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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE.

I went back into the staff room and threw myself on the seat. Louis looked at me and I looked back at him before speaking; "Do you really want to know why I started using drugs?"

He nodded and I glanced at Maggie. Then I brought my knees to my chest and began to explain to Louis why I used drugs, "I was fifteen a straight A student who actually went to school, kept my gob shut and did my work. I had a best friend Melody, Mel we called her. She had a boyfriend called Josh. I started seeing his best friend Scott. They were great guys."

"Is this actually going anywhere or is this just poor Lauren's lifestory?"

"Shut up." I answered, "Josh and Scott used Melody and me. They beat us up, raped us, sold us to their friends for sex. Then they'd inject us with drugs, mostly heroin but it was anything they could get their hands on. Melody and I — we struggled to go to school and act like it was all normal but — we had each other and that made it easier."

"Where's this so-called Melody now?" Louis asked and rolled his eyes. I actually wanted to go over there and smash his stupid, cocky face in. I didn't. I took a deep breath, looked at the floor and answered back;

"When we broke free from them, the damage was done. I had mum and dad, they helped me and supported me. They never once questioned what had gone on, just held me when I cried in the middle of the night. Melody, Mel had no-one. She sunk further into depression and committed suicide three weeks before our GCSE's were due to begin."

/

FLASHBACK.

"Mel, hold my hand." I told her. She gripped my hand and looked at me, her eyes wide in terror.

I squeezed her hand reassuringly, "We're going to be okay, I promise."

She smiled softly and for a moment, I saw the old her. The fun loving, bubbly girl I'd become friends with. As soon as it showed, it was replaced again by the new her. The one too afraid to do anything.

"On the count of three," I said gently, "one, two, three."

On three we jumped. The last thing I heard before I hit the ground was Mel's terrified scream.

/

"You see that's why I use drugs. It's a coping mechanism I guess. When the feelings of fear come back and slowly take over my mind, I go out and I get high. I just didn't realise that in doing so I was hurting everyone around me."

I looked at Louis, "That's why I worry about you Louis. You think you know the world but you don't. You're smoking cannabis and fine, it's not the worst drug in the world but it'll change. And before you know it, you can only function after injecting something stronger."

I bit my lower lip, "I don't want that for you Louis." I stood up from the chair, "I've confessed and told you everything. When you want to talk, I'll listen, just like you've listened to me."

There was nothing spoken, just silence and I left the staff room. I knew who I was going to see, once I had, I'd have no secrets. I saw Toby by the vending machine and as I walked towards him, I said gently; "Can we talk?"

He nodded his head and I smiled, "Canteen?"

"Yeah." As we walked towards the canteen, I linked arms with him. I was afriad that once I'd told him everything, he wouldn't want to know me but I guess it was a price I was going to have to pay.

/

I sat opposite it him, both of us had a coffee in our hands and I stared at the plastic lid and began to fiddle with it. There was a silence and he didn't push me to speak, he just looked at me and waited patiently.

After five minutes, I began to talk. I told him everything I'd told Maggie and Louis. When I'd finished speaking, I was surprised to find myself in tear. As I went to wipe them away with the back of my hand, he took my hand in his and squeezed it.

"Lauren I'm—" He began but I cut him off, "It wasn't your fault I chose to tell you."

"Why?"

I stroked his hand, "I took your advice and I told Louis. I decided to tell you too. That why our relationship has no more secrets, or lies."

He squeezed my hand again, "That's all I've ever wanted Lauren." He answered back and kissed me softly. As he did, I smiled softly, happy to have the one person who made me complete back in my life.

"Does this mean we're back together?"

"Of course." And he kissed me again, this time for longer.

/

And that was that. Toby and I were back together and nothing could go wrong right? Wrong. Something big was on the way just to complicate mine and Toby's relationship. Something scary but good. And if you guess what it is from that, well — you're smart.

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