With shaking fingers, Dan read over Phil's message again, and again, and one more time, just for good measure, to make sure he didn't miss anything. He glanced around the living room, taking in the mess and trying to imagine something other than his stilted memories. What had happened? He would have never gone for another guy besides Phil in his entire life; Phil was all he had ever known.

And he remembered kissing Phil even though that was impossible. But as he thought harder and harder about it, he remembered Luke's rainbow eyes swirling, and a sense that he was floating, or flying, maybe. It was all too confusing for his abused mind to unravel yet. He gazed down at the couch, where he had Luke had inevitably-

Wait. Dan still had his jeans on. Which meant...

"Hold everything!" Dan exclaimed aloud, scrambling upward suddenly. Surely, if he'd done anything with Luke, he wouldn't have gotten straight back into his skinny jeans- he wouldn't have had the coordination. Maybe he didn't do anything with Luke, aside from what he already knew he'd done. And, even though he knew the kissing was still wrong- it made his heart clench just thinking about it- there was some relief in the idea that he might not have done anything. He still had Luke's number in his pocket from when he'd visited last, and if he could find the right pair of jeans and get a hold of him...

Dan sprinted to his room, ignoring his body's protests, and rooted around in his dirty laundry for only half a minute before he reaching his hand into the correct pocket, pulling on a shirt while he was at it. He brought out the scrap of paper triumphantly and didn't hesitate to dial the number there, already partway in a rage as the gravity of the situation sank in. Never mind what Dan had let happen- how on earth did Luke think this was okay? In any way? Luke had taken advantage of him, just as he had done to Phil years ago.

Luke was a dirty liar. And he was going to pay.

Dan glanced up just as he was about to press the dial button, eyes resting on the camera he had perpetually set up to film videos for danisnotonfire. Intuitively, he switched it on and pressed record, setting his phone to speaker as well. If Luke tried to lie his way out of this later- Dan would have proof.

The line rang once before Luke picked up.

"Hello?"

"Luke?" Dan demanded, the word falling out just as harsh as he meant it to.

"...Yes, may I ask who's speaking?" Luke squeaked, obviously already intimidated.

"It's Dan."

There was a beat of silence; Dan's hand curled into a fist.

Luke's voice was still nervous when he spoke again. "...Hi, Dan. So... how was your night?"

Dan scowled, his sympathies for the blonde gone completely. "Well, I wouldn't know," he said acidly. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Luke sighed to buy time, and his next words were full of tremors. "Well... judging by the recording I got of you... pretty good."

Dan's mouth fell open.

"You did think I was Phil, though, which is... it's more than I could even hope for, Dan. You have no idea how perfect it is."

"What are you talking about?" Dan's voice warbled; he was losing his confidence, sensing that he was diving into something farther over his head than he thought.

"See, Dan, we need to make a deal." Luke's words were big, but they were also strained and shaky, like he was forcing himself to say these things. Dan understood why he and Phil had trusted their blond friend so easily: no one would ever suspect him of malevolent intent. He was too timid. "We both have something the other wants. You have Phil. I have a nice little recording that could be proof of your relationship... ha, I didn't even think you were together when this first started. After I visited you, though... I don't know why no one's got proof yet." Luke chuckled, albeit still fearful, on the other end of the line. Dan remained frozen. "So, you have a couple of options. One, I let you keep Phil- I have means of detaining him long enough for your little love bites to heal."

Dan regained his voice at this, fury renewed. "What did you do to me? I swear to God, if-"

"Relax. You just let me give you some nice marks. That's it. So don't you go calling 'rape'." Dan didn't think it was possible to hate someone more than he did in this moment. "If you do, you'll see there's no evidence."

Dan tried to keep his temper in check and focus on the information. "Okay... what about... detaining?" He sat down and glanced at his camera nervously, truly thinking it through; if he kept this from Phil, he'd have to delete the proof of this conversation. Luke had the upper hand, but if Phil never found out this happened... the idea was attractive, for sure.

"I can hold him in Manchester for a bit. You might say I have a... business running in four cities, including Manchester. You might also say I dabble in a bit of... underground work. I might not be an editor, really. But don't quote me on that. I've been looking for a reason to get out of this job."

"You work with criminals?" Dan said blankly.

"Ah... well yes, sort of. You could say I control the transport of certain... substances..."

"Drugs?"

"To put it bluntly." Dan frowned at his carpet. He really hadn't expected something like this when he'd decided to call. Luke, a drug dealer? Someone who trafficked drugs, nonetheless? What on- "You might have noticed that you were a little bit more than drunk, too."

Dan remembered the confusion, the colors, the high, and suddenly it all made sense. He inhaled sharply. "It was the bread, wasn't it. What did you give me?"

"You know, weirdly enough, I'm not sure. I think it was mostly pot, maybe with a little bit of-"

"You're not sure?" Dan asked, incredulous. "You don't know what you gave me. I could have fucking died-"

"I trust my boys," Luke cut across him. "They whipped something up for me, free of charge. And it worked. Originally I was going to get you loose and ask you some questions. But when you thought I was Phil- oh, it was just too good not to take the opportunity."

"You drugged me," Dan accused, his voice lowering dangerously. "You took advant-"

"I already said. I didn't do anything to you. Just marked you up. Now- now would you please let me finish?"

It sounded like more of a request than a demand, but Dan paused anyway.

"Thank you. Now... as I was saying, I can detain Phil if you like. Maybe smuggle him a bag of something, just enough for him to be held up at the train station for a few days while they figure out if it's his or not. In exchange, you have a few more options. Paying me is one. Breaking up with Phil is another... then you'll never have to worry about outing yourselves or not, and you'll also let me have a go with Phil. Otherwise, you'll agree to let me sell the recording to my employer."

"Your... employer?"

"There are people who will pay to find out if the ideas they are obsessed with are real, Dan, and there are people who get money and recognition if they're the ones to tell it to everyone else. I signed up under one of them because ruining your career-" He paused. "Outing you to the world, making your lives difficult- it would be my compensation. Phil ruined me, Dan," Luke continued in a whisper. "He ruined me. And the money would be a plus."

A little red light flashed on the top of Dan's camera- low battery. Shit, shit, shit. "So, what if I just tell everyone the recording isn't me?"

"I think you'll find that very hard to prove, as the video-" Dan's stomach plummeted- "shows your face. It's very clearly you. I'm very proud of myself! And I'm not in it at all- you're calling me 'Phil' the whole time. I didn't even need to say a word. A few seconds is all the world needs to realize Phan is real."

Oh, shit. Dan shuddered at the humiliating image that sprang to his mind when he imagined what the video must be like. "What about Phil?" Dan twisted at the knee of his jeans anxiously. "I mean, he's going to know that wasn't him. How is that me 'getting to keep him'?"

"I'll admit to it all being a ploy, and I'll admit to drugging you. Of course, the public will be so obsessed with the video that you'll never get the true story out, and I'd say it wasn't true, anyway. Only Phil will know, and I'll retire a rich man."

"...Okay... and if I refuse?"

"Then Phil will see you when he comes home. And if he doesn't, you can count on me sending him that video by 'mistake', and it won't be a part where you say his name. He'll never know you thought I was him. You can say you were drunk, and you can say you were drugged... but it's just going to sound like an excuse. I'll deny it." Luke took on a higher tone as he mimicked his future self. "Dan was upset, all I did was pop by to give you both some bread... how was I supposed to know he was going to pounce on me? Your relationship was crumbling before I came over... I didn't expect anything to happen. It just did. And, you know, maybe I'll say I was the one taken advantage of."

Dan let out a shaky breath. The red light on the camera dimmed away, signaling the death of the battery, but Dan figured he had what he needed. "How long do I have to choose?"

"Two days. Phil's coming home then, right? So you have before he gets on the train before I can stop him. If not... The video will get out. So, good luck, Dan. Call me." Luke hung up, and Dan felt his insides withering.

He knew what he had to do. He had the means to do it, and he knew what was right. But he didn't want to; the fact remained that he had let Luke in, entertained him, and let him stay long enough for something to happen. None of this was good news, whichever option he chose. And if he told Phil the truth, well, Luke would still have the video... He couldn't win.

Slowly, Dan took his phone off speaker and pressed Phil's contact button. He wasn't even through one ring when Phil answered.

"Dan? Oh my God, Dan, I've been worried sick-"

"Phil, we can talk later, but I need you to come home. Like, now."