"I remember you."
"Excuse me?" Cas asked.
"Cas, I'm so sorry," Dean said.
Dean was lying. He had to be. Cas knew there was a chance for regaining memory, but it was slim. He was just trying to make him feel better or more okay with dating again.
"Don't lie to me," Cas said.
Dean said, "Cas, I'm not lying."
Cas tried not to completely lose it. Why was he doing this?
"I can't do this," Cas said. He looked at Dean briefly. No, he couldn't do this. He turned and started to walk away. God, this had been a bad idea.
"Castiel," Dean called.
Cas paused and stared at him. "Where did you hear that name?" he asked.
Dean said softly, meeting Cas' gaze, "You told me. When we met."
He couldn't get his hopes up. He knew Dean would say anything to show Cas he was trying.
"So, Sam or Charlie mentioned it. Good to know," Cas said.
Dean shook his head and looked at Cas with his sad, green eyes, "No. I remember. I do, I swear. Why would I lie about this?"
"Because you want everything to be okay. I know you."
Dean sighed and held Cas' hand, "I told you when we first started dating in the back lot behind the Roadhouse. I knew I was going to hurt you. I'm so sorry, Cas."
Cas was about to withdraw his hand but stopped. He couldn't know about that.
"Dean?" Cas tried.
Dean kissed Cas hard on the lips and hugged him tightly.
"I remember. I remember walking through Millennium Park with you, I remember kissing you in the Roadhouse, I remember giving you a ring for Christmas and giving it to you again as a promise. I remember giving you half of my closet and filling it with the clothes I didn't wear and you seemed to like. I remember studying with you for classes," he said, "I remember falling asleep listening to you breathe. And waking up while you were still sleeping. I remember how excited you were when you started shadowing for your teaching position. I remember how upset you were when I told you that Gabe was dead to me after what happened with him and Sam. I remember those damned blue eyes of yours. I remember you. I'm so sorry."
He took a breath against Cas' shoulder shakily.
Cas was stunned. He didn't know what to say, but he felt like crying, and he definitely believed him. He had his Dean back. It was more than he could've ever hoped for.
Dean said quickly, "I'm so, so sorry, Cas. I can't believe I did this to you. I'm sorry for that stupid fight. I should've never walked away. I'm sorry."
Cas rubbed his back and tried to keep his voice steady, "It's not your fault. It's okay. You're back now. I love you."
"I love you, too, Cas."
Cas felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He missed hearing those words so badly. He felt like he was dreaming.
Dean backed away from Cas a step so he could look him in the eye. "I remember proposing to you, Cas. Let me do it right this time," he said.
Dean got down on his knees and held Cas' hands, "If you'll still have me, I'd still like to marry you."
Cas couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he smiled at Dean. This was more than he could have hoped for.
"Yes," Cas said, "Of course. Of course, I'll marry you. Yes."
Dean stood back up, smiling.
Cas kissed Dean repeatedly before hugging him tightly. This felt too good to be true.
"I missed you so much," Cas said, muffled by Dean's shoulder.
Dean hugged Cas back. "I'm not going anywhere," he said.
They stayed like that for a while, hugging each other in the early morning shine of Millennium Park.
After a while, Dean whispered against Cas' neck, "Come home with me."
Cas stared at Dean. Home. He could go home. But the look of pure affection in Dean's eyes told Cas he was already home.
When they arrived back at their apartment, words could not express how lucky Dean felt. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd had a fog in his head that had finally lifted. He remembered not remembering Cas, and it was seriously the most surreal feeling he'd had in his life. But all that mattered right then was Cas.
Dean kissed Cas hard on the lips as Cas tried to unlock the door. Cas kissed him back, and Dean pressed Cas against the door.
Dean had missed Cas terribly. And it was the weirdest feeling to know it was him that had been keeping them apart. Dean fully intended to worship every inch of Cas the second they got to the bedroom.
Cas ran a hand through Dean's hair as his tongue stroked Dean's, and he managed to fumble the key in the lock enough to stumble through the door.
They got inside, and it was all they could do to keep from having sex in the doorway. Screw getting to the bedroom. Cas kissed a slow trail down Dean's neck as Dean led Cas to the couch.
Dean lowered Cas down on the couch and straddled his fiancé while kissing Cas deeply. Dean's hand wandered up under Cas' shirt. Cas moaned against Dean's mouth. With that moan, Dean knew what he needed to do. He slowly inched Cas' shirt off of him, breaking the kisses only to lift the shirt over Cas' head.
"Dean," Cas sighed.
Dean grinned. Oh, yes. He knew precisely what to do. Dean pressed soft kisses into Cas' chest and stomach and upper pelvis, stopping at Cas' jeans.
"Did I tell you how hot you look today?" Dean asked, opening Cas' fly.
Cas grinned, "I think the word you used was 'attractive.'"
Dean adjusted to pull off Cas' jeans and boxers in one motion.
He leaned down to Cas' neck and murmured, "Attractive doesn't cover it. You're drop dead gorgeous today, baby."
Cas smiled at Dean as Dean removed his own shirt, pants, and boxers.
"And you were kinda dressed up today," Cas said, "Any reason for that?"
Dean resumed his position straddling Cas' hips now that they were both naked and said, "I didn't know what to wear, so I threw something together. I was a bit nervous."
Dean scooted back to kneel between Cas' legs as Cas laughed, "You were nervous?"
"Of course I was nervous," Dean said, smiling, "It was our second first date. Sort of a big deal."
"And how did our second first date rank?" Cas asked.
Dean licked his lips and grinned. He said, "You tell me."
Before Cas could say anything else, Dean had his mouth around Cas' cock, making Cas gasp with pleasure. Dean sucked gently, enjoying each and every aroused sound coming out of his fiancé's mouth. Listening to Cas fall apart told Dean which motions to replicate, which flicks of his tongue got the best reactions.
As Cas' penis started to throb, Dean released his fiancé with a small pop. He reached between the couch cushions and pulled up a small bottle of lube.
Cas, still catching his breath, asked, "Dean, why is there lube in our couch?"
"Oh, like I'm not going to watch porn on my hi-def TV," Dean said.
Cas rolled his eyes, but his expression was so blissed out, Dean couldn't quite take Cas' reaction to the secret lube too seriously. Dean put some lube on his fingers and, with one finger, slowly started prepping Cas' entrance.
Cas gasped and said, "I love you."
"I know," Dean said, grinning. As he slid his second finger in, eliciting a vocal response from Cas, Dean said, "I love you, too."
Once he felt Cas begin to relax, Dean put in a third finger for good measure. Cas closed his eyes and moaned. That moan was the sweetest thing Dean ever heard.
"I want you," Cas said. Dean slipped his fingers out and quickly slicked himself.
Slowly, Dean lined himself up and slid in.
Cas gasped and took a deep breath.
Gently, Dean started to move once he felt Cas had adjusted to the intrusion. His thrusts started small as he gazed at the look of ecstasy on Cas' face. "Marry me," he murmured.
Cas moaned a soft, "Yes."
Dean leaned in, kissing Cas hard, as he made each thrust faster, harder, and deeper. Cas squirmed, but Dean had done this enough times to know when Cas was in pain or just really enjoying himself. Softly, in time with each thrust, Dean used one hand to stroke up Cas' shaft.
"Dean," Cas gasped, "Are you trying to kill me?"
Dean kissed Cas instead of answering and used both hands to pull Cas' hips closer to him to intensify the next thrust. A loud moan ripped from Cas' throat, and Dean knew he had him close to the edge. Dean was close, himself. So, he did it again. Cas gasped, and Dean quickly resumed giving Cas a small hand-job.
"Dean," Cas moaned, "Jesus."
Dean kissed him hard and full, invading his mouth slightly with tongue, while still stroking and thrusting. Within seconds, Dean reached his release inside Cas. Using his free hand, he ran his fingers through Cas' hair.
Cas cum spilled over Dean's other hand and onto their stomachs with a small cry. Dean pressed against Cas once more before pulling out completely and stroking Cas' cheek and neck with his dry hand.
He kissed Cas softly again and again, luxuriating in the feel of Cas' lips.
Cas slowly pulled back and looked at Dean.
"I love you so much," Dean whispered, staring into Cas' lust blown eyes.
He lightly nibbled Cas' earlobe and watched as Cas' soft skin erupted in goose bumps.
"I remember that," Dean said, smiling.
Cas sighed with mock frustration and pulled Dean back down into a deep, full kiss. "Dean," he said as they broke the kiss, "We're a mess."
"I'd say so. Don't move," Dean said. He got up and grabbed a hand towel from the kitchen.
"But we clean with that," Cas protested.
"And we're cleaning with it," Dean said, wiping his stomach off, "We can wash it later."
Cas sighed but kept smiling at Dean. Dean knelt next to the couch and used the towel to wipe Cas' stomach down gently. After it was clean, Dean pressed a light kiss to Cas' stomach and smiled at him.
"This reminds me of that time we did body shots at that gay bar," Dean said.
Cas laughed, "Oh, God. I thought we promised never to talk about that. And if you'll recall, I did the shot off of you, not the other way around like this."
Dean grinned and kissed Cas' stomach again.
Cas, returning the smile, said, "So, that was...unexpected."
"I missed you," Dean explained.
"I missed you, too," Cas said, "And don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the sex, but don't you ever get shot again."
Dean sighed, "About that...I'm strongly considering quitting my job."
"What?" Cas asked, sitting up, "Really?"
Dean nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm not usually in harm's way at work, but after all of this...I was thinking about it a few weeks ago, actually. Being a cop comes with risks. It might not have been why I got shot, but I'd really rather not go through all this again."
"What are you going to do for work, then?" Cas asked.
Dean shrugged. "Well, I do still enjoy working on cars. I could go back to doing that," he said.
Cas seemed to understand when he said, "If it's what you want, I'll help however I can."
"Thanks, Cas," Dean said.
Cas looked at Dean and almost cautiously asked, "Dean, do you remember what happened when you got shot?"
Dean nodded. "I remember most of it," he said, "Benny was there. There was a kid who tried to mug me. Then, I heard a gunshot and felt really funny. Next thing I knew, I was at the hospital, but I didn't remember getting shot then. God, this is confusing."
"Benny was there?" Cas asked.
Dean nodded.
"Well, that would explain how he got to you so fast, I guess," Cas said, "He kind of saved your life."
Dean really needed to thank him when he got the chance.
"We should probably call Sam and tell him you got your memory back," Cas said.
"Yeah, we should, except it's really late, and we're naked on our couch," Dean pointed out.
Sam would probably want to know regardless of the time, but it was really very late.
Then, it hit him.
Sam.
Shit.
"Cas, we need to go over there right now," Dean said.
Cas furrowed his brow in confusion. "Why?" he asked.
Dean pulled his pants on without boxers and grabbed his shirt. He said, "I went to Sam's before I called you. Luci was there."
"What?!" Cas asked, alarmed. He grabbed his clothes quickly.
Dean pulled his shoes on as Cas haphazardly hopped a leg into his jeans.
Dean grabbed his phone and called Sam as they hurried to Dean's car.
Sam's voicemail kicked in immediately.
"Fuck," Dean said, turning on his Impala.
Cas clicked his seat belt on and asked, "What is it?"
"No answer," Dean said.
As they sped towards Sam's apartment, Dean prayed that his brother's phone was dead and that all else was fine.