AN: Once again, all characters and dialog in italics belong to Stephenie Meyer.

I wish to thank everyone who has stayed with me through this story. I only have two chapters left, and then this story will be finished. Thank you all for the kind and encouraging reviews. There were a few times when I tempted to give up on this story because of how hard it became to write and because there appeared to be a lack of interest in the story. I kept at it though because of the reviews I did receive, though they might have been few on some chapters, each one encouraged me to go further, so my thanks again to those who took the time to review.

Chapter 25 – The Proposal

I had Bella half way home when I heard Emmett's roar of rage over the television, and his indubitable warning, "If you know what's good for you, you won't come home."

I wasn't about to respond with Bella on my back nor would I tell her what I heard. Instead, I enjoyed the warmth that flowed off her body as she clung tightly to me and concentrated on finding a way to stall her change. I had worked out the solution to the television even before we left the house, but Bella's decision and Carlisle's promise would take more time to find a workable way around.

I had to find something Bella wanted more than being changed. 'Good luck,' my mind taunted me. I knew she wanted to stay with me and that wasn't a problem because I had no intention of letting her go. Now that I knew she loved me, I was going to be a permanent fixture in her life. Of course, Charlie was not going to be happy with that idea, but I would find a way to win him over. If only he realized how much I truly loved his daughter; that his daughter was the only person I ever loved or ever would love. For me, there was no maybe or if; the love I felt for her was permanent and it would never change. Of course, there would be limits with her as a human, but I could accept that, for now. But how to get her to accept that and to delay what might be inevitable that was what I had to find an answer for.

It was truthful to say my mind tried a multitude of rational options to present to Bella, but Bella didn't seem open to rational ideas lately. If she had been, she wouldn't have turned to 'extreme sports' as a way to stay connected to me, or to hear my voice yelling at her.

I finally decided rational options were out and I would have to look for something less logical, maybe something more down to earth and simple, but as we neared her house, I was no closer to coming up with a workable option as I had been when Carlisle had made the promise to change her after graduation. Graduation! That was just too soon; I wasn't ready for this. There were too many human experiences Bella would miss, too many that still awaited her, the nearest of which was college or finding out she could love someone other than me.

What if I agreed to allow the change to occur and then she discovered someone she loved more than me? Could I accept that, and more importantly, would Bella hate me for not finding some way to delay her change and for ruining her chance at happiness and a normal life? Normal? That word would have made me laugh at a less serious time. 'What about Bella,' I asked myself, 'had ever been normal? Could Bella survive a normal life? Would Bella be happy with a normal life?'

Maybe the one thing I hated the most about being a vampire was the fact that my mind worked over time on thinking about everything there was to think about. It was too bad that, with all the excessive thinking I did, I couldn't find a solution to the problem that faced me.

As I reached Bella's house, I didn't bother to slow down as I reached her wall and scaled it. As we entered her room, I disengaged her arms from around my neck and gently sat her down on her bed. I began pacing as I continued to think of some way to stall the event that was going to happen after graduation. I kept asking myself, 'What would she want more than being changed by Carlisle?' and then I asked it once again.

From her bed, Bella calmly commented, "Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work."

"Shh, I'm thinking," I replied as I once again asked myself 'What would she want more than being changed by Carlisle?'

I heard her groan as she threw herself backwards on the bed and then promptly pulled the quilt over her beautiful but frustrated face. I instantly moved to her side. I didn't want her hidden from my sight. I had waited too long to look upon her lovely face to have her hide it from me now. I felt a slow ache creeping into my heart as I realized she was hiding herself from me. I didn't want her to ever feel like she couldn't or didn't want to look my way. I definitely didn't want to miss anymore time not being able to see her precious face. Even if she was disgusted with me, I wanted to look upon her loveliness and to watch her changing expressions. Besides, the only way I had of telling what she might be thinking or feeling was to watch her expression; her mind might be totally closed off to me, but I was darned if I would allow her to hide her decipherable face from me.

I quickly pulled the covers back to discover what she might be thinking or feeling, and then naturally took my place beside her on the bed. I felt this was my rightful place and I never wanted to relinquish it ever again. I had honestly missed lying next to her while we had been apart. Seeing her hair partially hiding her exquisite face, I gently pushed it aside.

"If you don't mind," I softly informed her, "I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand." While I spoke I also realized that if I wanted to know what she wanted, I should just ask her. "Now . . ." I hesitated only momentarily as I wondered if she would answer my question, "tell me something."

I wasn't sure if she would answer my questions as she replied, "What?" as if she was unwilling to share some answer with me.

I decided I needed to ask this in such a way that she would be willing to answer the question without feeling like I was pushing her in some way. So, choosing my words carefully, I asked, "If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?"

I felt as if she didn't completely comprehend my question because she simply responded, "You."

I shook my head realizing she didn't understand that I was referring to Carlisle's promise, I replied, "Something you don't already have."

Besides, whether she believed it or not, she was now stuck with me because I had no wish to ever leave her again. My overpowering obsession was to stay with her forever, so whether she knew it or not, I was on the verge of giving her what she desired. I didn't intend to lose her or have her lose me, so there was no possibility of her not having me. Even if she finally decided she didn't want me, she still would never totally be rid of me. She might discover that she could survive without me in her life, but I had ultimately discovered that I could no longer survive without her as part of my existence. No, she need never fear that she might lose me again, I would be a permanent a part of her life as the moon was a permanent part of the night, and as constant as the sun rising in the east every morning.

I watched her adorable face as it worked more carefully through my questions. The way her expression shifted and changed as she thought made me crave a peek into the inner workings of her thoughts, but it was something I knew I would never achieve. Finally, she parted her delicious lips as she made her reply.

"I would want . . ." I waited as her eyes locked on mine, "Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me."

'Something to bargain for,' I thought quickly and then asked, "What would you be willing to trade for that?" Maybe, I thought, just maybe I could find a way to stall this long enough for her to know what she really wanted in life.

Disbelief flashed in her eyes and without any hesitation she replied, "Anything."

I fought the smile that twitched at my lips trying not to show my copious pleasure of her answer as I offered, "Five years?" Plenty of time, I thought, for her to discover what she would really be sacrificing if she became a vampire.

The expressions that manifested themselves in her face warned me I would not be so lucky as to receive an instantaneous yes.

To help her not lash out at my request, I reminded her, "You said anything."

"Yes, but . . . you'll use the time to find a way out of it. I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human – for me, at least. So, anything but that."

In all honesty, I did have to admit that she had a point about the danger of being human, for her anyway. The time span I offered wasn't agreeable to her so I asked for what I considered the next best, "Three years?"

Bella's paused slightly, but I was sure she wasn't going to agree, so I waited for her offer.

"Six months?" she countered.

It wasn't enough time for her to learn what she would be losing, so I replied, "Not good enough."

Very determined she said, "One year, then. That's my limit."

"At least give me two." I still pushed for a longer span.

"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I."

This hadn't worked out like I hoped, so I gave myself a little time to ponder what it was I was really hoping for. It wasn't that I wanted to drive her away. In fact, I wanted to be sure she was willing to stay with me after she had been changed. I honestly didn't ever want to lose her. I was willing to bind myself to her forever, but did she want that as well. Then I realized what it was that I really wanted – to be bound forever, like Alice and Jasper, or Emmett and Rosalie. I wanted Bella to be mine and only mine; I wanted her as my wife, so that was what I would ask of her, a commitment that would tie us together forever.

"All right," I started, "Forget time limits. If you want me to be the one – then you'll have to meet one condition." I thought, 'this should be easy. What girl doesn't want to marry the one she loves?'

"Condition?" Bella seemed unsure of wanting to agree; her tone was even and gave away nothing of her feelings. "What condition?"

'Would she understand why I was asking this?' I wondered. 'Did she love me enough to really tie herself to me forever?' I was suddenly unsure of her response so I offered myself hesitantly, "Marry me first."

She made no reply, but just stared at me like she was expecting something more. Finally she asked, "Okay. What's the punch line?"

She thought I was joking. Didn't she know I wouldn't joke about something this serious? Maybe she didn't really love me like that; maybe I had been right all along and her feelings were not as strong or permanent as mine. My heart sank at the thought.

Maybe, I sighed, she just thought I wasn't serious so I said, "You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it is a joke." More than anything, I didn't want it to be because she didn't love me enough to marry me.

"Edward, please be serious."

If she only knew how serious I really was; when the thought first came to me I easily saw her dressed in white with her lovely dark hair framing her face. I knew whatever dress Alice would choose for her would absolutely highlight Bella's best features. And then my mind flashed to the wedding night and I realized would have problems moving away from the idea of intimacy with Bella. I could not tell her what I had been envisioning, but maybe I could prove my honest desire for this event with words. "I am one hundred percent serious," I said as I stared longingly at her with my heart open and my mind serious about what I was asking.

"Oh, c'mon, I'm only eighteen." She sounded as if this were too serious for her.

'But what had she expected?' I wondered. Changing her was as serious and permanent as anything could get; did she honestly think I would change her and not marry her? I wanted to grab her and shake her and say 'but if I change you now you will always be eighteen' and then ask, 'does that mean you will never want to marry me?' Instead, I remained calm and tried to keep my voice light as I replied, "Well, I'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time I settled down."

Bella turned away from me before she said, "Look, marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Renée and Charlie."

I could have laughed at the comparison. She wanted – literally – a kiss of death from me, and yet she saw marriage in the same light. The only difference between her parents and I was that I would never love her any less if we were married.

"Interesting choice of words," I stated.

"You know what I mean."

This was really making her uncomfortable, and it made me wonder, once again, if maybe she didn't love me enough to make such a commitment. I took a deep breath before I said, "Please don't tell me that you're afraid of commitment."

"That's not it exactly," she began and then paused. "I'm . . . afraid of Renée. She has some really intense opinions on getting married before you're thirty."

And what exactly, I wondered, would her mother say about Bella's alternative choice for her future. "Because she'd rather you became one of the eternal dammed than get married," I commented.

"You think you're joking."

I realized she was serious about what she was saying. I had to find out if she really was determined not to marry me now or ever. "Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a martial union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire . . ." I could only shake my head in disbelief before commenting, "If you're not brave enough to marry me, then –"

"Well," she stopped me in mid-comment. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?"

She was challenging my sincerity, and I was determined to prove to her I was serious. If this was what it would take, I would carry through with the plan, but I wasn't sure if she would willingly go along with the idea, so I replied, "Sure, I'll get my car." Of course, Alice wouldn't be happy with an elopement.

Under her breath, she muttered, "Dammit." I had called her bluff and she knew it. "I'll give you eighteen months."

Time was of little interest to me at the moment. I liked the idea of being married to Bella; she would be mine and there would no longer be any threat that someone would come along and steal her from me, and the best part would be allowing myself to complete all the fantasies I've had about our relationship because I would no long have the fear of breaking her. "No deal," I said, smiling as I relished the thought of her being Mrs. Edward Cullen. "I like this condition."

She dealt me a blow by throwing out her wild card. "Fine, I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate."

It was a low blow in my opinion, but then I wondered if she were really willing to give up the one thing she said she really wanted. I tested her by pretending it didn't matter as I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "If that's what you really want."

Bella emitted a slight groan as she said, "You're impossible. A monster."

I didn't think she really meant that, but the truth lay within me because buried deeply was a monster, a monster who still craved her blood, but sometimes not as much as the man within me craved her. I laughed as I asked, "Is that why you won't marry me?"

Her response was another groan.

The idea of being married to the love of my life, my one and only soul mate, was an extremely pleasant feeling, yet she was rejecting my proposal. A proposal I meant with my whole heart; I was in earnest as I leaned forward staring deeply into her eyes as I pleaded, "Please, Bella?"

All she had to do was say yes, and I would have done anything for her. I watched her as her eyes glazed over, but then she shook her head and I knew I was being rejected yet again. Maybe I had gone about this all wrong, so I asked, "Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?"

Her response startled me. In a near shout she replied, "No! No rings!"

It was enough of a shout to rouse Charlie from his sleep. "Now you've done it," I softy warned her.

"Oops."

"Charlie's getting up; I'd better leave." I knew he would be irate if he found me in Bella's room, and I couldn't have told him I had followed his orders and not stepped foot through his front door. There would be no way to explain how I had been able to come through Bella's bedroom window without letting him know there was something unusual about me.

I also noticed my comment caused Bella's heart to pause momentarily. I instantly knew she was afraid I'd leave and not come back. Her reaction actually encouraged me after her rejection. Being rejected made me feel as if it were possible that she didn't want me around, but her reaction to my leaving was a reassurance that she did want me around, so I offered an alternative. "Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?"

Her eagerness pleased me. "No – stay. Please." She wanted me if she refused my proposal.

I smiled lovingly at her just before I disappeared into her closet. Her closet was rather cluttered and I bumped into a sack off to the side and wondered what was in it. I decided I would have to ask her about it later, but for now I could hear Charlie's worried concerns about Bella and the shouting he had heard. His thoughts went back to earlier when he would be aroused in the night by her screams and cries, and he was afraid they had begun again because of my return. He also feared a return of her other state when I left again. I wanted to reassure him that there was no way I would ever leave his daughter a second time, but now was not the time to make my presence known.

I heard Charlie slowly opening Bella's door.

"Morning, Dad."

Charlie was surprised to find her awake and embarrassed at the same time. "Oh, hey, Bella. I didn't know you were awake."

Bella's voice remained calm, and it would have been hard for Charlie to discern from her voice that she had just been conversing with anyone she shouldn't have been. "Yeah. I've just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower." I heard her moving around, so she must have been getting up from her bed.

"Hold on," Charlie stated as the light went on in the room. His thoughts were all concerns about her welfare and a fear that there would be a repeat of the trauma she suffered last fall when I left her, except in his mind it was a desertion and a betrayal. "Let's talk for a minute first." From his thoughts, I knew his first concern was her well-being. "You know you're in trouble."

I could tell it was more a statement rather than a question from the tone of his voice. He was also reminding himself not to yell, but to be patient and to allow her to tell him herself what had happened.

"Yeah, I know."

"I just about went crazy these last three days." His thoughts became a jumble of the conversations and phone calls trying to find where she had gone. "I come home from Harry's funeral, and you're gone. Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when – or if – you were coming back."

His last comment caused him to remember his concern that she might be hurt, or even worse, lying dead somewhere and he wouldn't ever be able to find her. I experienced the panic he felt when he realized he had no way to locate her; his first reaction was to post a missing person report, but he finally decided to wait a few days before taking such a drastic step. He had hoped she would at least call him and explain where she was, but she never did, and then, when she finally arrived home, she was with the last person he would ever again welcome into his home.

"Do you have any idea how . . . how . . ."

His deep concern stopped him from finishing what he wanted to say. It had hurt him deeply to think he had lost her forever. This was how he would feel when he did lose her, for that is what would really occur when she was changed. He would never be able to see her after the change; he could never again know that his daughter was still existing but not human. Did Bella, I wondered, truly comprehend how much this would hurt him when she was really gone?

"Can you give me one reason," he began again, "why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?"

He didn't really want to send her anywhere, but he was offering her the opportunity to assure him that she wouldn't do this again, and he was hoping she would inform him that she was through with me forever. He would have no luck with his second hope; the fact that Bella preferred me hiding in the closet rather than leaving her room was evidence enough for me that she would not send me away because of anything her father said.

The determination was very evident in Bella's voice as she replied, "Because I won't go."

"Now just a minute, young lady –" Charlie's mind was shocked at her blunt refusal to do as he said. He tried calming himself by reminding himself that he was still her father and the parent in this relationship.

Her interruption of him also caused him some concern because he suddenly remembered last fall when he tried to send her to Florida with her mom. He had a clear image of Bella screaming and throwing her clothes around her room and then finally breaking down into heart wrenching sobs. The vision was so graphic of Bella pain that it caused my heart to ache knowing I was the cause of the scene that just played through Charlie's memory.

"Look, Dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want."

Charlie's thoughts were bolstered by the fact that she was at least willing to admit what she did was wrong.

"I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too – but that won't make me go to Florida."

Charlie was mentally patting himself on the back until Bella mentioned him 'kicking her out,' and was extremely disturbed when she said she still wouldn't go to Florida. He wanted to ask just where she thought she would go, but he was also afraid of the answer he would receive.

I heard Charlie's breathing becoming deeper, and he was reminding himself that it would not help matters if this turned into a yelling match. He knew that once Bella had made up her mind she wouldn't change it. He reminded himself of how constant she was. 'Once determined, always determined,' he mentally stated.

Once he felt he was calm enough to continue, he asked, "Would you like to explain where you've been?"

It was the one question Bella had asked me and we hadn't talked about. I don't think either of us realized she would need to come up with a story this soon.

Bella stumbled along as she said, "There was . . . an emergency."

I had to refrain from laughing as I thought, 'Some emergency. I was bent on killing myself because I thought she was dead and she had to risk her life to stop me from doing something stupid.'

I heard her breathe out heavily just before she continued, "I don't know what to tell you, Dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand."

I could concur with that. It expanded way out of hand because I believed Rose and then heard Charlie was at a funeral and jumped to the conclusion it had to be Bella's without taking time to confirm any of it. I should have called Alice when this all began. I should have done a lot of things differently beginning with – I should never have left in the first place. All water over the dam now, and poor Bella was struggling to tell her father what she could without telling him she endangered her life to save mine.

Bella stated again, "See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff . . ."

I instantly knew that was a mistake. Charlie's mind went into immediate shock and could only repeat 'jumping off the cliff.' It was all that would register for him.

Bella's slight pause, I figured, must have been caused by something she saw in Charlie's face, but she finally choked out, "I guess I didn't tell you about that. It was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake."

She was making a valiant effort to rectify her mistake, I thought, but Charlie's mind was still wrapped tightly around the phrase 'jumping off the cliff.'

Bella began speaking faster as she added, "Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to . . . L.A., to explain in person."

Bella could have stopped speaking after the comment 'kill myself' because Charlie stopped listening. Between 'jumping off the cliff' and 'kill myself,' all he could muster was the fact that Bella had been trying to end the pain she had been experiencing since I left. His thought caused a new ache of guilt to rip through me as I wondered had her pain been so unendurable that she might have seriously consider doing away with herself. Charlie and I, at that moment, were sharing the same concern that maybe jumping hadn't been an accident but a deliberate attempt at harming herself. I wanted to jump out of the closet and ask her just that, but Charlie's next comment stopped me.

"Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella?" The concern was extremely evident in his voice.

I realized I stopped breathing as I awaited her reply. I thought Charlie would be the one person that she would be totally honest with, especially after hearing the concern and dread in his voice as he asked the question I had wanted to ask even as we sat in the waiting room of the Volturi.

"No, of course not."

It was a very determined and honest answer that I heard, and I found myself sighing with relief to know I hadn't caused her to make an attempt on her life.

"Just having fun with Jake. Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time. Like I said, nothing."

Charlie, for his part, didn't think it was nothing. He realized these kids had grown up cliff diving, but for Bella it had been something she had never done before. For an instant, Charlie's anger turned on Jake for allowing his daughter to partake in something that was so dangerous for her. 'Even if he didn't think it was dangerous, Jake should have known better,' he thought, 'than to allow Bella to attempt something she had no prior experience doing.' Then his mind flew back to me, as he wondered why any of that should have concerned me. I was the callous one, to him, who had deserted his daughter in the woods and caused the men of Forks to go out searching for her.

This was news to me since I had left her on the edge of the woods within sight of her house. How she had ended up lost in the woods was a mystery to me.

I was brought back to the present as Charlie shouted, "What's it to Edward Cullen anyway? All this time, he's just left you dangling without a word –"

Bella interrupted him yet again. "Another misunderstanding."

If only, I thought.

His mind darkened at the prospect as he asked, "So is he back then?"

"I'm not sure what the exact plan is. I think they all are."

She was right, we were all back, and I wasn't ever leaving her again.

But Charlie's thoughts turned in the other directions. His one wish was that I would disappear off the face of the earth and never see Bella again.

"I want you to stay away from him, Bella. I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I won't let him mess you up like that again."

And his mind was once again envisioning Bella as she lay unmoving on her bed with tears streaming down her face and a vacant look in her eyes. Even from the memory he had of that time, it looked like Bella was a hollow pale shell, and I felt Charlie's pain as he stared at her knowing there was nothing he could do to help her. His next memory was of being awoken in the night hearing her agonizing screams ripping through the silence of the night. Once again, I felt his pain of not being able to ease Bella's suffering. It was no wonder he hated me and claimed I was not good for her. If his memories were correct, then I caused her nothing but severe heartache and sorrow.

Guilt at what I caused her overwhelmed me. She should never have forgiven me for causing her such pain. I would never forgive myself for harming her. I never realized my leaving would hurt her so much. All I had wanted was to do what was best for her, to make things better for her; it had seemed so right at the time. How little we seem to realize that sometimes what appears best ends up being extremely wrong, and then, to top it all off, instead of being safer, she made friends with a werewolf.

Bella brought us both out of past memories as she curtly replied, "Fine."

Charlie's first reaction was joy as he thought she was agreeing with him, and my first reaction was a stabbing pain of fear about losing her once again because of Charlie's anger.

"Oh," he said in a relieved tone. "I thought you were going to be difficult."

"I am. I meant, 'Fine, I'll move out.'"

Her words caused relief for me but distress, this time, for Charlie. I didn't want her to end up in a fight with her father over me. I had hoped it wouldn't come to a battle between the two of them, but at this point, it seemed they were both as determined to win this argument.

In a softer tone, Bella continued, "Dad, I don't want to move out. I love you. I know you're worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?"

Charlie realized Bella was serious about what she was saying, and she was determined to make a point of her feelings. He had hoped her feelings would shift from me to Jacob when they had begun to spend so much time together. He felt she was safer with Jacob Black. If he only knew what Jacob Black was, and how unstable he could be, he might realize that in all truthfulness, she was safer with me because I had better control of what I was than Jacob had of what he was. I had to feel sorry for Charlie because there was so much being hidden from him by Bella and by Jacob and me. If he knew the truth about both of us, would he choose either of us as a safe escort for his daughter, let alone a safe boyfriend?

Charlie focused on the fact that Bella had handed him an ultimatum and it didn't make him happy, so he replied, "That's not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay."

"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am." Her voice was confident and strong; maybe she was finally accepting the entire truth that I would never leave her again.

"Not under my roof," Charlie bellowed, and he really meant that. If it were totally up to him, I would never set foot in his house again, I would never be allowed around his daughter again, and I would be run out of town by the good people of Forks because I had so seriously hurt his only daughter.

"Look," Bella sighed and retained some of the composure of calm in her voice, "I'm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight - or I guess it's this morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."

I wanted to add, locked at the heart.

"Bella –" It was almost a plea on his part, but she cut him off.

"Think it over," she stressed. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy? I really need a shower."

Charlie was not happy and he stressed his feelings by slamming the door as he left and muttered under his breath how he would not happily welcome me back into his home, and if I did one thing to hurt his daughter, he would physically throw me out the front door.

I exited the closet the moment I heard him stomping furiously down the stairs, and still fuming mentally about what Bella had said about her and me. His last thought before I stopped focusing on them was, 'Renée is going to kill me. How am I ever going to be able to tell her that Bella is seeing that boy who broke her heart last fall?'

I was already in the rocking chair as I watched Bella throw back the quilt. I watched her and admired her beauty and her grace.

So Charlie wouldn't hear, she whispered, "Sorry about that."

She had nothing to be sorry about. Charlie had made me aware of just how much pain I had caused her. "It's not as if I don't deserve far worse." In fact, if she were to admit the truth, we would both agree I deserved much more berating and pain for what I had put her and Charlie through these last few months. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please."

Still barely above a whisper, Bella replied, "Don't worry about it," as she gathered up her necessities for the bathroom. "I will start exactly as much as is necessary, and not more than that. Or are you trying to tell me I have nowhere to go?" She turned to me with a mock look of shock on her face.

It would be useless for me not to say yes because just about everyone else would welcome her with open arms, and honestly, I would also. Besides, it would be dangerous for her to go anywhere else; I was not letting her take up residence on the La Push side of the line. But I could not help but ask, "You'd move in with a house full of vampires?" knowing darn well she would and she wouldn't think twice about that fact.

"That's probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides . . ." she gave me a huge smile, "If Charlie kicks me out, then there's no need for a graduation deadline, is there?"

She would think of something like that, and it didn't make me the least bit happy. "So eager for eternal damnation," I mumbled under my breath, but she heard me.

"You know you don't really believe that."

Her comment surprised me. I had told her how I saw our time after we ceased to exist, so how could she claim I didn't believe it. "Oh, don't I?" I shot back so as to remind her of my opinion.

"No. You don't," she replied with conviction.

I wasn't sure where her conviction came from, so I only glared at her, and just before I could utter anything about my feelings, she cut me off.

"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't – you said, 'Amazing. Carlisle was right.' There's hope in you, after all," she finished with a smile.

She was right, I realized. The instant I had wrapped my arms around her, I thought I was in heaven and looking upon the face of the angel I loved and thought I had lost forever. There was no argument I could make to refute what she had just said because she spoke the absolute truth.

Then she added, "So let's both just be hopeful, all right? Not that it matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven."

She was right. As long as I was with her, I was in heaven. She was my angel and she made anywhere that we were together heaven. I got up from the chair, walked over to her, and put my hands on either side of her angelic face. Looking deeply into her lovely bottomless brown eyes, I vowed, "Forever."

She replied, "That's all I'm asking for," and then stretched up on her toes to press her warm lusciously sweet lips against my cold but welcoming ones. Her kiss tasted of her sweetness and love, and it reminded me of everything I loved about her. I would have continued the kiss, but relinquished her lips so she could take the shower she actually needed, but I dwelt on all the renewed feelings after she left, and contemplated what it would have been like if she had said yes to marry me and just what rewards I would have received from her afterwards. I felt the smile left by her kiss widen as visions of pleasurable future possibilities played across my actively fertile mind.

17