The conclusion of Round 4. Only one more to go.
Chapter 24: Cat Fight
"Haha, go Dad!" Xavier cheered.
"You can beat him!" yelled Caesar.
"Shove those goggles where the sun don't shine!" Tianna added.
"This is quickly turning into a real battle of attrition SQUAWK! Both masters have strutted their stuff, but now we'll see who has enough! Hey, was that a rhyme? I wasn't even trying for that! Man, I'm good at this job!"
"Strutted my stuff?" Kuai asked, grinning unpleasantly. "Oh, please. You think that's all I've got?"
Reidak frowned, unimpressed. "Are you saying there's more to this Fleetfoot of yours?"
"You know it! Let's see how confident you are after this move!"
He vanished once more and Reidak rolled his nonexistent eyes. "You sure seem like a one-trick pony to me."
But this time was different. The spectators watched as Kuai rapidly blinked in and out of sight, appearing all over the arena.
"Ugh, stop it already! You're going to give me a migraine!"
Reidak watched him as well, in his own way, observing Kuai's movements from the vibrations running through the metallic floor. He readied himself for another attack, and was perplexed when it didn't come. Kuai was indeed appearing all over the place, but seemingly without purpose, as he wasn't getting anywhere close enough to attack. He soon realized however, that there was a pattern to his movements. The cheetah was, in fact, running in complete circles.
It was soon after he made this observation that the pattern abruptly changed and Kuai ran straight for him. Unfortunately, his opponent had been right about one thing: There was no way he would be able to avoid such fast attacks. He could only block. Raising his clubs to form a shield, Reidak braced himself.
It wasn't enough. The kick that Kuai threw broke straight through his block and nailed Reidak in the chin. The tiger was thrown violently into the stands, and several spectators had to scramble out of the way as he crashed down.
"Guys, I appreciate the audience interaction in this trail, but can we tone it down a bit? Seriously, if we get sued, I swear I'll somehow make you pay the damages SQUAWK!"
Kuai finally skidded to a stop, literally creating a streak on the ground as he did so. His smirk was even more insufferable than usual.
"How did he do that?" asked De Lu. "That kick didn't look any stronger than the ones the tiger already blocked."
"But it was," Mei Ling confirmed. "For once, all that running around wasn't just Kuai showing off. He was building up momentum, so that when he finally struck, the kinetic energy made his attack several times stronger."
"Hmmm, impressive. To be honest, that's a lot more foresight than I thought that cat had."
"I can see why you'd think that. Kuai's regular kung fu skills are just barely above average. But that technique he's invented...there's no doubt he has mastered it completely."
"In other words, it's a crutch," De Lu said disapprovingly. "Aren't kung fu masters supposed to not rely on one technique?"
"Yes, yes, I know!" Mei Ling yelled, frustrated with herself more than him. "I tried telling him that, but he doesn't care! He spends all his time just trying to improve upon Fleetfoot. He's never lost using it, so he has no motivation to build up his other skills."
"So basically, he's a sub-par master who just happened to stumble upon a real game-breaker of a technique. Hmph. Someone really needs to knock him down a peg."
"As much as I'd like to see one of my students win the tournament, I have to agree," she sighed. "Let's just see if this Reidak is the one to do it."
"Urrggh...that guy can really hurt when he wants to..." Reidak lifted himself up and jumped back down to the arena floor. That attack was not one he could just shrug off, and he showed it with the way he was now panting.
"Aww, is the little kitty feeling under the weather?" Kuai asked in mock sympathy. "Then it's time to get some rest!"
Kuai leapt above Reidak and came down on him with another kick. Reidak managed to block this one, but the kicks just kept on coming. Eventually, Kuai's legs both turned into blurs, but they continued hammering on him. Unable to block all of these lightning-fast kicks, Reidak took several more blows to the chest.
"Talk about a comeback! Right when Master Spotted Blur looked out of the running, he quickly turns things around SQUAWK! VERY quickly, I might add! ...Get it?...Because he's fast? Hmm, I think I lost my edge."
Reidak clutched his chest as Kuai gracefully leapt back to where he had been before. Yes, trying to play defense was no longer a viable strategy. Kuai had just proved himself capable of getting through anything he could put up. But then, attacking him wouldn't do much good either at the speed that he could dodge.
It was time for something new.
"Do you think Daddy will be alright?" asked Tianna, whose peppiness had drained quite a bit after that last exchange.
"Of course he will," Caesar nearly scolded. "You really think this govniuk can beat Father?" Tianna said nothing, but she didn't look reassured. For that matter, neither did the other tigress on the sidelines.
Po and Crane watched Tigress as she stared at Reidak apprehensively. They would've normally taken this opportunity to tease her again, but something told them that this would be a very bad idea right now. Even Lao Pi decided to keep his mouth shut.
"Don't you dare lose to this creep, Reidak. We still have a score to settle."
"What are you waiting for, Kuai? If you're such a big shot, then come at me," Reidak taunted.
Kuai growled and vanished.
"What is he doing?" Tigress asked, mostly to herself. "Hasn't he figured out that he can't win like this?"
It shocked everyone when Reidak ducked to the left and avoided Kuai's punch completely. The spotted cat had barely the time to gape before a club struck him in the gut.
"Urk! What the-"
"What's the matter, Kuai? Tiger got your tongue?"
"Shut up!"
Reidak ducked under a kick, then grabbed Kuai's leg and threw him across the room.
"I'm not entirely sure what's going on here folks, but it seems to me that Fearless Shadow has literally just decided to stop getting hit! Probably a good decision on his part SQUAWK!"
"This is impossible..." Kuai muttered as he stood back up. "How can you match my speed?!"
Reidak shrugged, as if he had no idea himself. "Well what do you know? Guess you're not as fast as you thought."
"How is he doing that? He can't seriously be that fast, right?" asked a flustered Crane.
"Why didn't you tell us your Dad could do super speed too?" Po pointed an accusing finger at Reidak's children.
"He can't," Tigress answered, without even looking at him. "What he's doing is actually very simple. Unable to keep up with Kuai's movements, Reidak is taking advantage of his ego. Kuai has shown several ways of getting through Reidak's defense, but when he gets riled up, he throws caution to the wind and attacks immediately. When you know exactly how your opponent is going to attack, then you can dodge it by simply moving out of the way ahead of time. But the dodge and the attack come so close to each other that it makes Reidak look faster than he actually is. His enhanced senses probably help with that, but mostly it's just Kuai being an idiot."
Tigress was subjected to uncomfortable stares once again.
"...I was just about to say that," Caesar spoke, a bit dumbfounded.
"What? I'm just paying attention. It doesn't mean anything!"
"It must be embarrassing to get outpaced like this, Kuai. So much for being the fastest kung fu master ever."
What was embarrassing was how easily this still worked. Reidak threw his knee up in the approximate location where he expected Kuai to appear and, sure enough, caught him under the chin mid-punch.
"You really think you've got me, don't you?" Finally realizing this strategy wasn't working, Kuai backed off and started to build up momentum again, allowing the tiger to refocus his senses. This too he had figured out a countermeasure for. Between all the clanging of metal and the vibrations in the floor, there was a certain rhythm in Kuai's circular movement. This rhythm would remain constant up until the very moment he attacked.
So when that rhythm changed abruptly, Reidak immediately jumped upwards. Kuai sailed past directly below him and crashed into the wall.
"I'm not sure what Spotted Blur's biggest enemy is in this match: Fearless Shadow, or the laws of physics!"
Kuai slowly fell backwards onto the floor, seeing stars. That last impact had left a sizable crack in his goggles.
Reidak looked down on him, in every sense of the term. He pointed one of his clubs at him in a threatening gesture. "Your technique is impressive, but it is wasted on a fool like you. Give up."
Kuai slowly rose back up again, having to use the wall of the arena for support. "How...dare you...! I...I won't lose to y-AGGH!" His muscles trembling in rage and fatigue, Kuai slipped and fell back down again. But as he did, his unsheathed claws raked hard against the wall, producing a loud, ear-splitting screech.
"AHH! We get that you're in pain, but you don't have to share it with the rest of us SQUAWK!"
"Oh no..." Tigress, who had indeed been paying close attention for a while now, suddenly felt a strong sense of dread.
"AGGGH!" Caesar roared from behind them, covering his ears. His siblings were instantly at his side trying to comfort him.
"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Po worriedly.
"Heightened senses aren't always a strength," Tigress said nervously. "That sound was merely irritating for us, but for Reidak..."
The tiger was hunched over, biting into his lip from the strain this unexpected stigma had caused him. The flash of pain went by fairly quickly, but unfortunately, had not gone unnoticed.
Before he could fully regain his composure, Kuai had leapt up and planted a flying double-kick to his chest. Reidak landed hard on his back, but quickly rolled back to his feet.
Kuai, who seemed to have gotten his second wind, looked quite proud of himself. "Hahaha, is this a joke?! You call yourself a kung fu master when something as pathetic as loud noises can cripple you?" He cracked his knuckles menacingly. "Oh, I am going to enjoy this."
Kuai shot forward and threw a kick at Reidak's head. He ducked under the attack as the cheetah flew over him and poised himself to counter. But as he landed, Kuai intentionally scraped his foot claws against the metal floor, producing another loud screech. Reidak was disoriented for just a second, but a second was all it took for Kuai to land a punch, then another, and another, his fists quickly turning into blurs as he pummeled him.
"It looks like the pendulum has swung in Spotted Blur's direction again! Fearless Shadow is looking to be in rough shape with this recent development!"
"Now he's done it," Mei Ling said, watching the tiger anxiously. "When Kuai finds a weakness, he pounces on it in an instant."
"Hardly what I'd call a fair weakness," De Lu said scornfully. "He's basically just taking advantage of a blind man's disability."
"It's all the same to him. All he cares about is winning this tournament, no matter what."
"Why? Why does winning mean so much to him? I know he's a cocky little punk, but that can't be the only reason."
"It's not," she snorted. "But if you're waiting to hear what deeper motivation he has, you're going to be disappointed."
Reidak staggered back and tried to refocus on his opponent, only to find that he was gone. His senses quickly picked up the cheetah coming at him from behind, but another piercing shriek shattered his concentration and he was rammed hard in the back. If he hadn't had such tough muscles, the blow could have broken his spine. He fell towards the ground, only just catching himself on one knee. Hacking violently, he coughed up some blood onto the floor.
Caesar, in a similar amount of pain, was no longer paying attention. The same could not be said of his siblings.
"Come on Father, you can't let him beat you like this!" Xavier called out.
"You have to win! You promised us you would!" yelled Tianna.
Tigress however, was torn. On the one hand, she most certainly did want Reidak to win. On the other hand, with the way he was getting battered out there, she wasn't sure if continuing to fight would be best for him.
But regardless of how she felt, Reidak continued fighting. It wasn't going any better for him. He made another swing at Kuai that the cheetah easily dodged and countered with an elbow to the side of his head. This time he couldn't keep himself upright and fell to the floor.
"I think maybe it's time you gave up," Kuai said threateningly.
Reidak tore off his bandana, if for no other reason than to give Kuai the most menacing glare ever made without eyes. "Go to hell."
Kuai grinned wickedly. This was clearly the answer he had been hoping for. "You first." He dashed backwards until he was touching the edge of the arena, then rushed at Reidak, bringing his leg back for one final strike.
"Kuai, ENOUGH!" Mei Ling yelled from the stands.
She was too late. Kuai launched his kinetically-charged kick straight into Reidak's right arm. There was a sickening crack, followed by an agonized roar that seemed to shake the whole building.
Reidak shuddered and collapsed, falling into unconsciousness. It was a good thing too, as his arm was visibly broken.
"DADDY!" Tianna cried. Caesar and Xavier just stared, horrified.
Tigress had a different reaction. "Damn him...!" His fists trembled with barely-controlled rage. "What was that about, Kuai?! You already won!"
The cheetah turned his head towards her, not looking the least bit repentant. "Hey, I gave him the chance to surrender, didn't I?"
The rest of the competitors saw what was happening and moved to restrain Tigress before she did anything brash. Po and Crane held her arms, Yin Bei had her ears around her waist, and Lao Pi had a firm grip on her tail. He only needed one hand of course. "Calm down young lady. If you attack him now, you'll be disqualified. Then you'll never get the chance to beat him. Is that what you want?"
"You should listen to the old fart. He's got a good head on his shoulders." Despite his words, it was obvious that he was still trying to goad her.
It was not going to work. Despite every animal instinct telling her to rip the cheetah apart, she managed to calm herself.
Disappointed, Kuai frowned and turned his head up to where Chaonao was hovering in place. The parrot had been uncharacteristically quiet for some time now. "Hey birdbrain, hurry up and declare me the winner already!"
Startled, Chaonao stiffened, then narrowed his eyes down at the cheetah for a moment, before finally conceding. "I don't think you all need a recap of what just happened...it speaks for itself. I'm not sure what to say about this, or even how to react, but the show must go on. And so, I must announce that the winner of Round 4 is...Master Spotted Blur."
No one cheered.
Kuai simply stuffed his paws into his pockets and walked back to the benches, so casually it was if nothing happened. Reidak's children all moved from their spots and the competitors froze, worried that they were about to attack him themselves. However, it seemed that Reidak has instilled his sense of honor into his offspring, as they only shot the cheetah brief glares before moving right past him and to their father's side.
Kuai was about to return to his seat without anything further when Tigress called him out. "You're just trying to hurt me, aren't you?" she asked coldly. "What the hell do you have against me?"
He stopped in his tracks. The feline's smirk disappeared as his expression turned serious. "It's not just you. It's all the masters of the Jade Palace. You ever notice that you guys are the only ones people ever talk about? It's always 'Dragon Warrior' this and 'Furious Five' that. The rest of us might as well not even exist. I work hard too, you know. What makes you so special?"
They were stunned. They had always wondered what Kuai had against them. Now they knew, and the answer was...incredibly anticlimactic.
"...That's it?" asked Crane. "That's the reason you hate us so much? Everything you've done here was just out of petty jealousy?"
"IT IS NOT PETTY!" Kuai stomped the ground, getting right in Crane's face. "You're the worst of them all, bird. Even my own master can't stop talking about how 'great' you are. But when I'm Wu Xing Champion and you're a pile of feathers on the ground, we'll just see how much she still values you." Without another word, he stormed off.
Mei Ling's head dropped, unable to even look at her own student anymore.
"Do you see now, Mei Ling?" De Lu asked softly. "This is the price of your recklessness."
Mei Ling said nothing, just nodded slowly.
Govniuk - Shithead (foreign swears are fun)
Kuai is one of those deceptively harmless villains. I intentionally made him out to be a total wimp and the constant butt of the joke throughout the earlier trials (and even in this one) while either not focusing on him (Wood) or handicapping him (Water) to hide how dangerous he really is. One challenge I had in writing Kuai was to delve into his backstory and motives WITHOUT making him the least bit sympathetic. I'm sure you'll let me know if I've succeeded.
A quick thank you to author Reidak for helping me out with this fight. Please don't hate me now.
Lastly, I don't usually plug my YouTube channel...ever...but since it's relevant, I should point out that I am actually making KFP videos now. So far, that includes co-commentaries on both films and a couple of LOA episodes (on the Berserker & Blunderbuss playlist) and analysis videos on both of the Chinese KFP3 trailers (you know, the good ones). So check them out if you want, and of course I wouldn't mind you taking a quick glance at my other vids as well. :)