To Survive: Terminus Coalition
Chapter 24 : Comforter
"Gosh, Tali. This bag weighs a ton! You wear the same suit everywhere you go, and yet you pack heavier than me." Kasumi complained, as she lugged Tali's bag into the cargo hold to be loaded up later, into their incoming shuttle. Tali was beside her, carrying a case that contained her shotgun, along with other less portable weapons that they would need. Kasumi kept her pistol and submachine gun in close proximity at most times, but Tali often put her shotgun in its case when it wasn't going to be used for a long period of time. She didn't expect to need it on their trek to the Flotilla, but she was smart enough to consider all possibilities.
"Please, Kasumi. That bag has some very expensive tools inside. I keep them with me whenever I go travelling for extended periods of time. Clothing has never taken up much room when I travel." Tali explained, as they trudged deeper into the hold.
Kasumi was not accustomed to that answer, "Do you really want that to be the case? I don't know, you could still wear shoes over your suit, don't you think?" Kasumi asked.
"There wouldn't be any purpose in doing that. The portion of my suit that covers my feet has padding on it." Tali laughed, through the stained breath of all of the weight she was carrying "It would be a waste of resources." She dropped the case with a thud, and slid it nicely against the wall.
"You're still a girl, aren't you? We get shoes because we want to, not because you need to. Just don't tell Shep that, and he'll probably believe that you found out they were super useful or somethin'." She joked.
"I don't get it, Kasumi. Why would I want something I don't need?" Tali asked, still smiling at the odd conversation with her friend. "Back on the Flotilla–"
"Oh, you'll get it. I'm going to make sure you get it, so we can go shopping together, and do all that kind of girl crap. I suppose we won't be doing any of that on the Flotilla, but maybe we can find something on Omega. Remember, you're not on the Flotilla, but on your husband's ship. He gives you a portion of the credits that the royalties from the salvage produce, just like the rest of us. Even if you do pool your money, or something, he still wants you to spend on yourself sometimes."
"Omega?" Tali responded with disgust.
"Oh, come on! They might have something." Kasumi answered hopefully.
Tali stopped in her tracks, and Kasumi reacted to her by mimicking her actions. Tali had caught a glimpse of the windows overhanging the bay, out of the corner of her eye. She managed to spot her beloved John, waving like a fool, with a potent smile stretching across his face.
Kasumi looked up to see the odd sight as well, and giggled like a schoolgirl.
"I swear that he's normal… well… most of the time." Tali kidded, embarrassed of the dopey face that John was giving her.
Shepard turned his head sharply behind him, and returned it again to look at Tali with a smile. No doubt, the elevator he was waiting for had arrived. He left their sight swiftly, and Tali braced for more embarrassment. It was odd to see Shepard acting like that, but he was probably just doing it because he was bored. It was clear that without Garrus, Shepard had no one to be stupid with. She agreed to herself that she'd try to fill that role to the best of her abilities, while Garrus was gone. More often she just tolerated his antics, and he did his own thing.
Kasumi was giggling from the comment Tali made moments ago, and stopped to counter her before Shep arrived. "I actually found it kinda hot." she jested, earning herself a small fist to the shoulder from Tali.
Tali didn't like to hear people talk about John that way, even if it was only playful. Somehow, hearing it from Kasumi had felt less threatening than she would have expected. The more time they spent together, the closer Tali felt with Kasumi. The voyage they'd soon embark upon would likely cement their sisterhood even further, but it was comforting to see Kasumi beginning to feel like family. She always thought of her as somewhat of a sister, but her body's natural tendencies and feelings never seemed to get the message. Instead she'd find herself jealous, or angry with her, when it was only her sense of humour. What was nice was that she was now beginning to feel like family.
The elevator door whooshed open, and Shepard stepped out, looking jovial despite their coming separation. Perhaps he was keeping his mind off of it, but it made Tali feel slightly isolated. Despite looking forward to spending more time with Kasumi, it wouldn't replace having John beside her. Recently, they had both been very busy, and further separation was the last thing she wanted. Even standing across from him then, pondering the coming inevitability was enough to constrict her chest.
"What's going on, ladies?" Shepard asked.
Kasumi stepped forward and raised her hand, "Packing!" She yelled, with an ironic excitement.
Shepard met her hand with his own hand, in a thunderous high-five. Kasumi saw no harm in encouraging Shepard's behaviour, and it was fun to act a little abnormal. She too missed Garrus, but the truth was that the missing crewmates effected everyone onboard.
"Well, Tali. Why don't we spend the evening together, hmm? We'll all go up and have dinner, and then we can… you know… say goodbye." Shepard suggested.
Kasumi answered, while Tali tried to cool her blushing. The euphemism was not that subtle, due to his hesitation… well, and incessant eyebrows. "Don't get all shy on me, Shep. We're all adults here."
Tali thought that was the perfect setup to call out Shepard's childish antics, "I think John's proved otherwise, Kasumi."
"Ha, ha." John said in mock laughter, though he truly enjoyed the little quip.
Tali paused, dealing John a stare that he didn't seem to notice. "That's fine, John. We just have a few more things to grab, and then we'll meet you up there."
"Sounds good." Shepard responded. He saluted, and turned to leave by the elevator. Both the girls followed suit, but were heading up to Kasumi's quarters to grab her shoes. Tali thought that a whole case of shoes may be too many, no matter how many resources Kasumi thought was appropriate to waste.
"Please tell me: you're here to inform me that Shepard has been seen entering the Pangaea Expanse, heading through the relay in search of the overrunning Rachni." The Illusive man groaned, as Jackson entered the large observatory. His hand was resting on his fingers in a clearly annoyed stance. His other hand dangled beside his comfortable chair, holding a half-used cigar with smoke wafting off in clouds. "I'm not in the mood to discuss failure."
"No, sir. I could come back later if it's better for you." Jackson answered, since the Illusive man had made it quite clear that he did not want to be disturbed.
"Don't be an idiot, Jackson. Tell me what you came here for." The Illusive man replied, perturbed.
"Well, sir. We've tracked down some information on the Reaper artifact in the Alliance' possession, but none of our attempts to extract information further have been unsuccessful. They seem to know how to counteract our hacking methods quite effectively." Jackson informed. "We've only ever used these particular hacking algorithms in a few isolated places before."
"Here's what we're going to do, Jackson, and listen up because I'm not going to repeat myself. We're going to send a team in to test our new armour prototypes, and we're going to extract the artifact by force. Yes, and we aren't going to stop there. We're going to hire out a pirate faction to capture some Rachni subjects for us. It's about time that we continued researching the hell-spawn. We need to learn as much about how the queens control their young as we learnt about how they communicate in general."
"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think I was around when you studied the Rachni before." Jackson replied, hoping to get some clarification on what the Rachni were capable of. Truthfully, the knowledge of a resurgent Rachni kept him up at night. The stories he heard of the beasts were utterly terrifying, and he did not wish to live through them, himself.
"Speak to one of the scientists if you want to learn more, I've got better things to do than tell you nonsense that you can look up on your own."
"Of course, sir. A question about the armours."
"Fine, what is it?" Jackson's boss retorted sharply.
"What happens if the men are killed? We don't want the Alliance getting ahold of our technology."
"You're really slipping, Jackson. Maybe you should come back when you're a little more informed. Hell, next time bring me a gun in case I feel like shooting something when you ask me a stupid question." The Illusive Man answered snidely. His heightened sensitivity was caused by the spiraling downfall of Cerberus. The Illusive Man was irritated, and it wouldn't take much to send him into a rage at this point. It seemed to Jackson that now was a good time to leave.
Jackson flinched, anticipating something bad to happen. He turned sharply and left when nothing happened. He cursed Shepard in his mind for not having the decency to follow the Illusive Man's direction. The Rachni were a real threat, and the Captain was just ignoring them. If he actually did what was recommended to him, by people more intelligent than himself, the Illusive Man wouldn't be acting like such a bitch.
Jackson boarded a shuttle to get to his office, which was inconveniently far from the Illusive Man's, though still on the same station. He was still shaking about what had happened moments ago. The Illusive Man was not his usual calm self, and he was now even scarier than he usually was. Jackson knew that he was supposed to stay up to date on every important Cerberus project, but he had also been swamped with handling the concerns of investors that had seen other's being shutdown for conspiracy. No doubt, the Illusive Man wouldn't recognize his complaint as anything more than incompetence, so he had just shut his trap, and would come back when he was ready, or when his boss beckoned.
He arrived at his office, and pulled the current project updates on a screen that displayed over the entirety of his desk. The light brightened the dark room with the white glow of the screen. It was evident that recently, armour prototype two had been installed with anti-theft technologies that were designed to stop others from studying their designs. He didn't have time to look at the details of the countermeasures, and moved on to the next piece of the project that he needed to be updated on. The armours themselves had been in dire need of a field test, and this was going to be one risky first test for them if the Illusive Man really did want to assault an entire Alliance facility, even if it wasn't a large one and kept more for secret research projects. He realized that they would need a considerable force to make it out of there with the artifact, so he put a high-priority order in to construct more of the armour two prototype that was now being nicknamed: Ehnrengarde. Apparently there was a German engineer helping out with the construction and his little pet name caught on.
Next up on his list of intel-gathering was to find someone who had been working for Cerberus upwards of three years ago, and was part of a cell that studied the Rachni. Putting through a call to R&D, Jackson asked for someone well versed on the Rachni experiments. A gentleman with gray hair, and a sour countenance appeared on the screen, after a few minutes.
The dry man answered with an acid tipped tongue, "What is it?"
"The Illusive Man has requested that I familiarize myself with the Rachni experiments that took place about three years ago. I was hoping you'd be able to help me with that." Jackson answered professionally, not using his authority to intimidate the man, as he felt that the bitter soul in front of him was as stubborn as his looks suggested.
The man mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, and then responded, "The Rachni experiments revealed only one thing that anybody cared 'bout. We found out that they entangle the minds of their offsprings prenatally, and when they're born, they can communicate with them more and more as time hones the callobration, or some such. They're a mysterious bunch, but they are different from us in a good way. It seems that almost all o' their technological capabilities were different from ours, and I'm sure there's a helluva lot more that we could learn if we caught some more of 'em."
"So, is that where we got the technology to develop the QEC prototype aboard the SR2?" Jackson asked curiously. It seemed to fit the bill, and it was a very useful and unique technology for Cerberus to have.
"Aye, it is. But lemme tell you somethin'. The creature's can do more than that. We had some evidence to suggest they didn't even use mass effect technology to travel FTL. Nothin' to go on, really, but the possibility of being able to travel across the galaxy without the relays, well… it could have limitless potentials for the man upstairs, if you catch what I'm sayin'." The scientist answered animatedly. The Rachni manifestly intrigued him, and Jackson could now see why a scientist would be intrigued. It didn't change how he viewed them, though.
"I read reports that they could speak through corpses, if I'm remembering correctly." Jackson replied, now fascinated in the horrific beasts that have haunted his thoughts and dreams at times.
"That's another somethin' enthrallin' about 'em. We dunno how, but I'd give an arm to find out." The man rumbled.
"You may get your chance, Doctor." Jackson responded.
The scientist smiled with his ugly maw, "If the man upstairs's gonna get me another Rachni to study, tell him I appreciate the sentiment."
"I don't think it's for you, but I'll pass it on all the same."
"You can't be too sure." He joked with a wide grin.
"Well, alright Doctor, I better get to my other duties and you should do the same. If you do find a Rachni in your care, please keep him locked up. I hate having to call pest control."
"Will do." The scientist growled, and shut down the link.
Jackson sighed aloud, and continued to update himself on the current state of every project that his boss could possibly want to discuss. He knew now that he should never ask the Illusive Man about the details of a project. Since he didn't want to anger the Illusive Man again, and it was inevitable that he would be beckoned within the hour, he read up quickly on the target material.
The details of the Rachni experimentation were captivating. He no longer wondered why the Illusive Man wanted to deal with the Rachni so bad. When he told Shepard of the threat, he likely didn't want Shepard to know that he had other plans for the beasts, especially his plan to experiment on them. Shepard should have responded to the Rachni report, so the Illusive Man's plan seemed solid: Shepard deals with the threats, and Cerberus is there to clean up and take what they please.
At the very least, Jackson felt closer to the same page that the Illusive Man was on. Hopefully, he'd know enough to respond to every one of the Illusive Man's schemes.
"Come in, Jackson. I don't know what took you so long; you've got work to do." The Illusive Man called out to the fringes of his large, empty office space. Jackson entered, and began to walk to a more comfortable speaking distance.
"I do apologize, sir. What would you have me do?" He asked.
"You've been apprised of our current status?" The Illusive man asked calmly, taking a swig of his alcoholic beverage. Jackson had little contact with the woman that was always filling that glass with liquor. It was weird, because the glass was almost never empty.
"Yes, sir. I'm completely informed."
"Good; don't let me catch you uninformed ever again." He replied, once again in a calm tone of voice. He continued, "The pirate group you're going to send in after the Rachni: Don't tell them what they're facing, but tell them they're just some exotic beasts we need brought back alive. Make up some reason for that if you have to. I've rethought taking the artifact by force. We'll still send a team in hot, but give them the secondary objective of remaining undetected. They can still wear the armour prototypes, but only if they get that bug fixed."
"The one where the motorized joints snap the user's neck?" Jackson asked.
The Illusive Man wore a smirk when he responded, "What other one would I be talking about?"
"Right, sir." Jackson responded, and waited while the Illusive Man followed his drink up with a deep inhalation of a vintage cigar. The man certainly had expensive tastes. When Jackson thought it was a good time to interject, he took the liberty, "It has also come to my attention that the Collector data has been successfully received by Khalisah al-Jilani. She's, no doubt, trying to verify the information now, but we should be able to expect a reaction within week." Jackson replied, happy to finally have that weight off of his shoulders. The Illusive Man made it quite clear that he wanted the evidence to her very quickly, and that was a week ago, now.
"I'm not going to praise you for your ineffectual belatedness. Make sure that all cells know to still keep their eyes out for Captain Shepard. Also, I don't want the Suns entering Rachni space, or anyone else that's big enough to come after us if they find out what they're dealing with. Other than that, you're dismissed, Jackson. You're lucky that I can be patient at times." The Illusive man answered again, never once making eye contact with Jackson, or even facing his direction the entirety of the conversation.
"Of course, and thank you, sir." Jackson replied crisply, and turned to leave the room with long strides. Jackson didn't bring a gun, and he was glad that his boss made no comment.
"You know, Shep, you could have sprung for a nice dinner. This is the last dinner you'll be sharing with your wife and all." Kasumi said smiling, sipping a glass of wine across from two people that she loved like family. They were all eating together in the Captain's quarters at Shepard's insistence. It was a very serene environment, and one that Kasumi really enjoyed when she was up there.
"This is good for a space frigate that has been away from port for over a week, I'll have you know. We've got meat!" Shepard defended himself, as Tali trembled with a small bout of laughter under his right arm. He squeezed her in tighter.
"You could have done better than the ol' Salisbury." Kasumi teased.
"Must I remind you that Tali wasn't even eating this sorry excuse for meat. She's eating her…"
"Grin'ig nuts." Tali finished.
"Exactly! Grin'ig nuts, which are like a turian delicacy, or something." Tali once again started to shake lightly beneath him, and he looked down. Tali was still wearing her mask, because Kasumi was there. It was a special trust that allowed her to feel comfortable with her mask removed in front of John, but she didn't yet feel a similar trust with Kasumi. The removal of one's mask was something almost sacred in quarian society and only done in the presence of family and bondmates. In fact, before they were the exiled from Rannoch, it indicated in their few historical records that the ancestors wore cowls and headdresses. It was likely that the custom originated from the practical need of shielding their skin from the hot savannah sun, but it has carried with them until the current age. Now, it was a sacred bond, which the revelation of one's face held.
"They're not really a delicacy, I just like them because I hardly ever get to have solid food. That's not to say that I don't really like them, John. Thanks so much for these." Tali said, still under his arm, and Shepard could feel the vibrations against him as she spoke. He brushed her arm up and down in a motion that probably soothed Tali as much as it did him.
"You see, Kasumi. You see how I please my wife. An apology would be nice." Shepard requested in good fun.
"Alright, Shep. I'm so sorry." She said in a playful manner. "You know what? I may not want you to please her too much. A girl can only listen to someone talk for so long in that 'rainbows and butterflies kind of way.'" Kasumi teased again.
Tali didn't respond, and Shepard knew that she'd be blushing despite having nothing to be embarrassed about. Tali didn't know about the time Kasumi had spoken to Shepard about their relationship, not that it was likely that it'd change anything.
Shepard stepped into the silence, "Alright, it's getting late and you both have a long day ahead of you." He said, standing up from the couch, making Tali sit up.
Kasumi stood, taking the cue easily, "Thanks for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Shep. I'll see you tomorrow, Tali. I think we're going to have a lot of fun."
Tali replied, "I'm looking forward to it. Have a good night, and don't stay up too long reading your books. I don't want to share a shuttle with a zombie who doesn't want to do anything but sleep." Tali replied.
"Zombie?" Shepard asked, though Kasumi was equally as surprised at the reference.
Tali dropped eye contact, "Uh… research." She answered unsurely. Soon Kasumi will know exactly what kind of research, she thought, scheming her plan of getting her friend back for the time she tricked her.
"Sure thing, Tali." Kasumi replied, still holding her bright expression. She turned and headed to towards the decontamination chamber.
When she entered, and the sound of a completed seal was heard in their cabin, Shepard turned to Tali who was already approaching at a brisk pace for a hug.
Her hug was tight, but it wasn't with the passion that he was expecting, and she still had her mask on.
Shepard worked to pry her away from his body, and take her head from its position, pressed to his chest. He unclasped the mask, and took it off with the seal hissing as it broke.
When it was fully removed he saw that Tali's eyes were welling with tears. There were streaks of wetness running down her cheeks, and Shepard wondered how long his love had been crying. He set the visor on the table gently.
"What's the matter, saera?" Shepard asked in loving concern. He was met with another strong grip around his torso, as she squeezed him in a hug and sobbed into his shoulder. Shepard held her silently for a time, and rubbed her back in comfort.
His strong grasp comforted Tali marginally, but she continued to cry. She confessed with a strained voice, "I'm scared, John. I don't want to leave you."
"It's okay to be afraid," He whispered into her ear. "You don't have to go if you're not up to it. We'll go together when we get a chance."
"No, I need to do this…. Thank you, saera, but I do need to go and resolve this before things spin out of control. Just… just… please come for me when I need you." She said wearily.
"I promise I will." Shepard replied in consolation.
"I want this to be a night that we can remember for its goodness, but I can't stop myself from feeling lonely. Will you just hold me, John?"
"Of course, Tali. I would like nothing more than to hold you right now." He answered, maintaining his strong hug around her. He could feel her breathing, and it was ragged and inconsistent. His heart went out to her, but he knew this was the right thing to do. The smell of her hair and skin filled his mind, and the dim blue that painted the room, from the aquarium, was a backdrop to how he felt. All he wanted was Tali, and he felt like they had been apart too long already. Her scent filling his nostrils without floating away was something that comforted and aroused him, though it also made him fear the future. He dreaded the time they'd soon be apart.
Tali felt John's strong chest move her up and down as he breathed, and she felt like she could take refuge in him like a fortress. She surveyed her life in the time that passed in his arms, and realized how wonderful it had become, despite all of the loss. This man that held on to her as if she was the most precious thing in the galaxy was the one firm rock of goodness that had stayed in her life through all trials. Whatever obstacles confronted them in the past, and however they were separated, they always came back to one another. Tears fell down her cheeks involuntarily as she felt the joy of the good memories that flooded her mind. The memories felt very vivid, and despite wanting to give her goodbye in one last burst of joy, it was hard to enjoy time when the future pressed on her. She would only feel a pit in her stomach, ripping at the purpose of joining, if they did. She'd rather spend this time being comforted by him, than to join with him in desperation like they did when they first joined.
They stood for a long while, and after half of an hour passed, Shepard squeezed her firmer, and raised her off of her feet. He knew that her breathing had slowed, and he used the tactic to wake her up a bit. Tali had fallen asleep, standing up in the support of his arms, and Shepard couldn't help but love her more.
"John? What are you doing?" Tali groaned, being crushed against his chest with her feet dangling down. Perhaps he wasn't taking her to bed in the most graceful manner possible.
"You need to get to bed, saera. I don't want you too tired for your journey tomorrow." Shepard answered, resting her gently on her side of the bed. He walked around to his own side as Tali snuggled her way into the blankets. She still had her suit on, but it would just make it easier to prepare in the morning. She did miss the feel of the sheets against her bare skin, but she had grown accustomed enough to the feelings that she no longer craved them as she once did. She did still enjoy rubbing her face against her pillow; truly, being isolated for her entire life made desensitizing completely in a couple months, an impossibility.
Tali opened her heavy eyes to watch John as he undressed himself, and slid into bed beside her. She spoke up in a hoarse voice, "You know, I think I'm up for some sex. It'll only take a minute to get this suit off," She offered, feeling sympathetic for her bondmate, who may have been looking forward to one more joining before they departed. Truthfully, he was content with holding her. To be her comforter was something he always wanted to fulfill.
Shepard looked down on her, with his head raised on his arm. He smirked, but he could see that his beautiful bondmate was already beginning to nod off to sleep. "Rest, Tali." He said, stroking the back of his hand down her tear soaked cheek. "We have our whole lives ahead of us."
The thought Shepard left her with was pleasant, and it was one that promised sweet dreams. She could hardly stay awake, and was too tired to worry about the details of John's sentiment. Instead, her mind didn't worry about the truth of what he said, but it filled her with a hope as she plunged into her slumber.
Shepard leaned in to kiss Tali as she now slept, and she didn't seem to stir at his touch. When he raised himself from leaning over her, he could see the look of satisfaction on her face. She was happy, and he knew that he had done his job. Hopefully, they did have a future to look forward to together, when it was all over. A man can only take so much sacrifice, and Shepard thought that he had already had his fill.
Shepard lowered himself into bed beside Tali, and made sure that he was close enough for her to grab if she wished. It was practically inevitable that he'd awaken to find her hanging off of him in some way, so he might as well accommodate. Shepard had trouble getting to sleep with the day that approached him, as he dreaded to say goodbye. A part of him wanted to cry, but he wouldn't let himself because of what it implied. He fell asleep with the reminder, we'll be together again.
Glossary
Grin'ig nuts: A nut high in proteins formed from dextro-amino compounds. The flavour is reminiscent of the cashew, but has a sweetness to it as well. The nut is native to Palaven, and is a common export as it preserves nicely. Quarians can eat the nut, so long as it is sterilized properly, increasing its cost dramatically.
Saera: Term used when speaking to one's lifemate. Literal translation: My soul's soul. Other meanings include, but are not limited to: Keeper of my soul and My soul's protector. Most commonly used word throughout the fleet by a quarian when speaking privately to their lifemate. Though unconfirmed by any quarian, there are implications that this word holds extreme intimacy as well as absolute trust. No single human word or phrase encompassed all that this one short word implies as it appears to contain both dominance and submissive traits.
Author's Note
It has come to my attention that I haven't been writing enough about Tali. This won't change my outline, or my plan for the story, but I'm going to increase the amount of Tali/Shep time considerably to stay truer to Calinstel's previous entries. You can thank my beta Bahoogasmif for bringing it to my attention. Don't think this spoils anything about the future of my story though, as I know that it implies Tali's staying. You'll have to wait to find out how everything goes. Beyond that, for those of you who don't know, I update my profile when things are behind schedule, so check that out if you think a chapter is taking a while. Thanks for reading!