Longing
Song: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
Fang
I awoke from a peaceful dream to a perfect morning. My bag was packed with freshly-aquired food, and my clothes were somewhat clean. And yet, despite all this, I was miserable. There was a Max-sized hole in my heart, and it needed to be filled.
What I wouldn't give to have her by me right now. The answer : nothing. She was probably busy hating me right now. The last few days had been good to her, before I left. Regular showers, clean clothes, food readily availiable, our Flock not in immediate danger. But still, in the tranquil chilly morning, it doesn't matter.
What I miss about her?
Her face when I tell her secrets.
Her expression when she's defending one of the Flock.
Her fighting moves.
Her kisses, and anything where she proves that I don't deserve her.
Her jokes (even if they're not funny).
This list could go on forever, you know. But somehow making these lists made me miss her less, the aching pain dull until I'm forced into another day's bright revenge on my wishful thoughts. It's like wanting something badly, like to see a friend who you had a crush on, or a grandmother who died recently (not that I have experience with these things. I don't.) but you can't go see them. Half of yourself is holding you back, while the other half urges you on, cracking the whip for you to return.
I won't. I'll fight my own heart. You know when people tell you to follow it?
Well, in this case, it could get me killed by a heartbroken teenage mutant.
Fun.
But that doesn't mean that the pain goes away. No, it gets worse, of course.
It's an unquenchable longing, to be with her, to see her, to anything as long as its relatively near her.
Know the feeling?
"But I'll miss your arms around me..."