Disclaimer: Castle Belongs to Andrew Marlowe and ABC America.

Happy New Year!

Upload Date: January 12, 2012

Chapter Rating: T

Chapter Summary: Based on the sneak peeks and spoilers for 5x10. Beckett confronts Castle about a secret he's been keepin from her. Set at the end of the episode.

#38

"Well," Castle sighed as the walked through the door to the loft, "that was a sufficiently depressing case. I think I'll hit the hay."

"Not so fast, Castle. We have to talk."

He cringed.

"Do we really?"

"Yes."

"Is it absolutely necessary?"

"Yes!"

He nodded slowly. "Ok. Look, Kate, I don't know how many times I can apologise. Meredith's leaving in the morning, why we can't we just forget this whole thing - ?"

"I can't forget it, Castle. Today I discovered something. Something you've been keeping from me."

"Kate, what are you talking about?"

"I thought I knew you pretty well. And I accepted all of it, the good stuff and the baggage, just like you did with me, and we both know I have my fair-share of baggage. Turns out, I was wrong about you. You're not the man that I thought I knew."

Castle felt a rush of nausea at her words. "I told you not to let her get to you. Listen, Kate, whatever Meredith told you - "

"She told me the real reason that you divorced."

"And you believed her? What did she say, that I wasn't there for her, that I smothered her, I was over-bearing...?"

"She told me the truth. About her affair with her director, about how she was the one to leave you, about how you followed her, tried to get her into counselling with you."

"Oh."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I guess it never really came up."

"'It never came up'. Why didn't you bring it up? I thought that was one of the things we do now: we talk about stuff, we don't just keep it inside."

"I wasn't keeping anything inside, I just..."

"What?"

"I just didn't want you to think less of me," he blurted.

She stared. "Castle, why would I think any less of you?"

"You said it yourself. I'm not the man you thought you knew."

"Yeah, I meant you're not this ladies man play-boy player guy. I mean, this whole time, I just thought you'd changed, grown up since you met me - "

"That's true."

"Maybe in some ways – and so have I. But... there's been this cloud hangin' over my head, like maybe, you'd revert back to who you really are, but today I realised, this is who you really are. This loyal, kind, amazing steadfast man who got his heart broken a few too many times and decided it wasn't worth trying to make a real relationship work."

Castle smile and then sighed. "Maybe you're right. I just... I still don't understand, y'know? Why I wasn't enough. Why we weren't enough. We could have been a family. She could have been a great mother, I mean, the last few days proves it, she's not completely inept when she puts her mind to something, and she really does love Alexis."

"Well, maybe you should ask her, before she leaves. Get some closure."

"Maybe I should. You were right before. I need to grow a pair and just tell Meredith what's appropriate."

"No, I – y'know, you're not my property, I shouldn't be acting like some school-girl who doesn't want anyone else playing with her favourite toy."

"Oh, I don't know, I think that might have its place.'

She smiled in spite of herself and rolled her eyes.

"Look, I still think Meredith shouldn't have manipulated you... but she's the mother of your child. She's going to be a part of your life forever. And... look, I don't ever think you're going to stop being you – and I don't want you to. You're generous and kind and a good father and I love you for that."

His ears perked up at that part.

"That's right. Yes. I just... hate to see someone taking advantage of how amazing you are. You shouldn't let people walk all over you."

"Hey, there's only one person I wanna let walk all over me."

"I don't know, Castle, that sounds a little too kinky for my taste."

Castle smirked.

There was a pause.

"So, we're good?"

"Yeah, Castle. We're good."

"And you love me."

Her mouth spread into a shy grin. "Yeah," she admitted, inching forward to wrap her arms around him.

"Good, 'cause Meredith wants to go shopping with you before she leaves."

Beckett's face dropped. "What?!"