Short, silly and full of sound effects.
*Knocking*
" . . . "
*Louder knocking*
" . . . fuck."
*Really loud knocking*
"What?"
"Trick or Treat?"
"You think I'm going to share any of my candy with you?"
"Rus' . . ."
"It's three o'clock in the morning, Danny."
"Yeah."
"It's not even Halloween."
"Well . . . "
"You're not even wearing a costume."
"True."
"You're not even wearing anything."
"You noticed that, huh?"
"Oh, it stuck out."
"Did it?"
"Just a little. So, you're naked outside my door at three o'clock in the morning and it isn't even Halloween."
"Oh, you've got a great grasp of the obvious there. Nice to see your attention to detail hasn't deserted you in your old age, whatever - "
*SLAM*
" . . . "
"Fuck."
" . . . "
"Rus'?"
*Knocking*
" . . . "
"Rusty?"
*Urgent knocking*
" . . . "
"Come on, Rus', this isn't . . . . thank you."
". . . "
"You shut the door in my face."
"Not your face."
"Oh, you're - "
" - You forgotten the part where I'm not talking to you?"
"That was three hours ago. I'm not forgiven yet?"
"For the Toblerone? For the digital camera and the roller skates? For telling Basher the story about Kiki? For my car?"
"That really was an accident."
"No, you're not forgiven yet."
"Can I at least come in?"
"No."
"You know, there's a difference between not talking to someone and leaving them naked in a corridor. You should really look into it."
"Look into what exactly?"
"That does it. I'm not talking to you, either."
"Could you guys possibly keep the noise down? Some of us are trying to . .. oh, sweet Jesus!"
*SLAM*
"Huh."
"Right."
"Think you've scarred him for life."
"Or longer."
"You shouldn't have turned round"
"Because that's the problem we've got here."
"What 'we'? There is no 'we'. There will continue to be no 'we' for at least another twenty minutes."
"Seriously, I'm sorry about your car. But the rest was completely - "
" - justified? What did - "
" - oh, so the towels were nothing, right? And the stuff on my phone? And telling Livingston about - "
" - well, since you sabotaged my - "
" - none of this would have happened if you hadn't told everyone I broke the polygraph while I was trying to grope - "
" - you were being over-enthusiastic!"
" . . . "
" . . . "
"That it?"
"Think so."
"Am I forgiven yet?"
"Uh huh."
" . . . wait. When was I forgiven?"
"Pretty much the moment I looked through the spyhole and saw you - "
" - so all this making me stand naked in the corridor has just been for your twisted pleasure then?"
"Yeah."
"See, this is why people wonder about us."
"Trust me, people stopped wondering a long time ago. Drink?"
"Thanks. Can I get some clothes now? I want to get dressed before I go tell Linus we weren't doing what he thinks we were doing."
"Exactly what do you think he thinks we're doing?"
"What do you think I think he thinks we're doing?"
"What were you doing?"
"Well - "
" - here. Shirt, pants."
"Underwear?"
"No. Terry still has it."
"He doesn't . . .fine. Is this the only shirt you've - "
" - what?"
"Never mind."
"Good."
"Still a little pissed at me then."
"I'll get over it."
"Who knew fire extinguishers would react like that?"
"Least we know what to do if we ever need to - "
" - Ghostbusters. Yeah."
"Why are you naked again?"
"It was an accident."
"You accidentally took off your clothes?"
"No. What do I look like. You?"
"Hey, just because you're wearing the clothes . . . "
"I was sleeping naked because it was too hot. I wound up in the corridor because - "
" - you opened the wrong door?"
"Glad to see you've cheered up a bit."
"At what point did you realise?"
"A second after the door shut behind me."
"And you didn't have anything to - "
" - you miss the part where I was naked?"
"You should always be prepared."
"See, now I'm having all kinds of thoughts and questions that I could really do without."
"Suppose you want me to help you get back into your room?"
"It's that or I keep the shirt. You think it's me, by the way?"
"No."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Come on, let's go get your door open."
*SLAM*
"Rus'?"
"Yeah?"
"You remember to pick up your room key?"
"Fuck."
"Well, guess that's two doors we have to get open."
"We'll start with yours. Make us think we're getting somewhere."
"Would be a nice change."
"You worried about - "
" - yeah."
"Huh."
" . . .What?"
"Never mind."
"What?"
"It's nothing."
"What should I be worried about?"
"In Terry's hotel? There's always someone watching."
" . . . fuck."
"Yeah."
"I mean . . . fuck."
"Yeah."
"Terry's seen me naked."
"No."
"No?"
"No. It's three o'clock in the morning, remember? He'll be asleep. He won't get to see you naked until tomorrow."
"Terry Benedict is going to see me naked."
"Hey, you've got nothing to be ashamed of."
" . . . "
"What, I'm just saying. You have a nice body."
"I have a fantastic body."
"Sure."
"What?"
"Nothing. I mean, a lot of women like love handles."
"Love ha . . . oh, that's it. You want to take your shirt off right now, we'll soon see . . . fuck."
"I can't help it."
"Yeah, but it's . . . wait. What's that?"
"What?"
"The scar, Captain Kirk. The scar. Looks like a burn. You didn't have that the last time I saw you naked."
"Well, that was - "
" - three weeks ago, after Basher set fire to the pool. How the hell did you manage to . . . when you were in Chicago, right? That's the only time you've been out of my sight."
"Yeah."
"Rus'?"
"Danny?"
"Should I be planning on killing someone right now?"
"Popcorn kettle."
"Really."
"Yes."
" . .. really?"
"It was a really big popcorn kettle, okay?"
"Uh huh."
"And apparently the oil to corn ratios are stricter than you'd imagine. And there for a reason."
"Any casualties?"
"Just me and my pride."
"Seriously. Love handles?"
"No. You're fine. You're perfect."
"Thanks."
"Like I said, you have a nice body. I'm sure Terry will appreciate it."
"Oh, that's so not happening."
"Seriously guys, I am trying to sleep here, so whatever you're doing that I don't want to know about it, could you do it quieter? Or someplace else? Like Nantucket?"
"There was a young man from - "
" -no, Rus'."
"I could rhyme that one."
"Everyone can rhyme that one."
"Mine had a good bit in the middle."
"Really?"
"There was ice-cream and chocolate sauce."
"Are we still talking about limericks?"
"Linus, you can take your hands away from your eyes now."
"He's decent?"
"Well he's wearing clothes."
"Okay . . . Danny?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"Are you wearing Rusty's shirt? It's just that it's really tight. And it's kind of marigold and shimmery and see-through and ugly."
" . . . "
" . . . "
"Sorry. I'm really tired."
"Linus, we're going to go and wipe out some footage from Terry's CCTV system before Terry gets to see it - "
" - and maybe get some ice-cream - "
" - Would you care to join us?"
"Somehow, I'm not feeling like I have a choice."
"That's the way it goes."
"We'll need to wake Livingston."
"Yeah. He'll be upset if we go for ice-cream without him."