Chapter 25
I choose you always
Dylan sat under Byron's Porsche Speedster on his mechanic's creeper changing the oil in son's vintage car. He had always done the repairs on his own car growing up and over time it hadn't changed. This car identical to his old car, was a classic, more of a classic than it was back when he drove one. This car had been restored and ironically hand picked by his son. At the time Dylan found it hilarious without prior knowledge he had this exact car too. Now this classic car was over 61 years old. He didn't trust even the best mechanics in Beverly Hills with it. The stereo that lay near on his near by work table blasted alternative and grudge rock taking him back in time. Dylan had always preferred rock and roll. Classic rock…even punk for a little while. The 90's had been a revolution in music, some of the best rock songs and artists were discovered. Dylan didn't even mind a little R&B from that era. Where Brenda was more youthful on whatever seemed to be popular at the moment, they both had a soft spot for 90's music taking them back to a much simpler time. Or was it?
"If IIIIIIII….could hold them in my hand…I'd make them understand…I'm not a haunted mind…I'm not a thoughtless kind." Dylan sang from under the car.
Brenda stood looking at Dylan's boots bouncing to the song from under the car. Her hand came over her mouth trying not to giggle as he wailed, "IIIIIIIIIII…..held her hand too tight…Too hard to make it right….So I could sleep at night." She remembered this song…but not from the radio, from the brief 90's era show that she fell in love with…My So Called Life. It was short lived but she would forever have a crush on Mr. Jordan Catalano. The ever beautiful Jared Leto, now a musician/actor here in LA, even with his crazy antics and hair choices over the years, he still was breathtakingly attractive. She actually had gotten to meet him once at a premiere, she fan girled a little but kept her shit together as much as possibly to have a brief but memorable introduction. She never really shared her love for the brief one season show with anyone but Brandon, remembering it was about teen angst and her herself was suppose to be past that being in her freshman year of college, but she was still young enough to appreciate the show that now a days she thought was very ahead of its time. She could never forget the moment in the show, with this exact song that Jordan walked down the halls of the high school, in front of all to see and grabbed Angela Chase's hand making teen girls and adults swoon!
"I'd do it if I could…I hope you know I would." Dylan sang not knowing she was listening.
Maybe now was the time to have the talk she had been meaning to talk to him about? She was lost in thought as the song finished and Dylan rolled out from under the car much like he had done back in the day, when he was working on Mondale. His eyes found hers and a smirk fell on his face. Her eyes stared into his, a look of lust and love that often they shared in private. A feeling of nostalgia with the song, Jordan Catalano and a young grease covered teen Dylan made her intake a big breath as a wide smile broke across her face.
Dylan keeping his smirk, "What are you smiling about?"
"Just remembering." she shrugged shyly.
His eyes widened and so did his sexy grin, "Oh really?" his eyebrows lifted as he carefully wiped the grease from his hands. "I remember too…you looked so unbelievably hot in those jean shorts." he looked down as he sat up on his mechanic's creeper still wiping his hands. Brenda moved quickly, feeling hot and bothered in all the right places. She straddled him as he sat on the board, taking his face in her hands and kissing him deeply.
He groaned loudly, opening his eyes. He tossed the greasy rag to the side. His hand went to her cheek, causing black grease to cast across it as it moved into her hair as he took control of the kiss and swept his tongue against hers.
"Well…this is new." he whispered against her warm lips. Joking considering last time this happened, Dylan didn't get straddled, he wish he had.
Brenda smiled and kissed him again. Brenda looked down remembering that she always could talk to her husband about anything, but she had sort of been dodging this particular conversation for a while now. His thumb swept across her now dirty cheek as he smiled, "You ok?" her eyes met his concern and still playfulness behind them.
"Yeah…I'm ok." she said not very convincing, her eyes lowering again. His head tilted to the side. His hands gripped her hips and he pulled her towards him harder, it was a sexual move but he really intended to get her attention back to him.
Her eyes met his again, the lust was gone and now it looked a lot like fear, "What it is baby?" he whispered.
"You know that song that was just playing?" Brenda asked quietly.
Dylan looked towards the radio and then back at her, "Yeah…Buffalo Tom?"
Brenda nodded and sighed, "It reminded me that it seems like maybe this is a good time to have a conversation that I've been meaning to have with you."
Dylan's eyebrows creased together, not having a clue how an old not even that popular 90's rock song could be the reason for a conversation, especially one that seemed to be bothering his wife so deeply.
"Do you remember a show called My So Called Life?" Brenda asked.
Dylan smirked and rolled his eyes, "Oh Jordan Catalano!" Dylan's voice moaned high like a girl and then he laughed at himself.
Brenda smiled, "You watched it?"
His smiled faded, then he looked down shrugging, "Kelly used too…sometimes." he felt weird for bringing it up but she had honestly watched it. That show had come out in 1994, that was his girlfriend then. He remembered trying to block it out with a book as she watched it from his futon every week. When they weren't arguing that is. His eyes met hers again as he heard her sigh.
Brenda's eyes narrowed, "Catalano and Rayanne." she said with clenched teeth remembering Angela's best friend sleeping with no other than her love and obsession Jordan Catalano. How ironic?
"What about the show Bren?" Dylan didn't want to go anywhere near this conversation, no best friend sleeping with their boyfriends or 1994 Kelly relationship memories.
Brenda came back to reality, she took a deep breath, "Remember Eliot asking all those questions about that TV script?"
Dylan nodded, "Yeah."
"My agent approached me about a show…a reboot or reunion really…My So Called Life Goes On…umm." Dylan's face changes now realizing what this conversation is about. Shitty name he thought.
"You're thinking about doing the TV show?" Dylan leaned back on his hands as he looked at her.
"Well…no…I mean…maybe? I read the script…being a fan of the original show, it sounds really cool to be apart of it. Jared Leto…Claire Danes…all of the cast is coming back, and some new characters."
"And…you would be said new character? Who would you play?"
Brenda took a deep breath, "It's a supporting character…ummm Jordan Catalano's wife?"
Dylan eyed her and then after beat a smirk spreads across his face, "Oh you are loving this." he laughs out loud.
Brenda hides her smile, "I freaking loved this show Dylan…I know we weren't together when it came out but I truly was a fan of it. It would be so cool to be apart of something I actually grew up with? This has little to do with Jordan Catalano." she said seriously.
Dylan huffed out a laugh, "Oh please Brenda…I know your obsession with Jared Leto, I was there when you met him at that premiere. I saw you fawning over him for like 20 minutes. Then giggling at all his stupid jokes like a 16 year old. Which by the way he flirted with you shamelessly right fucking in front of me. It has everything to do with Jordan Catalano." Dylan shook his head smiling as he rolled his eyes.
"The script is good Dylan, it takes place like 20 years later. Everyone moving on with their "so called lives", until the funeral of Angela's dad brings them all back to Pennsylvania. I don't even think I get the guy in the end. I mean of course Angela and Jordan will reconnect…which is fine, I mean that's the point right? I always wanted to see if they got together." Brenda was drifting, "Please Dylan…I want to do this."
Dylan took a deep breath he looked into his wives eyes. "I'm not going to get in the way of your acting Bren…I know in the past I did…but whatever you decide you know I'm behind you." he said truthfully. "I just hope you have thought about what this means." Dylan gently pushes Brenda up as he gets off the creeper. He faces his back to her, arranging his tools.
Brenda sighs, she knows what he means. It means that in this age, reboots, reunions are coming from every side of television. Roseanne made it's way back to TV, Full House…Will and Grace…all with amazing results. All being 90's shows. Brenda knows once word gets out the short lived brilliantly written show is coming back. With actors actually returning who are now full fledged movie stars it will be huge. Life changing huge.
"I'm still thinking about it Dylan." Brenda said quietly telling the truth. "I just wanted to know…that if I decide to do this…you have my back. I will always choose you."
Dylan turned towards her. He looked at the seriousness in her eyes, Brenda and Dylan had broken up in London…because of Brenda's acting. She chose her career over him. It had always been a thing. And after they got back together when she was pregnant. It was a promise they made to each other to always talk about roles and such for the sake of their kids. For the sake of their love. Brenda promised she would always choose him.
He took the slow steps until he was standing in front of her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her small waist as she rung hers around his neck, they held each other for a while. Hugging each other tightly.
"I will always have your back Bren…always." he whispered into her hair. Brenda smiled moving to take his lips to hers. They kissed passionately for a few minutes and as they broke apart. Dylan sighed, "Does that mean you get to make out with Jared Leto? Well…until he leaves your ass for." Brenda kisses him again to shut him up. He smiles against her lips, "Angela Chase." he finishes.
Brenda chuckles secretly loving the fact Dylan knew about this show, "I love you so much." she whispers.
Dylan playfully rolls his eyes, "Yeah…yeah. You love the fact even if you get dumped in the end you get to kiss and have a relationship with Catalano."
"Dylan honey…don't you get it? I married my Jordan Catalano." she winks at him and leaves him in the garage as he watches her ass wistfully shake from side to side as she walks back towards the house.
"Great." Dylan sighs going back to work on the car. He wants to be supportive, this is his wife. She had never really showed interest in film or television before. Which Dylan had always been a little pleased with. He thought of his kids, they probably wouldn't even know what that show was. Eliot looked at the script and didn't put two and two together. Their parents probably would but how often did teenagers tell their parents, Oh hey remember that show you liked when you were our age? I go to school with their kids. Dylan shook his head knowing that probably wouldn't happen, maybe it wouldn't be so bad? he just hoped Brenda was doing this for the right reasons, like going into a new avenue of acting, broadening her horizons? Not because she was a fan of the show. I mean it wasn't even a lead role. Dylan remembered how down hill their relationship got in London about work. Dylan knew being in London with Brenda after his late wife had died brought him back from the living. They were inseparable and Dylan grew more attached to her then ever. He was in a bad place, it was often Dylan fought with her for no reason, or when she toured too much leaving Dylan alone. The last year out of the three they were together was the worst. Dylan had grew deeper into his depression, Brenda was touring more, he started drinking again…it was a dark place for him eventually leading to Dylan giving Brenda an ultimatum work and London…or him. She choose work. He hated her for a long time after that...well not really obviously but he was mad about it. He knew that he was not in that place anymore. He was far from it. Thinking brought him to Eliot and the Journal, there was going to be a time when she read about these things and his first marriage. For one second Dylan's uneasy feeling of Brenda going into television escaped and the uneasy feeling of his daughter finding out he had a first wife came to the front of his mind. He had come to terms with Eliot reading into his life so to speak. She had been handling everything so far better than expected but it was just beginning, and for the first time in a long time Dylan was regretting his past.
November 7, 1991
Dear Diary,
So they unveiled a time capsule at school. It was done 50 years ago. Jesus…50 years ago, that was a shit long time ago. I wonder where I'll be in 50 years? Anyway, it was done the night Pearl Harbor was bombed in 1941. So crazy! David Silver is a grade below us. He is taking video for the video yearbook. Its so annoying. I don't mean to be rude to the kid but I swear ever time I look up from Brenda's gorgeous face he has that damn camera on us. He keeps asking if we will do an interview, as the popular campus couple. You know I hate school clichés but…I guess that is sort of true. Ha campus couple. Who would have thought? Me in a campus couple? Brenda has made a permanent mark and I guess I'm a changed man. I like who I am with her. I feel like our relationship has gotten to a place of comfort that we barely argue anymore. It's weird really, we are always on the same page. I kind of wonder if it will always be like that? I guess time will tell.
Dylan
November 8, 1991
Dear Diary,
Brenda and I took a look at the time capsule today. There was dumb stuff in it. Some cool literary things from that time. That was probably the coolest part. I mean who wants to look at greasy old pocket comb? I'm going to Baja this weekend. Brenda asked me when she was allowed to come on one of my surfing safaris with me. Fuck that would be amazing. I mean me and Brenda…alone…the whole weekend…in a motel…loving each other…surfing. Damn…that would probably be one of the best weekends of our lives. I'd never forget it that's for sure. I told her she could come with me when she was willing to get her hair wet. HAHA I said that as a joke. Brenda isn't a pre-madonna, she is feminine but not a princess. I like that about her. I think maybe I should start thinking of planning a weekend down in Mexico with my Bren. I wonder if her parents would say yes? Who am I kidding, Big Jim would never let her go. Maybe now isn't the time…but soon…soon it will be and it will be amazing. When I said goodbye to Bren after lunch. She kissed me like it may be the last time I see her. She told me she loved me and she would miss me and my heart felt full. Nothing is going to happen to me sweet girl. I'll go down and catch the south swells and come back to my girl safe and sound. I knew when I had pinned her against the north wall of campus, grinding myself against her and stopping myself before people saw my hand so eloquently placed on her left breast. It was time for me to head south. Well…not south on Bren…south of the border. HAHA Jesus christ I'm a perve. It's gonna be a long long weekend.
Dylan
Novemeber 11, 1991
Dear Diary,
My god. I went to school today and as soon as I got on campus, I knew it was not a normal day. There was a sad energy around and when I met Brenda at her locker she turned to me, had tears in her eyes and she hugged me for what seemed like 10 minutes. There was a morning assembly and it was announced a fellow student Scott Scanlon had died. I couldn't place who he was but Brenda said that was the surprise party she attended that weekend with the gang. She also reminded me that Scott was the kid in my tech class last year. I did remember him, sweet kid...sort of geeky, Sorry Scott and he was bullied fiercely by the jocks. I stuck up for him a few times. She said that Scott was a long time childhood friend of David Silvers. Like I said David was cool kid but seemed so young compared to me and the rest of us really. Donna seemed fond of him though so I was always nice to him when he said hello and stuff…well unless he had that fucking camera with him. Scott Scanlon had accidentally shot himself the night of his birthday. How fucking horrific. Brenda said they didn't have the best time at the party. It was something set up for more of an 8 year old not a 15 year old. But David had tried to liven up the party and Brenda said they danced and for a few minutes had a good time. Well until Mrs. Scanlon caught Brandon making out with Emily in Scott's little sisters room and kicked him out. Fucking Brandon jesus…control your zipper dude.
Eliot covered her mouth and laughed. Her uncle? Getting kicked out of a party for making out with his girlfriend…who by the way Eliot had yet to see why she was so crazy. Thinking about her uncle made her think of her aunt Kelly. She looked up just in time to see Kelly. She was actually smiling. Something she hadn't seen in a while. She was talking to a new teacher. His name was Ryan Matthews. He looked barely over 24 and taught English. Mrs. Havenbrook was out indefinitely for some personal reason. The word around school was she caught her husband of 35 years cheating on her with her sister and she had gone crazy. Who knows people talk but as Eliot looked her aunt Kelly she noticed her posture. She leaned in shyly, was laughing, like giggling at the things he was saying. Was she flirting? Huh? Wow. She leaned in a little listening.
"Well…Miss Walsh…thanks for showing me around." Ryan flirted openly.
"Of course Ryan…welcome to West Bev." she said sweetly. "I'm sure we will bump into each other again very soon."
"Hopefully." Ryan brought Kelly's hand up and kissed it. "See you later Kelly." he said with eyes only for her as he walked away. Kelly smiled looking down. A tinge of pink hit her flawless complexion. Her eyes raised and landed on her niece. She cleared her throat and gave Eliot a tentative smile. Eliot raised her eyebrows at her teasingly. Kelly rolled her eyes playfully and smirked as she walked away. Well…well…well Mr. Ryan Matthews had a crush on an older women who by the looks of it enjoyed his attention greatly. Maybe she didn't have to worry about her father when it came to Kelly but as Nate plopped down next to her she cleared her throat thinking about her uncle again...and her cousins.
"Who was that talking to my mom?" he asked semi uninterested.
"That's Mr. Matthew's…he is the new AP english teacher."
Nate nodded, accepting and mildly apathetic, "He looks young. Why can't there be any hot young new female teachers?" Nate said with a laugh.
Eliot laughed, "You're crazy, maybe you should try dating someone your own age." she shook her head.
Nate winked at her, "Oh stop. I'm kidding. I have a date with Pamela Davis Friday night."
Eliot looked at him disgusted, "Ew Nate…she's ew."
Nate took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged, "She asked I felt bad saying no. It's not a big deal. I know Byron wont give a damn."
Eliot shook her head knowing that was true, "No." she laughed. "He'll give you his blessing I'm sure." Eliot rolled her eyes.
Nate got the joke and laughed. "Just…3 words or you my cousin."
Nate looked at her curiously, "What's that?"
"Wear a condom." Eliot said with a giggle as Nate practically choked on his sandwich.
He wrapped his arm loosely around his cousin and kissed her temple, "Oh El…safety is my middle name, but my dick thanks you." he joked as Eliot pushed him playfully. Nate laughed out loud.
"You are foul." Nate continued to laugh as Alyssa plopped down next to them.
"Did you see the new english teacher…oh my god El…he is so hot. I wonder if he's married?" Alyssa said dreamy.
Eliot pursed her lips together trying to keep the irony hidden, she smiled, "You Walsh kids…I swear to god with the older fascination." Nate and Alyssa laughed and continued eating their lunch. She looked towards the school thinking. If Kelly had given up on Brandon…and Dylan…could she possibly be into a cute young english teacher? She was beginning to think that the drama surrounding her family…might just be beginning. She watched Nate and Alyssa head to class but then Eliot's attention went to arguing. She recognized the voices immediately without seeing it 10 feet away from her.
"Why are you being like this?" Byron said through clenched teeth.
"Being like what Byron?" Emma said back equally as angry.
"Being…such a fucking girl Emma…you're being a fucking girl." Eliot's eyes widened. Oh shit!
"Well excuse me genius I am a girl." Emma yelled at him.
"I can't deal with this…I did nothing wrong." Byron argued. "There is nothing going on with me and Audrey…jesus, I lent her my fucking math book."
She watched her best friend wipe a tear and cross her arms. Byron stood there after a few beats he took her face in his hands, "Hey…I'm sorry I called you a girl." He sighed dramatically. "Ever since we got back from the desert you haven't been acting like yourself. What is it? Whats going on? Is it me? Do you not love me anymore?" Byron pleaded. "Sweetie talk to me." he begged.
Emma back away from him, "I got to get to history." and just like that she walked away from him. Byron's hands dropped to his sides as he watched her walk away. His hand came through his hair frustrated as he turned to see Eliot staring at him. He shook his head as he approached his sister.
"Everything okay?" She asked knowing it was not.
"No…everything is shit. Has Emma said anything to you? Did something happen in Palm Springs? I can't reach her. She freaks out on me at any fucking thing, she is picking fights for no reason. Then she accused me of flirting with Audrey. What the fuck...Audrey? I'm sure! Just because I lent her my math book to review before the quiz. Eliot what the hell is her problem? Does she want to break up with me?"
Eliot swallowed hard, "I don't know." she said not really knowing for sure.
Byron sighed again, "Are you cool with finding a ride home? I got to get out of here." he looked like his mind was a million miles away as he looked out towards the parking lot.
Eliot nodded, "Yeah of course…I'll ask Aidan." Byron didn't look at her as he nodded and walked away, "See you at home." she called out but only received a hand raise in acknowledgment as her brother continued to his car.
Eliot exhaled, what was Emma's problem? Was it weird to ask? I mean she was her best friend but if something was happening in her relationship it was a little weird considering it was her brother. Maybe she wouldn't tell her? Eliot heard the late bell, only having study hall but grabbed her stuff quickly making her way to class. At least she could read her fathers journal…get her mind off of the drama that was surrounding her.
Byron made his way into his house and tossed his backpack to the floor. "Mom?" he called out.
"Mom's not here she had a meeting for a new role…what are you doing home?" Dylan closed his book giving his attention to his son.
"I bailed after lunch…I don't feel very good." Byron said semi honestly.
Dylan nodded, "You want to talk about it?" Dylan looked at him, knowing there was more going on.
Byron shrugged as he stuck his pockets into his jeans. "Not really." he breathed. "I'm gonna go lie down." he barely looked at his father as he climbed the steps. Dylan watched him disappear. He was about to follow him when he heard his phone ring. "Hello?" he answered not recognizing the LA number.
"Dylan?" Gina said softly.
"Gina…how are you?"
Gina exhaled into the phone, "You know what…actually pretty good. How's Aidan?"
"He's doing real good actually. He's kicking ass in track and his grades are good. He's a good kid Gina…he misses you…but he's fine." Dylan said truthfully.
"That's good to hear…I miss him too. I called his cell a couple days ago but I didn't leave a message. He probably hates me." Gina said sadly.
"He loves you Gina…you're his mother, I'm sure he would love to talk to you."
"I guess you're right."
Silence filled the phone call.
Dylan opened his mouth to say something but Gina spoke first, "I just want to say thank you Dylan. For…talking me into coming here…for looking after Aidan…thank you so much." Dylan heard the tears in her voice.
"Gina…you would have done the same for me." Dylan exhaled.
Gina huffed, "I hope I would have but shit who knows with me." she breathed out.
Dylan smiled, "Gina you are a good person…everyone needs help once in a while. God I know I have too many times to count."
"True." silence.
"We just want you to get better." Dylan added.
"I'm getting there. I should go." Gina spoke softly. "Will you tell Aidan I love him. Tell him I will try to call this weekend."
"Of course." Dylan smiled. "Take care of yourself Gina…call anytime…We are here for you…and Aidan."
"I know. Say hi to Brenda…Byron and kiss Eliot for me. That girl is so sweet it's ridiculous."
Dylan laughed, "She has her moments but I will."
Gina laughed, "Don't they all. Bye Dylan…and thank you again."
"Anytime Gina. Bye." Dylan hit off on his phone and took a deep breath. He smiled softly. He was happy he put whatever weird feelings that were between him and Gina aside and reached out to her. He cared about Aidan, almost as much as his own kids. He deserved any chance to have a normal life, with a loving mother especially because his dad was gone. Dylan looked in the direction of the stairs. He wanted to check on Byron. Something was going on and he hadn't seen Byron like this…maybe ever. He was always joking and funny. Never dramatic or overly emotional.
Dylan climbed the stars. he looked to Byron's door that was a few inches open. He heard him crying quietly as he walked towards it. He pushed it open softly, it took Dylan a second to register the sight in front of him. There his 17 year old tough boy son was crying.
"By." Dylan whispered. Walking into the room.
Byron wiped his face, embarrassed, "I'm fine." he looked toward the wall.
"You aren't fine son…what's going on?" Dylan sat next to him. Byron wouldn't look at him as he quickly wiped his face again. "Hey. Talk to me." Dylan said softly, his heart broke and he hadn't seen Byron cry since his great grandparents died, and still that was only at the funeral.
Byron looked at his dad, he shook his head. "I'll talk to mom about it when she gets home…its no big deal." then he looked to the floor. A tear running down his cheek.
Dylan took a deep breath, "Look Byron…if you feel more comfortable talking to mom about whatever is upsetting you that's ok…but…you don't have to hide your emotions from me. I'm your dad. I'm here whenever you need me, it's okay for guys to cry…you know that right?"
Byron looked at him, "You don't." he said softly.
Dylan smiled and chuckled, "Yeah…yeah I do." Dylan took a deep breath, "Let me tell you a couple stories when I was your age. Your mom and I were on our first date. We planned to see a movie but…I had other plans in mind." Dylan rolled his eyes, this story was easier to tell his son then daughter. "I took her back to my place. Where we could be alone…and talk." Byron smiled wiping his nose knowing that was a crock of shit. "We walk in the door and your grandfather was home. He had a bunch of his cronies there, work people and he starts in on me, like he usually did. We had words in private but I knew your mom heard us, we were fighting loudly about something not even important really…I mean not to me anyway. I stormed out and went for a shot of scotch. Your mom put her foot down and reminded me I was the driver for the evening. I was so angry with my dad I stormed out as your poor mother followed me outside, trying to get me to talk to her about it. She was trying to be supportive. We started arguing…"
"Wait dad this was your first date?" Byron's wide light eyes stared at him.
Dylan chucked, "Yeah…oh it gets better. We were arguing and I reacted and grabbed a ceramic pot and threw it to the ground. It shattered everywhere. Your mom was scared shitless and she ran. I knew I had royally screwed up and I ran after her, catching her in a bear hug practically and almost violently turning her around to look at me. I didn't want her to leave, it wasn't her…it was my dad, it was always my dad. She was crying, she told me I was scaring her and I pulled back a little. She asked me what happened and I told her. My father gets to me…he always gets me. And then." Dylan looked into his sons curious eyes, "I bawled like a baby. I clung to her, and cried because I had always been alone. I didn't have anyone to cry too. I always tried to be tough and cool and collected and one look from your moms sweet face and I broke down."
"What did she do?" Byron wide eyes looked into his dads.
"I sobbed into her neck and she hugged me and let me cry like a little kid."
"Wow." Byron breathed, "Then what happened?"
Dylan smiled, "Then we had our first kiss, like fireworks, explosive and emotional…intense and passionate…all consuming, powerful…incredible…amazing first kiss. I fell in love with her."
Byron looked down and swallowed hard. "What i'm trying to say By…your mom didn't look at me weird or think I wasn't cool anymore so to speak because I cried. She looked at me like a real person. When she broke up with me the first time. I cried right there in my speedster in front of her, actually begging her not to leave me. It wasn't my finest moment but I was utterly heartbroken. It's ok for a man to show emotions, some people are more emotional then others but it doesn't make you less cool…or less of a man for showing them. If anything it shows people you are more in touch with them." His hand came lovingly to his shoulder." Byron's silence filled the bedroom, so Dylan started to get up to leave him with his thoughts. As he turned towards the door, Byron spoke up.
"I think I'm gonna break up with Emma." he blurted out.
Dylan turned to look at him, "Why?"
Byron teared up again, "I don't know what's going with her, I don't think she loves me anymore. It's almost like maybe she wants to but she is waiting for me to do it first."
Dylan's head tiled to the side as he walked back towards the bed sitting next to him again. "Do you still love her?"
Byron closed his eyes as tears fell from his face. He nodded, "I do."
"Have you tried talking to her? Telling her how you feel?"
"Every time I try we fight. I don't know…everything is different. She practically picks fights with me…she accused me of cheating or wanting to cheat with Audrey. I don't even look at Audrey like that, plus she's with Stevie. I wouldn't do that to my friend. I just don't." Byron exhaled, "I don't know if its worth it."
Dylan gave him a small smile, "If you love her…truly love her…its worth every minute of it." Dylan said honestly. "Look Byron…me and your mom…we have been through a lot together. Some of the best times were with her and some of the worst were too. I can't tell you how many times we broke each others hearts but…it was all worth it. All the joy and pain and separation…was well worth it. You need to be honest with Emma. You need to talk to her and find out whats bothering her. It sounds like maybe she is insecure about something and maybe if you knew why…you could fix it. Don't just break it off with her because you want to do it first. Maybe thats not what she want at all? It's ok to be yourself with someone you love. Emma adores you because of exactly who you are." Byron smiled through his teary eyes and nodded.
"Thanks dad." he said softly. Dylan reached around his son and hugged him tightly. He didn't pat him on the back like guys Do. Instead he rubbed his sons back affectionately and let him finish crying. He gently kissed his head when Byron began to pull away.
Dylan smiled and gave his son a nod and got up. "I'll send your mom in when she gets home."
Byron looked at his dad, "It's ok…I'm good." he said with a sad smile.
Dylan looked at his son as his heart swelled. He left Byron with his thoughts and went downstairs to read hoping that everything would be okay and pretty proud of himself for being the kind of father he always wanted to be.
Brenda laid on her bed, she read the letter a few times not being able to contain her smile.
"What are you doing beautiful?" Dylan appeared in the doorway stopping to take in his wife. She lay on her belly, legs in the air in one of his old t-shirts. Her black panties on full display lying on her perfect ass.
Brenda sighed dreamily, "Guess what I found?" Dylan sat next to her as she handed him the letter, he smiled shyly. "That was the most beautiful thing you ever written me. it's a shame I didn't get it for a while. Since you sent it to London and I never went back to London." Brenda laughed lightly as she turned so she was on her back now, looking up at her husband. He pushed back her hair from her forehead lovingly looking into her eyes before looking down at the letter again. "Read it to me." she said softly.
Dylan gave her a soft smile and began, "Say you love me to my face
I'm needing more than your embrace
Just say you want me, that's all it takes
Heart's getting torn from all of our mistakes
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again
If you don't wanna try,
But all that I've been thinking of
Is maybe that you might
Babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say
And our love's floating away
Just say you love me, just for today
And don't give me time 'cause that's not the same
Want to feel burning flames when you say my name
Want to feel passion flow into my bones
Like blood through my veins
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again
If you don't wanna try,
But all that I've been thinking of
Is maybe that you might
And, babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say
And our love's floating away
Won't you stay? Won't you stay?
Slowly, slowly you unfold me,
But do you know me at all anymore?
Someone told me love controls everything,
But only if you know…I know.
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again
If you don't wanna try
But all that I've been thinking of
Is maybe that you might
Won't you stay?
Won't you stay?
Choose me Bren?
Dylan smiled down at the letter and took a deep breath. She felt Brenda reach up, taking the back of her knuckles and caressing his cheek. Dylan placed his hand into hers as he stared down at the letter, he had written her after reuniting at the wedding. He had begged her to stay, once again Dylan thought Brenda was choosing her career and doing that tour in Switzerland. He had been heartbroken again. The time they spent in the hotel after the wedding felt different this time. For once in Dylan's life, he knew exactly what he wanted but he also knew that they had one more chance to make this right because he didn't think either one of them could survive if it didn't work. He knew Brenda was scared. He knew by the look in her eyes the love was still there…maybe more then every before. He knew her choosing her career the last time…that time…was because she was afraid.
"Baby." Brenda whispered as he was deep in thought. His eyes met hers as she looked up at him. "Make love to me."
No words were spoken as the letter feathered to the floor. They melted together as one. The only words that were uttered were 4 powerful words that they had said to one another often…I choose you always.
SIGH….SWOON…I love them so much. I felt like they needed a little romance and passion since the fight and drama of Palm Springs. Next up…we see into kelly's journal…more with Ryan and Kelly. Also more journals finishing poor Scott's death and U4EA…My desperate Valentine…Eliot finally finds out how crazy Miss Emily is. There will probably be more but thats what the plan is so far.I know not much with Brandon and Val but its coming...oh its coming. Review...I love that you guys are liking this story as much as I am.