"I still search

For you in crowds

In empty fields

And soaring clouds

In city lights

And passing cars,

On winding roads

And wishing stars

I wonder where

You could be now,

For years I've not said

Your name out loud

And longer since

I called you mine -

Time has passed

For you and I

But I have learnt

To live without,

I do not mind-

I still love you anyhow."

-Lang Leav

FOUR

(7 Years Later)

The wind is strong today as if it was talking and wants to be heard. I feel her in the air, sometimes even, I see her standing before the Ferris Wheel.

The train stopping distracts me from my thoughts.

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you" I didn't have to look to know who it was. Her voice makes the sides of my lips pull up into a smile.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"It's her birthday" Even though I didn't mention it, she knows I'm talking about Tris. She sighs.

"It's your son's birthday too, Four" she says. I look at her now. Her eyes were showing worry. In what? I don't know.

"I know" I say, silently. "He's waiting for you." she tells me. I feel guilt tugging at my heart. We stay silent, not looking at each other. Looking everywhere but each other.

"Tris isn't here anymore, Four. It's been seven years. You have to let go" I didn't know I've been holding on for that long. Haven't I let her go already? I look at her. She was already pleading . I shake my head, I couldn't do it. And that's when I realize that my I was still holding on. I couldn't let her go.

"I can't" I whisper under my breath though I know she hears me. My knees buckle and crashes on the grass. I let myself cry. My wife kneels beside me, stroking my back, letting me cry.

"She's your first love. I get it, Four. But I'm here now" she tells me. I look over at her. How could I not think about her? I have a perfect wife, a son.

I love her, them.

I loved Tris.

"You have to forgive yourself for what happened. You know all too well that it wasn't your fault" she tells me. I keep quiet. I don't know what to say. What should you even say?

"You let her go when you let her walk away seven years ago, Four. Do it again. Here. Now." I shake my head. I couldn't bring myself to do it. She takes my hand and covers it with hers. "I know it's asking too much of you, but you have to move on." She stands up. I follow after her. Her hand is still wrapped around mine.

We walk towards the Ferris Wheel.

Getting closer to it, I feel Tris's presence more.

"Let's do this together" she tells me. I look at her and she has this warm smile on.

"Are you ready?" she asks. I shake my head. Again, she smiles. "I'll give you time." She lets go of my hand and walks closer to the Ferris Wheel. I observe her as her hands touch the controls. Her hands find their way to the keyhole where Tris's pendant fits. This was my gift for her. I remember it all too well.

My mind starts to wander back to the past.

"I've seen this" she says and I'm taken back to the present.

"There's a pendant like this hanging on the lamp back at the apartment."

I just nod.

"It was hers right?" Was.

I just nod.

She walks towards me, takes both of my hands and bites her lower lip, grinning. I look at her, curiously.

"You never give me gifts like this, Four" she fake pouts.

"Find me a broken carousel and I might just fix it for you" I joke. She laughs. She lets go of my hands and runs towards the Ferris Wheel.

She looks like a little girl.

She looks like Tris.

And then I see her, smiling at me, Tris.

It wasn't a ghost, not even an apparition. It was a memory.

(8 years ago)

Tris drags me towards the Ferris Wheel. She lets go of my hands once we're near it.

"Come on, Four. Catch up" I don't but still, she waits for me.

"What are we doing here?" I ask her. She ignores me. She runs towards the Ferris Wheel with her arms wide open. As cliché as it can be, I run towards her and wrap my arms around her waist. She leans back and hugs my arms.

"I could stay here forever" she tells me. I smile and though she can't see it, I know she knows I'm smiling.

"This could be how my heaven looks like" I feel a tug at my heart at the thought of her dying.

"Scatter my ashes here if I die." she tells me. "What if I die first?" I joke.

"Then we both die together" She leans back and tries to look at me. I look at her.

"If you die, I die with you. I wouldn't be able to live a life without you, Four" she tells me and I feel my cheeks burning. It also doesn't help that my heart is beating in a really fast pace.

"If I die before you, Four. You can't do the same. You have to move on and live your life"

I stop.

"I don't want to be the reason you won't get a life" she tells me. I open my mouth to say something but then she stops me, again.

"Promise me, Four. Just promise me that." She holds my hand and looks at me. "I promise" she smiles.

"You'll have a beautiful wife and beautiful children" she tells me as she encircles the field. She was trying to tell me something but I really wasn't listening.

(Present)

"You'll have a beautiful wife and beautiful children" My minds rings with the information. I really had to let Tris go. It's all that she wants after all. My wife was looking at me, her head tilted, maybe waiting for me to do something.

"I love you" I tell her. She smiles.

"I know you do" I roll my eyes and her and she silently laughs. I look back at the Ferris Wheel. The sun was about to set already. I feel hands wrap around my waist.

"I love you too, Four" my wife tells me. I smile.

I still see Tris by the Ferris Wheel, her dirty blonde hair flying in the wind, smiling. I don't know if this was already the ghost but I let her go. I open my heart and let the strings wrapping around Tris be cut. My heart aches as I feel myself slowly letting go of the person I first loved. I release her. I evict her from my heart. Because if I don't do it now, I might never will.

I offer my hand to my wife and she takes it.

Hand in hand, we walk towards the railways, waiting for the train to come.

"I love you, Tris" I whisper faintly towards the air. I see my wife smiling beside me as she clutches my hand. I feel the air pick up and faintly, I can hear an I love you back.

(7 years ago)

"Ready, Four?" Christina asks me. I look at the Ferris Wheel, standing with it's great beauty. I shake my head.

"Don't worry. We're here for you" she tells me.

"I'm not the only one who lost someone, Chris" I tell her. She smiles. "But you lost too much" she tells me and walks towards Will who was already at the base of the Ferris Wheel with Peter and Uriah.

As I take steps closer towards the Ferris Wheel, I feel the urn getting heavier in my hands. I feel tears pouring from my eyes down my cheeks. This is the first time I cried ever since she died. The people around me let me. I remember everything about her, all the memories. The feel of her hand on mine, her smell, everything about her. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You have to do it, already." Peter.

I stand up and walks towards the base. I open the cap of the urn slowly as I feel the wind pick up. I didn't have to dump the ashes, it floated with the wind and it was encircling the Ferris Wheel. It's as if Tris is still here.

Christina takes my hand as we stare at the unmoving Ferris Wheel.

I feel her in the air.

I see her all around.

She was gone.

But she's everywhere.

FIN

A/N

So, that's that.

I'm really sorry if you hated it. But yeah.

Anyways, reviews?

HAHA.

The reason why the wife is unknown because I want you guys to think anyone could be possible for it. Anyone at all. It could be Lauren, Kat, yourself. I don't care. It's your choice who you want Four to spend the rest of his days with.

I hope you enjoyed the story as much I enjoyed writing it.

Until next time.

-E.