive to such a comment. Words like that were surely only meant to describe women, not men. But there was no other word for him that Jack could think of.

He sighed inwardly and lay back against the log, thinking to himself. Ennis's eyes were still closed so Jack kept sneaking glances at him, yearning to just go over there and kiss him. But he didn't like to take Ennis by surprise; it might make him uncomfortable. Jack was very sensitive about Ennis's need to have a certain amount of control over this...whatever it was between them. He didn't like to admit it, but Ennis was the one holding all the cards; only he could decide if they had a future together.

Ennis opened his eyes and saw that Jack was looking a little down. "Bud? You alright?" he asked, looking at him in concern. Jack nodded.

"Yeah, fine. Just...thinkin' about goin' up to the sheep. Ain't sure I wanna go..." He saw the look on Ennis's face and knew that Ennis didn't want him to, either.

"You've gotta, Jack," Ennis told him, shaking his head. He hated every moment they spent apart but they did still have a job to do. "Look...you can stay here tomorrow night. When things go back to normal."

"That's generous of you," Jack snapped, standing up. He was sick of the fact that even though they were building a connection, there was still a high chance that Ennis would chicken out of anything more than this summer.

Ennis looked at him in surprise, and then also stood up. "Hey...what's with you?" he asked, walking over to Jack. But when he tried to put a hand on Jack's shoulder, his friend jerked away.

"Like you don't know," he muttered, not meeting Ennis's eyes. He wanted to tell Ennis how he really felt, and hated that he couldn't. Ennis looked confused and slightly hurt.

"Jack...I'm sorry, bud. You know I...I'd like it for you to sleep here with me every night, but...we've gotta mind the sheep, too. Still got work to do."

"This is still just a job to you, ain't it," Jack sighed, looking up at the sky; it wasn't a question. "Well, Ennis...it's more than that to me, an' you don't need no college education to figure out what." He moved away towards the mare and started getting ready to leave. Ennis's heart felt heavy; this wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't meant to fall for each other like this. But he knew that they had and he didn't know how to handle it.

He did the only thing he could think of. He walked over to Jack and spun him around, hands holding his face. Jack stared at him, wondering what he was doing. Ennis looked into his eyes for a few seconds before leaning in, pressing their lips together gently. Jack felt his anger melt away in favour of the love he had for Ennis and relaxed against him.

When they pulled apart, Ennis held their foreheads together. "Ain't just a job to me," he whispered. "I...care 'bout you, Jack. I dunno what's gonna happen after this summer, ain't really sure what to do. But...I reckon I can figure it out if you just give me time, alright?"

He really did want to be with Jack, but there was so much to consider before taking that leap of faith. There was Alma, for one. The possibility of someone finding out and hurting them, money, jobs...not to mention the day-to-day living. Could they even make it work long-term, out in the real world where they would encounter obstacles?

Jack nodded, pressing his lips back to Ennis's one more time. "Okay," he agreed, feeling slightly more hopeful than before. "We've got a month...an' I'll try not to put pressure on you." He looked up and smiled at Ennis. "Better get movin'...see you in the mornin'."

"You bet, bud," Ennis replied, giving him one of his own rare smiles.