All characters are © Stephenie Meyers

A/N: It was pointed out that the last chapter was "angsty." Yes, it was supposed to be. This was the culmination of the problems Bella was having which had been slowly infecting her relationship with Edward. The thing about it was, even Bella was in the dark to the true underlying problem.

I'm sorry this chapter is probably not stimulating at all. I've had the worst writers block ever-- mainly because my next story is already in my head and clouding my thoughts for this one. I needed to wrap things up... epilogue is pretty much written so that will be posted tomorrow.

***I made a livejournal with some visual details of the story including the house and Bella's dresses. My usernamer is XAmandaBethX... so check it out. It'll be used during my next story***

Chapter 25 - Decisions

Bella

I refused to move from Edward's arms for the rest of the night and well into morning. A weight that had been holding me down, a darkness that I hadn't even recognized, had lifted from my shoulders. I could still feel it hovering around me, not completely gone, but for the first time in a long time my mind was at peace. I hadn't been trying to protect Edward -- I had been subconsciously trying to protect myself. Alice teased me and told me I needed to find my rose colored glasses again; the ones I "wore" in Forks all the time. I was certain I would eventually, but seeing clearly for once was fine for now.

When Renesmee and Audrey came back from their walk, I prepared myself for another argument but instead Nessie excused herself to her room to get some sleep; she had been awake for almost 24 hours. Audrey refused to lay down in our suite, but she didn't speak another word about being changed. I didn't hear their conversation; I had been too wrapped up with Edward. I wasn't sure if I'd ever know what was said.

It wasn't until Jacob came over and we had to fill him in on Alice's vision, did I snap out of my state of euphoria. It wasn't to the present I came back to though, but the past...

"Is she okay?" he demanded, touching her forehead, tilting his head as he listened to her hear. "Don't mess with me, Bella, please!"

"Nothing's wrong with Renesmee," I choked out, the words breaking in strange places.

"Then who?"

"All of us, Jacob," I whispered. And it was there in my voice, too -- the sound of the inside of a grave. "It's over. We've all been sentenced to die."

I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him once again that our fate loomed over us, and with it, his as well. I turned helplessly to Edward, begging him with my thoughts to have the courage to tell him what I couldn't, but Jake was the one that spoke.

"They're coming back, aren't they?" He was nodding his head ever so slightly with his masculine jaw set in stone, his warm eyes turned cold. "Where is Renesmee?"

"Sleeping," I managed to squeak out. Edward's arm held me tighter. "How did you know?"

Jake scanned the room and finally back to me. "Call it deja vu." He spun around and was out the door before I could read his face, but I heard the crack deep in his throat.

Repeat.

"We're going to have to move soon, won't we?" Esme was trying to keep busy but worried questions kept escaping. She was meticulously picking up every single piece of the broken plate, trying her best to hide all evidence of a devastating future.

Carlisle had finally gotten over the initial shock and had settled down in front of the computer looking at homes for sale. "I had chosen Oregon as our next stop, it may be best to move back that direction. We can wait a year or two, I don't think we are in any immediate danger."

"What's the difference?" Rosalie's normal catty attitude had an edge of fear to it. "They'll find us no matter what."

"It would be better if we were closer to the pack," Jacob promised appearing in the doorway again, more composed then before. "Sam won't be pleased, but you should be far enough away from La Push to lessen the effect on the tribe. They'll all be glad to have me back anyway."

"Effect?" Audrey spoke up. I had almost forgot she was there.

Jasper was blatantly against Audrey having anything to do with our family and he was irked by what he perceived as pestering. "I don't think we should get into this."

"Jazz, what harm could it possibly do?" The life had returned to Alice, her body language a little more positive than it had been hours before.

"Don't worry about it," Audrey whispered a small amount of sadness hinged on her words, and moved closer to Tia. I had learned some compassion for the girl in only the last few hours. People trying to keep things from you was beyond frustrating. I would know.

"Jacob!" Renesmee appeared from her room and was in his arms before I had heard the words come out of her mouth. I sighed. At least she got a few hours of sleep. I saw Audrey assessing the situation as Jake and Nessie whispered back and forth to each other. She laid her hand on his cheek, showing him everything he had missed. I saw him look over quickly to Audrey, she must have been filling him in on her story as well.

"Ask her later," Edward must have answered the question Audrey had been thinking. "It's easier for her to show you."

Audrey looked back over at her new friend, probably expecting Nessie to notice the conversation, but she didn't. Audrey turned up one side of her mouth and furrowed her brow, still trying to figure out the relationship between the awkward couple.

I had not had a moment alone with Edward in what felt like ages, minus our argument that I tried so hard to push out of my mind. A part of me was grateful that it was all out on the table; my feelings had never been laid out in front of me like that. At the same time I felt vulnerable that the entire family knew how I felt. Jake had already known. No, Jake had always known. My best friend saw the desperation in me and offered to take both of the girls out for food while Tia and Benjamin left the area to go hunt.

Nessie was holding his big hand, her little one disappearing into his massive palm. There was silence between them but she looked up -- way up -- scrunching her forehead and pursing her lips. "But Jake, I don't want to go to the diner. I want to get ice cream!"

I shifted looks between Edward and Jacob, both of them realizing the extent of what just happened. I hadn't really paid any mind to Jacob's notion that Nessie could read his thoughts. Sure, there had always been hints that they had some type of connection, but I brushed it off comparing it to the same way Edward and I could read each other. This just went way beyond it.

Jake tried to remain calm and smiled at her. "Dinner first, ice cream second." At least he wasn't giving into her every whim anymore.

Neither Edward nor I knew what to say as the sound of the car's engine became more distant. He shook his head and lead me to the privacy of our bedroom--as private as you could get in a house of super sensitive vampires of course.

"Edward?" I said curled up in his arms. "Was that what Jacob was thinking? About the diner?"

"Yes, yes it was." I couldn't see his face the way I was wrapped up in his body, but he sounded baffled.

I turned into him and pulled myself up to his eye level, our faces so close that our noses touched at the very tips. "Not something you want to think about right now?"

"We have a long time to figure it out. Alone time with you, on the other hand, has become too scarce for my liking."

He started kissing me so gently, the way he use to when I was human, as if he was afraid of himself. "Edward? What's wrong?"

"It burns a little. Aches."

"What does?"

"This heart that I'm not supposed to have. I took in a lot today. I'm so sorry Bella."

I pulled him into me for a real kiss. The I-will-never-live-without-you kiss. "Shhh. I love you."

He tucked my long hair behind my ear and took time to run his fingers over every contour of my face. "I'm sorry I was being so insensitive. I'm sorry that I didn't see it," he said softly in my ear, kissing it. "I hadn't felt that horrible since... since I thought I lost you. When I heard what Audrey said... when I saw your face... it was like my heart was missing again... I'm so sorry, love."

"No more apologies. PLEASE." I accented the last word with a shrill. He was kissing the sensitive spot behind my ear. He had been very proud of himself when he found one of my buttons. He gravely explained to me one night, that me being in his presence was the only "on switch" he needed.

He grinned at me with his amazing god-like face. "I know we've gone over this before but I need you to understand how happy you make me. How I have never felt this whole in one hundred years. And Bella, we will get through this." He wasn't talking about the fight anymore. "This is not going to be our death sentence. I'm not done loving you yet." Even within his perfect smile there were twitches of hesitation.

"I love you, Edward. I just--"

"Shhh. Sometimes there are no words," he whispered in his velvet voice kissing behind my ear again, sending a shutter down the entire length of my body.

Our hands, our lips, and our bodies did the talking for the rest of our alone time.

"Nessie and Jacob have an odd relationship, don't they?" Audrey was perceptive, that's for sure. The tension between us had dissolved, mainly because a part of me was thankful for what she did.

According to Carlisle, due to the earlier altercation and my now "bias opinion", I was no longer allowed a say in the Audrey Discussion and was stuck playing babysitter instead. Knowing that I would not be able to avoid eavesdropping on the conversation and would most likely barge in with my own comments, the rest of the family, along with Benjamin and Tia, excused themselves deep into the woods. Renesmee was invited, but declined, completely unable to pull herself away from Jake and his newest car, which is where she was while Audrey and I watched from the kitchen window.

I was still unsettled by what transpired on their way out to dinner. She had read his mind, as Jacob had claimed before. There was no other explanation. I wasn't sure how that was even possible, and I didn't know how to ask her about it.

"It's unique, yes." I couldn't possibly tell Audrey what imprinting was; I couldn't chance her slipping up to Nessie. "Jacob helped deliver her, so I guess you can say they bonded at her birth."

"She called him My Jacob earlier, do you find that strange?"

I had called him that too, once upon a time, so of course I wouldn't see it as strange. I even find myself calling him that now, but only in my closed off mind. I reminded myself that Audrey had never been socialized, even compared to vampires like Tia and Benjamin, and it would be difficult for her to comprehend family, friends, and love. Of course, it was quite possible that no one from the outside would ever understand imprinting. Ever. Sometimes I didn't.

I was the only person, Jacob told me, that got a peek into what it feels like to be imprinted on. He called it the insider's scoop. For that reason, I try my best to hold onto the memories of my pregnancy, and the days that I was drawn to Jacob in this unexplainable way. The memories aren't there for long before the oh too familiar stars of pain cloud my mind. Rosalie had told me that if I exercised my human memories long enough, I would be able to keep them in this life. I wanted to remember them, even if they included the pain, so the day Renesmee begins to see Jake in a different light, I will be somewhat understanding of her feelings.

And that day was going to be here sooner than later. After her reaction to the girl talking to Jake in Washington, D.C., I was sure of it. I dreaded not so much the difficulty I may or may not have with that, but Edward and his mind reading. For so many years he was able to cope with this whole imprinting ordeal because Jake's thoughts were all about her happiness and her safety. I thought back to the sex talk I had to have with her, and Edward's reaction to her thoughts and my taunting about talking to Jake about it. An imaginary pain stabbed at my temples. We would deal with that when it was time.

In my own distractions I had forgotten that Audrey asked me a question. "It's a long story, but they're the best thing for each other." They are the only thing for each other, I wanted to say.

Eventually Jacob and Nessie came in and I talked Nessie into eating steak; I knew at least Audrey had to be hungry again and I figured she wouldn't eat unless Nessie did also. Both girls asked for it to be cooked raw at the exact same time, grinning at each other with a look of camaraderie. It was an odd silence while they all ate. Jacob did his best to drum up a conversation, but it always died out in awkward pause that never picked up again. I looked candidly at my normally talkative daughter who was carefully chewing each piece of her steak and avoiding my eyes. She knew something.

Another hour crept by with nothing to do but stare at the walls. Esme, in her worry, had cleaned the entire house until there was nothing left for me to do there, I didn't feel like reading; I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the words, and picking up my French studies held no appeal. The girls turned on the television and eventually fell asleep. I sat in the kitchen with Jake as he helped himself to another plate of dinner and lowered my voice, hoping the sleeping beauties wouldn't be able to hear us.

"She really can read your mind, can't she?"

"Yup," he said between mouthfuls. "Talked to Sam 'bout it, but he said it's nothing anyone up there has heard of. Guess it could be her power reversed. Maybe something to do with the... you know... makes us more open to each other? I really dunno. It's not like werewolves go and... you know... on part-vampires everyday."

I had no response for him so I stared down at his now empty plate.

Jake put his thumb under my chinned and raised it back to his level. "Bells, when was the last time you ate? Your eyes are black!"

My thirst came back with a vengeance at his words; it seemed like forever ago since I last hunted. My burning sensation was overloading me and I had to fight to push it to the back of my mind.

"I'm fine for now. We just need to get this over with."

I heard the almost silent footsteps of nine vampires moving closer to the house and then slowly and carefully each member of the Cullen family filtered into the living room with Tia and Benjamin close behind.

My family stood behind Carlisle in a V-shape formation, similar to a flock of birds. Not a single one looked happy, especially Edward and Rosalie, who held matching expressions of disdain. The verdict wasn't hard to guess.

"We've made a decision," Carlisle said. When he said "we" though, I knew his vote carried a lot of weight. In the vote for my own immortality, Carlisle went up against Edward and agreed to change me regardless of the fit Edward had over it.

Audrey had been around me all day and I hadn't even thought to ask her if she had considered my position again. Both she and Renesmee had jumped up at his words and were standing at attention.

I had only just met Audrey but it was not surprising when she turned to face Carlisle dead on. "Good."

One Month Later

I pulled up to the corner and Audrey got out slowly, holding the envelope against her chest. Her knuckles were transparent and I thought she looked a little shaky. Her eyes glanced around nervously, assessing where the pedestrians on the street were in relation to her. She pulled down the blue door of the mailbox, every ounce of her was full of hesitation. I could hear the woosh of the letter as it got sucked down the vortex of the box. Instead of letting go she stared down the black tunnel, the door still open.

She had labored over that letter, writing probably ten drafts, each one ending with a groan and throwing the ball of paper against a wall. Some were very long, some were only a jumble of emotions, a few times she never wrote anything down--just crumpled it up and threw the blank paper into the trash as if her thoughts had marred it in some way. She gave in to the fact that Edward could hear her thoughts so he would know what the letter said, but besides him, I was the only opinion she asked for. When she finally thought she had found the right words to say goodbye she carefully hand wrote the address on the envelope and fixed a stamp in the upper right hand corner. The edges aligned perfectly and she smoothed it over, as if it would make a difference. She stared at the letter for a while, but Edward wouldn't tell me what she was thinking about. From across the room I could see the small print perfectly clear:

Marjory,

I am not sure if you care or not, but out of consideration for the last 14 years I wanted to make this final. I am going away and you will no longer have to worry over me. I will be fine. I have found others who can accept me. Your love for your sister, for my mother, must have been great for you to take this burden on for so many years. I wish you the best in everything you do.

Audrey

The dark clouds opened up above us pelting the car with drumming beats of rain. The downpour woke Audrey up from her stupor in front of the mailbox and she made her way into the backseat next to Nessie.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

She wasn't sure if she had made the right decision -- that was obvious. There were two sides to her and this side won out at the end. She was right, it was her life and she had to pick which one to follow through with. I had no more say in it than Edward did when I asked to be changed. Maybe when we crossed paths again one day I could ask her more openly about her choice and whether or not she regretted it. But now wasn't the time.

I looked up at the rear view mirror and adjusted it so I could see her face and found myself again lost in her blue eyes, hoping with all of my heart that she would find the same peace within herself as I finally had.