Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews.
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
WARNING: Sensitive Issues will be discussed in the this chapter. If that affects you please do not read.
Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or TID, all rights go to Cassandra Clare.
Chapter 25.
*JACE'S .*
"Why do you think she's depressed, sweetie?" Mom asks, covering my hand with hers.
"When I found her this morning she was sobbing her eyes out and when she told me about what Robert said, I'd never seen her cry harder. She's being really quiet and I noticed over the past few weeks she isn't eating as much as she use to. I asked Brother Zachariah the symptoms of depression and Clary has most of them.
I'm really worried about her mom, and if she is depressed, I don't know what to do." I say. I'm so worried about Clary, and Lucy. Its obvious Clary is only grieving for Annabelle now, instead of when we lost her. And the pain is unbearable for her and putting her in depression.
"It definitely sounds like depression. Jace all you can do is let other people close to her know. Alec is close with her, and now at least he knows. So maybe you should tell Magnus and Simon, because when you're depressed you need all the help you can get, and I don't think Clary could be given anti-depressants." Mom says, placing her hand on Alec's arm.
"Why not? If they help her get better, surely she can be given them." I say.
"She's pregnant Jace, that's why. It could be harmful to the baby and you don't want to take any risks. But Clary does need help, because if she's depressed during pregnancy she could get post-natal depression, depression after the baby is born. And we don't her living in a constant state of depression." Mom says. No, I certainly do not.
"So... should I talk to Magnus or someone?" I ask.
"Yes sweetheart, I think that would be a good idea." Mom says. I nod and then turn to Alec.
"Is Magnus here or at your apartment?" I ask.
"He's here, waiting for Allie. He's in the sitting room with Will, who could or could not be asleep." Alec says.
"Okay, thanks." I say. I get up and go into the sitting room where I find Magnus with a wide-awake Will.
"Look William, it's your Uncle Jace, your second favourite Uncle!" Magnus says, upon seeing me walk in. I snort as I sit beside him.
"I'm his favourite Uncle, not Simon or John, isn't that right Will?" I say, gently tickling his tummy. He bursts into a giggling fit.
"Needless to say he's ticklish." Magnus says. I laugh as Will rests his head against Magnus' chest, with a little smile on his face.
"Listen Magnus, I really need to talk to you, about Clary." I say.
"Is she alright, is she sick again?" He asks.
"No, Magnus I think she's depressed." I say.
"What? Why?" He asks.
"It's a really long story, but Robert yelled at Jack this morning, because Jack wanted to show him a picture. Jack ran over to Tessa, bawling his eyes out. Clary walked in and told him to apologize. He refused, saying he was busy and didn't have time to look after Jack just because she wasn't fit to. After Clary stood up for herself, he... he blamed the miscarriage on her." I say. I'm still so angry over that and I will never forgive Robert for it.
"That... vile man! Though what makes you think Clary's depressed?" He asks, avoiding swearing in front of Will.
"She has all the symptoms and she won't talk to me about it. I don't know what to do." I say.
"I'll talk to her and I can confirm her depression, then really all I can do is talk everything over with her, until she gets better." He says.
"Thank you Magnus, anything to help her get better." I say.
"No problem, I love her too don't forget. Now, here, you take William and I'll go talk to Clarissa." He says, handing Will to me. Will lets out a cry of protest and pouts his tiny lips.
"Oh no baby boy its okay, Aunty Clary is sad so I have to go make her feel better. You stay here with Uncle Jace and I'll be right back, then we'll go find daddy." He gently tells Will. However he does it, he makes Will calm down and sit with me contently while Magnus leaves.
"Hey buddy, how cute are you, huh? You look just like your daddy." I coo to Will. He seems to like the sound of my voice as he looks at me with awe.
"Now, you and my baby girl Lucy are probably going to best friends like me and your daddy, and your papa and aunty Clary. I want you to take care of my baby girl for me, and you're the only boy she's allowed to date and she's the only girl you're allowed to date? Deal?" I say. Will grabs at the chain around my neck with the Herondale ring on it.
"Oh, careful buddy, break that and your aunty Tessa will chop me up and feed me to papa's kitty. We'll have to make a new ring for you, a Lightwood-Bane ring. The symbol could be fire with glitter around it." I say, saying the last part more so to myself than to Will.
After a while Magnus comes back in.
"Well? Did you talk to her? What's going to happen?" I ask.
"She's certainly depressed, but I can't give her anti-depressants, because of the baby. I talked to her but she didn't say much. I'm going to talk to Brother Zachariah today and see if he can think of a way to help her get better. In the meantime, you need to be there for her and let her know you love her and how much she means to you. You need to be there for her all the time, Alec and I will take Jack, no problem. Just be with Clary and make sure she doesn't get worse." He says. I nod and hand Will back to him.
"Okay, I'm gonna go talk to her now." I say.
When I get into our room, I find Clary lying on her side on the bed, facing away from me. I don't hear her sobbing but I'm almost sure she's crying. I walk over and prop myself up on my elbow, beside her. I place my hand on her shoulder and press my lips to her temple.
"I love you Clary, and I hate seeing you like this. But I will always be here for you and I'm never going to leave you, ever, no matter how hard things get for you, no matter how long it takes us to get over this. I will be by your side until the day I die. I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone." I gently tell her.
She turns around so she's facing me and she pulls me down to her. I lie beside her and take her in my arms, pressing my lips to her forehead.
"You must be crazy to want to stay with a depressed pregnant woman." She quietly says.
"Clary, the fact that you're depressed makes no difference as to how much I love you and as to how grateful I am you said yes when I proposed. Yes you're pregnant, but with my baby. No our baby, and I love her so, so much. You could kill a man, and I would still stay with you and love you. When we got married I vowed to you that I would love you unconditionally and I would always be there when you need me. And I intend to keep those vows. So I will always be here for you." I quietly tell her, resting my hand on her cheek.
She suddenly breaks down sobbing again. Oh crap, what did I do wrong?
"I love you so much Jace Herondale, and I wouldn't blame you if you left me. But the fact that you want to stay with me and live up to your vows and love me is... incredible. I have put you through hell and I don't deserve you. So thank you, for staying with me and loving me." She whispers.
"How have you put me through hell? You gave me a beautiful little boy that I love with all my heart and you're giving me a wonderful, amazing, little girl who I love as much as I love you. That, Clarissa, is heaven, not hell." I tell her.
"I lost Annabelle and then I almost lost Jack so many times and almost got myself and Lucy killed." She says. What Robert said has really gotten to her.
"Clary, it wasn't your fault we lost Annabelle. You know this; you tell yourself this everyday like you promised me you would. Don't let what that low, sick, vile bastard- I mean Idiot- said, get to you." I say, immediately placing my hands on her bump, when I swear.
"What are you doing?" She asks, furrowing her brow in confusion.
"Comforting Lucy, I probably scared her when I swore." I say, kissing her belly. She laughs lightly.
"I think she's asleep anyway." She says. I nod.
"But back to what I was saying. Clary, you are so much better than Robert, don't let what he said get to you, you can't." I say. She's quiet for a while before tears well up in her beautiful green eyes and she starts to sob again.
"It was my fault we lost Annabelle, Jace. It was!" She sobs.
"No, Clary no it wasn't, don't listen to what Robert said. He's an idiot he doesn't know anything!" I say. She doesn't respond, just sobs into my chest. I try everything to calm her down, but it's not working.
A while later she still hasn't calmed down and I'm getting really worried. There's a soft knock on the door and Alec steps in.
"Hey, what's going on is everything alright?" He asks.
"Clary's only grieving over Annabelle now and it's really hard for her." I say.
"Can I have a minute with her?" He asks. I'm reluctant at first, but Alec loves Clary like he loves Izzy and he just wants to help. So I slowly move Clary out of my arms and leave the room.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
After Jace leaves Alec lies down beside me and put his arms around me.
"Tell me what's wrong Clary." He whispers.
"It's my fault Annabelle died." I whisper.
"Why do you say that?" He asks. I'm glad he didn't say 'No it is not' straight away.
"Because I drank so much coffee when I was pregnant, and before I knew I was pregnant I fell flat on my stomach during training. I should've found out earlier and I should've been more careful." I say.
"Clary, Allie drank tons of coffee when she was pregnant with Will, and shortly after we met her she walked into a table, her stomach getting the brunt of it. She had an emergency ultrasound and everything was fine. And now Will is perfectly healthy. So you see things like that don't cause miscarriage, it just happens and it's no one's fault. Please don't blame yourself Clary, because it isn't your fault and you shouldn't suffer thinking it is." He tells me.
"You really think it isn't my fault?" I ask, looking up at him.
"I know it isn't. Magnus was able to tell that the miscarriage was from natural causes that couldn't have been prevented." He tells me. He can do that, as well? What can't he do?
"Really?" I ask.
"I swear on Will's life." He says.
"It wasn't my fault..." I trail off.
"No, absolutely not. You have done everything right during your pregnancies and you are a fantastic mother. I love you and you mean the world to me." He says. I smile weakly.
"I love you too." I say, as he kisses my forehead.
*JACE'S P.O.V.*
When Alec walks out of the room a little after Clary's sobs have stopped, I embrace him.
"Thank you. Thank you so much, I was trying everything to calm her down. What would I do without you?" I say.
"You heard what I said?" He asks.
"Yes, every word and I'm so grateful. Thank you Alec. I love you." I say.
"I love you too Jace, and I'm always here for you and Clary when you need me." He says. I thank him again and then go back into Clary. She seems so much calmer now. Alec is a miracle worker.
Before I lie down, an idea that would make Clary happy comes to mind.
"I'll be back in a minute my love." I say, quickly kissing her.
*CLARY'S P.O.V.*
A few minutes later I hear Jace's footsteps, again. I turn around to see him walk in with Jack in his arms. I smile broadly at the sight of my little boy.
"Hi baby boy, I missed you!" I say, holding my hands out to him as Jace sets him down on the bed. He lies beside me while Jace lies on the other side of the bed, making it so Jack is between us.
"Why you sad mommy?" He asks.
"I'm not sweetie, not really." I say, running my hand over his hair. He pouts and wraps his arms around my neck, hugging me.
"Love you mommy. You the best mommy eva!" He says. Oh he is such a sweetheart, I love him so much.
"Oh thank you baby." I say, kissing his head. He then turns to Jace and crawls up onto his stomach.
"Daddy?" He questions.
"Yeah little man?" He says.
"Love you daddy. You the best daddy eva, love you." He says, hugging him. I can see how much that meant to Jace, as he wraps his arms around Jack.
"Thank you buddy, I love you too. And you are most certainly the best little boy ever." He says, sitting him on his chest and kissing his cheek. Jack giggles and slides off Jace's chest. He crawls over to me and places his tiny hand on my bump.
"Mommy, what my sister's name?" He innocently asks, looking up at me.
"Lucy. Lucy Celine Herondale." I answer.
"It pwetty." He says.
"It sure is." I say.
"When we get to see her?" He asks.
"Well she'll be out of my tummy in July, but we'll see her in my tummy when Uncle Magnus is ready." I tell him.
"Okay." He says.
That night I fall asleep with Jack cuddled in between Jace and I, with his little hand resting on my bump.
I hope you enjoyed, please review.
Love you all.