"District 4 is my favorite District to visit, besides 1 of course. I just love the ocean, it's so pretty don't you think?" Aelia said, the comment more directed at Cashmere and Gloss.
"I've always been disappointed in 4." Gloss said.
"Why?" I couldn't resist myself, and it seemed that Copper too was now listening with rapt attention.
"I used to think 4 was like us, that they trained and were all strong, but when we got there I found that only one village even had a training academy, and every other village were peace loving pansies." Gloss spat.
I tried to cover my smile as I ate dinner. I didn't eat lunch, and I was a little bit hungry.
"Ovidia have you traveled out of the Capitol before?" Aelia asked and it took me a second to realized she was talking ot me.
"No. This is my first time." I said quietly.
"Well I'm sorry you got such a bad impression with 12 and 11, don't worry the districts only get better." Aelia told me, and I wanted to comment on how I liked 11 and 12, but I held it in. I wasn't helping my image as a capitolite.
"It's sad I only get to spend a day in each District. I feel like there is so much more to see." I sighed.
"Oh there is, but don't worry, maybe you can get a job as a stylist or an escort." Or maybe we can defeat the capitol without destroying the rest of the districts, I thought to myself, as Aelia tried to reassure me.
"Maybe I will." I sighed.
Aelia started a dull conversation with Cashmere about the latest capitol fashion and what she should wear to the big ball at the capitol. Gloss was lightly engaged, laughing or making a comment every once in a while, but Copper and I were completely cut off from the group.
"So do you take walks a lot back at home?" He asked, and I had a feeling he meant in 13, I'd barely had enough time to tell him that I was saved by Finnick and put into a hovercraft and shipped off to 13, let alone what thirteen was like.
"No. There isn't room, it's mainly underground." I told him so quietly, I don't think the microphones I located underneath the table could hear us.
"Well are you enjoying the fresh air?" He asked.
"Yes, very much." I told him, nodding.
"You should take me next time." He told me.
"I already told you." I huffed.
"Yeah, but you were lying." He whispered.
"No. I don't want you to come." I told him stubbornly.
"You're hurting my feelings." He pouted.
I didn't have to answer him, because it seemed like Aelia's attention was back on us.
"Ovidia, The capitol has been absolutely smitten with your new natural look, but I was wondering if I could see your outfits so that we could make you and Copper match a little bit better?" Aelia asked me.
"Sure do you want me to bring the dresses somewhere?" I asked her.
"Yes please, if you could just drop them off at the stylist's area, it's a 6 compartments down from here, and it's in the second room." She told me. I nodded.
"Before you go to bed I need both of you for an hour or so. The president wants to take photo's of the two of you." Aelia said.
Before I knew it, I was posing in the clothes I had worn today and yesterday, in front of the camera. I was smiling, and so was Copper, but it was incredibly annoying.
It was a lot longer then an hour, and I was tuckered out by the time Aelia finally let us go. Copper's arms never left my waist, even when the camera's were long gone. I was to tired to say anything. I slipped out of his grasp, and collapsed on my bed when the whole thing was over.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and I stared up at the ceiling. I listened for any signs of the trains movement, but instead it was eerily quiet, and the absent of noise sent my nerves in a frenzy.
I couldn't remember my dream, but the awful feeling my gut, and my racing heart let me know it was terrible. I was to awake to go asleep now, and I couldn't help but look out the window. I slipped the curtains open but I couldn't see anything, the low lights in the cabin reflecting my face.
I looked even more different then the person who stepped on this bus. My contacts looked brighter, and my face more full. I couldn't help but feel that someone from 4 wouldn't recognize me from the start of the reaping until now.
How many changes have I gone through? How many people have I become? I shook the thoughts out of my head, I needed to stay focused on my goals. I needed to win. I needed to push all stupid thoughts aside to rise victorious.
How many careers have thought the same thing? How many careers have justified killing children mercilessly with the need to survive?
I will not be a career.
I will not be lose.
I will not give up.
I ended up falling asleep, only to be woken an hour later. I packed my bag, and was escorted with Copper to the stylist's area.
The stylists worked feverishly. They were trying to perfect the "Natural look" something that I'm sure they've never attempted before, and I ended up just offering to show them what I knew. They were appalled by the little make-up I used. I showed them I just covered up my freckles, and put eyeliner on. Thankfully they let me go after that. I came into the breakfast cart considerably later then everyone else.
Despite the fact it was winter District 10 must be warm or something, since everyone, myself included was dressed light. I was only wearing a light yellow dress and some sandals, which required the stylists to give me a french manicure on my toes.
I stood by Copper, and he laced his arm around me. We walked out into the train station, waving. I was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of camera's. I didn't realize how televised the victory tour got when it started moving away from the outer districts, and towards the capitol. Copper seemed even more stunned, and I had to pull him up the stairs, and onto the stage, where thousands of people just stared at us, their sullen and skeletal faces watching our every move.
When the prep team, the mentors and Aelia all went to sit down, I did too, but Copper didn't release me, forcing me to stand up at the front acting like nothing's wrong when in truth, I was freaking out.
This was the capitol's first real look at me, this is when the Capitol will see the resemblance, or totally miss it. This stupid action of Copper being to afraid to face thousands of people alone, could consequently end my life, or result in me being holed up somewhere underground being hounded for information.
I still smiled, and looked into the camera's. When the short and dry speech was over, we both bowed, and retreated back into the justice building where we were treated to a nice meal. We danced around aristocratic topics, like the government at 10, life in 1, and how it all compared.
It was funny how little they expected me to know about the government, but as they discussed things that seemed harmless, I was learning a lot.
For example, if Snow where to die, next up in line would be his son Aquilon, who apparently has no military experience.
Which would only become a problem because the military leader at the moment, has no obvious successor, as he doesn't seem to be needed. The Capitol has no ordered way of voting, and Aquilon who has no real knowledge of government systems, or leadership qualities, will leave the Capitol without away to organize an army.
Nobody flat out said this, but they didn't need too. Side comments, complaints and body language said it all. The way the Mayor would tense, and look at Copper and I once in a while when Aelia made a comment about government let me know it was a weakness. Then when she would complain about how he went to parties all the time, and didn't follow in his fathers footsteps at all let me know he was incompetent.
I knew that tonight I would have to use the microphone jammer one more time to alert 13 about all of the new things that I learned. This would be incredibly vital in the defeat of the capitol, if we can strategically send out assasins killing all of the major powers of government leaving the capitol crippled in leadership we can have a clean surrender from them.
It wouldn't be bloodless since there was already death in the freeing of 11 and 12, but it hopefully there would be no bombs, fires, attacks, or any other terrible killing spree's.
When the meal was over, I walked into my room, and grabbed the bag. I left before Copper even came in, successfully avoiding the awkward confrontation that was guaranteed if I stayed. I slipped out of the train, and I walked into the poorest part of town. I gave out food, and my bag was empty in less then an hour, despite how little I gave to each person.
I was left standing in the middle of the town, facing all of the small homes, empty handed, and I still had a while before the train left. I still wanted to help, since there were still many families who had received nothing from me.
I wondered around for a while, no disturbed me as I kicked the rocks on the path, or hummed lullabies. I walked around until I found a mother, with children clinging to her legs, sitting on a stump, washing clothes. I remembered washing clothes with my mother as a child, and I walked over to the woman.
I was surprised to see she looked young, maybe in her early twenties. Her oldest child looked to be about six, and he was running around her, begging her to play with him. Then she had a little girl, 4 or 5 maybe sitting next to her and crying. She had a young baby lying in a basket wrapped in blankets by her feet. I stared at the family.
I was terrible with children, and I all around didn't like them. They cried and screamed, they were annoying and a lot of work. I never saw the point in having children.
But I knew I could help with the laundry, so nevertheless I walked over to the woman, and sat across from her.
"Do you need any help?" I asked her, and she looked up, her blue eyes burning holes into my contacts, like she was judging my whole life with one glance.
"Sure." She said, giving me a basket full of clothes, and another stump.
"You're the Victor's girlfriend right?" The woman asked. Her voice was soar and raw, like she had yelled a little to much, and she gave off a feel like you couldn't lie to her.
"No. I'm just his friend." I told her, picking up a faded red dress, and cleaning it with her soup, careful not to make a whole in the thin and delicate fabric.
"Friends with benefits?" She asked skeptically.
"No. Just friends." I told her.
"What's your name?" She asked.
"Charlie." I told her, walking over to her clothesline and hanging up the red dress, it was probably for her young girl, as it was to small for her.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Sable." She sighed.
"Are you actually from the Capitol?" She asked as I looked down at the large blue shirt, a men's shirt.
"No." I whisper quietly, like someone might here me, despite the fact that I was in the middle of a field next to a log cabin, doing laundry.
"I didn't think so." She sighed.
"Anyone can walk around giving to other's, food they didn't grow, money they didn't make, toys they didn't buy, but only the true givers can help. Only they can come empty handed somewhere and work, work for nothing but the satisfaction of others." She sighed.
"Thank you." I smiled, and she just nodded, and we worked in silence for a little while before I spoke up.
"Do you love their father?" I asked motioning the children. She looked at their faces.
"Yes. I do." She sighed, as if reminiscing better times.
"When did you know that you loved him? Were you ever unsure of him?" I asked her, and she searched my face, as if she was trying to solve a problem, one that was deeper than the make-up covered skin.
"Yes, in the beginning, but he proved my every doubt wrong, and when the last worry left my mind I realized I loved him, and trusted him." She sighed, and we finished the laundry and the sun was setting. I got off the stump, and I hugged Sable. I looked at my knuckles, and even though, I had done the same amount of laundry that Sable had, my knuckles were read and raw from the hot water, reminding me that like Finnick and Annie months ago, before the tour, before District 13, and before the games, my skills that I had gained in 4 were becoming rusty. I was becoming prissier and prissier.
"I know you're working for something much greater, bigger and better, but don't forget, every person you kill has a family, a mother, someone who loves them, every casualty comes with a lot more then that person's death. If you forget that, you'll be no better then them." She said, as our goodbye, I nodded and waved her words echoing in my mind long after I entered the train.
I came into the dinner cart quietly. I hadn't made an impression on most of the people in 10, but it didn't matter I realized, no matter what I did, the rebellion wouldn't be fueled by me. It would be fueled by the taste of bitterness the capitol's selfishness leaves in everyone else's mouth. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Charlie can we talk?" Copper asked when I walked back in.
"Yeah, we can." I told him, and for the first time, I didn't run and hide from the topic of our relationship, I embraced it.
"I know you don't trust me, and you still think I'm using you, and you're using me... but I think we should still try, try and make it work. I'm tired of this all, I just.. I miss having you stand by my side, even if it was for such a short amount of time." Copper sighed.
"I think we should try it too. I-I'm just still not sure." I told him, and he advanced on me. Remembering the previous night when he cornered me, my heart went into a frenzy, but instead he hugged me. It was a warm and sweet hug that reminded me of teddy bears.
My heart calmed down and I was able to enjoy the hug, and I took a deep, relaxing breath. We didn't let go for a while, embracing the feeling of raw human affection. Not the forced kind, or the kind tinted by the artificial capitol, captured on camera and televised to the whole nation.
When we pulled apart, he looked at me for a second before pulling me to his side, and I once again had the feeling of being a trophy, but simply dispelled it.
"I think we should go to dinner, Aelia will be worried about you." I smiled, and we both walked out of the compartment.
We walked down the hall, and we sat down. Copper placed his hand on my knee, almost in a reassuring way. I talked politely to everyone, as we held a smooth and basic conversation talking about food, and I even laughed a couple of times.
I began tapping my foot and running my hand through my hair as the conversation dragged on, and the sun set. When the alcohol came out, I used it as an excuse to leave. Copper followed me.
"I'm gonna head to the bathroom." I told him. I turned the shower on, and I locked the door. I took a deep breath and looked at the phone, as soon as Finnick picked up, a jammer signal would initiate. I pressed the contact for him.
Finnick picked up immediately and I smiled, my heart calming down at his voice.
"Charlie. You're alright, we've all been stressing out here." He sighed.
"Yeah, I'm fine. But hey, I have something to tell you, before the capitol realizes that we're blocking the microphones." I told Finnick. I explained the conversation we had at lunch, naming the people we needed to wipe out's full name.
"I'll talk to Coin, but Snow is untouchable Charlie." Finnick sighed after hearing what I learned.
"So how are you liking the tour so far?" He asked.
"All of the Districts are just so sad, no matter how hard I try to help, it just seems like it's never enough. There's always someone who I couldn't get to, or I ran out of materials, and now they're barely surviving. Or they're people who've succumbed to the knowledge that they're going to die... and I feel responsible. It's like, I'm holding the Capitol accountable for treating all the Districts poorly, living selfishly in the naivity that everything is alright, but I'm doing the same. Finnick, I had food everyday, maybe not enough for each meal, but I had food. I had glass windows when it snowed, so that a fire would keep me warm... I was alright.
But these people have nothing. They barely have a meal a week, I don't know why they haven't rebelled sooner, this is terrible." I breathed, telling Finnick.
"I know, It's crazy, but you aren't doing nothing. You've done all you can, now you're helping them, and you didn't know before, I promise. You're nothing like them." Finnick reassured me.
"But did you ever think that most of the people in the Capitol don't know either? That maybe... maybe if we show them, show them the pictures of starving children, and bloodied, bruised and killed parents, they might rebel against the Government too?" I asked slightly hopeful.
"Charlie, it's a brilliant idea, but these people have been descendent to the pain of others. We're like fish to them, they don't see us with feelings or with pain, we're just something to thrive off us." Finnick told me.
"Have you ever thought that we've become less aware of their feelings too? Even Sharks feel love and pain Finnick. You yourself should know that above all. You came out Victorious in the Games, you rose above all, you became the capitol to 24 districts, but you still feel pain." I told him.
"I... it's not like that Charlie. These people live in superficial lives, getting rich off of people who can barely feed their families, people who go to sleep with empty stomach's at night." Finnick tried to explain.
"Finnick, they're people too." I told him, frustrated that he wasn't understanding what I was trying to tell him.
"We need to go, but please, stay safe. I'm gonna put you on speaker phone. Ashton's here." Finnick said, and I heard the dull murmur of people talking.
"Hello." I said, leaning against the wall of the bathroom.
"Hi! Charlie we miss you tons!" Ashton exclaimed, and I laughed.
"I miss you too." I told them lovingly.
"Goodbye." I said.
"Goodbye." Everyone in the room echoed, and I hung up.